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Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

PSA for all the Patriarchy LLC members.

Together with your last pay-out from our Privilegetm membership program you should have revived a notification that during the next week you will be required to renew your Patriarchy LLC membership card and re-enroll into the Privilegetm program as per an order from our father company Illuminati Inc.
This will also be a great opportunity for people currently not enrolled into our Privilegetm program to become a part of our benevolent capitalistic system.

I'm here to give you all a brief FAQ on the details of our Privilegetm program and what exactly you need to do to acquire or renew your Patriarchy LLC membership.

Q: I am not a member of Patriarchy LLC but I want to join. How do I do that?
A: Enrolling into our programs is easy but there might be a few extra steps that you might have to take.
a) If you're a White Male then you just have to visit your local Patriarchy center and you'll be granted a membership right away.
b) If you're a Person of Color then you will have to enroll into our RaceTraitortm program before you can be granted a membership.
c) If you're Female then you will have to enroll into our GenderTraitortm program before you can be granted a membership.

Q: How does the Privilege membership program work?
A: After acquiring your Partiarchy LLC membership card and enrolling into our programs you will receive your individual Oppression Quotas by mail.
At the end of every month your oppressive activities will be calculated and you will receive a monetary pay-out depending on the number of oppressive activities you participated in during that month.
The Patriarchy LLC membership card also gives you access to various advantages in your day to day life. For more information visit your local Patriarchy LLC center.

That's the quick rundown on our membership system. If you have any questions about our programs feel free to contact us by visiting the local Patriarchy LLC center, calling us at 888-MALEPRIVILEGE or leaving your question directly in this thread.

cnut posted:

I joined the Patriarchy LLC and got my Privilege(tm) card and now I get all kinds of pussy. Thanks Illuminati Inc.!

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

I can't wait for all these noncompetitive males and oppression-friendly females to fall into line!

You can't spell Patriarchy without A Rich Party! :homebrew:

Jack Trades fucked around with this message at 17:20 on Sep 10, 2016

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Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Eames36 posted:

*shakes out fedora* ah-ha yes excuse me? excuse me sir --- sir? where is the nearest enrollment center?

You can find the location of your local Patriarchy LLC center by vising our website at patriarchy dot com or calling our service number.

Doc Friday posted:

Do I get free food if I join?

Provided you fulfill our program requirements a satisfying quality of life can certainly be provided to you.
Our company prides itself on having our members satisfied so that they can provide their maximum oppression output.

ReagaNOMNOMicks posted:

Can I get my White Card as well or is it in an other office?

The white privilege bureau is down the hall.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

CharlestonJew posted:

You have a mother company? Doesn't sound like much of a patriarchy to me op

You saw nothing.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Toadvine posted:

If I the white man am liVing with so much privilege why am I also living with so much self loathing??

Please don't spread disinformation. Being a member of the PRIVILEGEtm program is a 200% guarantee for a satisfying and happy life.
Anyone who says otherwise is just trying to undermine our glorious system.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Good Canadian Boy posted:

Hi there, if I am half white do I have to do the full race traitor program first?

No, there's a slightly more lenient version of the program specifically for you.

fresh_cheese posted:

Hey, I tried to use my PRIVILEGE card to get the add on services at the massage parlor, but the lady said they don't accept PRIVILEGE cards anymore? Can they DO that?

Report that to your nearest Patriarchy LLC center and we'll dispatch out fixers right on that.

Archer666 posted:

As a homo slav, what kind of benefits can I expect upon joining a Patriarchy?

Slavs are classified as being "Schrödinger's PoC" so your race status is dependent of whether the cat is dead or alive.

Otisburg posted:

how many microaggressions do i gotta do to equal one macroaggresion?

Latest conversion rate lies at 17.234 microagressions per macroagression but it does fluctuate.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Peebla posted:

I uninvitedly interrupted, hushed, and loudly explained and demonstrated the correct way to most effectively use the self-checkout lane at the supermarket to several dozen females today. Quite forcefully, I might add.

Is there like a points system if I exceed my oppressions quota? I'd ideally like to maybe save up for a 'White Dude Right Here' ball cap or something.

Of course. Exceeding your opression quota will get you bonus monetary and service rewards.
We want our members to be as productive as possible in spreading oppression.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

LegoPirateNinja posted:

Can you explain why your benefits for the last quarter paid out less, on average, than Minority Female?
No comment.

Darth123123 posted:

Are any double bonus activities I can engage in to rack up the rewards?

This month's bonus activity is preventing video game developers from making strong female characters.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

I can't wait for all these noncompetitive males and oppression-friendly females to fall into line!

You can't spell Patriarchy without A Rich Party! :homebrew:

This guy gets it.

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Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

im gaye posted:

do the old 'nam veterans and the gamer mras get into good-natured scraps kinda like the dean in revenge of the nerds

Yes.

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