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Uggh I can't believe I'm surrounded by all of these idiots, I hate all of them and their normie lifestyles. Why don't I have any friends? |
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Sep 25, 2016 08:28
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PEPSI for TV-GAME
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mysterious frankie posted:mom: for calling your science teacher "a peabrained mendicant" you're grounded for a week, mister. lol
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Sep 25, 2016 08:29
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No, I don't drink. Didn't you know alcohol is technically a poison. What sort of idiot would willingly dull an intellect as vast as mine. |
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Sep 25, 2016 08:31
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college? a waste of time. at the age of eleven i had already memorized the entirety of microsoft encarta
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Sep 25, 2016 08:33
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mom: Why do you think you were suspended from school? son: Simply because the system must make examples of those who speak the truth in order to keep the bright in fear while they perpetuate their lies towards the dim, I feel no regret for what I did, in years to come the world shall see me as a hero who, against all odds fought to inspire resistance against this oppressive regime. mom: You told the son of a dead soldier that his father "died to meaninglessly serve the masturbatory power fantasies of a system founded on patriotic indoctrination." son: Dearest mother, I only spoke that which was true, were you willing to become enlightened I could direct you to the numerous subreddits which I have poured hours of engaging research into, but alas, you do not seek enlightenment, merely a continuation of your moderately content state, just as the system desires it to be. *son storms out of room sweeping scarf over shoulder* |
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Sep 25, 2016 08:55
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during my first advanced calculus class (this was my freshman year btw), my professor told the class about this thing called the “Goldbach Conjecture” or something dumb and nerdy like that. i took one look and thought “that's it? lmao i could do this in my sleep” (which i almost did b/c math is so easy for me it makes me sleepy) so i said “i know the answer” the professor – clearly taken aback by my genius – said “uh, okay?” which really meant “drat I'm gonna learn today”. i just smirked algebraically and replied, “it's trivial, really” he was so stunned and schooled in that moment that he pretended he didn't hear me and kept giving the lecture, which really meant “drat my feeble mind can't handle all the knowledge this kid is laying down right now” i'd post the proof here but i don't think any of you could really comprehend it and i don't want anyone to steal my work *shreds a sick wave on my copy of principia mathematica*
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Sep 25, 2016 08:59
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401ks are for morons. my retirement savings are all in bitcoin
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Sep 25, 2016 09:05
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when you exit the birth canal, that's obviously your first "birth day", and one year later, it goes without saying, you've reached your second birthday. if you apply some elementary inductive reasoning you'll understand why there's no need to tell my parents you saw me smoking those cigarettes
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Sep 25, 2016 09:09
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Having never had a job, mortgage or car I am fully qualified to tell you why unrestricted capitalism is the only way forward |
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Sep 25, 2016 09:15
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If after all this time you still can't spell "Amethyst" and "Peridot" correctly I see no reason why I should take your opinion seriously.
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Sep 25, 2016 11:04
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Applewhite posted:If after all this time you still can't spell "Amethyst" and "Peridot" correctly I see no reason why I should take your opinion seriously. heaven is paved, according to revelation, with semiprecious jewels. kind of poo poo. beryl everywhere, promenades of cubic zirchonia ---------------- |
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Sep 25, 2016 11:05
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Orkin Mang posted:heaven is paved, according to revelation, with semiprecious jewels. kind of poo poo. beryl everywhere, promenades of cubic zirchonia rhinestone road to dipshit heaven ---------------- |
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Sep 25, 2016 11:08
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mysterious frankie posted:rhinestone road to dipshit heaven yes i know. i have a huge brain. have u read about the wine miracles in the gospels? if u stitch them together it turns out st peter was barfing kippers on the beach of gallilee practically every miracle after the first 3. no wonder he denied christ ---------------- |
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Sep 25, 2016 11:10
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Dumbass FREAKING teacher  : Uhhhhhh I guess American history really started in 1776 when the President of America declared the war of the states...Me  : What about Sartre?:: Bluhhhhh I don't see how that applies--: What about Camus' theory of nihilist relativity?: Camus didn't, what, I bloo bloo bloo fart faaaart [he was sweating and really fat now]: Have you ever seen What The Bleep Do We Know?Hot geek girl who likes Invader Zim  : Wow, you're actually pretty cool.
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Sep 25, 2016 12:54
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Actually, I try to make more rational decisions. I don't like to be too emotional. I'm generally pretty logical, you know? I just think the world would be better if people actually thought about stuff. Nobody ever really thinks about things. Not like properly. Everyone just makes feelings choices. Do you like Nightwish? |
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Sep 25, 2016 12:58
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today I solved that complex puzzle where you put different shaped blocks into different shaped holes all on my own 
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Sep 25, 2016 13:21
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A normal person: I enjoy the music of Beyonce, and Taylor Swift as well. Me (smart): I like music that is good, such as music when the guitar goes fast, or music when someone screams. |
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Sep 25, 2016 13:23
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FactsAreUseless posted:Dumbass FREAKING teacher
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Sep 25, 2016 13:28
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Applewhite posted:If after all this time you still can't spell "Amethyst" and "Peridot" correctly I see no reason why I should take your opinion seriously. Spel corectli? Hah!! I creatid my own systim of speling that is far mor eficient and logical. |
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Sep 25, 2016 13:35
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me: do you even care about the current political climate? a baby: *makes baby noises* me: *shakes head in disapproval*
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Sep 25, 2016 13:39
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me, in line at the polls: what a day to be alive, I'm finally old enough to vote. They say the fate of the world is in the hand's of the future and I'm ready to help take the lead to guide this country into a brave new generation, standing on the shoulders of giants once our parents and grandparents, looking boldly beyond the horizon that once constrained us and colonizing new sociopolitical ground in favour of strengthening the bonds between all humans and giving back to our generous Mother Earth. *writes Zack de la Rocha across the ballot* |
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Sep 25, 2016 13:43
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Now that I have answered many questions in class correctly, I may never answer again. Instead I must look as I am gazing across the class condescendingly. It is better to be seen an an arrogant jerk-butt than to risk being told that I am wrong by some so called teacher and risk these sheep thinking that I was wrong. Being the smart guy is all that I have left.
