Taiwan Number 1

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Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

BrigadierSensible posted:

But either way, with the police report, I have done the right thing, and the legal thing, and....

Lol, you're not in central europe.

# ¿ Jun 20, 2018 11:28

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 06:47

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Bajaj posted:

Tinder in Shenzhen -

If she is white:
Russian. So many Russians. They all teach yoga or dancing. Still give off a heavy prostitute vibe.
North American girls that teach English and half the photos are of them in bars or next to small kids.
Either really, really fat or anorexically skinny.
22+-year-olds that look 45+.
Super positive "I JUST ARRIVED TO CHINA, OMG, SO AMAZING" optimistic first-timers.
#wanderlust
#Crossfit
Is a tourist or backpacker that mistakenly thought China would be more "exotic" than Thailand or Bali.

If she is not white, and not Chinese:
Filipina nannies in Hong Kong.
Black girls from the US south that teach English, also have photos of them in bars.
Random Indians, usually from the UK.
Africans in wigs and "make up shotgun" style make up.

If she is Chinese:
99% are in Hong Kong, since I am so close to the border. They get angry at me for being on China side, like I am not allowed to use Tinder.
Went to university in the UK.
Lived in the UK or Australia.
Loves scuba and snowboarding. I've never seen more scuba fans in my life.
#wanderlust - "Travel is life" and then a list of countries or flag emojis where they visited.
#sapiosexual - "I want intellectual conversations and a man that can think" followed by a profile full of photos of her holding a cat.
#Crossfit for ones that don't look like they've ever tried exercise.
Photos of them in Japan and/or wearing a kimono.
Photos of them doing super duper expensive things or in obviously super expensive hotels and locations.
"I don't message first or respond to 'hello,' you should make some effort!"
"I want serious relationships only, no chatting!" followed by a list of rare traits they demand in a guy.

If she is the rare Chinese in Shenzhen:
Speaks English but is confused by Tinder, and doesn't trust anything because of scammers.
Probably studied or worked abroad and now is sad to be back in China and wants to make foreign "friends."
Profile just says "I am in Shenzhen" and nothing else.
Cats. So many cats.
Photos of something with a stylish Chinese sentence in the middle.

So far I have matched with angry HK girls that want white boyfriends but don't trust any white people. Russians that are really hippy-dippy and passing by. Super-obvious white guy chasers that live and die in foreigner bars. An Indian girl that wouldn't answer a single question about herself. An American that added my Wechat but only replies once per day for 5 minutes at a time, and disappears the rest of the time. A few Shenzhen women that are looking for husbands.

Tantan is still full of spam bots, but the new updates are so full of bugs for me that half the time it locates me 1000km from where I am. Apparently I am popular in Xinjiang. They reduced the number of daily swipes from 500 down to 120, and offer paid upgrades similar to Tinder, but these are only available to Chinese accounts and I guess paid through Wechat. With Tantan being about 80% bots, 120 swipes means getting a match is rare.

I'm trying, guys. Give me some time so I can make more more follies and blunders in my personal life.

A good post

# ¿ Jun 23, 2018 08:18

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

McGavin posted:

Thanks for the link! Oh hey, what's this on the side?

Taiwanese blogger posts steamy images of nude wife, reveals she's his cousin

I don't know if you ever did the math behind human ancestry, but cousinfucking is a mainstay of it, only up until quite recently. There's quite literally tens of thousands years of that. Lol.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2018 08:07

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Bajaj posted:

Guy with a Caesar haircut is surprised someone wants to stab him.

"Dam, son"

p.888 extremely lucky

# ¿ Jun 29, 2018 08:34

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Bajaj posted:

The police just contacted Chaoshan Girl. They demanded to see my passport, because I don't show up in any records as having arrived here or being registered. I looked at my registration paper and saw all the information is exact and correct. I told her to ask them what was wrong. They sent her a photo of my record in their computer. My name is hilariously spelled wrong, and they are using the wrong passport number, and now pointing fingers at me like I am illegal here.
I mention the errors and send a photo of my registration papers, with the correct information. A few minutes later CG gets "Ok, there was no problem. Nevermind."

Face lost, face saved.

You know, they'll show up at your door and will act as if that never happened and you're still very maximum illegal. "I hope you like pain."

# ¿ Jul 2, 2018 08:05

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Why would you get married in Prague? Oo

Is there a story behind that?

# ¿ Jul 3, 2018 12:43

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I almost died in France once by drunkenly jumping off a wall that I thought was not a barrier over a steep hill. It was. I think this is totally France's fault.

*Mimes* "Mais, non"

# ¿ Jul 4, 2018 16:09

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

157 new posts. Probably something interesting going on? Nope.

Hey, apparently there's a mounted archery group in Shenzhen.

# ¿ Jul 6, 2018 08:22

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I've never seen so many fragile egos attempt to mark their territories and end up pissing themselves.

Much like the power of the elves in the late third age, the shitposting in here is but a faint echo of times gone by.

# ¿ Jul 6, 2018 13:32

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

TGA seems like a classy guy, and I'd have a beer with him in Japan.

# ¿ Jul 6, 2018 22:44

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Holy poo poo, I just remembered that Trump is president and tradewars are easy to win

# ¿ Jul 6, 2018 22:46

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

CIGNX posted:

Apparently Koreans have been aware of this rage long enough to theorize it may be a culture-bound syndrome.

Sounds like they make it a really miserable place for no good reason.

# ¿ Jul 10, 2018 11:31

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

caberham posted:

My father in law

Sch�n.

# ¿ Jul 10, 2018 14:22

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Coolguye posted:

if you're willing to NOT live up to your username, give it CBD (chabuduo)

Good

CIGNX posted:

CNM

China Mainland (Cao Ni Ma)

Better

# ¿ Jul 12, 2018 06:00

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Bajaj posted:

CG told me she was reading an article yesterday about Thailand, since Thailand has been in the news lately. The author said Thailand has become arrogant now that Chinese tourist have made the country develop so much*, and Thailand needs a lesson or something. The person wrote that Thai people are extremely rude to Chinese tourists, and need to be more humble because Chinese people pay for their lives. It was a big shame for Thai people to be so arrogant and awful without respecting the true source of Thailand's wealth and popularity. It was basically saying the servants need to respect the masters.

*Mainland Chinese tourism provides around 30% of tourist money out of worldwide tourism to Thailand (which, if i recall, tourism only accounts for like 5% of Thailand's yearly income). For decades, people around the world have been going to Thailand just fine, and there was never mention of having to build separate toilets for them anywhere.

LOOOOL

Somebody though he could haggle with the ladyboys after using their services and got beaten up. Now the gentleman writes butthurt articles.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2018 08:36

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Bajaj posted:

I WAS OUT WALKING AND LOOK WHO I FUCKIN' SAW

The unnamed painter can only salivate.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2018 10:05

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

caberham posted:

Hair posts hilarious stories from time to time but remember

This guy�s life isn�t really put together and he�s good at getting himself into silly situations.

But I�m going to New Delhi in a month

RIP

# ¿ Jul 14, 2018 16:04

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

BrainDance posted:

They're probably explosive when they show up dead too.

I'm not ordering live animals, for the record. Friend tried to buy a squirrel and they kept shipping boxes of squirrels to him. Told him to always just take a video of opening it because if he could prove it was dead on arrival they'd ship out another for free. It took so many tries before he got a live one, and the unboxings were nasty. They ship it with a little thing of food and that's basically it.

When he finally got a live one it suicided out his window