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Blood for the Blood Kramer, skulls for the skull throne
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Sep 13, 2016 01:58
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But I don't wanna be a Tau!
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Sep 13, 2016 02:01
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This nanopaste is makin' me THIRSTY
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Sep 13, 2016 02:02
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Jerry: "What's the deal with all these flying skulls?" George: "Who doesn't like flying skulls?" Jerry: "They're so morbid. I feel like I'm living in a mausoleum."
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Sep 13, 2016 02:03
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Jerry encourages his Ork friend Babu to start a traditional Orkistani restaurant. It fails miserably. Babu: "You are a bery bery WAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH man!"
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Sep 13, 2016 02:05
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Jerry: I'm telling you 95% of the the life forms are heretics. George: Heretics? Jerry: HERETICS!
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Sep 13, 2016 02:06
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*Puts Thrones on table* "I'm out!!"
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Sep 13, 2016 02:06
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Kramer takes a tour of the palace of the Emperor of all Mankind. He wanders away from the tour group and stumbles upon the Golden Throne of the Emperor Himself. While gawking at it and taking photostats, he accidentally trips over the power cable for the Golden Throne's life support. While trying to put it back, he knocks the skeletal emperor off the throne. The desiccated corpse shatters into fragments. Kramer: "WhuUh oh"
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Sep 13, 2016 02:09
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He's Cute, but is he EXTERMINATUS worthy?
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Sep 13, 2016 02:09
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"Hello, Necron."
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Sep 13, 2016 02:09
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Battle brother Putty are you ready to attend the Emperor's sacred hockey arena and witness the New Jersey Devils, crush the pathetic Boston Bruins in martial combat? Battle Brother Putty: Sure babe.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:11
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George impersonates a Commissar to get respect, but his deception is exposed when he doesn't have the heart to perform a summary execution.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:11
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Idleness grows from heresy Jerry. FROM HERESY!
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Sep 13, 2016 02:13
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I love reading the fluff that goes with Seinfeld, but I've never actually played the game and lol at the nerdlingers who buy and paint all those little Seinfeld figurines. $5.00 for a one inch Newman, what a racket.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:14
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Hey rear end Man!
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Sep 13, 2016 02:14
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Elaine has to fly coach on a Gothic Fleet cruiser. A breach in the warp shields exposes her sector to the unfiltered maelstrom of the Warp and she goes insane, gouging out her eyes and vomiting blood on the other passengers. Meanwhile, Jerry, in the officer's quarters, is blissfully unaware of the pandemonium going on belowdecks.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:15
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VendaGoat posted:Idleness grows from heresy Jerry. FROM HERESY!
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Sep 13, 2016 02:16
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You know I always wanted to pretend I was an Inquisitor.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:17
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KRAMER: Somebody used the term "space marine" in a non-canon novella. You think we've got a case, Jackie? JACKIE: Like taking candy from a baby.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:18
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George's Imperial Guard unit is called up to defend the Segmentum Obscuris from the Thirteenth Black Crusade. He's nervous about going so he fakes an elbow twitch as an excuse to get out of it.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:19
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*Revs up chainsword* SERENITY NOW!
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Sep 13, 2016 02:21
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It's my luck, I don't talk to a soul on the space elevator for 35 years, I get the best man at an interplanetary wedding.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:23
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But I don't wanna be a rogue trader!
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Sep 13, 2016 02:25
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"Seinfeld, four!" but you are still hungry...
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Sep 13, 2016 02:28
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Kenny Rogers roasters created an economic bubble that never burst, giving the company world domination. The city, now bathed in a somber red glow, is now run by Kenny Rogers clones acting as a military police force. Jerry awakens, alone in his bed. His retinal iris opens to reveal his synchronized glowing red Kenny Rogers implant. He sits up, looks as though he is on the verge of writing a joke, but KR is overriding his neural humor pathways. Still, it seems there is a glimmer of humanity trying to break through his cold and distant interface. He ambulates begrudgingly to the local cafe, where cybernetic roosters serve roasted chicken 24/7. In walks Elaine, gears whirring and LEDs flashing, and she sits down without saying a word and devours an entire chicken like a vacuum cleaner, sucking the meat off the whole thing, and she leers at Jerry with a bitter longing for a response. The joke is on the tip of his tongue, but is overidden. He says it to himself over and over again, "what's the deal with prime directives?" 
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Sep 13, 2016 02:32
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George and Jerry are stranded at a docking bay and decide to get home by taking a freighter reserved under the name O'Brien by pretending to be him. The real O'Brien turns out to be an arch-heretic on his way to an underslum rally. After narrowly avoiding the Arbites, George thinks he has a chance with his cultist bodyguard after she says she'd take a bolter round for him. She said she'd look sir for me, Jerry! Not even my own parents would look out sir for me!
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Sep 13, 2016 02:35
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In the future, there will only be war, Jerry. WAR!
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Sep 13, 2016 02:39
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“She had powerfists.”
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Sep 13, 2016 02:41
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Newman, Kramer, if you'll indulge me. According to your story Keith passes you and starts walking up the ramp then you say you were struck on the right temple. The bolter round then proceeds to ricochet off the temple striking Newman between the third and forth rib. The bolt then came off the rib turned and hit Newman in the right wrist causing him to drop his baseball cap. The bolt then splashed off the wrist, Pauses In mid air mind you- makes a left turn and lands on Newman's left thigh. That is one magic bolt. Heresy.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:41
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I'm telling you george she always wears the same Power Armor. I saw pictures of her in campaigns 112 years ago on the fringeworlds, same Armor.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:41
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Jerry dates a Sister of Battle who is beautiful from some angles but hideous from others.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:43
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Jerry struggles to find a way to disassociate from known heretic Joel Horneck.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:44
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 Call the Techpreists, the dancing servitor is on the fritz.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:47
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“I think Whatley converted to Thorianism just for the jokes!”
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Sep 13, 2016 02:49
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Applewhite posted:Kramer takes a tour of the palace of the Emperor of all Mankind. He wanders away from the tour group and stumbles upon the Golden Throne of the Emperor Himself. While gawking at it and taking photostats, he accidentally trips over the power cable for the Golden Throne's life support. While trying to put it back, he knocks the skeletal emperor off the throne. The desiccated corpse shatters into fragments. This is the absolute best
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Sep 13, 2016 02:49
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I prepared this entire meal in the rejuvenate vats.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:51
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'It's an Exterminatus for the rest of us!'
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Sep 13, 2016 02:53
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Bert Roberge posted:'It's an Exterminatus for the rest of us!' Oh poo poo 
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Sep 13, 2016 02:53
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VendaGoat posted:I prepared this entire meal in the rejuvenate vats. Solice Kirsk posted:
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Sep 13, 2016 02:54
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 17:09 |
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Jerry begrudgingly fills in for Newman as a clerk at the Departmento Munitorum. The switch is discovered when too many guard regiments actually get the equipment they desperately requisitioned.
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Sep 13, 2016 02:58
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