Worldshatter posted:

No, I don't drink. Didn't you know alcohol is technically a poison. What sort of idiot would willingly dull an intellect as vast as mine.

Absolute Lithops posted:

Sherlock Holmes is the smartest man who ever lived and he did drugs because he was too smart.

Absolute Lithops posted:

Sherlock Holmes is the smartest man who ever lived and he did drugs because he was too smart.

Mariana Horchata posted:

I had a WISC-III done in middle school and the results (which i found only last year) showed a significant VIQ/PIQ discrepency with one in superior range the other average,

mysterious frankie posted:

mom: for calling your science teacher "a peabrained mendicant" you're grounded for a week, mister.
me: I simply call it as I see it from my lofty intellectual perch, mother.
mom: well if you were so smart then why didn't you get away with it, huh?
me: well if you're so smart how come you didn't notice that you're talking to a tiger talkboy strapped to a bean bag wearing one of my signature poet shirts?
mom: *makes freaked out face as she realizes she's been owned by the best*
me: *driving away in her minivan, blaring hey man, nice shot*

GORDON posted:

I always feel awkward when I start laughing at jokes a beat before everyone else.

mysterious frankie posted:

A POINT BY POINT EXPLANATION OF WHY ALL THE REASONS I WAS FIRED FROM THE GAS STATION ARE BULLSHIT

1: let my friend Cody live there at night: Cody and I go way back and so I gotta do the guy a solid (samurai outlaw code of honor, look it up in the school of the autodidacts, i.e. The Internet) and after all those times Cody broke in and stole fifth avenue bars and toilet paper it was pretty obvious that we needed night security. it killed two birds with one stone! but apparently if you don't have a management degree from College Among The Redwoods like Steve you're not qualified to make decisions that can save the company potential millions.

2. shorted out the electrical system while trying to hang Mensa certification: a professional should be able to hang proof of their accreditation in their place of business. duh. even my grandfather has a Worlds Best Grandpa certificate, framed, on the wall of his den. so why can't I? people should know that when I overhear their conversations and give them life advice that it's coming from a well of deep insight, so it's not my fault Steve did not provide a stud finder with the deep scan function I would have needed to detect the wiring in the exact spot I was hammering the nail? I ASKED FOR THIS DEVICE WEEKS IN ADVANCE! also apparently I hung it in front of the sign to that says what year you have to have been born in if you want smokes and booze. whatever man. that's a bullshit law anyways and babies should be allowed to drink.

3. smoked a lot of meth all the time in the bathroom: uh... they were lab chemicals. from a lab. you know, where scientists are from??? it's not called doing drugs; it's called being physically & recreationally addicted to cuttting edge nootropics, look them up and get educated before the next time you act like a mega dick and freak a guy out who is just starting to peak on his brain enhancing ochre powder.

4. beat up my stepdad in the parking lot: ok yeah this one I have to cop to.

in summation, President Obama, this whole thing is bullshit so please call Steve and tell him to give me my job back. thank you and may you be blessed by your own rationality.

respectfully,
Brian Stopka, esq (iq 164, https://www.freetests.org certified)

Try Juno Free internet today and find out what millions of Cambodians are talking about! https://www.juno.com

mysterious frankie posted:

A POINT BY POINT EXPLANATION OF WHY ALL THE REASONS I WAS FIRED FROM THE GAS STATION ARE BULLSHIT

1: let my friend Cody live there at night: Cody and I go way back and so I gotta do the guy a solid (samurai outlaw code of honor, look it up in the school of the autodidacts, i.e. The Internet) and after all those times Cody broke in and stole fifth avenue bars and toilet paper it was pretty obvious that we needed night security. it killed two birds with one stone! but apparently if you don't have a management degree from College Among The Redwoods like Steve you're not qualified to make decisions that can save the company potential millions.

