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I'm so tired of all these Republicans ruining everything! There are probably two dozen of them up in my attic, and I've tried cleaning out the nests but they just come back, plus Grandma's stuff is all still up there, and I want Brian to help me clean it out but he does nothing but play Diablo 3 and phone-gently caress his long-distance girlfriend Candice. And meanwhile there's all these drat REPUBLICANS(!!!) up there, digging up the insulation and talking to each other in those nasty, secretive little whispers of theirs, as though I can't hear them, as though I don't hear every word, every plot and murmur! Anyway, I've tried peppermint oil but it doesn't seem to do anything, can anyone suggest something?
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Sep 7, 2016 01:43
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May 22, 2024 14:33
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Caught six Republicans in the garage last night. drat things ran off with half my bootstraps.
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Sep 7, 2016 01:58
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Yeah, had to move out of the mobile home for a while. Bunch of leftists undermined the side of it and it started to go off-level. It's like, whatever happened to the third amendment?
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Sep 7, 2016 08:00
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Left some Bob's 1-to-1 Flour in the pantry too long, went in there to find a bunch of Coexist bumper stickers and a ripped-up bag fair-trade cocoa nibs.
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Sep 7, 2016 08:05
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O'Brien: So I said to Carol, I said, Carol, if you don't seriously rethink your approach to taxation, I mean if you don't really start to consider a more progressive tax structure, Social Security's going to be bankrupt within a generation, and Carol says to me...
Winston Smith [screaming]: Do it to Julia! Not to me! Do it to Julia!
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Sep 7, 2016 08:10
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[while being consumed by rats] This election won't ever end!
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Sep 7, 2016 10:58
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Escaped libertarians have become a big problem in Florida. They're almost impossible to regulate.
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Sep 7, 2016 12:47
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I hate the way Donald Trump doesn't give policy specifics, he just puffs up his feathers and chirps.
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Sep 7, 2016 14:01
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I'm just so SICK, oh my god I'm so SICK, please help me I'm bleeding inside, I can see the bruises forming around my abdomen please blood is leaking out of something important, blood is pouring out of something important and pooling within me I'm so SICK p.s. we need to do something different about college tuition
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Sep 7, 2016 17:29
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Tax disputes gave me diabetes.
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Sep 7, 2016 19:03
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I am riddled with tumors and furthermore I have views on the estate tax that this George F. Will column helps me articulate.
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Sep 7, 2016 19:51
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My immune system is shutting down and destroying my body. Furthermore, my cabinets are filled with horrible, crawling things. A final point: I don't think that sales taxes are effective.
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Sep 8, 2016 02:12
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The Body Horror Politic
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Sep 8, 2016 02:12
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The Enigma Of It's Obama's Fault
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Sep 8, 2016 02:12
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May 22, 2024 14:33
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Due to a parasite, all the needles on all these trees are turning the color of rust, they're drying up and blowing away. That parasite is called ideology.
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Sep 8, 2016 02:14
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Sep 7, 2016 01:43
