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corn in the bible

Oh no oh god it's all true!
Lots of GOURDISTS around this year. Very exciting!



We were told that in SOUTHWESTERN GOURD CONTESTS, all gourds must avoid any African influence or be barred from display. These are some Native American style gourds, all made by incredibly old white women:



This one is a LONESOME DOVE GOURD. I was told to keep that a secret because otherwise he might receive a DMCA and not be allowed to make any more gourds, so this is an ILLEGAL GOURD from one of America's up and coming underground artists:



This gourd came to the artist in a dream, apparently:



Anyway, please enjoy these award-winning gourds.


















And finally, here is a SOCIAL COMMENTARY GOURD:



I hope you have enjoyed the gourds. God bless America!!

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Tiberius Thyben

Gone Phishing


:firstpost:

akulanization

who was crowned lord of the gourd op?

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
Not gonna lie those are some really beautiful gourds and i would unironically spend hours at gourd fest admiring those.

hitchensgoespop
Some nice looking gourds, congrats, nice catch. Hope you enjoyed.

plain blue jacket

IT DOESN'T STOP
IT NEVER STOPS
I'd like to touch some of those gourds ;)

ClamdestineBoyster
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Humanity is on a dark course. :smith:

corn in the bible

Oh no oh god it's all true!

akulanization posted:

who was crowned lord of the gourd op?

The snake gourd won People's Choice this year, but the eagle gourd won best in show last year and was being displayed in honor of that fact.

autoaim.cfg
:qq: WHINY SHITHEAD :qq:
*drops mic*
I FOLLOW THE SANDAL, HEATHEN GOURD-LOVING SCUM!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ka9mfZbTFbk


Have at thee!!! :argh:

Monkey Fracas

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
well that snake gourd is pretty sick; can see why it won

Hogge Wild

by FactsAreUseless

corn in the bible posted:

The snake gourd won People's Choice this year, but the eagle gourd won best in show last year and was being displayed in honor of that fact.

the snake was awesome

this one was good too:

a whole buncha crows

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)
some of these are pretty gourd

corn in the bible

Oh no oh god it's all true!

Hogge Wild posted:

the snake was awesome

this one was good too:



Yeah, the viking helmet gourd was pretty cool too. I think it was best in its category (ADVANCED GOURDS) but did not win overall.

angerbot

plob
It's the most gourdiful time of the year!

DOMDOM

where the gently caress do you lasso ducks

FactsAreUseless

DOMDOM posted:

where the gently caress do you lasso ducks
Rodeo

A ILL BREAKFAST

*unsheathes katana*

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Humanity is on a dark course. :smith:

you seem to be the lone voice of opposition. neat post, op. i especially like the gourds

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
i'd gently caress all of these gourds and the ancient white women who carved them

Smythe
cool gourde pics

SIDS Vicious


my oldest brother is named gord

Facebook Aunt

wiggle wiggle




Hogge Wild posted:

the snake was awesome

this one was good too:



How come viking gourd is allowed, but african influenced gourds are not?

That's racist.

Captain Yossarian

All new" Rings of Fire"

Celluloid Sam posted:

my oldest brother is named gord

Lol if true

Nigmaetcetera

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
Those gourds have been decorated, they are IMPURE.

Klimpy Borf
Little confused by snake gourd, what kind of gourd is that made of? Is it small chunks of gourd put together in the shape of a snake?

Luvcow

One day nearer spring

Hogge Wild posted:

the snake was awesome

this one was good too:



:agreed:

these all look cool too:

gimme the GOD DAMN candy

Facebook Aunt posted:

How come viking gourd is allowed, but african influenced gourds are not?

That's racist.

gatherings of old white people generally are, yeah.

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
really though creative arts and crafts by people of questionable sanity are always neat

corn in the bible

Oh no oh god it's all true!
Oh yeah here's one more picture I forgot to post.



Goose gourd! Also in the back you can see the gourd necklace which won Best Wearable Gourd

A ILL BREAKFAST

*unsheathes katana*

Facebook Aunt posted:

How come viking gourd is allowed, but african influenced gourds are not?

That's racist.

I think you'll find that Vikings did discover North America, around 1,000 AD! In fact, they called it Vinland. Furthermore... :eng99:

Yeah.. It's probably a racism thing. When I first read that all I could think was perhaps one of the lost boys of Sudan or a Rwandan refugee that was really into gourds back home brought a carving that made everybody look bad. So they put a stop to that.

VendaGoat

Serious Frolicking posted:

really though creative arts and crafts by people of questionable sanity are always neat

I too have attended a Cosplay Convention.

Son of Rodney

ohmygodohmygodohmygod

good gourd

Return Of JimmyJars

by FactsAreUseless
Do you have any gourds I can shove up my rear end??

Hogge Wild

by FactsAreUseless

corn in the bible posted:

Oh yeah here's one more picture I forgot to post.



Goose gourd! Also in the back you can see the gourd necklace which won Best Wearable Gourd

that armadillo is really cool

JiveHonky

by zen death robot
amazing thread. best gourd thread this week. voted 5

hitchensgoespop
Its not a viking helmet, its Anglo saxon.

Google Sutton hoo helmet.

Or don't idgaf

ChrisHansen

Suck my damn balls.
These are some crazy rear end gourds

corn in the bible

Oh no oh god it's all true!

DrCornelius posted:

Little confused by snake gourd, what kind of gourd is that made of? Is it small chunks of gourd put together in the shape of a snake?

I wondered about that too. I couldn't see any seams, though, so maybe it really is just an enormous snake-shaped gourd?

DOMDOM posted:

where the gently caress do you lasso ducks

If you had read properly you would know that it was a dream that he had and then painted on the gourd.

ClamdestineBoyster
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Eyyyyyyy I gotta gourd for ya op :boom:

buckets of buckets

CHECK OUT MY AWESOME POSTS
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3681373&pagenumber=114&perpage=40#post447051278

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3681373&pagenumber=91&perpage=40#post444280066

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3818944&pagenumber=196&perpage=40#post472627338

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3788178&pagenumber=405&perpage=40#post474195694

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3831643&pagenumber=5&perpage=40#post475694634
oh my gourd

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Uncle Salty
BOYS
Those are fantastic decorative gourds, OP! Thanks for sharing this interesting stuff with SA.

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