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"These pretzels are triggering me!" Someone came up with that the last time we had this thread and I thought it was worthy of a repeat.
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Sep 12, 2016 19:42
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| # ? May 7, 2024 15:57 |
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Kramer discovers AliExpress and gets addicted to cheap Chinese electronics and trinkets
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Sep 12, 2016 20:11
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Captain Video posted:Kramer discovers AliExpress and gets addicted to cheap Chinese electronics and trinkets He starts using a label maker to make very poorly recreations of brand name logos and putting them over the chinese letters so he and Newman can sell them on ebay "See Jerry, add the 5 cent label and my SHin Hao PDA becomes a Samsung tablet! And we're gettin a deal on shipping thanks to Newman!
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Sep 12, 2016 20:15
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galagazombie posted:Honestly so many plots in Seinfeld revolved around characters not-being able to get in contact with each other or otherwise relay information that half the episodes just couldn't work in these days were everyone has cellphones and email. LoL email. What is this 2006?
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Sep 12, 2016 20:17
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The entire show is just a madlib of the original show, but with modern references.
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Sep 12, 2016 20:49
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it would probably sound like this https://soundcloud.com/jetaimeabelard/seinwave
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Sep 12, 2016 22:06
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theflyingexecutive posted:Yo, Curb is modern Seinfeld Eh, no it isn't. It's Always Sunny is the modern Seinfeld, Curb is "George Costanza's boring rich guy life as depicted by Bernie Sanders"
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Sep 12, 2016 22:28
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George gets a job as a zookeeper in order to try and sleep with the current simian caretaker. Jerry starts dating rabid sjw. Meanwhile, Elaine is getting really into Pokémon Go. Jerry says that he tried playing it for a while, but got frustrated when every local gym was dominated by Newman, who has an advantage due to his mail route. "He doesn't even walk to these places! I thought Pokémon Go was all about exercise." Kramer stumbles in the door with his cool new find: a shirt with a cartoon frog on it that looks just hilarious. "Just look how smug he is Jerry! He's hilarious!" Elaine mentions that she has to go watch her friend's kid, but she's looking forward to taking the kid out for a bit to get some new Pokémon.Kramer and Jerry leave Jerry's apartment to get coffee, when they run into a protest being organized by Jerry's girlfriend. She see's Kramer's pepe shirt and Jerry's girlfriend is infuriated, and breaks up with Jerry for being friends with a white nationalist, then she and her group chase Kramer throughout New York. Elaine takes the kid to the zoo to catch some rare Pokémon, when suddenly Kramer runs past, narrowly evading the protesters. They see Elaine caring for this child, and accuse her of being a housewife that supports the patriarchy, and while Elaine is distracted the kid climbs into the gorilla enclosure. Everyone panics, and they call the zookeepers to come help: interrupting George asking this girl out. She and George rush to the gorilla pen, where another zoo official hands George a gun, telling him to shoot their most popular gorilla: Harambe. End with a freeze frame on George's panicked face as he has to decide between this girl he likes and this child's life.
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Sep 16, 2016 10:00
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Nanomashoes posted:George gets a job as a zookeeper in order to try and sleep with the current simian caretaker. Jerry starts dating rabid sjw. Meanwhile, Elaine is getting really into Pokémon Go. Jerry says that he tried playing it for a while, but got frustrated when every local gym was dominated by Newman, who has an advantage due to his mail route. "He doesn't even walk to these places! I thought Pokémon Go was all about exercise." Kramer stumbles in the door with his cool new find: a shirt with a cartoon frog on it that looks just hilarious. "Just look how smug he is Jerry! He's hilarious!" Elaine mentions that she has to go watch her friend's kid, but she's looking forward to taking the kid out for a bit to get some new Pokémon.Kramer and Jerry leave Jerry's apartment to get coffee, when they run into a protest being organized by Jerry's girlfriend. She see's Kramer's pepe shirt and Jerry's girlfriend is infuriated, and breaks up with Jerry for being friends with a white nationalist, then she and her group chase Kramer throughout New York. Elaine takes the kid to the zoo to catch some rare Pokémon, when suddenly Kramer runs past, narrowly evading the protesters. They see Elaine caring for this child, and accuse her of being a housewife that supports the patriarchy, and while Elaine is distracted the kid climbs into the gorilla enclosure. Everyone panics, and they call the zookeepers to come help: interrupting George asking this girl out. She and George rush to the gorilla pen, where another zoo official hands George a gun, telling him to shoot their most popular gorilla: Harambe. End with a freeze frame on George's panicked face as he has to decide between this girl he likes and this child's life. lol
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Sep 16, 2016 13:23
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George: A what? Jerry: A gorilla sniper. George: A gorilla snipers- why am I a gorilla sniper? Jerry: I may have mentioned it. George: But I'm not a gorilla sniper!
