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gently caress the mods posted:what happened to the thing a year ago where he fled the country to avoid crippling back taxes to live with some girl he was stalking? I think Leonard "J." Crabs got him out of that debacle.
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Sep 8, 2016 13:39
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Mad Dog once successfully sued David Bowie because of the incredible similarities between his adventures and those of 'Ziggy Stardust'.
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Sep 8, 2016 13:46
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One time mad dog and I got wasted on box wine and he forced me to help him recreate the whole cell saga
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Sep 8, 2016 13:52
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Lowtax is radium
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Sep 8, 2016 15:51
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Funny story mad dog is immune to all radiation based attacks
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Sep 8, 2016 15:54
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The only thing tougher than Mad Dog Lowtax is his daughter.
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Sep 8, 2016 16:08
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Mad Dog Kyanka's name is a killing word, I hear
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Sep 8, 2016 16:09
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One time mad dog Kyanka and I drag raced some rockabillies on the old state road and that's why it's called dead mans curve
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Sep 8, 2016 16:12
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mad dog 'tax got busted by chris hansen during his famous tv sting but the footage and chatlog was too vile to ever be released and he slipped out the back door while the whole crew was dry heaving
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Sep 8, 2016 16:18
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Mad dog once went in to the hallow earth and came back alive and intact with the ancient scrolls
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Sep 8, 2016 16:20
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I hear he once had the clap so bad that he used his volatile urine in a way that made his dick some kinda chemical flame thrower
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Sep 8, 2016 16:20
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shoophobo posted:Mad dog once went in to the hallow earth and came back alive and intact with the ancient scrolls That's why the hollow earth is littered with beer cans and empty sausage packets
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Sep 8, 2016 16:27
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Mad dog actually honed his filmmaking skills by making several popular films under fake names like Richard Donner and John McTiernan.
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Sep 8, 2016 16:32
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I( hear the baby in Eraserhead was modeled after Mad Dog's first nocturnal emission
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Sep 8, 2016 16:33
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He once blew up the manager's office at a Chinese Sweatshop just because he was bored. Cool guy that Mad Dog
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Sep 8, 2016 16:49
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One of the dads in my daughter's fourth grade class went to high school with Lowtax. Real talk - true story!
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Sep 8, 2016 17:04
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I heard he works at Nintendo, with my uncle
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Sep 8, 2016 17:09
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He's not allowed back in to Indiana until he apologizes to Andrew luck for "The Incident" but when asked about it, Mad Dog just says "Who wants to go back to fuckin Indiana?" and flicks his cigarette at you
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Sep 8, 2016 17:10
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Me and mad dog used to bum cigs from drunks down town and then sell them to school children in the morning for mad profit
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Sep 8, 2016 17:33
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Mycroft Holmes posted:The only thing tougher than Mad Dog Lowtax is his daughter. Which one? I believe he has three. Edit: I think Mad Dog Lowtax may be Cthulhu. All of his friends seem to go insane. Mr. Noseybonk fucked around with this message at 19:03 on Sep 8, 2016 |
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Sep 8, 2016 18:58
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When Mad 'Tax was in Japan, he went into the Fukashima reactor and saved thousands of lives by pulling out the fuel rods with his teeth. Now he makes good money selling his turds on Ebay as flashlights.
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Sep 8, 2016 19:08
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The saying "Give it the whole nine yards" refers to the distance "Mad Dog" Kyanka pulled a freight train tied to his scrotum.
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Sep 8, 2016 19:34
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When 'Tax got killed when he cratered his flying couch, God sent him down to Hell for punting that baby alpaca. Satan asked him: " You're a righteous badass dude, Lowtax. Yah wanna job? I need a new assistant since Hitler quit." 'Tax said "NO! gently caress NO!", kicked Satan right in his red-hot iron balls, picked the locks on the Brass-bound Gates of Hell, and now, Heee's back. zimboe fucked around with this message at 19:55 on Sep 8, 2016 |
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Sep 8, 2016 19:39
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"Mad Dog" Kyanka once won a billion dollars in a high stakes poker game and then burned it all as he left.
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Sep 8, 2016 19:41
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It's a little known fact that PlanetQuake is not just a website but an actual planet. Mad Dog Kyanka was elected it's King after he turned the tables and made John Romero his bitch
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Sep 8, 2016 19:44
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That Mad Dog fella taught me how to love a woman and scold a child. My garden has never looked better.
