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This one time I consumed 10-15 units of alcohol every day for 8 years
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Sep 6, 2016 16:42
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| # ? May 3, 2024 00:01 |
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Walked home about 20 miles after a new years party, because gently caress paying for a cab. That my friends were sharing. In freezing cold and dark. I even threw a fit when my mom got mad when she found out, I think I was 17. I drank 80% rum and beers and probably much more
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Sep 6, 2016 16:46
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Drank seven and a half pitchers of thick hefeweizen in six hours. Bartender told me I was pounding the asphalt, crying "I'm a hundred miles from my home!" and vomiting copiously. Still have visible scars from hamburgering my hand on those filthy Seattle streets while making my way home. Woke up lying in my open doorway with my pants halfway down my sheets. And actually, that's not even the worst I could tell.
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Sep 6, 2016 17:10
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Drank more beer than I can remember, ordered buffalo wings, paid for them, then left. woke up with a puddle of vomit next to my bed, wondering who broke into my hotel room to vomit next to my bed.
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Sep 6, 2016 17:21
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I.N.R.I posted:I don't drink then hit the road, buster. this thread is for the adults
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Sep 6, 2016 17:40
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Bimmi posted:And actually, that's not even the worst I could tell. 
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Sep 6, 2016 17:54
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One time when we were about 17 my friend and I got real hosed up at his house party and we started walking around his neighborhood (still drinking). We saw there was a party going on at this one house and the door was open and we kept daring each other to go in and mingle. We took turns going further and further in, up stairs into garden etc. But then we got even drunker, and decided to "prank" the house. We got one of those big giant cartons of orange juice and went up to the other house, door now closed, and proceeded to empty the juice carton all over the door to the house. My friend then opened the letterflap on the door and poured the rest of the juice through there - all the while this jovial party was going on inside (yes, we were being huge cunts). Then my friend rings the doorbell, for some loving reason. We run, drunkenly, as fast as we can. The problem being his house wasn't really that far away from juice house. A chavvy-sounding guy comes out, screaming "WHO THE gently caress DID THIS". We're laughing like idiot children, falling over ourselves. I duck into an alley to hide and fall over into what I can only describe as a pile of scrap metal. My friend comes to help me, giggling. We hide behind a car. The dude immediately see's our stupid loving asses. He is much, much bigger than us. "WHY'D YOU THROW DRINK ON THE DOOR" he says. We are laughing so much we can't answer. He pushes my friend, he flips over a car and onto the hard ground. We still think this is the funniest thing ever. Two girls come up behind the guy and go "GOD PLEASE CALM DOWN DON'T DO ANYTHING" He looks so pissed. Again "WHY'D YOU THROW DRINK ON THE DOOR" my face hurts from scrap metal but still like how funny is this He then says "You're loving lucky mate, any other day I'd have stabbed you up" and leaves. My friend and I return to the party, where all our friends where having a quiet, drunken heart-to-heart. "HAHA GUYS GUESS WHAT" later on that night, three dudes, including the big guy, walk essentially walk around outside looking for us. buddy and I think this is hilarious. Everyone is glaring at us. Friend says "haha wait I left the door to the building open". Sure enough they come into the apartment building and all of a sudden we're all loving Anne Franking it, being silent as these dudes loudly walk through the building. They leave, and one of them says something akin to "if we loving see them we'll loving stab them up". to this day i wonder why he rang the door bell
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Sep 6, 2016 18:02
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One time I woke up in a strangers apartment. Absolutely no one was there so I ate one pop tart, left the second on the counter, and clogged their toilet.
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Sep 6, 2016 18:27
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Solice Kirsk posted:One time I woke up in a strangers apartment. Absolutely no one was there so I ate one pop tart, left the second on the counter, and clogged their toilet. with poop?
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Sep 6, 2016 18:28
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probably the time i ate at jimmy johns and remember nothing about it except for the wrapper i found in my pocket the next morning
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Sep 6, 2016 18:29
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i woke up driving an uber my city doesn't even have ubers
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Sep 6, 2016 18:36
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Smash it Smash hit posted:with poop? And toilet paper. They didn't have a plunger by the toilet.
