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Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
This thread is to post funny or interesting stories from r/relationships and discuss them. The previous thread was one of the many casualties of the previous GBS; hopefully this one does better.

Remember:

1) Don't touch the poop.

2) Try not to go on pages long derails about your superior sex life.

3) Don't talk about how cool your relationships or sex life is; no one cares.

4) Don't defend pedophilia. Just don't.

5) Don't post rape/abuse stories.

quote:

I (22F) think my boyfriend (24M) is in love with his lesbian coworker

Been with my boyfriend (Tim) for about 6months now, and he is my first real relationship. I've had some issues with guys in the past (messed around, been cheated with etc.) so I am still a little distrustful and wary of guys, with my self-esteem a little in tatters.

Tim works a lot and is really close with his co-workers. Especially this one girl we shall call Sophie. Sophie is really sweet and lovely, and I like her. Sophie also happens to be gay. Tim spends a lot of time with her, outside of work especially, and he always seems a little bit "over the top" when he is with her.

For example, I came to visit Tim at work and he ignored me the entire time and just spoke to Sophie the whole time, laughing at her jokes as if she were the most hilarious person in the world. Now I realise I have self-esteem issues and this is probably the cause of all this (she's gay it doesn't matter etc.) but he really isn't meeting me halfway.

I have spoken to him multiple times, sat him down and told him: "look, I feel uncomfortable about how much time you spend with Sophie, I have some self-esteem issues and it makes me feel sad and a little worthless". It all goes well and good, until later that evening he goes out to dinner with her! He lied and said he was going with multiple co-workers, but it was just her.

We had a proper heart-to-heart recently, and I told him everything I was feeling (about how I love him, but he doesn't "love" me in my way but eventually he will in "his" way?) and he was saying he has issues with expression himself emotionally. It felt really good to get it all out and I believed we were on the way to fixing things. But now he's just accepted to go on holiday with Sophie and 2 other girls. And he doesn't know why that upsets me.

So reddit, what am I to do?? He of course says that it's a platonic relationship between him and Sophie and they're just friends, but I can't help but feel that if she wasn't gay, he'd choose her over me. I'm trying really hard to work on my insecurities but he isn't meeting me halfway at all. What can I say/do to make him realise that it hurts regardless of her sexuality?

tl;dr: I think boyfriend is in love with lesbian coworker, won't meet me halfway to stop spending so much time with her, and I just insecure?

quote:

Husband's [28M] cat constantly scratches me [27F] and my stuff

We're newlyweds, and my husband's frisky, playful cat "Meowster" frequently scratches me. I know he's "our" cat now, but I'm not used to fearing for my skin being punctured in my own home. Meowster likes to bat at anything that moves, and anything dangly or stringy, like my hair. Batting at my hair quickly turns into clawing at my neck and/or back. I've had multiple scratches and skin punctures, some of which have bled. Meowster is not vicious though; he just has a really high prey drive. Meowster scratches my husband too, though he doesn't seem to mind much. In fact, on our wedding day, my husband had two red claw marks from Meowster on his forehead. People asked him about it all night long.

Meowster can jump on most counters and tables. My husband squirts him with water when he catches Meowster on the dining table, but he thinks most of Meowster's antics are adorable. Meowster chews and scratches shoes, all articles of clothing left on the ground or couch or chairs, and pretty much anything he can get his claws on. He has ruined my husband's leather dining table chairs with his claws, chewed through at least one cable, and broke the first gift I ever got my husband when we were dating.

To make matters worse, one of my in-laws jokingly implied to other relatives that I made my fiance-at-the-time get a cat knowing that my in-laws do not like cats so that they wouldn't want to drop by our place.

Unfortunately, getting a cat was indeed my suggestion, though my husband got our cat months before our wedding, months before we moved in together, and with me being minimally involved in the process. (My husband's friend feeds some stray cats, and one of the cats had kittens. My husband heard frequent updates on one of the kittens from his friend, and excitedly asked me if it was okay to adopt Meowster, without us being able to meet him first. Knowing he was super attached to the kitten already, I said, if he wants to take 100% responsibility for Meowster, I'm okay with the adoption.) Everyone thinks I made him get the cat, which I most definitely did not, as I wanted us to have settled into our marriage first, and to eventually pick out an adult cat together who's a great personality fit for us.

I had initially suggested a cat because my husband wouldn't let us get a dog. My good friend has one of the sweetest, most lovable kitties in existence. I love that fat bundle of fluff, and wanted to get one just like her. Little did I know, I would end up with frequent skin punctures.

tl;dr: Husband's cat attacks me. In-laws think I made husband get the cat to keep them away. Husband thinks I'm being mean by complaining about his "baby".

quote:

Me 21F with my FWB 23M duration, He cant seem to stay aroused during sex.

So whenever my FWB(John) and I have sex he seems to get about half hard or when he does get hard he loses it quickly and never finishes. I try to be very kind and reassuring about it. John tells me that he often gets anxiety and feels pressure, but he can watch porn, get hard and then finish. John also has a thing for anal stimulation, and he has told me he is only into girls. John has a history of anxiety and I want to be able to help him finish during sex.

tl;dr: My FWB does not finish during sex, how can I help him?

Gaunab fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Nov 28, 2018

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ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006
what is a 'relationship' ?