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Sep 16, 2016 13:29
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Kramer convinces George to buy his buddy Bob Sacamanos Xbox One + Kinect. "you don't have to get up, you don't have to find the remote George. You just tell it you wanna watch the game.. and you're watching the game! think about it!" Jerry expresses an interest in getting one, Kramer warns him off admitting that it's "like trying to talk to a cat, Jerry. A cat! Sometimes it might do what you're asking but it's just coincidence. They don't even make em anymore" Episode ends with George sitting alone in a dark room in front of his TV saying, then shouting, then screaming "XBOX ON! XBOX!!! ON!!"
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Sep 16, 2016 13:54
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Germstore posted:George: A what? George: Jerry, you KNOW I always wanted to be a front-end developer.
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Sep 16, 2016 14:08
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Kramer hears about bath salts and decides it's a good business to get into. One night through a crazy set of coincidences that could only exist in the Seinfeld universe, Kramer accidentally gets high off bath salts and HOO BOY hilarity ensues! He slides into Jerry's apartment like he normally does *cue laugh track* then starts eating Jerry's face. He kills Jerry, doesn't stop at the face, and continues to feast on the body. George and Elaine show up and find him hunched over Jerry's corpse slurping his intestines like a mad man yelling "ANYONE WANT SOME SAUSAGE ??" George and Elaine stand there with a look of half shock half amusement like "oh, that Kramer !! lol" Cue freeze frame of Kramer grinning, face completely covered in Jerry's fresh blood and guts.
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Sep 16, 2016 14:14
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That reminded me to check in on that Florida cannibal killer and whoops, you need to be more specific than that on Google
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Sep 16, 2016 14:34
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Kramer: This social justice trend that she's come up with, Jerry. This is gonna be the new look for the twenty-tens. You're gonna be the first social justice warrior! Jerry: But, I don't want to be a social justice warrior!
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Sep 16, 2016 14:43
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George: it's all incest porn Jerry! Jerry: All of it! George: All of it! Jerry: what about that one there? George: I tried Jerry! The girl's mom busts in the room four minutes in! Then her grandma six minutes after that! Jerry: oh that's awful? Wait, the mom came in and you- *Kramer kramers into the room* Kramer: guys, there's something wrong with the porn! *george and Jerry share a thoughtful look, bass riff and fade out*
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Sep 16, 2016 14:52
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Nanomashoes posted:George gets a job as a zookeeper in order to try and sleep with the current simian caretaker. Jerry starts dating rabid sjw. Meanwhile, Elaine is getting really into Pokémon Go. Jerry says that he tried playing it for a while, but got frustrated when every local gym was dominated by Newman, who has an advantage due to his mail route. "He doesn't even walk to these places! I thought Pokémon Go was all about exercise." Kramer stumbles in the door with his cool new find: a shirt with a cartoon frog on it that looks just hilarious. "Just look how smug he is Jerry! He's hilarious!" Elaine mentions that she has to go watch her friend's kid, but she's looking forward to taking the kid out for a bit to get some new Pokémon.Kramer and Jerry leave Jerry's apartment to get coffee, when they run into a protest being organized by Jerry's girlfriend. She see's Kramer's pepe shirt and Jerry's girlfriend is infuriated, and breaks up with Jerry for being friends with a white nationalist, then she and her group chase Kramer throughout New York. Elaine takes the kid to the zoo to catch some rare Pokémon, when suddenly Kramer runs past, narrowly evading the protesters. They see Elaine caring for this child, and accuse her of being a housewife that supports the patriarchy, and while Elaine is distracted the kid climbs into the gorilla enclosure. Everyone panics, and they call the zookeepers to come help: interrupting George asking this girl out. She and George rush to the gorilla pen, where another zoo official hands George a gun, telling him to shoot their most popular gorilla: Harambe. End with a freeze frame on George's panicked face as he has to decide between this girl he likes and this child's life. 5
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Sep 16, 2016 15:17
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GEORGE: incest used to mean something! now it's all "step"! step dad, step sister, step mom, all step! im taking a stand against the step, jerry! wait I feel like I already wrote a modern seinfeld incest script
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Sep 16, 2016 15:23
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let me just say I love how much the Seinfeld dialogue style is engrained in everyone's head
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Sep 16, 2016 16:46
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sweetmercifulcrap posted:let me just say I love how much the Seinfeld dialogue style is engrained in everyone's head https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gVi-kIVY4I
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Sep 16, 2016 16:48
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Fat Shat Sings posted:They would see a fat person getting mugged, mock them in exactly the same way except now the mugger and the victim would berate them for fat shaming, the video would cause a worldwide firestorm of outrage that eventually drives Kramer to drop a cheap knockoff "Flat Screen" that is a 400lb CRT television into his apartment's hot tub to commit suicide. Oh, you mean an entire series of the finale
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Sep 16, 2016 17:08
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