- Minimalist Program
- Aug 14, 2010
-
|
I found a transcript of her actual jokes but try to find a vid if you can
“As a right-wing hatemonger, it’s fantastic to be at a big Hollywood shindig with all these glittering celebrities, that isn’t a fundraiser for Obama!”
“David [Spade] is the perfect roast-master for the show. He’s successful enough that everyone knows who he is, but not so successful that he makes us feel threatened. He’s like the Mike Pence of comedy.”
“If I could get just one person here to vote for Trump, it would be you, Ralph [Macchio]. People would be so surprised. I’d go up and say, ‘I got Ralph Macchio, he’s voting for Donald Trump.’ And they’d say, ‘Oh what a shock! Ralph is still alive???’ Just kidding, you look totally fantastic, it’s unbelievable, Ralph. Can you believe this guy is like 54? He looks incredible. Whatever you’ve been drinking, you’ve gotta send a few cases to Hillary.”
“I’m honored to share this stage with a patriot, Rob Riggle, thank you for your service. You were a Marine for over 20 years, you’ve seen things no man should have seen, including ‘The Daily Show’ with Trevor Noah.”
“Peyton Manning, I applaud your conservative convictions, I know you’re a big supporter of Jeb Bush. That’s a political contribution that will pay handsomely. Jeb got four delegates, which makes me laugh harder than any of the jokes tonight.”
“I’m a big fan of Rob Lowe’s work, especially of course the taped threesome. To this day that remains the most authentic performance I have ever seen at a Democratic National Convention.”
I'm reading these roasts and they're making me do a very long, drawn out and strained "heh" that comes mostly thru my teeth.
|
#
¿
Sep 7, 2016 21:05
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
¿
May 21, 2024 06:04
|
|
- Minimalist Program
- Aug 14, 2010
-
|
I have a tattoo of a pair of angel wings over a banner with the words "There is nothing sadder than a Bad Roast" on my left shoulder.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 7, 2016 21:08
|
|
- Minimalist Program
- Aug 14, 2010
-
|
There Is Nothing Sadder Than a Bad Roast.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 7, 2016 21:08
|
|
- Minimalist Program
- Aug 14, 2010
-
|
i dont really get half of these and I dont know who ann coulter is
She's the person who tried to roast.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 7, 2016 21:14
|
|
- Minimalist Program
- Aug 14, 2010
-
|
I watched David Spade and Adam Sandler in "the Do-over" on Netflix and that movie was not very good.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 7, 2016 21:25
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
¿
May 21, 2024 06:04
|
|
- Minimalist Program
- Aug 14, 2010
-
|
drat jewel aged like fine wine
Inside a barrel in a french basement?
|
|
#
¿
Sep 7, 2016 21:28
|
|
#
¿
Sep 7, 2016 21:05
