Taiwan Number 1

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Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

The mysterious part to me is both my parents and the vet are white, American.

# ¿ Dec 20, 2016 10:37

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 17:09

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Blistex posted:

as there is this perception (not sure how true it is) that mixed Asian boys seem to have a bad track record with fitting in.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 11:58

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

So Khan, are ya Chinese or Japanese?

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 13:58

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Chinese cannot get AIDS.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2016 19:29

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Doctor Dogballs posted:

welcome to all rap music anywhere ever

Ben Shapiro, is that you?

# ¿ Jan 1, 2017 08:14

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Yeah but who pays for the groper club is what I wanna know.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2017 01:11

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

What's that Chinese brand where they just threw a bunch of english letters together and it wound up being unpronounceable, like fgsddls or something like that?

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 22:11

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Biem.l.flddk

Just rolls off the tongue.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2017 00:20

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Invisible Handjob posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7icXyMC43M

he's got a lot more and they're even funnier

"gently caress all people" -Chinese man

# ¿ Jan 14, 2017 19:53

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

China will develop astronaut pens by 2020.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2017 09:06

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTSQozWP-rM

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 03:18

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Imperialist Dog posted:

What does Fojar mean anyway? What is the significance of 38?

Fo= shortened form of "fourteen"
Jar= old timey word for fifty
Fourteen "jars" plus 38 =1488

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 16:30

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Gorilla Salad posted:

I need to thank you for this word.

I have a Chinese colleague who is always sending out emails complaining about staff half-assing their work, when it's always the most trivial poo poo and he endlessly goes on about how, in his culture, they pride themselves on doing their work perfectly.

So I snuck 'chabuduo' into an email back to him and he's now stopped sending emails to my entire department.

I am so happy about this I cannot describe it.

Should have sent the entire story of Mr. Cha Buduo

quote:

The Story of Mr. Cha Buduo

Do you know who the most famous person in China is?

When you mention him, everybody knows instantly who you're talking about because of his fame. His family name is Cha, and his given name is Buduo, and he lives in every village of every county of every province. You have certainly seen him at some point and heard others discussing him. Mr. Cha Buduo is on everyone's lips all the time because he represents each and every individual in China.

Mr. Cha Buduo looks, well, more or less like you or I do. He has two eyes, though he doesn't see particularly well; two ears, though he doesn't hear very clearly; and a nose and a mouth, though he isn't vary discerning about scents and tastes. He has quite a brain on him, too, though his memory isn't very attentive and his thoughts aren't well organized.

"'Close enough' is quite enough in all matters," he often says. "What need is there for attentiveness?"

When Mr. Cha was a boy, his mother once sent him out to buy some brown sugar. She scolded him when he came home with white sugar instead, but he just dismissed it with a shake of the head, saying: "Brown sugar and white sugar are basically the same thing."

When he was in school, a teacher once asked: "Which province is located west of Zhili?"

"Shaanxi," Mr. Cha answered, to which his teacher said: "Incorrect. It's Shanxi, not Shaanxi." Mr. Cha responded: "Shanxi, Shaanxi; they're basically the same thing."

Mr. Cha Buduo later made his living working at a bank. He was capable both with a pen and calculator, but he was never precise. He often miswrote 10s as 100s and viceversa, and every time he faced the wrath of his employer, he would laugh it off and say to himself: "It's just a difference of a zero; close enough!"

One day, he had to catch a train to Shanghai for an urgent matter of business. After casually making his way to the train station, he found himself two minutes late and missed his train. Staring vacantly at the smoke bellowing from the now distant locomotive, he shrugged it off: "Well I guess I've got to go tomorrow. Today, tomorrow, it's all the same, more or less. But boy that train operator takes time way too seriously. 8:30, 8:32, it's all the same! More or less."

He blabbered to himself as he slowly made his way home, wondering out loud why the train did not wait those two extra minutes for him.

Later in his life, he came down with a sudden illness. He instructed his family to call over Dr. Wāng from East Street. They ran with haste but couldn't immediately find any Dr. Wāng on East Street, so they instead found Dr. W�ng, a veterinarian specializing in cattle, from West Street. From his sickbed, Mr. Cha Buduo knew they had brought back the wrong doctor, but he was gravely ill and in great pain and could not wait any longer. "It's a good thing that Dr. W�ng and Dr. Wāng are basically no different from each other," he mused to himself. "Let's let him have a look." And so the vet approached the bed and used his knowledge of treating cattle to heal Mr. Cha. The sick man was on the verge of death within the hour.

As Mr. Cha was more-or-less dying, he heaved difficultly as he spit out his final words: "Life and death... they're... practically the same... Close enough... is quite... enough... What need... for being... so... serious...?" And thus was his last breath.

After he had passed, Mr. Cha Buduo was remembered fondly for his insight and ability to think through problems. He was called a man of great virtue for never taking things seriously, never "settling the score," and never being petty, and he earned the posthumous Buddhist title "Master of Flexibility."

His fame spread further and wider as more and more people learned from his example. And that is how everyone in China became a Mr. Cha Buduo -- and how China became known worldwide as a country of lazy people.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2017 06:52

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Imperialist Dog posted:

Exactly, we need to grow the local goon army

Anyway I am sitting on the couch now. Why? Because the morning went like this:

Me: *looks outside* Hey it's a beautiful day! Kids, get dressed, let's go outside!
Wife: No, my mom is making lunch, what if they spill food on themselves?
Me: They're 4 and 6 years old!
Wife: ... ?

an hour later ...

