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loquacius

Oh man, Amsterdam was incredible, bro. There was this creperie right down the block from our hostel where -- oh, a creperie is a place where they make crepes for you. We don't have them in America. Yeah, they make the crepes for you, right there. To order. I know, insane, right? You could pick sweet or savory. You could get 'em stuffed with anything, man. Nutella, honey and bananas, cheese and prosciutto... yeah, we didn't even know what to ask for the first time. Around here you just have to settle for whatever week-old poo poo your connection has in stock. Those Dutch people, man, they get breakfast right.

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alnilam

The whole stretch from new york city down to south jersey and as far west as maybe york PA is just an absolute cesspool of "diners," these sick little numbers open 24/7 and if you know what to ask for they'll serve you breakfast any time of day

HighwireAct


Pozzo's Hat
“man, I got some good foreign poo poo while I was in europe. you boys ever had an omelette du fromage?

Nooner

AN A+ OPSTER (:
Banana celery combo was not enough, I'm one hungry nooner right now :sigh:

alnilam

HighwireAct posted:

“man, I got some good foreign poo poo while I was in europe. you boys ever had an omelette du fromage?

Dexter, writhing, strapped to a bed in rehab: omelette du fromage, omelette du fromage!!!

Cop who brought him in, sighing: makes me goddamn sick...

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
Breakfast or break last!

If you're not eating a well-balanced meal first thing you are Breaking Bad

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

FutonForensic

"m-mom, relax! it's just granola! it's harmless!"

mother smacked the bowl, scattering oats over the floor. "today you're eating oats, tomorrow you'll be horfing down bacon and eggs, right out of some stranger's skillet! i raised you better than this!"

defiantly, i fell to the floor and began slurping up oat clusters off the kitchen linoleum


liddledragon

[DRAGONING CLIMAXES]
"Welcome to the 10 'o'clock news. Our top story tonight: Trix or Treat? Throwing it over to our crime and breakfast anchor, Diane, who is live on the streets tonight."

"Thanks, Jack. While this may look like a quiet, peaceful suburban neighborhood, terror has washed over its streets this Halloween night. Reports of a man dressed in an oversized bunny outfit are coming in at the Townsboro Police District tonight. Distressed parents are saying that the Bunny Man is luring unsuspecting children over with the promise of bright, colorful Halloween candy.
The danger? This "candy" is actually one of the street's most dangerous breakfast foods. The police are reporting that dozens of children have been checked into the local hospital, suffering from seizures and hyper mania caused by eating the rainbow cereal. According to our sources inside the hospital, many of the kids are screaming the words that the Bunny Man told them over and over. We have exclusive footage of one victim of the breakfast cereal crime spree, just moments before being restrained and carried away for medical attention."

*cuts to footage of a little girl in a princess costume, running madly in circles and flailing, screaming at the top of her lungs*

"SILLY RABBIT, TRIX ARE FOR KIDS!!"

Business Gorillas

:harambe:



Went to Toasting Man this year, split a cinnamon roll with my buddy, and ended up going to the oatmeal tent and doing lots of things with tech workers id rather not talk about in polite company

google THIS

in my state you have to show your id in order to buy maple syrup, and they limit you to one small bottle a month. you also have to sign an affidavit stating your intent to use it in a pork chop glaze or something similar

alnilam

Business Gorillas posted:

Went to Toasting Man this year, split a cinnamon roll with my buddy, and ended up going to the oatmeal tent and doing lots of things with tech workers id rather not talk about in polite company

Nooner

AN A+ OPSTER (:

google THIS posted:

in my state you have to show your id in order to buy maple syrup, and they limit you to one small bottle a month. you also have to sign an affidavit stating your intent to use it in a pork chop glaze or something similar


symbolic

"Honey, I was going through your phone, and...do you mind explaining who 'Denny' is?"
"Oh, mom, he's...just a friend."
"How come I've never heard you talk about him?"
"I, um..."
"You wouldn't mind it if I called him, do you?"
"Mom, he's just a friend, it's nothing!"
*Tap tap*
*Riiing*
"Hi, this is Tom from Denny's. Are you calling to ask about our breakfast menu?"
*Tap*
"...Mom, I-"
"DON'T 'MOM' ME, YOUNG MAN! YOU'RE GROUNDED! FOR LIFE!"

Tuxedo Gin

Classy.

