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Slime
Jan 3, 2007

Jeza posted:

Important present I ordered for Christmas was due to arrive by tracked courier. Their system was busted so I had no idea when it was coming, it said it was on delivery 156 all day and I was number 160. So I wasted my day waiting at home (for several parcels), none of which arrived before 8pm. Finally the system updates at 9pm to say that it had been safely delivered and signed for by me, when in fact there has been zero attempt to even deliver it.

Now there's no chance I'll get it in time, and as a bonus I may not even get my money back because it has been signed for in my name which either means the driver has delivered it to the wrong address and forged the signature or just taken it for themselves or something.

Merry Christmas! :thumbsup:

There's basically no way those signatures stand up in a small claims court, especially if they're done on this lovely touchpads that are always scratched to all hell and barely have room for a tiny signature. If you don't get your packages/money, bitch up a storm.

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Slime
Jan 3, 2007

C-Euro posted:

Vacation update: my wife and my mom both blew up on me tonight because my wife wanted everyone to get in our shuttle van to go back to the hotel on schedule after a night of bar-hopping, while my mother wanted a couple minutes for people to run and get beer for watching football tomorrow morning. Then my mother had the nerve to tell me to grow a pair before telling me how I should treat my wife, while my wife wants to bail on the remainder of the trip because her grandpa was suddenly hospitalized and she's upset about not being there.

Both of them told me at the end of the night (separately) how sorry they were that I couldn't enjoy my vacation. Motherfuckers you are why I can't enjoy it!

your wife actually has a legit reason to bail and she should probably go visit her grandpa

also grow a pair and tell your mom to shove it

Slime
Jan 3, 2007

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

i've laid giant bum eggs 10+ times in the last 24 hours for no reason and my hole is suffering

is that how the homeless reproduce? they lay eggs in you?

Slime
Jan 3, 2007
just use your beard and moustache to absorb snot

Slime
Jan 3, 2007

MisterBibs posted:

Debated posting this in FWP, but it's more of a complaint:

This dude next to me at the bar just gave me a three minute screed about why I shouldn't ask someone you don't know (aka him) to watch their phone (like, mine) for a second because it's incredibly rude and he was just about to leave and why I couldn't just put my phone in my pocket instead of :words: :words: :words:

Man, I thought I lost my car keys, was in a "I just lost my loving keys" mode, and needed to walk two feet to see if they were on a table I was at. You're under the eyes of a bartender, and the phone was plugged in underneath their side of the bar.

if it's plugged in on the other side of the bar under the eyes of the bartender why did you ask the guy to watch your phone

Slime
Jan 3, 2007

MisterBibs posted:

Force of habit and mildly panicking over potentially losing my keys.

I wasn't looking for a personal commitment from the guy, just an eyeball for a drat moment. Especially since the guy spent more time there than I ultimately did.

You're right he shouldn't have taken your time for that long

a simple "nah" would have sufficed

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Slime
Jan 3, 2007

Thin Privilege posted:

If your piss or poo poo is bright red it’s very serious and you HAVE to go to a doctor.

If it’s just diarrhea just take some pesto bismol.

If it's bright red then it's probably rear end in a top hat problems. Now black shits, that means internal bleeding and then you're in trouble.

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