2. shorted out the electrical system while trying to hang Mensa certification: a professional should be able to hang proof of their accreditation in their place of business. duh. even my grandfather has a Worlds Best Grandpa certificate, framed, on the wall of his den. so why can't I? people should know that when I overhear their conversations and give them life advice that it's coming from a well of deep insight, so it's not my fault Steve did not provide a stud finder with the deep scan function I would have needed to detect the wiring in the exact spot I was hammering the nail? I ASKED FOR THIS DEVICE WEEKS IN ADVANCE! also apparently I hung it in front of the sign to that says what year you have to have been born in if you want smokes and booze. whatever man. that's a bullshit law anyways and babies should be allowed to drink.

3. smoked a lot of meth all the time in the bathroom: uh... they were lab chemicals. from a lab. you know, where scientists are from??? it's not called doing drugs; it's called being physically & recreationally addicted to cuttting edge nootropics, look them up and get educated before the next time you act like a mega dick and freak a guy out who is just starting to peak on his brain enhancing ochre powder.

4. beat up my stepdad in the parking lot: ok yeah this one I have to cop to.

in summation, President Obama, this whole thing is bullshit so please call Steve and tell him to give me my job back. thank you and may you be blessed by your own rationality.

respectfully,
Brian Stopka, esq (iq 164, https://www.freetests.org certified)

Try Juno Free internet today and find out what millions of Cambodians are talking about! https://www.juno.com

mysterious frankie posted:

A POINT BY POINT EXPLANATION OF WHY ALL THE REASONS I WAS FIRED FROM THE GAS STATION ARE BULLSHIT

1: let my friend Cody live there at night: Cody and I go way back and so I gotta do the guy a solid (samurai outlaw code of honor, look it up in the school of the autodidacts, i.e. The Internet) and after all those times Cody broke in and stole fifth avenue bars and toilet paper it was pretty obvious that we needed night security. it killed two birds with one stone! but apparently if you don't have a management degree from College Among The Redwoods like Steve you're not qualified to make decisions that can save the company potential millions.

2. shorted out the electrical system while trying to hang Mensa certification: a professional should be able to hang proof of their accreditation in their place of business. duh. even my grandfather has a Worlds Best Grandpa certificate, framed, on the wall of his den. so why can't I? people should know that when I overhear their conversations and give them life advice that it's coming from a well of deep insight, so it's not my fault Steve did not provide a stud finder with the deep scan function I would have needed to detect the wiring in the exact spot I was hammering the nail? I ASKED FOR THIS DEVICE WEEKS IN ADVANCE! also apparently I hung it in front of the sign to that says what year you have to have been born in if you want smokes and booze. whatever man. that's a bullshit law anyways and babies should be allowed to drink.

3. smoked a lot of meth all the time in the bathroom: uh... they were lab chemicals. from a lab. you know, where scientists are from??? it's not called doing drugs; it's called being physically & recreationally addicted to cuttting edge nootropics, look them up and get educated before the next time you act like a mega dick and freak a guy out who is just starting to peak on his brain enhancing ochre powder.

4. beat up my stepdad in the parking lot: ok yeah this one I have to cop to.

in summation, President Obama, this whole thing is bullshit so please call Steve and tell him to give me my job back. thank you and may you be blessed by your own rationality.

respectfully,
Brian Stopka, esq (iq 164, https://www.freetests.org certified)

Try Juno Free internet today and find out what millions of Cambodians are talking about! https://www.juno.com

mysterious frankie posted:

A POINT BY POINT EXPLANATION OF WHY ALL THE REASONS I WAS FIRED FROM THE GAS STATION ARE BULLSHIT

1: let my friend Cody live there at night: Cody and I go way back and so I gotta do the guy a solid (samurai outlaw code of honor, look it up in the school of the autodidacts, i.e. The Internet) and after all those times Cody broke in and stole fifth avenue bars and toilet paper it was pretty obvious that we needed night security. it killed two birds with one stone! but apparently if you don't have a management degree from College Among The Redwoods like Steve you're not qualified to make decisions that can save the company potential millions.