BIG PUFFY NIPS
Mar 7, 2007

College Slice
whats a FWB?

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

by VideoGames
Fuckin' Wuss Baby (friends w/ benefits)

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

In the ninth grade, one of my close friends told her boyfriend that I was her cousin so he wouldn't be suspicious of all the time we spent alone. Sophie is not his cousin. She's also not a lesbian.

Also isn't the point of being fwb that you're just friends that gently caress. Why are you friends with benefits with somebody who isn't benefiting you.

BIG PUFFY NIPS
Mar 7, 2007

College Slice

Bust Rodd posted:

Fuckin' Wuss Baby (friends w/ benefits)

but doesnt sound like there are many benefits to that friendship hehehehe

TehRedWheelbarrow
Mar 16, 2011



Fan of Britches
thanks OP for the 3rd valiant attempt

quote:

My boy works away a lot and it obviously puts stress and strain on our relationship. It natural, but if instead of getting mad at him for stupid little things (ie) him not calling me, him not doing something i wanted) and freaking out for 20 minutes and then feeling super bad about it, I just send him nudes.

Before someone says I'm controlling in the comments, I am really not, when I say hes not doing something I asked, its usually something like asking him to wear gloves at work because his hands are so cut up.
Or to not live off of mr noodles that he makes in a coffee pot while he is working 12 hours a day.
Honestly, would it not like make him more willing to call me when I ask? I feel like it would probably put less stress onto him and would still allow me to do something to chill me out also.

I just wonder if this idea is crazy or if its not half bad.

tl;dr: Angry nudes???


quote:

Right, this is probably going to be massive but I need to get my thoughts out and hopefully get some sane advice as I'm not feeling very sane at the moment. I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my second child. My partner (let's call him George) also has a child of a similar age. This will be our first child together.

George and I have been together a year. We had known each other as friends for about 5 years before becoming an item, and things moved pretty quickly. We had a pretty hardcore BDSM lifestyle with him being the dominant and me being the submissive.
There wasn't any thought of babies but we began teasing each other and I got pregnant the first time we slept together without contraception, idiotic but we were both over the moon as it took both of us such a long time to get pregnant with our previous partners.

Things got a lot more real once I became pregnant and obviously the BDSM stuff fell by the wayside as an unsafe practise during pregnancy.
With our relationship being tempestuous at best there was never any inclination to move in together, especially considering his career- he basically makes videos with prostitutes to improve their online profiles. Before pregnancy I was fine with this, but during the pregnancy I am not fine with it, and he has stopped making videos and become monogamous as far as I'm aware, although he is still photographing naked ladies, which I try to be ok with. It's not as though he is going to change his job.

The main issue is his drinking problem. He goes on 3 day-a week benders and I don't like to be around him when he's like that. If I do go over to spend a night with him, he wants to stay up til 7am or later drinking and having friends round in the middle of the night. It's really boring being sober while he drinks and repeats himself.

I moved into a new place about a month ago and have been attempting to redecorate, unpack, and organise as well as preparing for baby to be born. He has been over twice during that time and has given me about an hour's help with painting. When I tell him I need his help, he says he's just not good at that stuff. He had never even painted a wall before at age 44!
We can analyse him as being the very spoilt only child of well off parents, who has never had to do anything he didn't want to. It's not really relevant to my point though, just an aside really. His parents bought him his house and pay his child maintenance for his son (who he adores, sees him every couple of weeks) so he only has to fund his lifestyle through his photography, which he adores, and what man wouldn't, taking pics of dominatrices and nubile 20 something prostitutes!

Saturday just gone I spoke to him at 10am. He was thoroughly repentant (again) and apologised profusely for not being there for me, as he had been on a heavy drinking session for the last week. He promised to spend the day with me and spoil me, take me out for lunch, take me home and gently caress me, then take me out for dinner as well. He just needed a couple more hours sleep.
At 1pm I got a phone call from George telling me our friends were at his and I should go round and join them. I told him in no uncertain terms that we were supposed to have the day together and I didn't want to hang around with him drunk. He said he wasn't drinking, although with those particular friends this blatantly was untrue.

He texted me at 3pm again asking me to join him and friends. I said no, today was about us and he'd gotten drunk again. I cried down the phone to him.

He rang me at 10pm saying please come round, so I did, assuming that he would have got rid of people. I walked into a smoky room with lines of Coke on the table, and walked straight back out, I was livid. People were saying just come in and have a drink. I screamed, I hit him in the chest to get him out of the doorway, I hyperventilated, telling everyone he had promised to spend the day with me and had been drinking for the last 9 hours. George told me I was ruining everyone's night.

I jumped in my car and sped off, hitting the steering wheel and crying. I was driving so badly I mounted the curb and nearly crashed my car, so I sat there for a while trying to calm down. I called him and screamed at him. I called him every name under the sun. He told me that I was being selfish and irresponsible by getting this stressed out with his baby inside me. ME!! I hung up and cried for a bit longer before going to another friends for a glass of wine and a chat. He then called me and asked if I was drinking. I told him he had driven me to it, what a loving cheek! (I still only had one glass).

