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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:They would all be feminists, because feminism is good Nah. The natives who only show up once every season or so but who apparently live on the other side of the island even though their village can never be found, THEY are feminists. You can't introduce a plot element like that without a guarantee that hijinks ensue. Feminist natives show up in the middle of what they mistake for a wet t-shirt contest and are very supportive of the Skipper and take furtive steps to end his exploitation, stuff like that. You can't introduce serious poo poo into television without making an offensive mockery of it, so it's got to be calculated for maximum outrage and tone-deafness but also delivered in short controlled bursts. "Everyone's a feminist" might as well read "no season 2." Cephalocidal fucked around with this message at 20:06 on Sep 23, 2016 |
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Sep 23, 2016 19:57
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| # ? May 7, 2024 23:06 |
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Also the natives are actually anthropologist researchers keeping tabs on the castaways but because there is already a unique culture among the castaways by the time they find them they can't interfere too much without losing their grant money. The native costumes are just a miscalculation from their first survey when they expected to find actual indigenous peoples, so they're stuck keeping up the ruse. |
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Sep 23, 2016 20:05
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Gilligan's discovery of a conch shell sparks an awakening of interest in feminist issues, leading to wacky hijinks and comedic misunderstandings about who gets to hold the shell.
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Sep 23, 2016 20:07
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In a nod to the classic "Lord of the Flies" gilligan waits until the skipper has the conch and then crushes him with a boulder. Later gilligan is horrified to find out that the professor cannot bring him back to life.
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Sep 23, 2016 20:13
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the boulder is unmistakably phallic and somehow appears in the background whenever one of the characters says "patriarchy"
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Sep 23, 2016 20:38
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Manifisto posted:the boulder is unmistakably phallic and somehow appears in the background whenever one of the characters says "patriarchy" In season two Ginger abruptly ends an argument with Mary Ann as they're leaving her hut by screaming "PATRIARCHY!" at the top of her lungs as soon as she's outside, causing the stone phallus to erupt from the threshold and sealing Mary Ann inside. |
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Sep 23, 2016 21:27
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Cephalocidal posted:In season two Ginger abruptly ends an argument with Mary Ann as they're leaving her hut by screaming "PATRIARCHY!" at the top of her lungs as soon as she's outside, causing the stone phallus to erupt from the threshold and sealing Mary Ann inside. as the day grows hotter and hotter, the trapped mary ann regrets more than anything that she ever thought it was a good idea to install that glass ceiling
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Sep 23, 2016 21:39
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The Professor makes a horrific discover in a cave, a man-made sign which explains where they are and why no one can find them... GilliganCo. Biodiversity Sanctuary |
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Sep 24, 2016 06:01
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hth posted:i just realized only mary ann is still alive she won that season of survivor. |
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Sep 24, 2016 06:06
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make it a sequel. a haunted Gilligan returns with a new crew, after he intentionally sabotages the boat to get trapped again. but these new people are too different, he can't deal with the cognitive dissonance of them not being the original cast. so he sets about on a mission to terrify and harass them so that they act "like they're supposed to" "we need to go back to the way it was, Skipper." "my name's John." "No. You're the Skipper now." *Gilligan reveals he's sewn Alan Hale's face on to the new guy*
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Sep 24, 2016 14:50
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*ginger opens tinder, swipes left four times* GBS KING  "the kingdom of GBS is within YOU" qqqq |
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Sep 24, 2016 15:41
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Smash it Smash hit posted:*ginger opens tinder, swipes left four times*
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Sep 24, 2016 18:41
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Ginger is still alive too
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Sep 24, 2016 19:04
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Ein cooler Typ posted:Ginger is still alive too *swipes right*
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Sep 24, 2016 20:14
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MiracleWhale posted:*swipes right* noice GBS KING "the kingdom of GBS is within YOU" qqqq |
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Sep 24, 2016 20:23
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:They would all be feminists, because feminism is good
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Sep 25, 2016 06:25
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Hugh Laurie would play Mr. Howell, Kim Catrall would play Mrs. Howell. Ginger would be played by Olivia Wilde, Robert Townsend would play the Professor, Gilligan would be played by the guy who played Spider-man in Amazing Spider-Man, Skipper would be played by Kevin James, and Mary-Anne would be played by Aubrey Plaza. |
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Sep 25, 2016 09:22
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The Minnow is found by the Coast Guard after just 24 hours because there was a very small sector of incredibly well-mapped islands the ship could have vanished to given their probable locations for a 3 hour tour and satellite imagery along with weather patterns and currents. |
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Sep 25, 2016 10:04
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They would all be furries and they would have sex and America would watch them have sex. |
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Sep 25, 2016 12:22
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Cephalocidal posted:During a brief period of satellite signal thurston howell is discovered while attempting to google "legal cannibis" and is high with his wife for the rest of the episode.