2. shorted out the electrical system while trying to hang Mensa certification: a professional should be able to hang proof of their accreditation in their place of business. duh. even my grandfather has a Worlds Best Grandpa certificate, framed, on the wall of his den. so why can't I? people should know that when I overhear their conversations and give them life advice that it's coming from a well of deep insight, so it's not my fault Steve did not provide a stud finder with the deep scan function I would have needed to detect the wiring in the exact spot I was hammering the nail? I ASKED FOR THIS DEVICE WEEKS IN ADVANCE! also apparently I hung it in front of the sign to that says what year you have to have been born in if you want smokes and booze. whatever man. that's a bullshit law anyways and babies should be allowed to drink.

3. smoked a lot of meth all the time in the bathroom: uh... they were lab chemicals. from a lab. you know, where scientists are from??? it's not called doing drugs; it's called being physically & recreationally addicted to cuttting edge nootropics, look them up and get educated before the next time you act like a mega dick and freak a guy out who is just starting to peak on his brain enhancing ochre powder.

4. beat up my stepdad in the parking lot: ok yeah this one I have to cop to.

in summation, President Obama, this whole thing is bullshit so please call Steve and tell him to give me my job back. thank you and may you be blessed by your own rationality.

respectfully,
Brian Stopka, esq (iq 164, https://www.freetests.org certified)

Try Juno Free internet today and find out what millions of Cambodians are talking about! https://www.juno.com

HighwireAct posted:

HighwireAct posted:

mysterious frankie posted:

A POINT BY POINT EXPLANATION OF WHY ALL THE REASONS I WAS FIRED FROM THE GAS STATION ARE BULLSHIT

1: let my friend Cody live there at night: Cody and I go way back and so I gotta do the guy a solid (samurai outlaw code of honor, look it up in the school of the autodidacts, i.e. The Internet) and after all those times Cody broke in and stole fifth avenue bars and toilet paper it was pretty obvious that we needed night security. it killed two birds with one stone! but apparently if you don't have a management degree from College Among The Redwoods like Steve you're not qualified to make decisions that can save the company potential millions.

2. shorted out the electrical system while trying to hang Mensa certification: a professional should be able to hang proof of their accreditation in their place of business. duh. even my grandfather has a Worlds Best Grandpa certificate, framed, on the wall of his den. so why can't I? people should know that when I overhear their conversations and give them life advice that it's coming from a well of deep insight, so it's not my fault Steve did not provide a stud finder with the deep scan function I would have needed to detect the wiring in the exact spot I was hammering the nail? I ASKED FOR THIS DEVICE WEEKS IN ADVANCE! also apparently I hung it in front of the sign to that says what year you have to have been born in if you want smokes and booze. whatever man. that's a bullshit law anyways and babies should be allowed to drink.

3. smoked a lot of meth all the time in the bathroom: uh... they were lab chemicals. from a lab. you know, where scientists are from??? it's not called doing drugs; it's called being physically & recreationally addicted to cuttting edge nootropics, look them up and get educated before the next time you act like a mega dick and freak a guy out who is just starting to peak on his brain enhancing ochre powder.

4. beat up my stepdad in the parking lot: ok yeah this one I have to cop to.

in summation, President Obama, this whole thing is bullshit so please call Steve and tell him to give me my job back. thank you and may you be blessed by your own rationality.

respectfully,
Brian Stopka, esq (iq 164, https://www.freetests.org certified)

Try Juno Free internet today and find out what millions of Cambodians are talking about! https://www.juno.com

mysterious frankie posted:

A POINT BY POINT EXPLANATION OF WHY ALL THE REASONS I WAS FIRED FROM THE GAS STATION ARE BULLSHIT

1: let my friend Cody live there at night: Cody and I go way back and so I gotta do the guy a solid (samurai outlaw code of honor, look it up in the school of the autodidacts, i.e. The Internet) and after all those times Cody broke in and stole fifth avenue bars and toilet paper it was pretty obvious that we needed night security. it killed two birds with one stone! but apparently if you don't have a management degree from College Among The Redwoods like Steve you're not qualified to make decisions that can save the company potential millions.

