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History's greatest rivalry, as we all know, is Bird Teams VS Cat Teams. Putting aside my personal allegiance here, I am opening this thread to track any head to head match ups between Bird Teams and Cat Teams, as well as keeping track of the record of each Bird Team and Cat Team. I will also post weekly analysis and compare each group to a particular bird or cat.  Okay let's go. --- CURRENT STANDINGSupdated 9/26/16 CAT TEAMS Lions 1-2-0 .333 81/85 0-1-0 1-1-0 L2 Panthers 1-2-0 .333 76/70 1-1-0 0-1-0 L1 Bengals 1-2-0 .333 56/75 0-1-0 1-1-0 L2 Jaguars 0-3-0 .000 54/84 0-2-0 0-1-0 L3 Current Cat Contemplation: MEDIOCRE The cat teams are off to a bad start. The Lions have been competitive in all three of their games, arguably less so this week as much of their point total came in the second half after the Packers went resolutely vanilla. Marvin Jones, my close personal friend, looks like possibly the best free agent signing of the offseason through three games. Cooterball looks good, albeit probably not playoff worthy in a strong NFC. The Panthers have been extremely inconsistent, and Cam Newton looks rattled. He is getting bad protection, cheap shotted a lot, and despite the resurgence of a healthy Kelvin Benjamin, their offense looks bad overall. One good game against a bad 49ers team does not count for a lot. My Bengals look inferior to last year's model, and the hopes that a healthy Eifert and a no longer suspended Burfict will improve our pretty bad defense are about all we've got going right now. Miami looks terrible, but the Bengals never beat Miami. This team could be 1-3 very easily. The Jaguars look terrible, and Gus Bradley is for sure getting fired this year. Cat Comparison: Like a cat that somebody abandoned when they moved away. It's starting to look a little unkempt, and mousing isn't cutting it any more. This cat needs a good home. BIRD TEAMS Eagles 3-0-0 1.000 92/27 2-0-0 1-0-0 W3 Ravens 3-0-0 1.000 57/44 1-0-0 2-0-0 W3 Seahawks 2-1-0 .667 52/37 2-0-0 0-1-0 W1 Falcons 1-1-0 .500 59/59 0-1-0 1-0-0 W1 Cardinals 1-2-0 .333 79/63 1-1-0 0-1-0 L1 Breaking Bird Blathering: GOOD TO GREAT The bird teams are starting off hot. The Eagles and Ravens are both undefeated through three weeks, although both teams face some big questions (Will Wentz fall to earth, will the Ravens ever play anybody good). The Seahawks seem about due to crash hard in spite of their winning record so far; no amount of nanobubbles will fix Russell Wilson's legs after he gets blown up for the millionth time. Their defense still looks about as good as ever. The Falcons are, uh, well, still the Falcons? What is there to be said about this team. Anywhere between 10-6 or 4-12 wouldn't surprise me. Julio Jones is all nicked up and keeps playing through minor ailments, and has not been the usual gamebreaker through two games. The Cardinals, man, who even knows? After losing to the biggest non-Cleveland joke in the league, can anybody say they have any idea what's up with this team, beyond Carson Palmer being a coward and a shook rear end bitch fraud? John Skelton ain't walkin through that door. Bird Bomparison: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxGuNJ-nEYg Carson Palmer is the chick that doesn't make it. --- Tonight the Falcons play the Saints. What will happen? Will a cat run onto the field, attacking Vic Beasley? Will he be able to sack the cat, before it scratches him? (No.) 
Bismack Billabongo fucked around with this message at 21:27 on Sep 26, 2016 |
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Sep 26, 2016 17:27
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Go cat teams
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Sep 26, 2016 17:33
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Bird Gang...assemble!
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Sep 26, 2016 17:37
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Shath Hole posted:Bird Gang...assemble! 
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Sep 26, 2016 17:39
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Shath Hole posted:Bird Gang...assemble! what up. also this thread is a great idea.
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Sep 26, 2016 18:25
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cats imo
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Sep 26, 2016 18:29
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 Birdgang, bitch! its all nice on rice fucked around with this message at 22:41 on Sep 26, 2016 |
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Sep 26, 2016 18:35
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jp9DpiOjM7k
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Sep 26, 2016 18:38
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FizFashizzle posted:cats imo cats disagree    
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Sep 26, 2016 18:39
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Shath Hole posted:Bird Gang...assemble! Form of a majestic eagle
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Sep 26, 2016 18:42
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NotWearingPants posted:cats disagree This is unnatural, and has no place in this thread.
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Sep 26, 2016 18:46
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cats
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Sep 26, 2016 18:49
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Why aren't there any dog teams
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Sep 26, 2016 18:50
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Scoreboard http://www.philipcarr-gomm.com/cats-blamed-for-the-extinction-of-33-species/ Go Jags
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Sep 26, 2016 18:52
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Sep 26, 2016 18:53
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Intruder posted:Why aren't there any dog teams
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Sep 26, 2016 18:55
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Hmm yes. Birds, I think.
