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they could just call for help on their smart phones Mary-Ann would be a feminist |
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Sep 22, 2016 15:55
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| # ? May 7, 2024 16:26 |
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Mary Ann would be on an island. |
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Sep 22, 2016 16:00
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no signal on desert islands though  In one episode the Professor builds a homebrew Linux box out of coconuts and palm fronds and uses it to host the island's only website you can connect to it using the smartphones he built out of banana peels and tall grass |
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Sep 22, 2016 16:01
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Skipper marries his twink Gilligan and they are accepted by the other castaways.
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Sep 22, 2016 17:24
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what sort of designer drug do you think ginger would be drying out from |
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Sep 22, 2016 17:27
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Everyone develops mental issues due to lack of technology/Internet, followed by rape/suicide. Before this the professor is exposed as a fraud, being an idiot who simply used Google to appear smart. |
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Sep 22, 2016 17:32
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First half of the first episode is everyone loving around on their phones, then their phones die and the professor builds a solar cell to charge them but it can only charge one at a time so there are arguments over who gets to use the charger first and the charger gets broken. The recurring theme is getting their phones working so they can call for help or play Candy Crush or whatever every episode, and it never works, and no one bothers to try and make a raft or whatever even though there's another island visible on the horizon. Gilligan gets hungry and uses his phone to smash open a coconut but smashes his phone instead and starts freaking out but eventually wakes up and realizes it was all a bad dream and he still hasn't eaten in two weeks, then he plays fruit ninja while his kidneys fail. |
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Sep 22, 2016 17:32
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gilligan: "wait.. i think i do recognize you" ginger: "heh, no probably not i'm not really famous" gilligan: "yeah i do! you're the girl that Peyton Manning pees on in that sex tape!"
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Sep 22, 2016 17:33
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I never actually watched Gilligan's Island, the three plot elements I've absorbed through osmosis are a) the skipper acts paternal toward gilligan b) there is some kind of love triangle between Gilligan, Mary Ann, and the Movie Star, because they are the only three young people present. Not sure of this one, that might just be Internet culture reading into things??? c) whenever a plot element calls for some modern convenience they wouldn't have on the island they're just like "whatever, the loving professor builds it out of whatever is lying around. loving coconuts and poo poo. he builds one offscreen in like twenty minutes and it's not even a big deal for him." |
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Sep 22, 2016 17:47
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whoever gets the fewest likes is voted off the island each week |
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Sep 22, 2016 17:57
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They already did this. It was called Lost and it was the greatest show to ever air on television.
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Sep 22, 2016 18:07
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During a brief period of satellite signal thurston howell is discovered while attempting to google "legal cannibalism" and is shunned by his wife for the rest of the episode. |
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Sep 22, 2016 18:08
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Come to think of it, how was it that the professor could build himself a working refrigerator and stuff but he couldn't build a raft loving Tom Hanks in Cast Away could build a raft |
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Sep 22, 2016 18:08
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misty mountaintop posted:They already did this. It was called Lost and it was the greatest show to ever air on television. i could not agree more with this statement 
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Sep 22, 2016 18:09
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Cephalocidal posted:During a brief period of satellite signal thurston howell is discovered while attempting to google "legal cannibalism" and is shunned by his wife for the rest of the episode. ---------------- |
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Sep 22, 2016 18:13
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misty mountaintop posted:They already did this. It was called Lost and it was the greatest show to ever air on television. The Gilligan's Island crew was just too stupid to solve any of the island's mysteries. |
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Sep 22, 2016 18:16
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Pawn 17 posted:The Gilligan's Island crew was just too stupid to solve any of the island's mysteries. *smoke monster walks out of the jungle and drops a dharma initiative handbook on the ground in front of gilligan and the skipper* the skipper: "look at this little buddy!" *smoke monster stands silently and watches, a hopeful polar bear peers through the brush behind him* gilligan: "hey thats awesome! just the kindling we need to start this fire!" *polar bear groans and walks away, smoke monster begins to cry*
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Sep 22, 2016 18:21
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i just realized only mary ann is still alive drat dog |
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Sep 22, 2016 20:37
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Gilligan. Millenials. Gilliganiels. ---------------- |
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Sep 22, 2016 21:23
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It will all have been set up by bear grylls |
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Sep 22, 2016 21:58
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everyone remarks on how healthy and invigorated they feel now that circumstances have forced them to adopt the paleo diet
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Sep 23, 2016 03:41
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yung gilligan drinking lean out of a coconut |
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Sep 23, 2016 05:08
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misty mountaintop posted:They already did this. It was called Lost and it was the greatest show to ever air on television. Dangit I was gonna say "they'd go back to the island" |
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Sep 23, 2016 05:13
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misty mountaintop posted:They already did this. It was called Lost and it was the greatest show to ever air on television. Luvcow posted:i could not agree more with this statement  byob is probably not the place but I still want to talk about lost I have friends who keep saying they'll get around to watching it . . . someday . . . 