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Sep 8, 2016 19:53
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Lowtax got a papercut on his glans and screamed but then it turned out he was just kidding and could have not screamed, had he not wanted to.
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Sep 8, 2016 19:54
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Mad Dog Lowtax Kyanka taught me that I should stand up for a principle, and sit down on my stool.
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Sep 8, 2016 20:03
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Ol mad dog Kyanka used to sell the youth in our town old grocery bags but advertised them as space helmets
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Sep 8, 2016 20:16
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Mad Dog Kyanka used to drag a big metal trash can in the middle of the street at 5:30 AM and bang on it with two big bull femurs and scream every morning, I don't even know where he got the trash can because everyone else only had plastic bins.
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Sep 8, 2016 20:26
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a hole-y ghost posted:Mad Dog Kyanka used to drag a big metal trash can in the middle of the street at 5:30 AM and bang on it with two big bull femurs and scream every morning, I don't even know where he got the trash can because everyone else only had plastic bins. Those weren't bull femurs 
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Sep 8, 2016 20:28
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Lowtax has three kids from two wives. So he had sex at least three times with at least two women.
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Sep 8, 2016 20:29
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We had a nickname for Mad Dog Kyanka back in the day, we called him Mud Dog because he would splash around in mud puddles like a fish while barking.
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Sep 8, 2016 20:31
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a hole-y ghost posted:We had a nickname for Mad Dog Kyanka back in the day, we called him Mud Dog because he would splash around in mud puddles like a fish while barking. Hm this does check out he always aims for puddles when we ride in his jacked up el Camino through Costco parking lots on Sundays
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Sep 8, 2016 20:32
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Smash it Smash hit posted:Hm this does check out he always aims for puddles when we ride in his jacked up el Camino through Costco parking lots on Sundays 
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Sep 8, 2016 20:33
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a hole-y ghost posted:What I don't get is why do they always let him into Costco without seeing his card They tried to stop him once, that's where he got the femurs 
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Sep 8, 2016 20:37
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People think he has had sex at least three times. But in reality he has really slow moving ejaculate and only dates clumsy women
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Sep 8, 2016 20:39
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mad dog drank a bunch of wine and took sleeping pills and weirdos from the internet posted pictures online
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Sep 8, 2016 20:42
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Return Of JimmyJars posted:mad dog drank a bunch of wine and took sleeping pills and weirdos from the internet posted pictures online That's like every Thursday night for me and mad dog you have to be more specific friend
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Sep 8, 2016 20:46
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Once Rich and I were hanging out in an abandoned appartment in a run-down high rise building in Brooklyn. We were on the 12th floor or something and there was only the two of us, a stained old damp mattress and a case of cheap whiskey. Anyway, we were watching the sun set through one of the busted windows, when suddenly Rich got up and sat down on the open windowsill. I will never forget how carefree he looked, the sun shining over his shoulder, the wind in his hair, and this utterly brilliant and insane light shining in his eyes. Well, you guys know him, so you know what I'm talking about. I am afraid of heights and was utterly drunk, so seeing him up there made me speechless. Mad Dog looked me right in the eyes and said with a clear and steady voice that belied the two bottles of Jack he had already downed:" Hold my legs, man, I wanna see what the sun looks like the other way around.". With that, he leaned backwards out of the windows, his legs still on top of the ledge. I jumped forward and grabbed his legs just a moment before he leaned all the way until he was hanging upside down out of the window, with me holding on to his shins. I was panicked, afraid that I would let go, even though he was rather light, but I was afraid his pants and shoes would slip of and he would fall to a messy death on the concrete below. I wedged my feet against the wall as to better hold him when I heard a sound I will never forget. Over the noise of the traffic far below us, I heard his laughter. And his laughter wasn't like that of a madman, but more like the joyful and liberated laughter of somebody who had just escaped from a lifetime spent in solitary confinement. It was the purest and most beautiful sound I have ever heard. And he kept laughing, and laughing, and laughing. After what felt like hours (though only minutes could have passed, the sun was just dipping below the skyline), he said "pull me up now, Ibo". The rest is quickly told. I pulled him in, and he was calm, even though his face was deep red. We drank another bottle in silence and when we left, we were confronted by two meth dealers on our way down, but they let us through once they recognized Rich. We never spoke of the incident again. Me, because the moment never seemed to be right and Rich... To be honest, I admire him, but I don't think I will ever understand him. I will never forget his laughter, though.
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Sep 8, 2016 21:00
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