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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > it sucks, being so intelligent
 
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Business Gorillas

:harambe:

mysterious frankie posted:

mom: for calling your science teacher "a peabrained mendicant" you're grounded for a week, mister.
me: I simply call it as I see it from my lofty intellectual perch, mother.
mom: well if you were so smart then why didn't you get away with it, huh?
me: well if you're so smart how come you didn't notice that you're talking to a tiger talkboy strapped to a bean bag wearing one of my signature poet shirts?
mom: *makes freaked out face as she realizes she's been owned by the best*
me: *driving away in her minivan, blaring hey man, nice shot*
* # ¿ Sep 25, 2016 15:27
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# ¿ May 3, 2024 11:17
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Business Gorillas

:harambe:



 Hello professor,

I wanted to let you know that I will be reporting to lecture in december as usual. I understand that the rest of the class will not be reporting to the university due to "Christmas break", but I adamantly oppose such trivialities to get in the way of my education. Not only do I not recognize the appropriated druidic times of Yule by a sham religion, but the presence of any sort of divine overlord is laughable at best. I am a man that adheres to the laws of common sense and reason. I have transcended the devout sheep that I have the misfortune of sharing a lecture hall with, who remind placated and blinded by the lesser "God" concept.

In any regard, I will be reporting at our scheduled time at university and I fully expect you to uphold your part of the student-tutor contract and be ready on december 25th with the proper scholastic materials.

Best Regards,
Business Gorillas

* # ¿ Sep 25, 2016 15:41
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Business Gorillas

:harambe:

FutonForensic posted:

me: It only makes sense that you would go out with me; it's rare for a youth like myself to achieve self-actualization, and that makes me desirable. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs?

her: excuse me?

me: Attachment theory. Classical conditioning? Psychosexual development!

her: you're just naming psychology theories--you have the textbook open right in front of you! friggin' stop it!!

me: Anal fixation! Anal fixation! Anal fixation!
* # ¿ Sep 25, 2016 16:47
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > it sucks, being so intelligent