Me: Ok kids, let's get dressed so we can play outside and come back when your grandmother finishes making lunch
Kid 1: nonononono
Kid 2: I will only go out if Kid 1 goes out.
Wife: They don't want to go out. Here, practice this English poem for school.

AN HOUR LATER

Me: GET DRESSED KIDS. LET'S GO OUTSIDE.
Wife: Can you not let them run around? We have a birthday party at 4pm. I don't want them to be tired when we go out.
Me: It's 11am!!!
Wife: ... ?

So now it's almost noon, kids are still in pyjamas, and I'm waiting for the lunch to be served so I can take the kids out of the goddamn apartment so we can enjoy the sunshine, sort-of fresh air (pollution index is Orange today, sigh, but at least we can see blue sky, not like last week). I simply do not understand why getting the kids out of the house is such a bloody chore.

Your kids are goons. It's a genetic trait.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2017 05:09

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Imperialist Dog posted:

It's now 12:30 and no lunch yet. Apparently wife and mother-in-law agreed that they would have stir-fried niangao (new year rice cakes) which takes ten minutes, but later said because wife wasn't "enthusiastic enough" she decided to do the usual 5 dishes Chinese meal, so she's still chopping vegetables. It has now been almost three hours since I initially tried taking the kids out.

***

Ok now it's almost 1pm, the food came out and we ate. As we finished and I got the kids' stuff ready like heavy winter coats ("But it's blazing sun out and the kids are going to run around the playground, we don't need it." "It's winter."), my wife reminded me that Kid 1 has not made a birthday card for the party this afternoon. So the whole morning when Kid 1 was playing around, doing math exercises etc while wife was watching Chinese comedy talk shows on the computer, it never occurred to her that we should do necessary things first and fun but unnecessary things second.

Truly I live in the most Chinese of households!

Divorce.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2017 06:03

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

https://twitter.com/willmenaker/status/830464093127585792

# ¿ Feb 12, 2017 05:47

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

The Lecher Levon Wei

# ¿ Feb 17, 2017 21:29

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

13 pounds of horse genitals concealed in [Mongolian] woman's luggage; claimed it was for medicinal purposes

# ¿ Feb 18, 2017 02:16

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

simplefish posted:

My Chinese "name" is 地佬 (ground man) for convoluted dull reasons, but most people just use my English name because I don't live in Bumfuck Henaaaan

That's a megaman character.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2017 07:35

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

oohhboy posted:

I will post something later, I have better things to do like jet lag and other non-posting stuff.

Post the loving suit.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2017 03:57

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Imperialist Dog posted:

Today was Open Day at my older son's kindergarten. Each room has a theme, like paper crafts, play-do, the usual. There was also a "world food" room, with the "America" booth selling hot dogs.

You can be sure they just typed "america hot dog sign" into Google and picked one that looked the part without reading too closely.

The Wiener's Circle is a famous Chicago hot dog place where the staff is super rude and insults you.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2017 04:10

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Both The Witcher 3 and Demon's Souls are incredible, but we all know Morrowind is the true China video game.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2017 09:42

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

He's saying piss.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2017 09:32

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Nucleic Acids posted:

I'm honestly surprised he'd ever draw "China" in an even vaguely flattering way.

You gotta gimme the fangs.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2017 04:03

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Folks, they're taking Filipino soil, and making these fake islands out of them. The Phillippines are getting ripped off! It's sad! These islands aren't even that great. Now, I have built some terrific islands over the years, people tell me, they say I have the best islands, and these islands just aren't up to snuff. Over in CHINA, they spend all this time yelling at people to get away from these islands, but I don't see why, they shouldn't have anyone wanting to come visit.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2017 08:49

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Just lost so much face.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2017 09:31

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Bardeh posted:

Clicking that reddit link led me to r/hapas - is going on in that subreddit? It looks like a bunch of half Asian guys who absolutely hate themselves and resent their parents for ever having given birth to them?

Why are you so confused, that's exactly what it is.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2017 09:43

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

# ¿ May 10, 2017 01:45

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

If you guys dont stop posting traditional chinese beauties Renee Chang is gonna register an account.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 21:17

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

https://twitter.com/bobby/status/876156785815695363

# ¿ Jun 17, 2017 20:53

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Dream big.

# ¿ Jul 3, 2017 05:17

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Can someone link the Levon Wei post of a young man enjoying his day on the Chinese Diaoyu islands when an elder accosts him to tell him of a very old country called "america" that once did china a great favor by nuking japan and then he has to go play dota.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2017 04:57

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Sounds like a smart plan to me.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2017 22:05

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

http://blog.lareviewofbooks.org/chinablog/class-china-became-politically-incorrect/

quote:

Research by the University of Sydney�s David Goodman has found that around 84% of [China]�s elite are direct descendants of the elite from pre-1949. This suggests that six decades of Communism may not have a dramatic impact upon the elites, who have the advantage of decades of capital accumulation � including economic, cultural and social capital � which have apparently continued to benefit them under the party-state system.

You may read that quote and think "wow, Deng really hosed up huh?" but actually you're wrong: