We've all been there - grandma's room - The Something Awful Forums

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criscodisco: do it

canpakes posted:

Merciful Christ. Not only is this profane but it violates rule 1

No because he wasn't my grandpa

# ? Sep 20, 2016 21:14

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# ? May 4, 2024 10:35

Mycroft Holmes: by Azathoth

8 track betamax posted:

I'll be honest here and say that I am reeling from "criscodisco"s post.......

that is the typical reaction to criscodisco, yes.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 21:14

penus penus penus: by piss__donald

she did. now shes in a home OP. I had to pack all that poo poo like 3 times

# ? Sep 20, 2016 21:16

HJE-Cobra: Bear Witness

GRANDMA'S HOUSE

code:

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| (_| | | | (_| | | | | (_| | | | | | | (_| \__ \ | | | | (_) | |_| \__ \  __/
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~*~*~* THE GAME *~*~*~

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
table of contents
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[ 1] INTRODUCTION
1.1 How best to view this FAQ
1.2 Submitting Info
1.3 Spoiler Disclaimer
1.4 Copyright Information

[ 2] GENERAL INFORMATION
2.1 Welcome to Grandma's House!
...

HJE-Cobra fucked around with this message at 21:23 on Sep 20, 2016

# ? Sep 20, 2016 21:19

criscodisco: do it

Why is there a floozy upstairs

# ? Sep 20, 2016 21:21

HJE-Cobra: Bear Witness

criscodisco posted:

Why is there a floozy upstairs

Hey man, if your grandma had floozies in her house, wouldn't you go visit more often?

EDIT:

# ? Sep 20, 2016 21:45

mind the walrus

8 track betamax posted:

why did you not know what your grandpaernets looked like

They had smiles instead of bitter anger and resignation. You know those moths where their wings have a pattern on the back to make them look like a predator to dissuade attacks? It was nothing like that.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 21:56

a star war betamax: by Lowtax

HJE-Cobra posted:

Hey man, if your grandma had floozies in her house, wouldn't you go visit more often?

EDIT:

ADDED TO HELP OF FAME

# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:00

Infidel Castro: Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice

My grandma was a borderline hoarder. It was probably a symptom of growing up during the depression in rural Wisconsin, but pretty much any major purchase she ever made would eventually find its way into the basement. By the time she died, she had at least five TVs going back to the 1960s, four Christmas trees, a weight bench, and basically every toy my dad and his siblings had as a kid just to name a few things. The real shame was there was a really nice bar down there that never got used because of all the poo poo piled up down there.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:03

jeff smisek

My gram is dope as heck and plays like 6 diff instruments and tours with a bluegrass bands. she is also like 88 and smokes at least two packs a day her whole life and paints cool poo poo on rocks like flowers and birdhouses

# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:28

Booblord Zagats

My grandmother's home was the old plantation house the family had had since the early 1800s. The Gazebo was where the house slaves used to live, but they tore it down and built a gazebo with a BBQ pit attached. The old field slave quarters were eventually turned in to the shed they retrofit to cover the gas tanks (both natural for the house and gasoline for the combines and tractors). The house was only ever cold a few weeks a year, what with being in the swamp, so those months she'd make grampa set up the coal heater in the cellar or we'd never be further than 50ft from a stove or fireplace.

Whole place smelled like cow peas, pigeon peas and fried pork chops in the summer, and burning cedar, grampa's pipe and a hint of beef and veggie stew or dumplings in the winter. Her TV was a from 1971 with a giant magnifying screen in front of it so she could watch Price is Right and the news without her glasses. I remember when my dad got them a new living room set for their 40th anniversary in 88, they went from a very classical looking but uncomfortable set from the 50s to a really plush but incredibly 80s couch set with a Lazy Boy. They were both afraid to actually recline the recliner for some reason.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 22:46

Barnes And Body Works

my grandma gave me orange soda once, it was fuckin slick.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 23:41

Alan Smithee: A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ai1VazeM7EE

# ? Sep 20, 2016 23:47

dentist toy box: There's a haint in the foothills of NC; the haint of the #3 chevy. The rich have formed a holy alliance to exorcise it but they'll never fucking catch him.

My grandma has a spare bedroom full of junk she's acumulated over 90 years. It's pretty neat but you can't get in it. Her basement is also creepy.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 23:49

EvilJoven: NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?

In my grandmas room there was this picture where when you looked at it from one angle it was Jesus and from another angle it was the last supper with a gigantic obviously cheap plastic frame with gold paint.