He then turned up at our friend's house with the friends from his house like its loving party time, laughing and joking. I attempted to enjoy it but they were all so drunk I just left while they were doing lines in the bedroom and attempting to hide it.
Spoke by text a bit after that and he was terribly apologetic, my friends turfed him out not long after I left so he was alone and feeling sorry for himself. I was still crying, and ended up going over to his at 2am because I just desperately needed a hug. I told him I didn't want to speak, just get into bed and shut up. He's very charismatic and got me laughing again, then got out of bed and made pizza as I hadn't eaten properly all day.

I then attempted to get him to come back upstairs to bed at about 6am. He said he'd be up in 5 minutes, so I sat on Reddit in bed for about half an hour waiting for my hug. I got dressed and went downstairs, he was just sitting there drinking alone and watching early morning tv. I screamed at him that watching the fishing channel and drinking alone was more important than my needs. I left.

He's been working the past couple of days so I've not heard from him much, then he texted me tonight asking if I wanted to go out for pizza as my daughter is at her grandparents. I'm still so loving angry at him, so I said some horrible things. To be honest I don't even want to get out of my pj's, I've not left my bed all day, I'm fed up of being pregnant and a single parent. He's like a loving child that I can't control, what sort of dad will he be? I just can't bear to be around him.

Of course I still love him- he's intelligent, charismatic, charming, and just fantastic company, I'm in awe of him. He's so strong, and strong willed in a way that I adore. But his selfishness has ruined our relationship and I don't know how to change things. He is aware that he has a problem, admits it, then goes back into the same pattern. He promised me weeks ago he'd stop drinking so I could call him for a lift to the hospital when I go into labour. But after a long session, he sleeps for up to a day and often forgets to take his phone to bed with him. What if he misses the birth, or worse, turns up drunk to the labour ward? I just don't know how to deal with this and feel like I shouldn't have to.

He says it will all be different when the baby is here, but if he can't support me now then why should I allow him access to the baby whenever he wants?

Wow this got long, thanks for sticking with it if you read all the way through.

TL;DR: drunk pornographer boyfriend lacks responsibility, heavily pregnant girlfriend lacks patience.
:eyepop:
(spaced out because goddamn all clumped together is hard to read)

TehRedWheelbarrow fucked around with this message at 23:12 on Sep 27, 2016

gentle pete
Feb 21, 2015

by Nyc_Tattoo

quote:

My [28f] fiance's [31m] fetish is getting out of control, and it's ruining our wedding planning.

I'm using a throwaway account because I'm humiliated about how this has been going.

I have been seeing a wonderful man for two years now. About six months ago he proposed to me, and since then I've been elated. We have eagerly been planning our wedding and things seem to be clicking between us. I said yes to my dress, invited about 75 guests, and our wedding is set for this December.

Here's where things get complicated. My fiance enjoys the idea of me being with other men. And yes, before you ask, he is bisexual. We have played out this fantasy consistently over the past couple of years, and I enjoy it as well... for the most part. Some of the time I don't know what he's thinking with his requests. About a year ago, he asked me to "steal" his credit card and take my other boyfriend to an expensive restaurant, treat him to dinner, and then have sex with him in a good hotel. I did all of this and sent pictures. It drove him wild.

Gradually the fetish began to involve turning him into a "sissy." He would be very submissive around me during sexual times, and ask that I talk about my experiences with other men, past and present. Again, I obliged.

So, again, I don't mind at all. I'm sexually open minded and if it makes him happy, then I'm happy too. But now it's getting completely out of control, and is starting to leak into our wedding planning. He seems to be more excited about using this as a chance to get his rocks off than actually start a life with me.

For instance, early on, he asked if my other boyfriend could walk me down the aisle. Since my father is dead, I was planning on my brother doing it, but he wants my boyfriend to do it instead. Many of our guests know about the nature of our relationship so he said it wouldn't be a big deal, but it was just too weird for me to even consider. I put my foot down and said no. He reluctantly gave up on the idea, although my other boyfriend will be attending (the three of us are also good friends, so it's natural for him to be there).

Later on he suggested that on our wedding night, my boyfriend be the first person to have sex with me when married. He would be in the room, which is not usual but has happened before, and then cuddle up next to me when we were finished. I agreed to this because whatever, I want him to enjoy our wedding night too.

Today was too much. Our venue has a special service (I think it's special at least?) where during the ceremony and beginning of the reception, they will take a video, and then at the end of the reception show it on a big screen matched to music. We have a certain deal of freedom over how they'll arrange the end product, and while it's expensive, we both agreed that it would be a nice touch. At the very end of the credits though, when brainstorming a last goodbye comment, he suddenly suggested that the video end with something like "Now get to your hotel room and prep the bull you sissy."

I feel sick to my stomach. Has his fetish grown so out of control that he wants me to humiliate him in front of all of our friends and family for sexual gratification? He's never been this way, and I love him as much as ever before, but I need to put a stop to this soon and I don't even know how. He gets so excited when ideas like these come up and has gotten angry at me for saying "no" to his other wedding planning ideas too much.

tl;dr: Fiance and I are into hotwifing/roleplaying/sissy fantasizing, he wants to involve this in the wedding, what do I do?

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

How far in do you have to be to need your wedding guests to know you're about to get cucked to get off?

