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*frantically tries to click on lighter to heat bent spoon full of sausage gravy* |
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Sep 22, 2016 16:32
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 06:29 |
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FactsAreUseless posted:Where we're going, we don't need eyes to see the taste you can see. Dehumanize Yourself and Face to Biscuits |
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Sep 22, 2016 16:33
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Luvcow posted:in the midst of flashing strobes and techno beats a raver girl slips a fresh piece of jimmy dean into my mouth then kisses me, i can feel the sausage enter me, become a part of me, in a daze i slip my pacifier back into my mouth and lose myself in the music |
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Sep 22, 2016 16:56
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*opens a tome stitched together from torn flesh and starts reading from the bloodied pages* Three eggs, dash of salt, four cracks pepper *the hooded cultists kneel and repeat* Two slice ham, quarter onion, dice it dice it *the cultists chant and an unnatural darkness fills the room, otherworldly whispers begin to swirl* Tablespoon butter, heat on high, watch it MELT. *the chanting becomes more frantic, the whispers growing louder. The head priests eyes roll back into his head and start weeping a black ooze, his voice suddenly going unnaturally deep* WHISK THE EGGS. LET THEM BOIL. ALWAYS HE STIRS. *the cultists on the floor abandon their chants and succumb to unholy urges. They start to thrash at each other. What was once a peaceful ceremony rapidly devolves into a cacophony of the screams of the dying* FOLD IN THE HAM, THE ONIONS, THE CHEESE. THY OMELETTE IS WESTERN AND FULL OF THINE BOUNTY. *nightmarish horrors tear into our reality. Tentacles and screaming faces ripple on the skin of the head priest* SLATHERRRRR *portals to the Rancheros dimension split open, causing salsa to flood into the room. The head priest explodes into sour cream. The ritual is complete.* Business Gorillas fucked around with this message at 17:21 on Sep 22, 2016 |
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Sep 22, 2016 17:16
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Went to Toasting Man this year, split a cinnamon roll with my buddy, and ended up going to the oatmeal tent and doing lots of things with tech workers id rather not talk about in polite company |
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Sep 22, 2016 19:37
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"Excuse me I have to go to the restroom real quick." "You've been going once every 2 hours or so. Are you okay, Carl?" *Carl staggers back to meeting room 30 minutes later with his suit disheveled and desperately trying to clean the grape jelly residue around his mouth* |
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Sep 22, 2016 20:44
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*Cop slams a suspect onto the hood of his car* Oh, what do we have here?! *cop shoves hand into suspect's hoodie. Pulls out a small baggie containing a single donut hole* What are you doing with this, punk? You selling these to kids?! There's a school 200 yards from here!! *cop looks at the COPS camera recording him* These thugs around here have been selling these to kids. Call them 'Munchkin Bags'. Makes me freakin sick |
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Sep 22, 2016 20:48
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oh my god they're doing the lord's work in the fall sig thread
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Sep 23, 2016 06:30
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 06:29 |
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The Cereal Clubhouse |
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Sep 23, 2016 19:54
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