FactsAreUseless posted:

Smart guy: I am Barack Obama. I am the logical president. I like to vote for logical things, such as XKCD comics or the television show Stephen Universe.

Dumb guy: I am columnist George F. Will. I like baseball, football, basketball, and just generally being a big dumb jock. I have sex all day, with many different kinds of women. My enemy is the logical president Barack Obama. We are rivals.

Smart guy: I will vote for health care. I will vote for overtime reform. I will vote for immigration enforcement changes. I am the logical man. I am Barack Obama.

Dumb guy: I am the powerful sex writer George F. Will. I have written about many things: taxes, Texas, ticks, and talking. I love sex. My penis is large, but my brain has a below-average number of folds.

Smart guy: I will destroy you with my sword. I will destroy you with my Japanese-style sword from a catalog. I remain Barack Obama, the president of logic.

Dumb guy: I also have a sword from a catalog, and mine has a confederate flag dragon on it. And yet, I am still George F. Will, the sex-having word master.

Smart guy: Then the heavens will shake.