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Sep 23, 2016 06:10
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Man ain't no one want to watch that poo poo |
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Sep 23, 2016 06:26
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They could use the plastic trash washed up on the shore of the island to make impromptu condoms should the need arise. |
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Sep 23, 2016 06:29
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in the closed environment of an island, is it really possible to give affirmative consent?
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Sep 23, 2016 06:30
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concent takes a back seat to the need to have caretakers for the aging crew. What happens when the good Skipper falls victim to oldtimers' and he keeps getting Gilligans name wrong. Someone's gotta step up. |
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Sep 23, 2016 06:46
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is it possible to fashion a cocktail of drugs suitable for merciful euthanasia out of coconuts, professor?
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Sep 23, 2016 06:58
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They would be the crew and passengers of mh370 |
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Sep 23, 2016 07:34
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gilligan would def. vape
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Sep 23, 2016 07:38
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Ein cooler Typ posted:they could just call for help on their smart phones I say nay. Mary-Anne would be a fairly conservative farm girl who was also pretty aggressive and take charge who ends up on the boat because she thinks she can get drunk out on the open sea and that sounds fun. Cannot stop thinking about Gilligan. Ginger would be a world-famous blogger/game designer with the handle "61n61r" who was on the boat tour as research for a game she's working on. The Professor is a disgraced engineering instructor who was fired from his school for an inappropriate relationship with a female TA. Incredibly cold to the girls, but occasionally finds himself unwittingly drawn into Gilligan's plots. The Howells had planned to fake their deaths to escape an impending FTC trial and hide away overseas with a vast fortune in hidden assets. Now believed dead by the world, they await their rescue so they can once again vanish. Skipper bought the Minnow and became its Captain as part of a mid-life crisis and to get out of the shadow of his successful Naval family members who have served the US Armed Forces for the last 100 years. In reality, he knows nothing of being a sailor except how to turn the key and steer the boat. Gilligan is a madman who deliberately antagonizes the rest of the castaways under the guise of a helpful idiot. He will occasionally be found worshiping a some sort of monolith hidden in the jungle, occasionally bringing it an unknown 'offering' which will have vanished by the next time he returns. He'll also shun strange shells painted with unknown icons that wash up in the lagoon, and try to persuade the others to desecrate them in a ritualistic way while avoiding contact with them. |
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Sep 23, 2016 08:58
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Manifisto posted:I have friends who keep saying they'll get around to watching it . . . someday . . . There are 121 episodes at an hour each, i feel like if people didn't watch it then they will never watch it now. For me it was appointment television and had the best finale of any show i've watched but it definitely seems to be a love or hate kind of show
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Sep 23, 2016 14:05
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thurston would be a post-90s dotcom millionaire he would also probably vape https://i.imgur.com/8cIhFxN.mp4 |
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Sep 23, 2016 15:27
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hth posted:thurston would be a post-90s dotcom millionaire Question is whether he's from one of those white flight exurbs or a gated community that got swallowed by the inner city but somehow kept its walls up. The second one is more evocative of the "old money" Howell, but the first one lets his wife be the head of the local HOA which is way funnier and has more potential plot hooks. |
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Sep 23, 2016 15:53
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the professor would have a catchphrase that sounds similar to, but legally distinct from, "bazinga!"
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Sep 23, 2016 17:55
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Manifisto posted:the professor would have a catchphrase that sounds similar to, but legally distinct from, "bazinga!" Benghazi?
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Sep 23, 2016 18:14
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Manifisto posted:the professor would have a catchphrase that sounds similar to, but legally distinct from, "bazinga!" Following a fierce tropical storm a shipping crate is found washed up on the shore and suspected to contain food or other necessary supplies. After nearly a full episode is spent trying to get it open before a second storm pushes it back out into the water it is discovered to contain hundreds of novelty hats and dated pop/geek culture t-shirts. Everyone hates the professor's new wardrobe. |
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Sep 23, 2016 18:18
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They would all be feminists, because feminism is good |
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Sep 23, 2016 18:35
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| # ? May 7, 2024 16:26 |
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The final episode involves them finding a time machine that will let them go back in time and undo the events that got them trapped on the island. They discover at the same time that Ginger and Mary-Anne are both pregnant. Gilligan returns to the island, not sure why it didn't work, and two strangers arrive to explain it: Everything he did to try to discretely change the timeline only resulted in creating the events that trapped them there in the first place. In another 25 years, the time machine will be recharged enough for them to use it and finally escape the island. The two strangers then vanish. They return to the future, where the fresh, older corpses of the other castaways lay dead at a going away banquet, poisoned. "Don't feel bad about what we had to do. They knew where they went wrong last time and we couldn't let them change history, to uncreate us..." "I love you Gillian..." "I love you too, Skippy..." |
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Sep 23, 2016 19:08
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