Mercury_Storm posted:

A Japanese curry house even.

Imperialist Dog posted:

So I was browsing through my local library (Hong Kong libraries have a decent English section), and found a book called POW! by Mo Yan, who went on to win a Nobel Prize for Literature. I got through about 75 pages before I couldn't read any more. It's not bad, or boring per se; I can't go on because it is this thread and every China anecdote in novel form, and at least GBS-China threads have comedic value.

The protagonist lives in a village that prospers by selling fake meat, and beats up any inspectors who try to prove it. The men are chain-smokers who preach about Chinese cultural superiority while having multiple affairs, and money is a major theme. In one early scene, in order to cause the protagonist's father to lose face, the village head throws his payment on the ground in front of him while he is squat-smoking. The village head then pisses a mighty river, so much that all the renminbi notes are now floating in a puddle of urine. The father nonchalantly picks them out and wipes them in his trousers, in order to teach his son that money is money and acquiring it is good, no matter where it has been.

It is an excellent allegory for Chinese society, but for me I just felt "I can experience this just by crossing the border, why am I reading about it?" Seriously, if you took out the "retelling the story to a monk in an abandoned temple" part, you could easily place it in the nonfiction section as an autobiography. So check it out if you ever doubt the tales told in these threads.

Oh and a mainlander let their kid piss all over the floor of the train carriage on Friday. The usual pants down, I'll hold your legs for you stance.

Haier posted:

Closure: She was Mongolian and came riding in on her ebike like the hordes of her ancestors did when they rode across the world. It was fine except she thought biting was sexy and she bit my face and my dick. Other than that 10/10, would plunge 100 more times.

Jimmy Little Balls posted:

One of the gate guards for my neighbourhood is a bit crazy and over the top friendly, he is also really badly crosseyed. It's pretty busy here so when he sees someone and starts shouting hello and talking at them everyone stops and looks at each other trying to figure out who it is he's talking to, whilst people he has trapped in conversation before start running.

Jimmy Little Balls posted:

I know we make China sound bad but I think planning funerals is a bit extreme.

Jimmy Little Balls posted:

I don't know, since I got back after summer I havent seen anything noteworthy, things are far too civilized now and I'm getting bored.

Jimmy Little Balls posted:

If you know Northern China is poo poo and Southern China is ok why stay in the lovely place? I rarely have time to sit around at home, I know Grand Fromage complains about Chengdu sometimes but I think he lives out in the wastelands beyond third ring road?

Grand Fromage posted:

I live in the city near a subway station. I have some specific complaints about Chengdu but most things are just about China generally, I don't think they're any different in other places.

Boner Zone posted:

I'm just going to assume all of those wall stains are from thousands of squatting smokers putting their cigarettes out because the alternatives are quite terrifying imo

Grand Fromage posted:

I really think the "omg kids are all in their phones" thing is wildly overblown but man in China and Korea sometimes it seems so true. My students care vastly more about having their phone taken away for a day than literally not being able to go to college.

Scionix posted:

how do you not go fuckign insane living in china and never seeing the honest to god blue sky

Haier posted:

Here's a NSFW photo of an executioner during the Boxer Rebellion or something (probably got my facts wrong).
http://i.imgur.com/J374OpK.jpg

KomodoWagon posted:

I would wear this thing constantly if I had to go to China for some reason, even as I slept

JaucheCharly posted:

Your shots of farming in Japan are nice and beautiful. That panorama here is an urban hellscape.

LentThem posted:

Shanghai skies have been great lately.









And then I went to Beijing a couple of weeks ago.



Bonus road safety pics

oohhboy posted:

I am now reading Flying Upside down by Captain Duke Nukem nd ex-pat pilot. It is this thread but with Air planes and it is as horrifying as you can imagine it is. Flying planes is the last priority these people have. "Good enough", maintaining Face and looking good for the CCP override all safety concerns. Finding competence is like finding a Unicorn. I am only on page 21 and it is

When people here say don't fly Chinese airlines they are serious. Your safety is by the grace of God and your hopefully foreign Captain who is trying their best not to get killed.

Yorkshire Pudding posted:

Groups of Chinese tourists are taking pictures of me as I eat a hamburger at 8pm in a crowded metropolitan nightlife area in Japan.

Haier posted:

RIP the Mongolian.

She started deleting me from Wechat and asking for friend confirmation. I tried adding her again and she did and she said that this is what she does to guys she likes, seeing if they will add her again and can't be without her. I was like "WAT? That's childish as hell." Since she had my friend request in her friend section, she would say a bunch of poo poo and delete me so I couldn't reply, add me at will, say a bunch of poo poo, and then delete me. I told her to get hosed, so she blocked me. Then she unblocked me, told me I was a bad man for being divorced and that I abandoned my poo poo head of an ex-wife and it was all my fault or something. I double told her to get hosed, and she blocked me again.

She shows up unannounced at my house at midnight last night and barges in when I open the door (no peephole), and strips naked and gets into my bed and says she's super tired and needs sleep. I'm standing there chatting with my normal friends on my phone and sending video to them of crazy Mongolian girl in case things go really sour and I need evidence. They're laughing at me and telling me to build a wall around her. I tell her she can't do this and she should leave, and she says she'll go to the police and report me as a spy or that I am doing something illegal. I knew this would happen eventually. Thanks, Uncle Xi.

I've actually been sick these days, and I was in the process of brushing my teeth and getting ready to go to bed when she arrived, so I started crashing around and making tons of noise, turning on all my lights and doing whatever in my own house. She's sighing and trying to "sleep." She tells me to come to bed. I eat rice pudding and blow my nose loudly.

