- extra stout
- Feb 24, 2005
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ISILDUR's ERR
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I found a transcript of her actual jokes but try to find a vid if you can
“As a right-wing hatemonger, it’s fantastic to be at a big Hollywood shindig with all these glittering celebrities, that isn’t a fundraiser for Obama!”
“David [Spade] is the perfect roast-master for the show. He’s successful enough that everyone knows who he is, but not so successful that he makes us feel threatened. He’s like the Mike Pence of comedy.”
“If I could get just one person here to vote for Trump, it would be you, Ralph [Macchio]. People would be so surprised. I’d go up and say, ‘I got Ralph Macchio, he’s voting for Donald Trump.’ And they’d say, ‘Oh what a shock! Ralph is still alive???’ Just kidding, you look totally fantastic, it’s unbelievable, Ralph. Can you believe this guy is like 54? He looks incredible. Whatever you’ve been drinking, you’ve gotta send a few cases to Hillary.”
“I’m honored to share this stage with a patriot, Rob Riggle, thank you for your service. You were a Marine for over 20 years, you’ve seen things no man should have seen, including ‘The Daily Show’ with Trevor Noah.”
“Peyton Manning, I applaud your conservative convictions, I know you’re a big supporter of Jeb Bush. That’s a political contribution that will pay handsomely. Jeb got four delegates, which makes me laugh harder than any of the jokes tonight.”
“I’m a big fan of Rob Lowe’s work, especially of course the taped threesome. To this day that remains the most authentic performance I have ever seen at a Democratic National Convention.”
massive shock: a tv network hired a literal staff of writers to make a right wing book writer look bad because they can't get trump to do roasts anymore, and even with the 9 versus 1 effort they still were less funny than some random woman who makes a living offending the audience of the 'neo' liberal media
all true fans of the daily show should just admit trevor noah is awful at his job, and the joke about him owned
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Sep 8, 2016 03:44
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May 21, 2024 13:09
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- extra stout
- Feb 24, 2005
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ISILDUR's ERR
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i remember the simplicity of the almost fuckin gbs line 'washed up drunken cheeseburger eater' being my favorite line he did that night
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Sep 8, 2016 03:52
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Sep 8, 2016 03:44
