Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Good books of the Old Testament, rated by me

Lamentations, Ecclesiastes, Job, Psalms, Judges, Ruth, Isaiah, Daniel, Jeremiah

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 06:27

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 10, 2024 09:15

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Thirteen Orphans posted:

Do Orthodox call it that? That's what my grandfather called it, so did that just not get translated when you converted? (It took me forever not to call Augustine "ah-gus-TEEN" thanks to the Bob Dylan song.)

It's what protestants call it

It'll be song of Solomon forever to me

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 06:36

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Lutha Mahtin posted:

"heh so i went and studied for years and years, right? then i applied this knowledge to the world and cuck cuck DEATH IS CERTAIN lmao"

this is basically the conclusion of ecclesiastes chapter 1

I once went to a church and the pastor preached out of Ecclesiastes

His sermon was basically life sucks and you will be in pain your whole life. You deserve this pain and the only solace you have is to pray for death

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 06:38

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

It was that preacher's last day at the church and this was his way of telling everyone there to go gently caress themselves

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 06:47

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

HopperUK posted:

My Bible readthrough is finally out of Leviticus. And it was interesting but I still got bogged down. Holy crap I'm glad to be approaching the bits with talking donkeys and stuff.

once you get past numbers it picks up

Smoking Crow fucked around with this message at 17:16 on Nov 5, 2016

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 17:13

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Japanese was easier than French or Latin for me because I accepted that it was really hard and I would probably fail a lot at the beginning instead of getting angry for messing up an easy language

# ¿ Nov 6, 2016 22:31

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Japanese has no cases tho

I'm the rare person who doesn't have problems with kanji. For whatever reason, it's easy for my brain to parse systematic images into meanings into sounds

# ¿ Nov 6, 2016 23:21

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

You declare your faith in Jesus Christ in prayer, this is being saved

Doctrine doesn't supersede personal faith

# ¿ Nov 8, 2016 01:25

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Lutha Mahtin posted:

I think Jaramin just worded their post a bit loosely. My understanding of how most churches do believer baptism is that you have to sit down with a pastor and have a chat first. It's not like you can just waltz in to a random Baptist church on Sunday, put on the wetsuit, and get dunked with no questions asked. It isn't as big of a process as Confirmation, but there are still some guidelines and rules to be followed.

At the evangelical churches I've been to, baptism is non-essential, it's accepting Jesus into your heart that actually matters

I remember hearing a sermon about a woman who had been baptized and worked very hard in ministry but was still not a true Christian because she hadn't gone down Romans Road

# ¿ Nov 8, 2016 03:27

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

"Love thy neighbor as thy love thyself." The Lord said there is no greater commandment than this, along with love God with all your heart, soul and mind. Remember this. Christ said he did not come into this world to save the virtuous, but to save sinners; whether you're overjoyed that Trump will Make America Great Again and angry at liberals for America losing its greatness, or whether you're horrified of what this perceived "greatness" was, remember this.

"And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these."

# ¿ Nov 9, 2016 11:43

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

I'm going to fix this

# ¿ Nov 10, 2016 00:15

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Mr Enderby posted:

Goongratulations. Of course you're just jumping out of the frying-pan into the garbage fire.

Please don't. Based on what happened to Hegel, I'm worried Orthodox prayers work on Monkey's Paw rules.

I'm a straight white Christian man, I have double prayer point score in America

# ¿ Nov 10, 2016 18:11

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

However, sacrificing yourself to save others is ok

# ¿ Nov 11, 2016 21:51

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

What problems will arguing on the internet solve

# ¿ Nov 11, 2016 22:21

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Pellisworth posted:

Hi mom! No seriously, my mom is about your age and I mean that with all the respect I have for her. I think it's a cultural universal that you hate your parents in your teens but hit your mid-twenties and look back thinking "yeah, my parents were totally loving right about most everything."

I was the opposite

And no, cultures where teens are expected to live inside of a large extended family and not leave and strike out on your own have harmonious teen years

# ¿ Nov 15, 2016 03:55

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Y'all are weird

# ¿ Nov 15, 2016 16:49

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

S my D

# ¿ Nov 22, 2016 03:41

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

you can follow jewish customs and be christian it's whatever

# ¿ Nov 23, 2016 01:53

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Ceciltron posted:

It's just real weird more like.

I don't mind, but I'm not a jew

My Jewish friend gets mad at them

# ¿ Nov 23, 2016 02:54

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Pellisworth posted:

The basic assumption of astrology is that your birth date dictates or suggests your personality and the outcomes of your actions. Based on the timing of your birth, you should or shouldn't do a thing on a certain date.

I would reject astrology on the basis that your birth date and related alignment of stars/planets means jack poo poo and should not be assigned any authority or predictive ability within a Christian context. Or a scientific context, in which it's even more absurd.

I can see from a panentheist (God is synonymous with the material universe and more) perspective how astrology might seem attractive. If God ordered the universe, and is essentially co-existent with everything in the universe, then the ordering of stars and planets might be relevant to us.

To me, that denies the agency of both God and our own selves in our lives. It seems easy to follow that down the rabbit hole into some sort of Calvinist-esque predestination where the stars and planets determine your life.