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Sep 25, 2016 13:03
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JediTalentAgent posted:The Minnow is found by the Coast Guard after just 24 hours because there was a very small sector of incredibly well-mapped islands the ship could have vanished to given their probable locations for a 3 hour tour and satellite imagery along with weather patterns and currents. The island has an old decommissioned listening post on it that's still classified enough that the island itself had been removed from sea charts and sat coverage. Or there was a war during the hurricane and everyone else is dead. Or the Skipper is a drug runner and hadn't registered his course. Or Thurston Howell's son is paying off everyone them so he can inherit his father's fortune. |
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Sep 25, 2016 16:44
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Best idea: it's literally Gilligan's Island. He won it in a contest/auction raising money for a collapsing Polynesian state. It's sovereign land and maritime law keeps everyone else away from it. |
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Sep 25, 2016 16:56
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JediTalentAgent posted:The Minnow is found by the Coast Guard after just 24 hours because there was a very small sector of incredibly well-mapped islands the ship could have vanished to given their probable locations for a 3 hour tour and satellite imagery along with weather patterns and currents. they could build huts out of bamboo that survived tropical storms, yet somehow couldn't figure out how to make a basic raft that just needed to survive a couple hours ( they were maybe 100 miles max from Hawaii). you kinda needed to suspend disbelief to a huge degree even back then. oh and the professor accidentally invented invisibility at one point too. ---------------- |
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Sep 25, 2016 17:53
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TROIKA CURES GREEK posted:they could build huts out of bamboo that survived tropical storms, yet somehow couldn't figure out how to make a basic raft that just needed to survive a couple hours ( they were maybe 100 miles max from Hawaii). you kinda needed to suspend disbelief to a huge degree even back then. "accidentally" he wanted to watch mary anne with the shaky hand
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Sep 25, 2016 18:20
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They're saved only when protesters show up and demand the change the name of Gilligan's Island to that of the name originally used prior to their colonization. Strangely enough, the original name that Hawaiians gave the island hundred of years ago translates as the "The Gill Lagoon Island." |
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Sep 25, 2016 18:21
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The first season gets greenlight for 12 episodes including a 2 hour pilot movie. Pilot: Hour 1: The lead up to the arrival on the Island. The Howells mock Mary-Anne, Ginger hates the Professor, Skipper contemplates suicide before the tour. Gilligan accidentally loses half their emergency gear because Ginger and the Howells want to bring all sorts of poo poo along for their three hour tour. It turns out that the Howells have hired mercs to storm the boat and pretend to take everyone hostage and hijack the boat during the second hour of the tour, but he didnt' account for Skipper's lack of a sense of self-preservation, Mary-Anne's violent and racist drunken rage, Ginger's hair-trigger temper, the Professor having went through college on the GI Bill and Gilligan's clumsiness. Just as they finish off the mercs, the Howell's try to cover their own tracks by saying that they have to dispose of the bodies and not report this, or their fellow pirates will track them all down and kill them in the future. "Well, Dearies, we're all in this together now, you see..." Mrs. Howell slowly pulls a hammer from a toolbox and violently bashes the head of one of the dead hijackers, while muttering under her breath. "$150K for nothing. I could remodeled our guest bath for that money, so the least you can do is paint the deck with your blood and brains, you worthless git!" "I do agree, Lovey..." Mr. Howell kicks the body off the boat. "Gilligan, my good man, help me with these other fellows, will you? It's what you're being paid for. Then the Skipper can get us all the hell out of here..." "What about their boat?" Ginger asks. "We need to get rid of that, too." "Then we use their flares!" The Professor chimes in, "we burn the boat, start the fire near the fuel tanks. We put a few of them back on to go down to burn with the ship. It looks like they killed one another or died in an explosion." "We'd better hurry..." The Skipper suggests. "There's a storm coming on the horizon, heading our way. Let's get this done and get out of here... God forgive all of us." Hour 2: In the middle of the storm. Flashes of a storm, cuts of action going on during the tempest. We cut to them in the eye of the storm for a moment and Mary-Anne wonders if the storm is God's rage for them becoming murderers. The Professor and even Ginger tell her, "there is no God." The Professor then says what happened was self-defense on the high seas, pure and simple, and even though no court in the US would convict them, it's better that they just all forget it happened and they be happy with still being alive. They go ashore on a small island and wait out the storm. At the end of the episode, Mary-Anne is crying uncontrollably, hugging a small pig that the Skipper caught roaming on the island. Ginger demands to know what's wrong. "It's Gilligan's shirt. I was washing it and the blood.. It's got blood all over it! It won't come out." Mary-Anne holds up the shirt and shows bloody handprints of the struggle with the pirates still covering it. "Then what you do, you simple bitch, is..." Ginger slits the throat of the piglet with a broken shell and soaks the blood up with the shirt. "You make it stop being a white shirt with a few little blood stains, to a red shirt with NO stains at all. It's not that hard. SEE!" |
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Sep 25, 2016 19:22
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They're all Cylons. ...actually gently caress, that almost works. There's even a chubby one. |
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Sep 25, 2016 19:29
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there are frequent lighthearted jokes about the shipwreck being an elaborate hoax designed to treat Gilligan's severe mental illness. Gilligan laughs along with the others but his eyes reveal he doesn't quite get the humor.