2. shorted out the electrical system while trying to hang Mensa certification: a professional should be able to hang proof of their accreditation in their place of business. duh. even my grandfather has a Worlds Best Grandpa certificate, framed, on the wall of his den. so why can't I? people should know that when I overhear their conversations and give them life advice that it's coming from a well of deep insight, so it's not my fault Steve did not provide a stud finder with the deep scan function I would have needed to detect the wiring in the exact spot I was hammering the nail? I ASKED FOR THIS DEVICE WEEKS IN ADVANCE! also apparently I hung it in front of the sign to that says what year you have to have been born in if you want smokes and booze. whatever man. that's a bullshit law anyways and babies should be allowed to drink.

3. smoked a lot of meth all the time in the bathroom: uh... they were lab chemicals. from a lab. you know, where scientists are from??? it's not called doing drugs; it's called being physically & recreationally addicted to cuttting edge nootropics, look them up and get educated before the next time you act like a mega dick and freak a guy out who is just starting to peak on his brain enhancing ochre powder.

4. beat up my stepdad in the parking lot: ok yeah this one I have to cop to.

in summation, President Obama, this whole thing is bullshit so please call Steve and tell him to give me my job back. thank you and may you be blessed by your own rationality.

respectfully,
Brian Stopka, esq (iq 164, https://www.freetests.org certified)

Try Juno Free internet today and find out what millions of Cambodians are talking about! https://www.juno.com

HighwireAct posted:

teacher: the earthquake had disastrous consequences for San Francisco, due in no small part to the fires sparked from its ruptured gas pipes. some parts of the city were absolutely decimated, and-
me: so only one tenth of those parts were destroyed?
teacher: e-excuse me…?
me: ever take a look at a dictionary, nerd? decimate means “to reduce by one-tenth”
teacher: language isn't a static construct-
me: whatever, old man. give me a ring after you learn some basic english
teacher:
me: *flies off on my copy of “elements of style”*

quote:

Think before you decimate

So given that these two meanings of decimate appeared almost simultaneously, why are we so obsessed with assigning the punitive meaning to the word? A likely answer is that people are falling prey to what is known as the Etymological Fallacy, a tendency to believe that a word’s current meaning should be dictated by its roots. Unfortunately for the etymological purists, decimate comes from the Medieval Latin word decimatus, which means ‘to tithe’. The word was then assigned retrospectively to the Roman practice of punishing every tenth soldier.

So, next time you attend a symposium (etymologically, drinking partner) with someone sinister (etymologically, left-handed), and they launch into a tirade about the misuse of this word, you’ll be able to decimate their argument in no time at all.

The_Book_Of_Harry posted:

http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2012/09/does-decimate-mean-destroy-one-tenth/

...and boom goes the dynamite

The_Book_Of_Harry posted:

http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2012/09/does-decimate-mean-destroy-one-tenth/

...and boom goes the dynamite

mysterious frankie posted:

A POINT BY POINT EXPLANATION OF WHY ALL THE REASONS I WAS FIRED FROM THE GAS STATION ARE BULLSHIT

Paladinus posted:

I know a bunch of words and phrases in Latin, so I'm pretty linguistically advanced. On thing I really hate is when people say semper FAI. It's pronounced like fee, you idiots. Stop saying it the wrong, incorrect way.

Ahundredbux posted:

when I tried to use the smart-house control app on my iphone it ended up controlling me instead

misty mountaintop posted:

I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson's Neil deGrasse Tyson.

misty mountaintop posted:

If you're so smart, why are you a house?

misty mountaintop posted:

If you're so smart, why are you a house?

social vegan posted:

....g-getting a new lease on life