I have Strong Opinions on how science and religion relate, but this seems a really obvious example of where tradition is dumb and wrong but perhaps insightful. Much like going to a psychic and having your tarot/palm read might lead you to some beneficial introspection, astrology might also point your thinking in new ways and toward important aspects of your life you've been neglecting. That doesn't make it predictive or useful but hey if you enjoy having the chiropractor crack your back, go nuts. Placebo is better than nothing.

e: astrology is cool historically but extremely stupid in a modern context. My 2c.

I would propose this counterargument: how is astrology different than consulting your neighborhood psychic or tarot card reader?

It isn't. It's all bullshit handwaving, you might gain some good introspection out of it but it's still garbage nonsense.

e2: astrology is worthless but your personal reaction and how you process astrological readings could be important

Tarot is in Persona so it has to be good

# ¿ Nov 25, 2016 23:36

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

OwlFancier posted:

What does he think life is for if not for living with intent to do good?

Probably make your own meaning

Which has nothing to do with good or evil

# ¿ Nov 25, 2016 23:36

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Pellisworth posted:

ummm but how many ecumenical councils has Persona attended??

You can summon angels, so all of them

# ¿ Nov 25, 2016 23:43

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Pellisworth posted:

can you also summon demons

they seem like they'd be a lot more useful for getting poo poo done

angels would probably want union representation, non-discrimination and equal rights etc, pfft

You can summon every religious and mythological creature

You can have a party of Belial, Mothman, Raphael, Rangda, Ghost Rider and Susano-o if you want

# ¿ Nov 26, 2016 00:03

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Mo Tzu posted:

can amida and the medicine buddha join, because if not then a mobile game has better buddha tech and they're all 美少女, if you know what i mean

I know Amida is there but im not sure about medicine buddha

All of the summon designs were done by a guy in like 96 and they haven't changed yet and he has a very mechanical, weird, dead eyed style

# ¿ Nov 26, 2016 00:16

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Mo Tzu posted:

i had no idea how difficult it was to search specific summons in persona but it is

maybe i should have tried playing one of these 200 hour rpgs. but like that's just... that's just too much reading you know. maybe i'd do it in japanese when i get good enough, you know as practice, but for now just... god

Just check the megami tensei wiki http://megamitensei.wikia.com/wiki/Megami_Tensei_Wiki and go down to the demons section

Persona 5 just came out, so right now is the time to play it in Japanese. It doesn't come out in English for another 4 months tho :/

# ¿ Nov 26, 2016 01:37

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

The Council of Nicea did not pick the books of the Bible

The Council of Nicea did not pick the books of the Bible

# ¿ Nov 29, 2016 03:10

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Mo Tzu posted:

sure and next you'll tell me santa claus didn't smack a bitch for being an arian

That's true actually

# ¿ Nov 29, 2016 03:13

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

SirPhoebos posted:

And what is that?

Go and make disciples of all nations

# ¿ Nov 30, 2016 00:37

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

God created logic in the same way He created the Hunger Games

# ¿ Nov 30, 2016 22:43

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

SirPhoebos posted:

So how come there aren't any contemporary writings on Jesus' life? I may be overestimating the prevalence of literacy in the early Roman Empire, but I find it odd that none of His followers ever thought "hey maybe we should write some of these things down."

His followers were pretty sure the world was going to end in their lifetimes, so they didn't bother

Probably

# ¿ Nov 30, 2016 22:49

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

thechosenone posted:

Wait what? poo poo that's pretty cool. I's it alright if I ask stupid questions like what saint or apostle would be most likely to be able to go super Saiyan? I just like connecting things to other things, I'm the kind of person who would love to hear metaphors extended well beyond their welcome.

Please direct all anime metaphors to me

Patrick would go ssj

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 04:05

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

thechosenone posted:

Yeah, I'll definitely keep those in mind.

so like how do power levels go in christianity? Like, is it bishop->archbiship->cardinal->pope->saint->apostle->apostle(peter)/Mary-angels->Jesus/god/holyspirit?

Angels are lower on the totem pole than humans

Also that's Catholic rankings, other denominations have different hierarchies

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 04:10

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Remember, all power comes from faith

We could all be saints, even if we don't get our pictures up in the wall

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 04:11

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Angels have powers but God likes us the best

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 04:16

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

poo poo I'm blanking on the guy who said the entirety of creation was to get to Mary

Pretended I said he said otherwise

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 04:19

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Can you recommend any good books on the history of Mesoamerica? ::bambi eyes::

Malinche's Conquest and The Broken Spears are very good but only cover the conquest and shortly after

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 12:08

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Wormwood is a satellite

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 01:29

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Lamentations is underrated imo

Quote this if you agree

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 02:24

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

I heard Nikolai Nikolai in English today and man, it isn't very good

Don't sing that song in English please

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 01:42

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 10, 2024 09:15

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

Josef bugman posted:

And this surely won't end with the bishops getting power to decide what's best for people to read or not read.

please dont start this

# ¿ Dec 9, 2016 00:46

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

«‹›6 »