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

Bud K ninja sword posted:

thanks OP for the 3rd valiant attempt


:eyepop:
(spaced out because goddamn all clumped together is hard to read)

:stonk: what the hell


how is this one worse than the one before it

how are these people in relationships

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Bud K ninja sword posted:

thanks OP for the 3rd valiant attempt


:eyepop:
(spaced out because goddamn all clumped together is hard to read)

Jesus Christ. Her life is hosed.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My [22F] bf [24M] of 2 years keeps insisting I sleep without a bra on. I don't feel comfortable

Ive had my boobs sneak up on me at an early age and Ive hated them ever since. Because of this Ive basically always worn bras even during sleep times as they're big and I sleep on my tummy so it gets uncomfortable if they're all over the place if that makes sense ?.

I also wear pretty tight bras (sports bras or normal thin material bras that are just as strong tight/full coverage as sports bras) as it makes my boobs appear more proportionate to my small body frame. Combine that with a loose shirt and I no longer get the whole "omg why would you get a boob job at such a young age, you should be happy with who you are" BS. And of course no one ever believes you when you explain that you actually didnt get one. "of course you didnt dear, and I was born yesterday" OKAY. So as you can see tight spots bras have been my savior and Ive gotten use to them a lot. to me theyre incredibly comfortable

My bf however is convinced that woman like to walk around without a bra if they could and everyone he knows cant wait till they get home to take that bra off. And here I am being a prude and wont even take them off during sleep!.

I tried telling him the issue and he went and searched some stupid online crap that basically said "woman with big boobs hate bras and can't wait to take them off"

He thinks Im keeping the bra on because I dont want him to touch me during the night but that ultimately Im not comfortable which is not the case at all. He keeps insisting he wont touch me and that I should be comfortable in his bed (hes convinced when Im in my bed I must sleep without them).

How do I knock some sense into him ? is it really that rare for woman to sleep with a bra on.

tl;dr: Bf is convinced that I sleep with a bra on because I dont want him to touch me. I cant sleep without a bra but he wont listen.

quote:

I (28f) am falling in love with husbands (32m) brother (35m) and I want him gone

I want to kick my BIL out

Me and my husband have been married 8 years and have 3 children together I'm SAHM he works construction we are very very happy together , rarely fight, have tons of fun together ect ect.

Now Hubby's brother came to live with us just over a year ago when he fell on hard times it was all good until now. I feel like I'm falling in love with him! I don't know any other way to describe it other than a very very intense feeling, I want him so bad it makes me feel sick. He makes me smile and I want him around all the time. It disgusts me.. he is not attractive or anything special I don't know where this is coming from

And the problem is he IS around ALL the time as he is not working at the moment so we spend too much time around each other. When he is around I am nice and flirty (unintentional) then as soon as he leaves I am disgusted with myself. I dream about him almost every night

I love my husband very very much and would NEVER cheat, we have an amazing Sex life so nothing lacking there. I don't want to feel like this all the time I'm miserable! Going from being extremely horny and wanting to bang BIL all the time to being extremely disgusted with myself ......all day long .

I want him out!!! I can't tell my hubby how I feel obviously and I don't think BIL has a clue (thankfully) I don't know what to do here people? help!

TL;DR: falling in love /lust with BIL want to kick him out, can't tell hubby, know one knows help

quote:

My [23F] boyfriend [24M] cheated and I forgave him, but I keep feeling like I need to cheat to get back at him??

Basically, Josh* and I have been together two and a half years, we had a bad patch a year ago and he cheated on me, I was absolutely disgusted and heartbroken when I found out almost nine months later from the girl he'd cheated with. He copped a lot from me, because he never came forward and told me, and I was so so mad at him. He apologised, he'd been a lovely person to me. But I decided to forgive him because I loved him and we'd worked through all of the problems we had in that time. He said he never wanted to tell me because he was afraid he'd lose me.

It's been about two months since I was told everything, and I've grilled him on it a hundred times, each time he's answered all my questions, and his story hasn't changed so I know he's not lying about it. He's horrible at remembering lies he's told, so gets caught out easily.

But recently I can't help but feel like I need to cheat on him, or do something horrible to get back at him. I don't think I could go through with it, and I'm not sure if I'm just feeling this way because I'm so emotional from everything. I keep planning things in my head, but never actually initiating anything with other people. I don't know how to get over this, or if it's something I should tell him?

tl;dr: Boyfriend cheated, I forgave him. Now I feel like I need to cheat/get back at him in a way that would hurt him. Not sure if this will pass or what my problem is

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
can we also post from r/polyamory or is that shooting fish in a barrel?

cubicle gangster
Jun 26, 2005

magda, make the tea

Rutibex posted:

can we also post from r/polyamory or is that shooting fish in a barrel?

Most of that exceptionally boring and leads to goons having bad opinions.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Rutibex posted:

can we also post from r/polyamory or is that shooting fish in a barrel?

Cubicle gangster is right. Polyamory stories are a magnet for thread derailments.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Bud K ninja sword posted:

thanks OP for the 3rd valiant attempt


:eyepop:
(spaced out because goddamn all clumped together is hard to read)

I could mainline this and it would be amazing, holy poo poo what a trainwreck.