There's this place down the street from my old apartment called "The House of Hash". You can try hash from all over the world. Irish hash. Mexican hash. German hash. It's a real plague on the neighborhood. Really brings in the wrong kind of people.

City of Glompton

yeah I"m heading to Peru for vacation. they have these shaman-led morning rituals that are life-changing. It's not like your normal breakfast or whatever, it's a journey to the spirit universe, and these guys take years to learn how to lead others through the coffee, eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, waffles, pancakes, and toast. supposedly if you do it right, you'll see God.


thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

Hector Beerlioz

aw, hec
Cheryl on the corner, turning Trix for money

misty mountaintop

by Hand Knit

Business Gorillas posted:

Went to Toasting Man this year, split a cinnamon roll with my buddy, and ended up going to the oatmeal tent and doing lots of things with tech workers id rather not talk about in polite company

misty mountaintop

by Hand Knit

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Cheryl on the corner, turning Trix for money

Munchables

Ask/tell me about legal cannibalism

Tonight at 9, we bring in some experts who claim to be able to see why kids love "Cinnamon" "Toast" "Crunch"

Piso Mojado

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Cheryl on the corner, turning Trix for money

loquacius

all these posts about moms discovering that their kids are eating breakfast really cast those old apple jacks commercials in a new light

Vincent Van Goatse

Enjoy every sandwich.

Piso Mojado posted:

any BIG breakfast eaters itt?

used to be one but I'm not active enough to justify all those calories


Business Gorillas

:harambe:



"Excuse me I have to go to the restroom real quick."
"You've been going once every 2 hours or so. Are you okay, Carl?"
*Carl staggers back to meeting room 30 minutes later with his suit disheveled and desperately trying to clean the grape jelly residue around his mouth*

Business Gorillas

:harambe:



*Cop slams a suspect onto the hood of his car*
Oh, what do we have here?!
*cop shoves hand into suspect's hoodie. Pulls out a small baggie containing a single donut hole*
What are you doing with this, punk? You selling these to kids?! There's a school 200 yards from here!!
*cop looks at the COPS camera recording him*
These thugs around here have been selling these to kids. Call them 'Munchkin Bags'. Makes me freakin sick

google THIS

medicinal breakfast is a joke. You can just wander into a waffle house and tell the waiter "ohh, I'm so hungry" and they'll write you up a scrip with hardly a question asked

FluffieDuckie

google THIS posted:

medicinal breakfast is a joke. You can just wander into a waffle house and tell the waiter "ohh, I'm so hungry" and they'll write you up a scrip with hardly a question asked


Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

Piso Mojado

google THIS posted:

medicinal breakfast is a joke. You can just wander into a waffle house and tell the waiter "ohh, I'm so hungry" and they'll write you up a scrip with hardly a question asked

Manifisto


GlaxoSmithKline hard at work engineering a pastry that eliminates donut cravings but doesn't taste good


ty nesamdoom!

Barking Gecko

Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

google THIS posted:

medicinal breakfast is a joke. You can just wander into a waffle house and tell the waiter "ohh, I'm so hungry" and they'll write you up a scrip with hardly a question asked

In California you can even order a "medicinal" breakfast online, and they'll have it ready for you when get there.

Unfortunately, I live in the South, where they can bust you just for possession of breakfast paraphernalia. They have breakfast task forces, informants, even breakfast sniffing dogs. It's pretty rough. On the other hand, if you know who to ask, you can sometimes find someone way out in the backwoods who can cook you up a pretty strong breakfast, but it might be too much for most folks.

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


loquacius posted:

the scene where jennifer connelly splits a giant breakfast sausage with another girl in front of a crowd so she can afford more hardboiled eggs was so hosed-up

i like it when they go biscuit to biscuit

google THIS posted:

medicinal breakfast is a joke. You can just wander into a waffle house and tell the waiter "ohh, I'm so hungry" and they'll write you up a scrip with hardly a question asked


Barking Gecko posted:

In California you can even order a "medicinal" breakfast online, and they'll have it ready for you when get there.