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Sep 26, 2016 18:59
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Pending the results of tonight's Saints/Falcons game, here's your WEEK FOUR UPCOMING ANALYSIS Kicking off Week 4 is what will certainly be a CATastrophe of a game, Dolphins at Bengals. Historically the Bengals always lose to the Dolphins, usually with a backbreaking injury or safety involved. Will a forums poster correctly predict the exact final outcome of the game like last time? I'm willing to go on record with my prediction: Andy Dalton. On Sunday we start off with the first London game of the year between the Colts and Jaguars. Shad Khan has displayed a lot of patience but with the Jags getting a bye in week 5, will Gus Bradley get fired if they lose this game? Probably. It's the first Win Or Don't Come Back Bowl of the year. Five of our Bird and Cat teams are active in the batch of early games on Sunday. Without a doubt, the main contest of the bunch is our second Cat V Bird showdown of the season, as the Panthers take on the Falcons. I'm loathe to predict divisional games, but I 100% guarantee a Cat Team victory here. Meanwhile, we have Lions @ Bears, Seahawks @ Jets, and Raiders @ Ravens. The Bears are freefalling, and present an excellent opportunity for the Lions to get back to .500. After a nightmare performance against KC, I'd be surprised to see Ryan Fitzpatrick rebound against the tough Seahawks D. Finally, as much as I hate to predict any losses for the teams this thread is concerned with, I think the Raiders steal one in Baltimore as Jihad Ward detonates Joe Flacco's iron dick. In the afternoon batch of games comes our final matchup of importance, as the Rams travel to play the Cardinals. The Rams seem bad, but the Cardinals got thoroughly outplayed by the loving Bills, so who can really say what happens here? I predict the Cardinals squeak by with a win, but Carson Palmer has his second straight shaky performance. The Eagles are off Week 4. What kind of exotic game will Carson Wentz bag this week, and will the rest of the bird conference throw him out for his love of turkey hunting? Stay tuned... Bismack Billabongo fucked around with this message at 19:07 on Sep 26, 2016 |
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Sep 26, 2016 19:05
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What? No Horse team?! Chargers Broncos Colts
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Sep 26, 2016 19:14
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The chargers current logo has no horse in it. As such I disqualify them as a horse team, despite their horse mascot. Also, get out of my thread. No horses allowed.
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Sep 26, 2016 19:18
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Might as well put the Bears and rams in with the horse teams.
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Sep 26, 2016 19:20
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Anaranjado posted:Kicking off Week 4 is what will certainly be a CATastrophe of a game, Dolphins at Bengals. Historically the Bengals always lose to the Dolphins, usually with a backbreaking Carson is grouse hunting this week, according to the man himself.
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Sep 26, 2016 19:49
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the Cardinals are in reference to the directions rather than the bird or religious figures so you may want to stop covering them. Similar to the thing where people think the chargers are horse-related when it's about credit cards. goodbye for a short time
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Sep 26, 2016 19:50
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Shath Hole posted:Bird Gang...assemble! By our powers combined... 
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Sep 26, 2016 19:59
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The Ravens are really about a poem. The Panthers are about a civil rights group. The Jaguars are a car team
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Sep 26, 2016 20:00
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Seahawks are about havin a good time ya dig Hey baby lets Go Hawks
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Sep 26, 2016 20:02
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Intruder posted:The Ravens are really about a poem. The Panthers are about a civil rights group. The Jaguars are a car team Bengals are a state in India. Falcons are a character from F-Zero.
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Sep 26, 2016 20:22
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No, I did not swoop down upon a small child, carrying him away while his pants looked on in horror. Yes, I did poop in a box and then paw ineffectively at the air to cover up the smell.
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Sep 26, 2016 20:33
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Sep 26, 2016 20:34
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FIRST TIME posted:Bengals are a state in India.
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Sep 26, 2016 20:34
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FIRST TIME posted:Bengals are a state in India. The Bengals are the hot bitches from the 80s
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Sep 26, 2016 20:38
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Hi I just want to say a big hearty gently caress You to OP for that bird video. I didn't want to cry today
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Sep 26, 2016 20:40
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Shath Hole posted:Bird Gang...assemble!  gently caress cat teams, go bird teams 
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Sep 26, 2016 20:39
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In time, cats will drive the birds to utter ruin and annihilation.
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Sep 26, 2016 20:43
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Shath Hole posted:The Bengals are the hot bitches from the 80s They give me Pacman Fever.
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Sep 26, 2016 20:50
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Cats are good but cat teams are bad and the Panthers are the worst.
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Sep 26, 2016 20:50
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Cruel and Unusual posted:In time, cats will drive the birds to utter ruin and annihilation. Cat team Super Bowls: 0 Bird team Super Bowls: more than 0
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Sep 26, 2016 20:52
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FAT BATMAN posted:I didn't want to cry today Why not?
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Sep 26, 2016 20:53
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Chichevache posted:Cat team Super Bowls: 0 Thank you Seahawks and Ravens. Eagles and Falcons needs to step the gently caress up, they are clearly more dominant in the animal kingdom why is it not translating into human football 
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Sep 26, 2016 21:02
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Shath Hole posted:Thank you Seahawks and Ravens. Eagles and Falcons needs to step the gently caress up, they are clearly more dominant in the animal kingdom why is it not translating into human football Yeah, don't even bother asking the Cardinals.
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Sep 26, 2016 21:24
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