Poly stories pretty much all go the same, immature nerds with poor boundries run each other over emotionally. There isn't likely to be any "this isn't an ultimatum, I'm breaking up with you." levels of greatness there.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Rutibex posted:

can we also post from r/polyamory or is that shooting fish in a barrel?

I suggest making a separate thread

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!

Rutibex posted:

can we also post from r/polyamory or is that shooting fish in a barrel?

It's too easy.

quote:

So I'm pretty new to this, my husband and I have had lovers before, but these were really just sexy friends. Anyway, one of these sexy friends turned into a best friend, which turned into what is shaping up to be a polyrelationship. We're all really happy, he's living with us for a few weeks after his new soon to be roommates found bedbugs, there's even talks about the three of us potential moving in together for real (we're not there yet, but we've all sort of mentioned it).
Anyways, for the best poly moment ever: they were spooning me in bed the other night, with me in the middle, and I said "I love you guys" and they both said back at the same time "I love you too." It was just perfect. I didn't set out to be poly at all, but I'm really happy with my life and the two men in it! So yeah, gushing.

quote:

I've been seeing "my boyfriend" for 4 months now. We're head over heels for each other and we've been dancing around saying "I love you". Recently I noticed some red flags and I decided that I would really go digging online to see if I could either reassure myself or find something to confirm my gut feeling.
Well, I found it. A blog post from his supposed "ex" girlfriend from last week talking about how great her boyfriend is. Complete with photos.
We're not supposed to see each other for a week. I don't want to confront him over the phone- I am so angry and I want to do this in person. I don't know what to do. I'm just absolutely gutted, oh my god.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
I'm going to pwn you if you argue about nonsense in this thread.

Safety Scissors
Feb 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
:wtf: is up with gentle pete's avatar? Did he kill a dog?

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Page one and I already can't decide which is the biggest trainwreck in the thread

Leaning toward the cuck wedding one, and I'm not sure whether it makes it more or less weird that the wife isn't really "into" it and is just kinda going along with it

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!
I never shave my body hair. What's wrong with my boyfriend?

quote:

Long time lurker, first time poster. I'll try to keep this short! My boyfriend and I have been in a good relationship for about 8 months. Not perfect, of course, but definitely worth staying in.
The biggest issue I'm having with the relationship is that he really wants me to shave my body hair. I decided long before I met my boyfriend that shaving my body hair just really wasn't for me.

This is for three reasons:
*I have eczema, and shaving even with the most blades possible and with the nicest shaving cream, it still gives me flare ups. This is mostly an issue in my armpits, but it can happen on my legs too.
*While I like the feeling of smooth, freshly shaven legs (before the itchy, flaky eczema sets in), I don't really see how shaving benefits me in any meaningful way that warrants the amount of time and energy it requires.

I've told him these two things a few times, but he still brings it up. I do shave my legs for very special occasions, like a wedding. But generally I'll go months without shaving. I do maintenance "down there" as a courtesy for him, though.

The one reason I haven't told him about is that my first boyfriend about 5 years ago was basically OBSESSED with my leg hair. Any time I would get a little prickly he would make a big deal about it and not hang out with me until I shaved. It was an awful relationship in many ways but 16-year-old me thought that was normal and didn't have the self esteem to think she deserved any better. But now every time he says "you should shave" or texts me asking if I'd "be willing to shave soon" it gives me that same slimy feeling I got back then.

I don't tell that many people about that first relationship, and my boyfriends since then have not had issues (at least that they expressed to me) about my body hair.

It has almost gotten to the point of me just telling him that if body hair matters to him so much, he should find a girlfriend that wants to shave. I don't ask him to do anything to his appearance for me, so I don't really see it as fair that he expects me to put a lot of effort into my appearance. I've asked him if he'd shave his legs if it really mattered to me, but he has always just shrugged it off as a ridiculous idea. I don't understand why my saying no isn't the end of the conversation with this. Does he not think I'm serious or does he not care/think my reasons are valid?

I do like this relationship a lot, so I'd rather not end it over body hair. My question(s) is how do I (calmly) get across to him that I'm not going to start shaving my legs for him? Do I tell him about my first BF and how awful all that was? I have a habit of being argumentative so I'd appreciate any advice on how to keep the conversation calm.

TehRedWheelbarrow
Mar 16, 2011



Fan of Britches

quote:

Growing up, it was me [25] my sister [29] and my mom [50] and dad [52.]
My parents were pretty young when they had my sister and I; they didn't go to college, they owned a business that was always on the verge of failing. They constantly had blow-out fights all the time. We were pretty poor growing up, but I didn't really realize it until I was a teenager.

My parents got divorced when I was 11. My mom fought for sole custody of my sister and I and traumatized us both in the process doing every single thing they tell you not to (both telling the kids wayyy too much info, taking us into the court, etc.)

When I was around 13, I was living with my mom, and she was sort of just living her own life. She'd go out on dates and trips and long weekends and leave us up to our own devices. This is around the time that I realized I was on my own here and I better figure my poo poo out.
Mom ended up losing our house when I was 15 and my sister and her went to live with my grandmother. At that time, I had managed to graduate HS 2 years early and I was taking all of my classes at college (which was about 2 hours from where grandma lived.) So I ended up bouncing around between friends houses and my boyfriend (at the time) house until 18 when I transferred to a 4-year college and got an apartment with a friend.

