Gaunab posted:

This is just sad

Gaunab posted:

This is just sad

LethalGeek posted:

I can't even comprehend what that will do to a mind

afeelgoodpoop posted:

doesn't make her some heartless machiavelli .

Hella Paunchy posted:

No, it makes her a racist piece of poo poo.

afeelgoodpoop posted:

your dad probably was a pos if you had to be adopted out as a kid like that. who cares if you mom called him a racial slur. just cause your mom sees obvious cultural differences along racial lines and wants to protect you from it but frames it in an un pc way doesn't make her some heartless machiavelli .

loquacius posted:

quote:

My girlfriend (27F) of a year's dumpster has a possum infestation. I (28M) am set to move in next week and I found out she's purposely feeding them.

This morning though I stopped by on my way to work to drop off some more stuff and she wasn't there but the kitchen door was open. When I looked out below I saw my girlfriend down near the dumpster tossing food into it and there were several possums around her. A couple in the dumpster that I could see, at least a couple others waiting behind it while she threw pieces of leftover pizza from this weekend into it. Not in garbage bags, just the pizza by itself. She was feeding the possums and talking to them like they were pets, saying stuff like "Here you go, sweet babies".

quote:

My [28/F] roommate [29/F] is social media-obsessed and keeps posting photos and videos of me without my consent.

She posts a lot on Snapchat. Every mundane, semi-interesting, and exciting moment is documented, from her meal prep, to her nieces and nephews, to every "cheers" our friends do when we go out for drinks. Apparently she thinks I'm hilarious, so she records me constantly. She always has her phone in hand. Sometimes we'll be having a conversation, I'll make her laugh, and I won't even realize she'd been recording me until I check out Snapchat before bed. There have been videos of me dancing while I clean, in my pajamas wearing a face mask and glasses, she's even recorded me singing in the shower from the other side of the bathroom door.

quote:

My 26F Husband 29M of 4 years thinks its weird I've never had the urge to kill someone, he says that is normal?

Ok so this is really weird. I don't really know where to start. So this morning he was mentioning how he doesn't like reading news stories where people get murdered and how his friends are really into slender man.

I mentioned I read the story of the two girls who stabbed their classmate for slender man. He got really offended I read news articles about murder. Like so offended you would have thought I said something horrible about his mother or something.

I asked him why it was such a big deal to him that if I see a news article about murder that I read it. He said because he doesn't want those articles to make me actually kill someone (bare with me, this sounds like a joke but its not). I told him I have never had the urge to kill someone? He said that it is normal and everyone has that urge.

I clarified with him if he meant like you are so mad you say it sarcastically or if it is a real urge and he said it is a real urge. He told me I was lying when I said I never wanted to kill someone.

I feel really weird now, he is a really normal happy guy who has had a good vanilla normal life. Should I urge him to go to therapy. This is all so weird.

Mange Mite posted:

I have heard several times from various adopted kids that they disapprove of cross-racial adoptions and I always considered it kind of a weird opinion but i guess now i know why

gentle pete posted:

quote:

[Update] My [28f] fiance's [31m] fetish is growing out of control. We talked it through, and made some decisions.

Since then a lot of people have private messaged me with good advice. Some people have insulted my fiance. A couple tried to get themselves involved in my sex life by asking if they could be a bull (what the gently caress?). I took the advice to heart and had a talk with my fiance.

Here's what happened:

The hotwifing/cuckold fetish stuff continued on as I expected. He continuously kept pushing new ideas about how I can humiliate him at our wedding. First he asked if we could get married with my boyfriend's semen inside of me, and I said no. Somewhere between his suggestion that my vows to him involve talking about how useless and pathetic of a man he is, and his other suggestion about me wearing an "I <3 BBC" anklet (he goes crazy when I talk about my black exes although I'm not sure how I feel about him fetishizing a race), I interrupted him and told him it wasn't working for me. I basically poured out all of my feelings about how his attitude is ruining my wedding.

After a lot of talking, some yelling, and an unhealthy dose of self-deprecation from him, we've come to an understanding that I want to please him, but don't want to make it public. So, where possible, we're working in a few things that he wants to do, but they're very small and limited. It makes him so happy when I agree to an idea so I can't help doing something. Instead of writing "prep the bull" at the end of our highlight video, we're going to write berth ell pup, which is an anagram of it. If asked we'll just say it means "I love you" in Old Norse. I won't wear a visible anklet, but I'll wear panties with a similar message on them (with another white pair on top). As for having sex with my boyfriend before the wedding in the makeup room, I told him that definitely crosses the line and the answer will still be no.

We have started couples counseling with a therapist who is qualified as a sex therapist as well. We all acknowledged that my fiance has a serious problem, although the therapist said that indulging in his desires from time to time is not terribly harmful in this sort of case. She gave us indispensable advice about instead of focusing on what I refuse to do, focus on a line of what we can do, making clear rules. He should respect those rules by not even suggesting something which bends them. My rules are if it's safe, painless, and private, I'll happily consider it.