It was quite possibly the tackiest thing in the known universe.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 23:56

Farg

my grandfather had a bunch of collectible tooth pick thingies, like basically metal toothpicks in the shape of different swords. they were really cool.

# ? Sep 21, 2016 00:02

root of all eval

My grandma had 13 children and still has everyone over for Thanksgiving. She has over 100 living offspring at this point and the house usually holds about 45-50 that night. This includes a foreign exchange family she housed in the 90s.

Her house has a 'secret' staircase in the back which is just a fun way of saying incredibly dangerous non-code staircase with slick wooden planks. He house smells of lotion. You know the smell. Her room is pristine but in that tragically unlived in sense. She had to move downstairs last year. She's 96

# ? Sep 21, 2016 00:05

a star war betamax: by Lowtax

Booblord Zagats posted:

My grandmother's home was the old plantation house the family had had since the early 1800s. The Gazebo was where the house slaves used to live, but they tore it down and built a gazebo with a BBQ pit attached. The old field slave quarters were eventually turned in to the shed they retrofit to cover the gas tanks (both natural for the house and gasoline for the combines and tractors). The house was only ever cold a few weeks a year, what with being in the swamp, so those months she'd make grampa set up the coal heater in the cellar or we'd never be further than 50ft from a stove or fireplace.

Whole place smelled like cow peas, pigeon peas and fried pork chops in the summer, and burning cedar, grampa's pipe and a hint of beef and veggie stew or dumplings in the winter. Her TV was a from 1971 with a giant magnifying screen in front of it so she could watch Price is Right and the news without her glasses. I remember when my dad got them a new living room set for their 40th anniversary in 88, they went from a very classical looking but uncomfortable set from the 50s to a really plush but incredibly 80s couch set with a Lazy Boy. They were both afraid to actually recline the recliner for some reason.

looks like we have a new addition to the HALL OF FAME!

# ? Sep 21, 2016 00:06

beat9

My grandma always used to cook for us grandkids and she had the tiniest frying pan for making a perfectly round fried egg with. Like it would only hold one fried egg and that was it. I don't think it was ever used for anything else.
Also, she was like a perfect grandma-specimen, small, round, cheery as heck and always complaining about you not putting enough clothes on in winter or us grandkids not eating enough.

# ? Sep 21, 2016 00:07

jeff smisek

8 track betamax posted:

looks like we have a new addition to the HALL OF FAME!

This post clearly says "grampa" in it :confused:

# ? Sep 21, 2016 02:28

Edgar: Oh my heck!
Oh heavens!
Oh my lord!
OH Sweet meats!

My grandma had a room filled with dolls. Half the room was a behind a large pane of glass, which protected the hundreds of dolls. There was also a rickety wooden chair facing the dolls. So my grandma can watch them.

# ? Sep 21, 2016 02:44

Barnes And Body Works

Edgar posted:

My grandma had a room filled with dolls. Half the room was a behind a large pane of glass, which protected the hundreds of dolls. There was also a rickety wooden chair facing the dolls. So my grandma can watch them.

holy poo poo thats a good grandma room.

# ? Sep 21, 2016 04:45

Masturbasturd

So that dusty rose smell of grandma's bedroom is something that I smell when trippin hard on good LSD. I'll smell it in expectation of ploppin a sweet blotter of pure on my tongue.
Any other goons concur/help a goon out?

# ? Sep 21, 2016 05:29

a star war betamax: by Lowtax

Edgar posted:

My grandma had a room filled with dolls. Half the room was a behind a large pane of glass, which protected the hundreds of dolls. There was also a rickety wooden chair facing the dolls. So my grandma can watch them.

Thanks for sharing, another one for the HALL OF FAMW

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# ? Sep 21, 2016 18:42

FluffieDuckie

we welcome this thread from the ashes of gbs

welcome thread!

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? Sep 21, 2016 18:43

a star war betamax: by Lowtax

FluffieDuckie posted:

we welcome this thread from the ashes of gbs

welcome thread!

thanks for the sharing, and welcome to the HAL OF FAME!

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 21, 2016 18:52

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

My grandma made dolls and dioramas depicting famous events from history. She had a diorama of the OJ Simpson courtroom complete with Judge Ito, Johnnie Cochran, and Marcia Clark dolls. Once she made the dioramas, it was like they didn't even exist to her. She piled them on top of each other and over time they got dusty and spiderwebby. I once saw a bunch of baby spiders crawl out of the rubble in the Ground Zero diorama she made.