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Sep 25, 2016 14:22
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Sometimes I can't even successfully communicate how intelligent I am because the average "Joe" has slightly too limited a range of comprehension. I have tried relaxing my vocabulary in these situations but then I just don't feel like I'm being genuine. You have to feel bad for the normals, sometimes.
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Sep 25, 2016 14:23
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Applewhite for real on an online messageboard dedicated to Pokemon Circa 2000 posted:Ahh, Peekatyou_420, I see you are possessed of a mind. I am quite enjoying this little tete-a-tete. Yes, it's true that Pikachu is more aesthetically appealing than Scyther but, in a world where victory in battle is the ultimate gauge of a Pokemon's worth, looks sadly count for very little. If Ash were truly committed to being a Pokemon master, he'd ditch his ridiculous electric rat that won't even evolve and replace it with the efficient, blade-armed killing machine that is Scyther. ---------------- |
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Sep 25, 2016 14:32
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If I were to dedicate the whole of my intellectual energy to the problem, I could get a girlfriend tomorrow, but why would I waste my time like that?
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Sep 25, 2016 14:39
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The major problem is that my body is very small, but my head is very large, and so all I can do is drag it along the ground in weak circles. |
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Sep 25, 2016 14:40
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My intellect is vast and massive. It requires a metaphorical wheelbarrow just to cart my intellect from Taco Bell to Taco Bell. That is why I have little energy left for gym class and appear sluggish to you normies. And the only reason that I am picked last.
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Sep 25, 2016 14:46
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I'm so smart my IQ flipped over and I became dumb again
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Sep 25, 2016 14:46
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I am so smart that I could ingest eight whole balls of cocaine and still test circles around you in this AP Calc test.
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Sep 25, 2016 14:48
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Highlights magazine is so pedestrian, and yet it is all they offer in this waiting room at the doctor's office (doctor, from the Latin word for teacher, yes I did learn that on my own). What providence that I suspected as much and brought some more adult reading *opens copy of People* |
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Sep 25, 2016 14:53
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In order to finish my treatise on why my teammates are bad in League of Legends, I have been forced to abandon all forms of personal hygiene in my attempts to scavenge more time for my writing. That is why the class will just have to deal with the smell and you have no right as a guidance councilor to tell me what to do at home.
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Sep 25, 2016 14:57
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john galt speech
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Sep 25, 2016 14:58
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I predicted that you wouldn't appreciate the... Adventurous attributes? Of the Angry Whopper, so I got you a number two with the condiments on the side. Don't worry, my darling, some day you will grow into your own. Have patience. I will wait for you.
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Sep 25, 2016 15:21
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i'm so intelligent I can't equip anything because strength is my dump stat
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Sep 25, 2016 15:25
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mysterious frankie posted:mom: for calling your science teacher "a peabrained mendicant" you're grounded for a week, mister. |
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Sep 25, 2016 15:27
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Hello professor, I wanted to let you know that I will be reporting to lecture in december as usual. I understand that the rest of the class will not be reporting to the university due to "Christmas break", but I adamantly oppose such trivialities to get in the way of my education. Not only do I not recognize the appropriated druidic times of Yule by a sham religion, but the presence of any sort of divine overlord is laughable at best. I am a man that adheres to the laws of common sense and reason. I have transcended the devout sheep that I have the misfortune of sharing a lecture hall with, who remind placated and blinded by the lesser "God" concept. In any regard, I will be reporting at our scheduled time at university and I fully expect you to uphold your part of the student-tutor contract and be ready on december 25th with the proper scholastic materials. Best Regards, Business Gorillas |
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Sep 25, 2016 15:41
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ugh, doesn't everything make you feel "some type of way"? could you be a little more specific? 
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Sep 25, 2016 16:27
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season two of TNG is really hard for me to watch. i know they were trying to go for that bones/spock dynamic where the frenetic tempestuous doctor enviously and fruitlessly provokes the stoic, cool, focused science officer for being in control of his affect and responding with logic instead of reacting with emotion, but dr. pulaksi was clearly malicious, not jealous. spock at least understood emotions, he simply chose to rise above them. data was struggling to grasp even the simplest of human interactions, but in every instance, there was dr. pulaski, waiting like a carrion bird to shamelessly pluck the eyeballs from data's aborted attempts at relating to his fellow starfleet officers. i find data to be a very sympathetic character, having struggled myself with understanding the turbulent irrational nature of other humans, and furthermore |
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Sep 25, 2016 16:43
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me: It only makes sense that you would go out with me; it's rare for a youth like myself to achieve self-actualization, and that makes me desirable. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? her: excuse me? me: Attachment theory. Classical conditioning? Psychosexual development! her: you're just naming psychology theories--you have the textbook open right in front of you! friggin' stop it!! me: Anal fixation! Anal fixation! Anal fixation!
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Sep 25, 2016 16:46
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 09:44 |
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FutonForensic posted:me: It only makes sense that you would go out with me; it's rare for a youth like myself to achieve self-actualization, and that makes me desirable. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs?
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Sep 25, 2016 16:47
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