Things are going better now although there was one hiccup of him getting turned on during the therapist's meeting and later admitting in private that he was playing with himself in the bathroom (apparently when the two of us were discussing how he was being selfish it set him off?). I was too confused to know what to say, but shaming him for having sexual desires doesn't seem right either. I don't know if I want to bring this up in our next session.

tl;dr: Drew some lines with my fiance, and things are going better! We're in therapy now. Thank you for your great advice.

Gaunab posted:

Things are going better now although there was one hiccup of him getting turned on during the therapist's meeting and later admitting in private that he was playing with himself in the bathroom (apparently when the two of us were discussing how he was being selfish it set him off?). I was too confused to know what to say, but shaming him for having sexual desires doesn't seem right either. I don't know if I want to bring this up in our next session.

Libelous Slander posted:

what a bad therapist

Gaunab posted:

Gaunab posted:

CharlestonJew posted:

jesus Christ just marry a normal guy why is she jumping through all these loving hoops

Gluten Freeman posted:

opossum dumpster

loquacius posted:

Also if you have to excuse yourself from therapy to go masturbate because it's turning you on that the therapist says your fetish is destroying your life, you might be beyond hope

quote:

My [22f] bf revealed to me he is actually in highschool ????? im confused.
So 2 year ago i met my current bf at a party, he was just standing there with other guys having a drink , his physical appearance was no where near what i thought highschoolers looked.
Tall, broad shoulders ,very clean trimmed facial hair, he came on to me and i for one having too many drinks said gently caress it why not i could use some fun, we hooked up that same night.
the next day i didnt expect to see him again but he actually went and got me breakfast and warm coffee for me, so we spent that morning together eating and watching TV, i thought to myself he's a nice guy so why not, we talked and got to know eachother more, gave him my number and went on dates with him.
he was nothing but a gentleman to me which i very much loved, pulled the seat out, opened the door for me all those simple things that just made me smile like texting me good morning beautiful when i wake up, i'v dated other guys before and none of them were this way to me, i found it very refreshing to actually be with a "man" who knows how to treat his lady right.
fast forward 2 years later, we're very well together and i always thought of it as a serious relationship and i realy could see myself with him in the far future, i brought up the marraige topic to him just to test him about it slightly, he was very positive about it no freaking out or anything.
during our relationship, he had a job the past 2 years at his dads garage, we never discuss about school or anything work related when we're together, we want to keep it strictly just about us enjoying our time together, being with him is my biggest stress reliever of all tension from school and work, its always fun and relaxing when its with him, i would also talk to him about anything such as problems at home with my family or if my best friend and I had a fight etc , i always left myself open to him, he lives about 30 minutes away from me at another town but he visits me everyday at night and on weekends i let him stay over.
i have never met his family and he always told me he rather not let me meet them as they are terrible, i went ahead with it if he hated them so much so be it, but he has met my family and has actually became really good friends with my younger brother, im really glad about that, my parents liked him as well and they get along fine.
the revelation, this past weekend we went out on a nice dinner for his birthday it was a great time, after going back to my place he told me he had something important to tell me, after pausing for a while and i paniced i thought he was going to break up with me and i started started crying, all to make the matter worse he started crying too, then revealed to me that he lied about his age, he was actually 18 and he just got accepted to a college far away and really wanted to take the chance to go but is conflicted because he didnt want to leave me, i was so confused i literally yelled at him what do you mean you JUST turned 18????? , he said he really liked me and was afraid to tell me his age back then because i would have not given him a chance, he apologized and said that if i wanted to end things he would understand and was sorry for lying to me for so long and that he really loves me and will give me space to make up my mind and wont contact me unless i contact him first.
i havent seen him nor spoken to him for 5 days, holy crap im so sad, i miss him so much , he has never done anything wrong to me EXCEPT lie about himself which i am so angry about but im not sure if its right to continue it or not.
for things such as , how did i not know he was a teenager:
i dont do social networking sites or whatever its called, i dont do instagram, facebook, snapchat , twitter etc. i dont even know how to use it nor am i interested in learning.
i only use my email for work and school purposes , youtube and reddit for entertainment, Kik for keeping in touch with my friends and families everything else is a waste of time in my opinion, and as far as i know he doesnt use them as well, didnt find any of these types on his phone just skype or tumblr whatever that is.
since he lived 30 minutes away i'v never met his actual friends nor his family, he did take me to his town 3 times to show it to me the place and took me to the park and to his favourite gaming cafe etc, if i bring up anything family related he would shut down and switch the subject he told me many times he wish he could move out and live with me and stay away from his family, he's never open up about ti exactly i just know he would rather spend time with me than with them, in all holidays he would spend it with me and my family instead.
I feel like a big trust has been broken but he has expressed to me how he would do anything to amend it and if i do choose to break things up he wishes to still amend things just so we depart on good terms with no hate between us, do we even still have a chance to fix this?
has ANYONE experienced this??
tldr: i dated justin bieber.