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# ? Sep 21, 2016 19:57

Boomzilla

My grandma is kinda a stereotypical sweet little old god fearing episcopalian lady, but boy does she dislike cops. She calls them 'the filth' and mutters under her breath whenever she sees one. She makes the world's best pot roast. When I was a kid my room was next to hers, and when I moved out she had the wall knocked out and now her bedroom is really big.

# ? Sep 21, 2016 20:21

Barnes And Body Works

So happy this thread is back. I missed it already.

Vanisher made my super slick sig.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 00:21

fresh_cheese: MY KPI IS HOW MANY VP NUTS I SUCK IN A FISCAL YEAR AND MY LAST THREE OFFICE CHAIRS COMMITTED SUICIDE

My grandma made the best bread. The cousins and I called it nanna bread. Cause we called her nanna, see?

She always sent me gum in my birthday cards - either Wrigley's spearmint or juicy fruit.

She made really tiny biscuits with a 1/3 cup measuring cup. You needed like 6 of them at breakfast.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 02:44

hold hands at the park

love the thread sounds like you all have some great grandmas

question: is it ok to talk about a friend's grandma? My grandma's apartment was ok, everything was beige and it smelled like cigarettes. But my friend's grandma's house is truly noteworthy and I'd like to discuss in the thread.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:03

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

pyroseraphin posted:

love the thread sounds like you all have some great grandmas question: is it ok to talk about a friend's grandma? My grandma's apartment was ok, everything was beige and it smelled like cigarettes. But my friend's grandma's house is truly noteworthy and I'd like to discuss in the thread.

I want to hear about this "friend's" grandma.

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# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:07

Boomzilla

pyroseraphin posted:

love the thread sounds like you all have some great grandmas question: is it ok to talk about a friend's grandma? My grandma's apartment was ok, everything was beige and it smelled like cigarettes. But my friend's grandma's house is truly noteworthy and I'd like to discuss in the thread.

All Nanas are welcome here

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:47

social vegan

tries to pull just one candy from the dish, rips entire house from foundation

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:50

CrashCat: another shit post

my grandma had the cool glass paperweights and i was jealous of them

eventually i let slip that I liked them and someone got me my own cool glass paperweight, it even glows in the dark

someday i will pass it on to another grandma and renew the cycle

# ? Sep 22, 2016 18:59

a star war betamax: by Lowtax

pyroseraphin posted:

love the thread sounds like you all have some great grandmas question: is it ok to talk about a friend's grandma? My grandma's apartment was ok, everything was beige and it smelled like cigarettes. But my friend's grandma's house is truly noteworthy and I'd like to discuss in the thread.

Normally, back in this megathreads original subforum, the rules were a little, how should I put it.... Stricter. And as such my first gut reaction is to say "no" this is a thread for discussing your biological grandma's... Only.

But since the powers that be have decided to move it here, to Bob, where the posting culture is a bit more lackadaisical, I'll give you a pass on this.

So feel free to post about your friends grandma, but please, contact your friend and obtain written permission first. You can either pm me a scanned
copy or post it here, in thread.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 19:21

CrashCat: another shit post

i know a guy who knows a guy and his grandma might have had that somewhat racist old story book about the tiger that runs around a tree and melts into butter

totally not me though, just posting for a friend of a friend

# ? Sep 22, 2016 19:33

hold hands at the park

8 track betamax posted:

Normally, back in this megathreads original subforum, the rules were a little, how should I put it.... Stricter. And as such my first gut reaction is to say "no" this is a thread for discussing your biological grandma's... Only.

But since the powers that be have decided to move it here, to Bob, where the posting culture is a bit more lackadaisical, I'll give you a pass on this.

So feel free to post about your friends grandma, but please, contact your friend and obtain written permission first. You can either pm me a scanned
copy or post it here, in thread.

Terrific thank you so much! While I wait for my friend's consent here are some pics I feel are appropriate for the thread.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 20:24

Nooner: AN A+ OPSTER (:

CrashCat posted:

i know a guy who knows a guy and his grandma might have had that somewhat racist old story book about the tiger that runs around a tree and melts into butter

totally not me though, just posting for a friend of a friend

this post belongs in the hall of SHAME for racist grannys ):<

# ? Sep 22, 2016 20:35

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# ? May 4, 2024 10:35

a star war betamax: by Lowtax

pyroseraphin posted:

Terrific thank you so much! While I wait for my friend's consent here are some pics I feel are appropriate for the thread.

Welcome to
Grandmas
house come on in have a
tell me about cookie
your day relax eat
play with the cousins
stay a while
know that you are LOVED

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# ? Sep 22, 2016 20:42

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > We've all been there - grandma's room

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