To put it briefly, I worked my rear end off to get good grades in school. I also worked as much as I could to pay my rent, bills, gas, etc. There were many times when I used nickels to put gas in my car to get to class, and many times I went to bed hungry or ate saltine crackers.
Fast-forward to now: I got my degree, and then also got my master's degree. I also met the love of my life, got married (paid for that myself too), and bought a house. Life is pretty good right now, I've got a good job, and my husband and I are really settling in.

The issue: Somewhere since I got my degree, my mother has become increasingly dependent on me. It's like she never actually grew up. She cant keep a job. She gets a job, has it for awhile then gets laid off or terminated for various reasons (but its NEVER her fault!) She got unemployment for awhile, and then didn't even start looking for a job until the unemployment ran out (duh!) She cannot figure out how to budget, or pay her bills. She's always behind on things and calls me in a dire panic every single time. I've paid her car insurance, electricity and health insurance bills countless times. I pay for her cell phone. I've really worked on drawing boundaries with her, but it's ALWAYS an emergency. She has health problems, to make matters worse. She will say she can't afford her medications, doesnt have any food in her house, etc. I go between getting pissed that she can't just figure this poo poo out herself and then feeling guilty for not helping her (especially when its health issue) and giving in.

The worse part is that she's whiny, and talking to her feels like trying to reason with a moody 13 or 14 yr old. She is genuinely emotionally at times at that level. She will throw tantrums, she has threatened to kill herself when I don't give in, I could go on and on.
I've been to therapy for this. It really didn't really seem to help me and I just quit going because it was kind of depressing.
But I can't live like this. I really fear for the future because she's so dependent on me now at age 50, what does the future look like? I really fear this will prevent me from being able to start my own family and have my own life. There is NOBODY else either. Pretty much everyone in the family has limited ties with her. They havent disowned her, but she's burned every bridge and nobody really wants to help her.

tl;dr: My [25F] mother [50F] is financially and emotionally dependent on me, but she's really exhausting to deal with because she acts like a 13 yr old and never gets her life together. I can't cut her off because she has legitimate health issues and she has nobody else.

Libelous Slander
May 1, 2009

... you're just creepy ...

Let me talk to her.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

quote:

My [13M] sister [16F] is 6 months pregnant. I'm getting very tired of having to do things for her.

Hello, so I don't know that much about pregnant woman. All I know is that they give birth and that's it. I'm having trouble understanding why I need to do things for her. Why does this baby prevent her from doing stuff herself. It's just annoying because my sister [14F] has a broken leg and I need to help her with things around the house. She broke it in track, she tried to jump over this hurdle and did not make it. My other sister is pregnant and the father says he wants nothing to do with the child.

What do I do, because it's early in the morning. I have to go to school with my sister [14F] and my other sister is home schooled.

tl;dr: Sister is pregnant and I have to do everything for her and sister with broken leg

TehRedWheelbarrow
Mar 16, 2011



Fan of Britches

:froggonk:

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

quote:

My [21 F] boyfriend [23 M] cheated on me, and is now blaming me for it

I was only with my boyfriend for 6 months, my first relationship, but we fell in love fast. I've never met anyone like him in my life and he said we were soul mates after a few dates. Within a month, he was already talking about getting married and having children together.

A few months later, things started to get more complicated. He started texting constantly with his ex who he had previously told me was crazy. I tried to be cool about this at first, but then they were flirting on Instagram too, and it really started to upset me. He told me I was being jealous and clingy.

Then he started calling me chubby, when he used to say I was the most beautiful person he's ever seen. If I tried to stand up for myself he would laugh and say I was being too sensitive. He said he was obviously joking, but it hurt my feelings. He went from texting me every minute to ignoring me for entire days, and getting annoyed if I tried to initiate communication.

He was always telling me about the other girls who love him so much, but that he only wanted me. It made me feel really special. But a few weeks ago he dumped me and the next day shared pictures on IG with a new girl, commenting that she is his "soul mate". He uses all the same words with her that he did with me.

I felt so sick but I didn't want to lash out. I stopped looking at his IG and am trying to focus on my studies. I can't sleep, I feel depressed and anxious all the time.

Last night, he messaged me and said I have to give him his sweatshirt back. He sent the message through Facebook, where his new picture is with that girl. I don't have any sweatshirt from him, so I didn't reply. He wrote back again a few hours later and said "You don't have to be bitter about this. Grow up."

This made me so angry, I wrote back and told him to leave me alone. He said it was my fault our relationship didn't work and said I was crazy. He said I should talk to a shrink and figure out my issues.

I've never felt so low in my life. I lost my virginity to him and I still feel so sexually attracted to him. I keep hoping he'll dump her and want to come back to me. Even as I write this out, I know that sounds stupid. I don't know why I love him still. I feel worthless. I was always so full of energy and joy, it's gone now.

tl;dr: Boyfriend cheated on me, said it was because I'm crazy. Feeling really low and wanting to know how to move forward.