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Sep 6, 2016 18:55
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During my honeymoon in Jamaica I walked out of the bathroom in a Margaritaville and then immediately poo poo myself.
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Sep 6, 2016 19:05
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Friend posted:During my honeymoon in Jamaica I walked out of the bathroom in a Margaritaville and then immediately poo poo myself. Did you jump in the ocean real quick as a cover? I did that while camping once, but it was a river. A sneeze turned bad.
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Sep 6, 2016 19:13
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I passed out in a driving range at my friends wedding where I took full advantage of the open bar. I was pretty far out i think behind the 300 yard sign so nobody found me and assumed I went home. The guy closing up for the night happened to see me and called me a cab. I got home and drank some more at my neighbors party and next thing I know I'm waking up naked on the floor of my bathroom. I never had the courage to ask anyone for any of the details in between what little I remember and felt like absolute poo poo for the next 2 days straight.
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Sep 6, 2016 19:43
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right now op
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Sep 6, 2016 19:44
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It was my first day of vacation in Mexico, and my brothers and I started drinking at 10am. At about 7pm we met up with three cute chicks, and they invited us to a resort show, so we went. The show was an audience participation thing and it ended up being boys vs girls. We ended up beating them and the prize was, of course, TEQUILA! So we kept drinking until about 11pm with the girls, then they left. At this point there was no one left at the bar except one other group of Mexicans who worked at the resort. They didn't speak english but "ola amigos, tequila?" seemed to cover it. So then we were drinking shot for shot with the Mexicans. This lasted until I turned my head to burp and about a litre of tequila came out instead. I remember being helped up from the table, and making it to the first set of stairs to my room, and then nothing. I woke up lying in bed in the fetal position with all my clothes and my flip flops on. Apparently I was belligerent and refused to let anyone else open my room. That's when I noticed that my room key and glasses were missing. The glasses I found in the garbage beside the toilet. Every towel in the bathroom had puke on it, even the little hand towel by the sink had a few red spackles. The room key took me another hour to find. I tore apart the room because the resort had a rule that if you lost their key it was $100 for a new one. Found it behind the dresser across from my bed. It took me the entire day to recover, and I could barely eat anything.
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Sep 6, 2016 20:27
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once a drop of light beer touch my lip and i was set a'tremble
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Sep 6, 2016 20:28
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1) Got so drunk on random vodka shots, sours, beer, alcopops, cooking sherry (don't ask) that I spent 2 days in my boxers on the floor of my university dorm pissing and puking into a bucket. 2) Got so drunk on random vodka shots, sours, beer, alcopops, cooking sherry (don't ask) that I woke up in the night, run into a wall and pissed myself. 3) Got so drunk on random vodka shots, sours, beer, alcopops, cooking sherry (don't ask) that I woke up in the night and pissed into my then girlfriends shoe. These were all different nights.
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Sep 6, 2016 21:09
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Had a couple times where I stopped forming memories the last hour or so. I try not to drink that much anymore as I find it disconcerting.
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Sep 6, 2016 21:14
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I went to a beer festival one time when I had just turned 21. Since I couldn't afford it often then I hit up the Chimay, Duvel, Unibroue, Ommegang booths a few times before everything goes funny. When my memory starts again I'm asking the attendant at the *unknown brewery, it had a yellow label* booth if I "can just like have the rest of this pitcher" since it was nearing the end. He says yeah. I meet a couple, play some cornhole with them, shake a cops hand and say thanks for being here, and my girlfriend at the time rouses me ~45 minutes after it finished from under a tree across the street from the stadium where it was held. To be fair it was the parking area for the beer fest and I think the couple had smoked me out or something? Idk I had fun but there's a reason I don't drink much anymore.
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Sep 6, 2016 21:22
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extra stout posted:how many of your friends listen to temnozor Looks like some nazi poo poo so something between 0 and 1.
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Sep 6, 2016 21:27
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All of these experiences sound horrible. I'm glad I don't drink anymore.
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Sep 6, 2016 22:20
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If drinking too much wasn't unpleasant it would be called drinking just enough.
