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Love Crime
Apr 4, 2016
My comcast horror story, told in eloquent broad strokes

I was paying $100 for a 75Mb down / 10Mb up but I was only getting less than 25mb down, so I thought well this is unfortunate but whatever, until one day I logged into the router to see they had my line throttled to 25mb, meaning it didn't matter what my neighbors were doing or any of the other poo poo that can lower your speeds, I was never, ever going to get higher than 25mb.

So I call customer support and tell them the problem and every single agent kept telling me "Sir we don't guarantee speeds, it says up to 75 so you can get lower" and I was practically yelling at them at that point "I understand what you're saying, you're not understanding what I'm saying, my speed will never go past 25 no matter what because you have it designated as 25". After a half dozen agents kept telling me the same poo poo over two weeks one of them finally thought "hey maybe we should test this guy's line and see what's going on" and voila, there was something wrong with the outdoor line and after it was fixed I now get 81mb down, so Internet Jesus clearly shined his light down upon me and gave me the 6mb extra as a personal gently caress you to comcast.

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