Unfortunately, I live in the South, where they can bust you just for possession of breakfast paraphernalia. They have breakfast task forces, informants, even breakfast sniffing dogs. It's pretty rough. On the other hand, if you know who to ask, you can sometimes find someone way out in the backwoods who can cook you up a pretty strong breakfast, but it might be too much for most folks.

man i don't want to be that guy but i use bacon medicinally these days, and it's only a little bacon and maybe some toast here and there. it's vegan bacon even, so i'm not even making a big carbon footprint, right? i just use it for the pain in the mornings, and i can stop whenever i need to, but my doctor says it's fine.


liddledragon

[DRAGONING CLIMAXES]

hamjobs posted:

i like it when they go biscuit to biscuit



man i don't want to be that guy but i use bacon medicinally these days, and it's only a little bacon and maybe some toast here and there. it's vegan bacon even, so i'm not even making a big carbon footprint, right? i just use it for the pain in the mornings, and i can stop whenever i need to, but my doctor says it's fine.

social vegan



heats up the tips of a knife over the stove, picks up dollop of butter, wildly tries to spread it on toast

FactsAreUseless

Woke up on the trailer floor again. Hands shaking. Diabetes. My blood sugar was hosed again. I needed something. Empty box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Worthless. Half a croissant in the fridge. Chocolate scooped out of it. Ate it anyway.

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


social vegan posted:

heats up the tips of a knife over the stove, picks up dollop of butter, wildly tries to spread it on toast

there's a better way, kids these days are doing a thing they call "nuking"

you gotta melt the butter real slow, in this thing called a microwave--your first rig doesn't have to be top end or anything, you don't have to get an all steel with the tempered glass or anything, just like a forty buck panasonic will do the job. you gotta get a big dab of butter and you gotta knife it into a "ramekin"--it's a bowl, but it's special, so it's got a special name--and you gotta put the "ramekin" in the plugged-in microwave, right, and you gotta "nuke" the "ramekin" until the "dab" is melted and you can hear it sizzle, ok?

so then you gotta get a potholder to protect your hand, grab the hot ramekin and pour it all over your toast--then eat it. oh my god, the feeling is so much more intense and there's no char from the knife tips in your butter. it's so clean. you gotta try it, man, it's just different.


social vegan



FactsAreUseless posted:

Woke up on the trailer floor again. Hands shaking. Diabetes. My blood sugar was hosed again. I needed something. Empty box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Worthless. Half a croissant in the fridge. Chocolate scooped out of it. Ate it anyway.

I dug wildly through my pantry, but nothing was there. Almost nothing, that is. Alone, at the very reach of my fingertips sat two stale cookies. I stopped. Cookies... for breakfast? It might just work.

social vegan



nice so uh, what kinda coils you got on this *checks the faceplate* panasonic?

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


i've been a daily breakfast haver for the last...i'd say twenty five years. no, ok, i'll be honest, thirty two. i've been having breakfast almost every day for thirty two years straight. i mean, i got clean for about nine months when i was inside back in the early 80s, but i was really young and got sucked right into the routine again when i got out.

it all started with my mom--she used to give me milk, all day, every day. then, i watched her drink coffee and smoke her merit lights every morning,a nd i thought "hey, i mean, it's just coffee, right?" so i started having juice. juice, it's better than coffee, they give that to kids after school so it can't hurt me. then when i got older, i slid into the coffee--and then the pastry happened. i was getting a morning coffee, and the barista offered me a bearclaw. "it's almond," she said. almonds are healthy, i thought, it can't be that bad.

i'm up to a grand slam a day habit, folks. weekends, i make them learn not to say "all day breakfast" in front of me. i had two short stacks, an order of cinnamon roll french toast and some coddled eggs just this morning and i might make it an early friday with some sweet and salty bacon and chocolate pancakes and a potato skillet. i don't think there's any turning back. i've gone too far with the breakfast for anyone to help me now.


social vegan



look if you're going to do it, do it organically, this synthetic poo poo will kill you. Just last week we had 3 deaths connected to cinnamon candle consumption, don't be another statistic

google THIS

push the toaster lever and prepre to jam!

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Luvcow

One day nearer spring

FactsAreUseless posted:

Woke up on the trailer floor again. Hands shaking. Diabetes. My blood sugar was hosed again. I needed something. Empty box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Worthless. Half a croissant in the fridge. Chocolate scooped out of it. Ate it anyway.


social vegan posted:

I dug wildly through my pantry, but nothing was there. Almost nothing, that is. Alone, at the very reach of my fingertips sat two stale cookies. I stopped. Cookies... for breakfast? It might just work.

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