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I've got it. Put out an ad on craigslist. |
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Sep 25, 2016 13:56
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| # ? May 6, 2024 11:15 |
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adopt one from your local boy shelter
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Sep 25, 2016 13:57
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How do we word the ad though? |
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Sep 25, 2016 13:56
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Ahundredbux posted:adopt one from your local boy shelter Is it true they kill boys if they aren't adopted within three months? |
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Sep 25, 2016 13:57
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yes
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Sep 25, 2016 13:58
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Have you tried being a Vietnamese woman during the Vietnam war? I hear it's a great way to meet cute GIs.
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Sep 25, 2016 14:37
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Challenge him to a game of Warhammer 40k and destroy him with a Tau Army.
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Sep 25, 2016 15:04
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E Equals MC Hammer posted:How do we word the ad though? for sale: boy friend. never worn. |
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Sep 26, 2016 02:56
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Read the book "He's just not that into you" backwards. |
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Sep 26, 2016 03:06
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big black turnout posted:for sale: boy friend. never worn. boyfriend shoes. still empty. |
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Sep 26, 2016 12:01
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you have no idea how hard I've tried to be a Vietnamese woman
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Sep 26, 2016 15:47
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some boyfriend tricks I thought of. some of these ways aren't entirely "above board" but they should net you a boyfriend. to get a: 1)gamer boyfriend: dress like the box for a video game that hasn't come out yet and lie down on the ground near the computer lab at a junior college. tailor the kind of video game to what kind of gamer boyfriend you want (ie, jrpg for a gamer boyfriend who is into anime, sports game for a sportier type, puzzle game for a gamer boyfriend you could solve mysteries with, etc). 2)tech start up company boyfriend: these boyfriends typically don't have time to be boyfriends, because they work too much, so the trick is to get into their startup. get a job as a slide or firepole installer and eventually you will be asked to install one of those things in his workplace (tech startup people love going downstairs in inventive ways) while there infiltrate a working lunch and try to solve a tricky design problem they have up on the white board. odds are you will be asked out for a soylent drink or sushi after that move, but the boyfriend probably won't show because there was an emergency meeting after the app crashed or the bluetooth tire swing they invented started catching fire and burned up a bunch of kids. 3)neil gaiman boyfriend: tell him you're a figment of his imagination that came to life after a fairy prince kissed him in his skeep during a lunar eclipse or something and now you are his for real girlfriend. neil gaiman loves that sort of stuff. 4)spinster boyfriend: go to your local animal shelter. a wealth of prospective boyfriends are waiting there in cages. you can even get a bunch of boyfriends all at once! ignore the guy who works there who took an interest in you because of your shared interest in the welfare of cats or dogs. 5)guy who works at an animal shelter because of his interest in the welfare of cats and dogs boyfriend: don't ignore the guy who works there who took an interest in you because of your shared interest in the welfare of cats or dogs. 6)just a general kind of boyfriend: ask your mom if she knows any. she probably has the hookup and has been waiting for you to ask her about him. he's probably a phlebotomist or a bank teller though, so don't get your hopes up for some kind of mega boyfriend; this is a run of the mill, mom ordained, boyfriend you'll be getting. he's gonna be the lightly used 1999 grey dodge intrepid of boyfriends. he prolly thinks stouffer's frozen lasagna is fancy eating, and a good deal, because you'll have extra left over that you can pack up for lunches. he's pretty good, as far as boyfriends go, but if you go in expecting someone who knows who third eye foundation is or who practices chaos magic in his garden shed, well, you're gonna be disappointed. ---------------- |
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Sep 26, 2016 16:19
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As a boy, acquiring a boyfriend is pretty easy for me
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Sep 26, 2016 16:30
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Do trains have genders? |
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Sep 26, 2016 16:35
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yeah?
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Sep 26, 2016 16:40
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| # ? May 6, 2024 11:15 |
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1) find the cutest boy :3 2) tell him that your favorite tv character (Netflix original) just died and that you need a hug 3) boys can't resist free hugs. When he moves in, dump your strategically-placed bucket of vegetable (olive, if you're extra picky about boyfriend material) oil over you 2 4) now the strength of Van der Walls forces and hydrophobic interactions will bind and fold you together into a commited quaternary relationship 5) avoid enzymes |
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Sep 26, 2016 20:20
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