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Sep 6, 2016 22:22
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one time i woke up hung over after 10 yrs of drinking and drive heaved for awhile then puked up some bile in the shower while feeling like poo poo spent the rest of my unemployed day on the couch then i took my dog for a walk
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Sep 6, 2016 22:24
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Disgusting Coward posted:Finished work at 14:00 on a Saturday, got a phone call saying that a bunch of Polish friends were having a house party and to come round. Can remember up until about 19:00. Consciousness resumed around 15:00 on a Tuesday - I was wearing a very well tailored 3 piece suit, had around £700 in cash in my pocket, had a very neatly stitched head wound and was about 100 miles away from where the party was. Two poker chips in my wallet - but from a casino about 140 miles away from where I ended up.
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Sep 6, 2016 23:18
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I was so messed up I semi passed out in a porta potty sitting on the toilet seat throwing up, and with my leg half sticking out the door so I wouldn't suffocate until some girl noticed me and bailed me out of there and fed me some peanut butter crackers.
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Sep 6, 2016 23:41
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Jesustheastronaut! posted:I was so messed up I semi passed out in a porta potty sitting on the toilet seat throwing up, and with my leg half sticking out the door so I wouldn't suffocate until some girl noticed me and bailed me out of there and fed me some peanut butter crackers. lol you're lucky no one pissed on you
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Sep 6, 2016 23:42
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Me and my best friend drove to provincial capital; snorted cocaine and drank from roughly 4 pm sunrise. We had plans to meet two girls there, and when they showed up, all hosed on booze and drugs, we rented the top floor of the bar all to ourselves to show off stupid oil worker money.. We drank with the bartender and all the shooter girls came upstairs to get a break from the chaos downstairs. They rented a hotel and hosed, now they are married for 5 years. I went back to my hotel and hosed the other girl. Than were going to get married, than I remembered I hosed this girl after doing lines of her tits. We broke up. True Story.
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Sep 7, 2016 02:59
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got blackout hammered at a wedding, three lit candles at people, and called the bride a oval office
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Sep 7, 2016 03:01
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Maybe wasn't my drunkest but my worst hangover ever came after I blew through a six pack of MGD and the better part of a 41 oz bag of Skittles in about 20 minutes
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Sep 7, 2016 03:02
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I once said something dumb really loudly, multiple times even.
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Sep 7, 2016 03:12
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wide stance posted:I once said something dumb really loudly, multiple times even. but enough about your posting
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Sep 7, 2016 03:14
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After funneling roughly 24 Bud Lights at a bonfire, I decided that I had "drunk myself sober" (this doesn't actually work btw) and I was safe to drive home. I woke up the next morning in the driver's seat of my car with my car keys laying on the floorboards covered with barf. I was so "sober" I didn't even get to the part where I drove while dangerously intoxicated. Come to think of it I think I have a picture of myself puking in a ditch from that party. But I'm going to do better than that this upcoming election day. My commentary on this election is I'm gonna stay home and drink until I pass out in a puddle of puke, because that's less disgusting and pathetic than voting for either candidate.
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Sep 7, 2016 03:16
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Impossible to know. I've gone on some pretty reckless benders in the past.
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Sep 7, 2016 03:19
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I got real drunk with an old work buddy while I was in San Francisco on business and ended up walking back to my hotel in downtown about 2.5 miles away.
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Sep 7, 2016 03:22
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i chugged a bottle of skyy while a bro cut out an infected thing from my foot and when he was done the bottle was empty and i dont remember much after tha
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Sep 7, 2016 03:24
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Serious Frolicking posted:i drank too much at a party once and passed out, and then the op raped me. rapist! RAPIST! im gonna loving kill you op! Haha like how do you rape someone who can't say no, makes no sense lol
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Sep 7, 2016 03:27
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The worst experience I ever had with alcohol was the time I drank a bunch of bud lights and chased them with an entire bottle of root beer schnapps. I was dry-heaving for 7hrs straight and praying for death. It was real dumb.
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Sep 7, 2016 03:31
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Hoooooooo pappy. Too many to count. Most involve hospitals/mental.... hospitals. Only some instances might have been funny. The majority..... not so much.
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Sep 7, 2016 03:35
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