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Sep 25, 2016 19:40
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hth posted:what sort of designer drug do you think ginger would be drying out from Mary K.
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Sep 25, 2016 19:43
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Humanity has perished in a cataclysm and Gilligan and company are the only survivors. They don't know it yet but they are the fate of the human race.
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Sep 25, 2016 20:52
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Gilligan catches flak from major media outlets when he announces that he can no longer maintaining funding and has to cancel full release of nutcraft, which came out as early access on the coconut |
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Sep 25, 2016 20:54
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Due to a lack of games, Gilligan and Skipper decide to breed rival animals to eventually force them to fight one another in a live-action Pokemon game. Ginger, getting sick of their investment in the game, screams "ZERG RUSH!!" in the middle of their final match and smashes an angry bee hive into them. Mary Anne gets mad because she brought a Starcraft to a Pokemon fight. |
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Sep 26, 2016 05:53
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thurnston howell is the 1% and he is manipulating the coconut market and stuffing his pockets with the coconuts of gilligan's labor and they do occupy coconut street. |
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Sep 26, 2016 06:27
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Gilligan: I am Gilligan. I am the king of this island. Mary Jane: I am Mary Jane. I am the queen of this island. Captain Skip: I am Captain Skip. I am the captain. Professor: I am the Professor. Ruffles: [barking over and over and over and over at the ghosts that haunt this island] |
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Sep 26, 2016 12:01
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It turns out the entire island is a secret brainwashing program to turn people into sleeper agents to destroy America. The Gilliganchurian Candidate. |
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Sep 26, 2016 16:58
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Alvie posted:thurnston howell is the 1% and he is manipulating the coconut market and stuffing his pockets with the coconuts of gilligan's labor and they do occupy coconut street. After being struck on the head by a rogue coconut Thurston spends an entire episode convinced he's a housecat. He perches on the highest available surface in every scene to assert his dominance and is generally an rear end in a top hat to everyone. Everyone just assumes he's being rich and eccentric until he starts dropping poached game at Ginger and Mary Ann's hut doors. Ginger gives him a hair clip with fuzzy anime cat ears on it. Mary Ann gives him a collar with a bell. During the ensuing discussion over whether or not to try and help him (as he's now unquestionably the best hunter on the island) Mrs. Howell's jealousy gets the better of her and she brains him with another coconut, reversing the process. The Professor swipes the ears and bell from the unconscious Thurston while administering first aid. These resurface in a later episode where the professor is revealed to be a brony, titled "Goodbye Horses". |
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Sep 26, 2016 17:02
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The professor builds a coconut radio that manages to pick up the signal from a Russian numbers station. The castaways get bored and start running a fantasy football league off the repeating and changing patterns. Ginger is revealed as a cryptographic savant and rolls every bracket. The Skipper's gambling addiction and rage issues compel him to destroy the radio, but Ginger's growing obsession with the device leads to her keeping it on her person at all times. The climax is a bumbling panty raid style assault on her hut in the dead of night, but all the boys just get weirded out and leave when they find her mumbling in Russian over a nuclear trefoil made of seashells and driftwood in the middle of her room. No one ever talks about it again. |
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Sep 29, 2016 00:37
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Was a major plot point actually that Thurston was rich? Strikes me as kind of funny, like... he has no access to his bank account. There's no like, shop on the island, or central authority issuing a currency. Even if he had like, a suitcase full of cash (I feel like he did have a suitcase full of cash?), how much worth does that have after a few months on the island? Once hope started to dwindle for rescue, even the idea that the other folks could use the cash when they got back to civilization would seem remote. It might be more useful as kindling or something after a point. I mean, seems like "wealthiness" is like a character trait of his: He's a rich guy. Like, even if he was homeless and penniless, they'd be like "Ugh, that rich homeless guy was super aggressive today, begging for any spare yacht I might have." But it's intrinsically tied to your personal finances, which he's completely separated from on the island. Was that an intentional running joke on the show, that his wealth is completely meaningless? |
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Sep 29, 2016 07:52
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joke_explainer posted:Was a major plot point actually that Thurston was rich? Yeah, the conceit was wealthiness as an intrinsic quality, leading to fish-out-of-water hijinks. A modern take would probably lampoon this as a far more obvious mental illness. |
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Sep 29, 2016 17:11
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theyd have cell phones and then they'd text each other dirty stuff and just to say whats up and maybe about mobile gaming. |
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Sep 29, 2016 21:16
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