TIL breaking up with someone and then dating someone else is cheating

or was talking with his ex on Instagram cheating??? Having trouble figuring out which part of this story is cheating, pls help

LGD
Sep 25, 2004

loquacius posted:

Page one and I already can't decide which is the biggest trainwreck in the thread

Leaning toward the cuck wedding one, and I'm not sure whether it makes it more or less weird that the wife isn't really "into" it and is just kinda going along with it

I feel like in terms of real life consequences being pregnant with the child of an insanely irresponsible alcoholic is probably much worse than being engaged to a humiliation fetishist who is escalating and seems fixated on the ultimate opportunity to gratify himself. You can actually sort of "solve" the second problem with some serious and open communication with your partner to figure out if you actually are on the same page in terms of long term commitment and values, and break up if that's not the case- stressful and not without consequences, but you should be able to boil it down to a yes/no answer for yourself and you're still at a stage where you can make a clean break. On the other hand the pregnant poster already knows her boyfriend is a shithead, there's nothing she can do to make him less of a shithead, and she's almost certainly going to have him in her life forever because of the coming child.

kaschei
Oct 25, 2005

She believes he found his new "soulmate" before officially dumping her

Macasaurus
Oct 12, 2012

original is gone and i'm not copypasting the whole thing https://www.reddit.com/r/weeabootales/comments/51awcz/seen_on_rrelationships_my_19_m_friend_from_uni_22/

quote:

Yang was very nice at first and was clearly a very popular member of the club. This was despite him having obviously poor social skills. It became a running joke, in fact, that he had hit on and failed to get with, LITERALLY every female member of the society.

Yin clearly just missed her GF from back home so I think she didn't mind the attention.

Eventually, once a lot of people have gone, he takes me upstairs to his room and shows me what can only be described at a 6 foot body pillow with an extremely naked and creepily accurate depiction of Yin on it.
Now Yang is definitely a bit of a weird dude but this was extremely unexpected. Even more unexpected was that he was sharing this with people. He keeps asking me what I think and I didn't know what to say. He began to brag about how expensive it was to get made bu that "detail was important". I nodded along and eventually asked him how he got it made. He replied that there were artists on the internet that would do this kind of thing if you gave them tons of photos and around £800.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

kaschei posted:

She believes he found his new "soulmate" before officially dumping her

Ah yeah I missed the "next day" detail. In which case, yeah, someone did that to me once and both the redditor and I should have seen it coming

504
Feb 2, 2016

by R. Guyovich
Can we focus on the freaks?

Half the lastest postings are perfectly normal troubles that are not r/ at all

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

Me [24m] with my GF [24F] of 3 years, I believe she is cheating on me again and I dont know how to bring up the issue

So my GF has cheated on me before. Several times actually. And I was always able to just ignore it, rationalize it. To be sure, I love this women and have had some of the best moments in my life with her right by my side, however, these past couple weeks Ive noticed something was...up with her. The other night she just randomly decided to "go for a drive" and insisted she go alone.

Like I said, she has cheated on me before. SO when she decided to head out I had this sneaking, nagging suspicion that she wasnt go out on a drive. The next day while she ws in the shower (not proud of this) I looked through her phone and sure enough, she been texting this guy back and forth for the several weeks now and they have already met up a few times. Their texts don't describe anything explicitly but I know this girl. The signs are there. She hasn't told me about this new friend, much like the last time. Its eating me up and I haven't been able to be around her without obviously exuding that something is on my mind. How do I bring it up? I only know about this because I too was being sneaky. But her past behavior has given me reason to suspect and when I followed that suspicion, I was(potentially) correct. I am trying to trust her again but stuff like this makes it difficult. Yes, I know I was "untrustworthy" by looking in her phone but...the signs were there.

TL;DR- Suspect GF is cheating on me again. Looked through her phone and saw texts between her and another guy that clearly show a relationship between them. Shes been to his house a few times already and has lied about where she was going when she actually went to see him. Need to bring this up to her but I only know about it because I looked through phone. How??

im cute
Sep 21, 2009


My biggest takeaway is that this drat fool spent £800 on a pillowcase when he already had "tons of photos" to crank his hog over.

Libelous Slander
May 1, 2009

... you're just creepy ...

at this point in the movie, the protagonist's friend suggests they do an old fashioned stake out of this other guy's house

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!

504 posted:

Can we focus on the freaks?


How's this?

quote:

i [19m] want to stop being thirsty and treat women better .

im about to 20 yrs old and i want to know how to stop being thirsty . my birthday is coming up and im about to be 20 im a virgin , i never had a girlfriend , and never had a kiss . its funny becasue im not the type of person to be in this position in life . girls the know these things ask me '' how are you still a virgin , how are you single ? , etc '' and it gets annoying really quick

im a honest person and what i really hate is when a family member or friends decide to run their mouth and let these thing slip . i have insecurity issues becasue of this and i feel like its posining my mindset and i feel like i just think of women as a sex object . its like im just finding women to have sex with me and i confuse myself on if i really even like them or not .

i had this one girl like like really bad for about 2 years and i question myself if i really like her or if i just like her because she is the only girl that i like that gives me attention . i trying to be more confident around women but when ever i get a girls number i always seem to lose their interest i dont know maybe im to passive . obviously i have to watch porn to get some sexual pleasure and i just feel ashamed that i have to do this and i feel like im turing into some creep like those guys . i have anxiety disorder and i start catastrophizing that im in this postion because im sercetly gay and my mind wont aceppt it or that things will be like this for my whole life , even with threpy and meds i feel like this is one of things that makes it go up {among other things of course} .

im cute
Sep 21, 2009

Libelous Slander posted:

at this point in the movie, the protagonist's friend suggests they do an old fashioned stake out of this other guy's house

when suddenly the FAT FRIEND (growing visibly uncomfortable/gassy throughout to this point) announces he has to take a poo poo. calls back to the xxxtra chili burrito he was eating in the previous scene.