I know this is a battle I can't win, and I am running a fever and beginning to sweat profusely. I crawl into bed and pull the blanket over and she rolls over and touches and me and complains I am soaked in sweat. I told her she can sleep in her own bed if she doesn't like it and she loudly sighs and takes my hand and puts it on her brown Mongol titties. Even if I wanted to, I had zero energy to get it up, so I told her so and rolled over to sleep and try to break my fever. She jams her face into mine and told me she wants to kiss me and I was thinking I was going to get bit. She didn't bite me, but instead gave me this weird series of kisses on my face and shoulders and then complained I was salty from sweating like I ran a marathon.

Then she said this -
Her: "I came here because you told me not to. Anything you want me to do, I refuse to do it. Anything you don't want me to do, I will do it."
Me: "That's dumb. I don't like that."
Her: "I AM SORRY. DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY? WAIT A MOMENT. I WILL CRY."
Me: "You're stupid and immature, and you should listen to what people say and respect that."
Her: "I am the type of girl that if she says no, it always means YES."
Me: "What?"
Her: "I came here to torture you and bother you. I know you're sick. I thought it would be fun to see you angry."
Me: "For crying out loud..."
Her: "I am wet. You will gently caress me? I don't want you to gently caress me."
Me: "We're not having sex ever again."
Her: "I said don't gently caress me..."
Me: "I get it. You want me to rape you or something."
Her: "Yes."

Anyway, she actually fell asleep soon after and so did I and she woke me up like 500 times kissing my shoulder and then set her alarm for 06:30 and used Snooze until like 08:00. She also woke up at like 3am and took a huge dump for some reason and because she woke me up I had to pee and after I walked into Mongolian Genocide in the bathroom and cursed her ancestors.

She woke up, said nothing to me, got dressed, forced a hug on me, and left. I told her to never contact me again. I blocked her. She didn't come back tonight. I am sure she will try again, but I am not opening my door. LMAO.

Edit:
Screenshot from a Wechat video of her plugging her phone into her powerbank right after barging in. My lights were off and my USB charger thing was making my room glow blue.

Jimmy Little Balls posted:

Reasons my girlfriend is angry today:

She wanted to go for breakfast when I was still asleep, was woken up by being shouted at for being lazy. Got up and ready and had to wait 45 minutes for her to get ready, she changed shoes 11 times. She has 4 pairs of shoes.

She had a stomache ache and wanted to go to the TCM doctor, I told her there was nothing wrong with her and he would just tell her to drink more hot water, he told her there was nothing wrong with her and to drink more hot water.

I've hurt my knee and she wanted to spend the day walking round a crowded park, I am very selfish for not going to the park.

barbecue at the folks posted:

Vegetable posted:

Most of these gifs are staged its the big thing in China

Grand Fromage posted:

It helps when the government doesn't give a gently caress about the citizens and the citizens don't give a gently caress about anyone outside their immediate circle, and a healthy number of those only give a gently caress about their circle because they are resources to be exploited

Also when you have no long-term thinking so you don't care if it's unsustainable

Relin posted:

china lost 0-2 to uzbekistan. but i guess they arent totally out of the running for the world cup yet. this qualification system is confusing

Jeoh posted:

paging angel opportunity / the great autismo

Vegetable posted:

"Do butterfly wings have colours?"

fish and chips and dip posted:

Part of the secret of the Shanghai school system is to keep below average students away from taking the standardized tests which determine school quality/level like PISA.

Sheep-Goats posted:

There was a Chinese run pulled noodle place near my apartment in Queens which was in the middle of a minor Chinatown. Tons and tons of no-English FOB guys and girls there. The noodle place eventually relocated to a larger space but initially it was one table and a bar along the outside windows. I loved to eat there but there was always a chance someone would sit down who was so loving disgusting that I'd have to carry my noodles away to another seat. A lot of the time I'd be starting on my noodles and the prototypical Booger From Revenge Of The Nerds But Chinese would come in and go up to the counter and start screaming his order to the lady who was two feet away from him. It was like a race at that point to get my noodles eaten before he could sit down and loving ruin it.

One time I was in there eating and a ~24 year old guy was playing five second bursts of Justin Beiber videos at full volume to his gelled hair buddy and I made an overly loud comment about that being "girl music" to the girl I was in there with and he got super pissed -- he didn't do anything of course but he looked absolutely furious. Another time a 45 or so year old guy sat just to my right and started making sounds with his noodles like he was boiling ping pong balls and guacamole in his face somehow so I started imitating him and making pig sounds and he got pissed off too. I went in there knowing this poo poo was likely but sometimes it was just so egregious that I'd lose it.

Ceciltron posted:

It's the sound. The sound of eating drowns out anything but shouted conversation. Table manners where people don't talk with their mouths full or chew with their mouths open allows for much less noisy conversation and greater privacy in public.

Sheep-Goats posted:

No there is something wrong with it. It's how children eat if they don't know better. It shows a lack of either care for those around you or a lack of development in basic eating habits. I can put up with Japanese people dutifully slurping noodles but with Mainlanders it's full bore bodily process on display and amplified without concern for others. It's loving orcish and gross and it's not just with noodles. The lip smacking, tipping your head back so you can yell around the food in your mouth like some kind of deranged strangling crow, slurping loving coffee instead of drinking it, snot gargling &c goes way off the charts all the time and it's literally like eating next to loving pigs.


Are you serious?

You eat for a while. Then talk for a while. You do not talk at the exact moment your mouth is eating. This is something I was taught when I was six.

nerdz posted:

It's pretty low in my list of countries that I'd like to visit. Thai food is good but doesn't grab me and that's my main motivation to visit places.

ladron posted:

you know, man, eventually you get tired of the golden goose pecking you in the dick all the time and you flip out and kill it.


also please all china goons more stories like this they are like crack for me and I'm an old and don't reddit TT