MULLET FRIEND suggests Fat just hold it. not happening. shot of FAT FRIEND spotting a lit window in SIDE GUY'S house - it's a bathroom - cut back to FAT having an obvious eureka moment

Bonzo posted:

How's this?

a strong case for decriminalizing prostitution. not that it'd help him, the poor teenaged idiot.

im cute fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Sep 28, 2016

TehRedWheelbarrow
Mar 16, 2011



Fan of Britches

quote:

We have been married for 5 years and together for 8.
Not really great at writing, so apologies in advance. I'll try to include as much info as I think is relevant but please feel free to ask me for more in the comments if I wasn't clear about something.

My wife has been jealous of a coworker at my job for some time now. Her name is Heather and she's in her early 20s, tall, pretty. Just observations as I have a pair of eyes. Heather is nice but I don't go out of my way to talk to her. We worked together on a project about 8 months ago, which is when this seems to have started. Heather, 3 other coworkers, and I were assigned to this project and so for a good month we spent much time together at work. My wife saw her one day when we were all coming out and she was picking me up to go to dinner at my parents. She immediately asked who she was and if she worked at my job. I told her she was new and was put on our project. For the entire duration of the project my wife was in a bad mood almost every day and would take every opportunity to tear Heather down, saying she was lanky or her nose was crooked or whatever. She is insecure about her height because she's 5'4 and not a "6 foot tall glamazon". I love my wife's height and her petite figure and tell her this every day. She is extremely gorgeous and turns heads whenever we walk downtown. But once she saw Heather was tall and not ugly she was convinced I thought she was hot. I kept telling her she was just a colleague and that I had no interest in her. Regardless, she would greet her coldly or not at all if she saw my colleagues. Our home and jobs are located downtown so we usually walk to meet up with each other after work. My wife would start dressing up a lot more than usual when she'd come meet me and make a big show of jumping on me and stuff. She works at a very nice bakery and usually brings leftovers from work for us or people at my job. She always gave things out to everyone except Heather.

Eventually Heather picked up on the hostility and approached me to ask about why my wife was acting that way. I simply told her I didn't know, maybe because she didn't know her as long as the other colleagues she was distant. She seemed to accept that but would no longer leave at the same time as everyone else and would either go early or hang back.

Bryan, another coworker, approached me on Friday and asked to talk to me privately. He told me he had been at lunch with Kate, the coworker in question, and she had gone to pay for the food. She left her phone on the table. It lit up with a text and he saw it was from Valerie, my wife's name. The text basically said "Did you see him talking to her today? What did he say?" then "Do you think Heather is going to stay at that job long?" When Kate came back to the table he asked her if that was Valerie as in my wife. She got a deer in headlights look and said "Oh yea..we text sometimes. We're friends." He said he thought it was weird because she put her phone in her purse without even checking the messages he had asked about and wanted to go.

I went home and I snooped on my wife's phone. I know it was wrong but I had a feeling that if I asked her she would deny it or become defensive and not show me the phone. There were weeks worth of texts that basically were little reports on what went on at work. If Heather talked to me, what we talked about, did she hug me goodbye, did she touch me at all, did I laugh at her jokes. Did the guys think she was hot, did I join in with them, did I look like I was flirting..
Kate was also apparently talking up Valerie at work to Heather. She made sure to mention often we were married, how great Valerie was, how long we'd been together. I even read one that said "I told her 'Val works in a bakery. I bet if anyone tried to steal her husband she'd just chop them up and bake them in to a pie, haha!' " which was pretty loving creepy.

A lot of things started coming together then. Heather was much more distant lately, she seemed hesitant to say bye at the end of the day. We used to talk casually like everyone else at work but now she would just say hi and bye mostly.
I've been sitting on this information all weekend. Today at work I could hardly look at Heather for shame of it, and I couldn't look at Kate for my disgust. I haven't been able to approach my wife about this because I just don't know how or what to say. I feel frustrated and very much weirded out. I feel gross too like I've had my every move watched without knowing it and as if just talking to a coworker is doing something wrong.
I haven't talked to anyone else about this, not even Bryan who first mentioned it. I don't know what to do from here. I don't even know what this means for our relationship. It feels like something big has changed because I haven't been able to look at her the same way and all my interactions with her since Friday have been kind of forced and faked. I need to talk to her and figure out what to do.
Any advice would be appreciated. I feel very lost right now.

TL;DR: My wife has felt insecure about another coworker because they are tall and attractive. She has been texting with another coworker of mine who gives her reports on my interactions with the coworker my wife is jealous over. I feel betrayed and a bit sick thinking of it. I don't know what this means for us or how to proceed.

ElGroucho
Nov 1, 2005

We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane
Fun Shoe
He should just gently caress the tall woman and get it over with

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ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

ElGroucho posted:

He should just gently caress the tall woman and get it over with

climb the mountain

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