Kashuno posted:

this thread owns more than the last two already.

quote:

I'm (29f) and my husband is (32m) we've been married for 8 yrs and have two kids. I don't want this post to be super long but it might be.
My husband has always had a drinking problem but I just never recognized it until recently, as I grew up in an alcoholic family. Hubby drinks all the time any chance he gets basically. If 2-3 days goes by he gets antsy without a drink.
Within the last two years he started going to strip clubs. I never had a problem with it at first and never wanted to be that controlling wife who says no. Lately it's getting very bad to where he's spending hundreds of dollars a night about 1-2xs a week. he's basically a regular there and everyone knows him and hugs and chats with him. He's in the technology field and says he has to do it for work. Says that the guys and upper management demand that that's where they go to linger and such. The issue is he even goes there on his own. I do understand with work and being in a higher position with higher ups there are times you have to make choices but he makes his A to go all the time.
We had many discussions about this and it hurts me terribly and he's married. He promises he won't do it again and does. Strip clubs are occasionally acceptable I guess but not a regular thing like the grocery store or Costco. He says he won't do it again but continues. It's gotten to the point where I'm disgusted and my self esteem has dropped and I feel I'm not good Enough.
We have regular talks about this and I trusted him but now I don't. I told him the next time he does it we're going to separate and he says he doesn't want that or to lose the kids and me.
He has admitted that he has a drinking and strip club problem but says rehab is expensive and I do agree but I'm lost and don't know what route to go anymore.
His friends told him he just wants to sleep with other women and that's how he doesn't by just looking at other women and having fantasies.
It's my first time posting here, sorry if I forgot something.
tl:dr 29f Husband 32m goes to strip clubs 1-2 times a week; says it's for work; drinks daily; married 8yrs

quote:

Me [25 M] with my Chinese girlfriend [23 F] of two months, may be twisting Chinese culture to her advantage

Hey everyone, I don't know if this is the right place to post this but my Chinese girlfriend is giving me a really hard time with certain aspects of our relationship and is blaming it on Chinese Culture. I just wanted your input on this and wanted to know if she's twisting the culture to her advantage. Here are a few things:

1) She constantly accuses me of seeing other women and that I was being unfaithful with no proof whatsoever, so I get upset about it whenever she does it. She says that in her culture that the opposite should happen; I should feel important and loved after being accused of being unfaithful because that means she really cares about me being stolen away by other women and doesn't want to lose me. I've never heard of this in Chinese culture, can anyone confirm this? Am I being unreasonable for being upset by this?

2) She says I'm supposed to date her for at least a year or two before I can even consider being her boyfriend. We decided to be a couple after just two weeks here in the US and she now claims she is sacrificing so many Chinese values just to be in a relationship with me and is super stressed. Is this true? If so should I break off the relationship and just go back to dating?

3) In Chinese culture the man must pay for everything, otherwise it shows he does not love his girlfriend. Is this true? Do I have to become her personal bank? There's no way I can afford that.
So it looks like there's some serious cultural differences and if what she says is true then I'll need to compromise with her. What's the best way to go about doing so without offending her or her culture?

tl;dr: My girlfriend may be twisting Chinese culture to her advantage and need some input on what to do.

The Snoo posted:

'shaming him for having sexual desires doesn't seem right' yeah it does lmao

kinkshame his stupid rear end

KomodoWagon posted:

berth ell pup jesus loving christ

quote:

Bf has [penis problems].

About a month ago I came back from a trip and my boyfriend tried to engage in sex with me. I was okay until I noticed the bottom of his penis and balls were a bit red and he had this slight smell coming from him. He said he'd been scratching and must have cut himself or something. Fast forward and over time, the redness hasn't gone way, it's actually become more red. He also complains of it itching/hurting sometimes. I guess him scratching it is make it red and maybe causing the pain, too. And when I blow him, there's also this discharge that I don't recall him having before, it's not like precum, it's got a hint of greenish color to it and after seeing it the second time, I stopped giving him blow jobs. I told him I thought be might be sick or have a problem with his penis, but he refuses to go to the doctor, so he can get checked out. I even told him no more sex or blows until he gets it checked out, but he's refused and said I'm just making excuses to not be intimate with him and suggesting I may have cheated while on my trip and don't love him anymore. I've never cheated in my life. I'm just worried about his health.

Any males have idea what could be going on and any way I can get him to get himself checked out?

EDIT: I'm really just numb right now. I think he cheated and that's why he's not wanting to go to the doctor, because I'd find out. That's not even the main thing that's bothering me, though. It's the fact that he could possibly have something that can be very damaging to me and he doesn't even care enough to let me know, so I can get treated. After four years, I'd think he'd care enough about me to say something. Thank you all for answering. I'm making an appointment as soon as possible.

Gaunab posted:

quote:

Oh my god you're right.
I told him this ten minutes ago. He knows that I reddit (he's a redditor too), and when I brought this up in the first place I told him that I asked reddit for advice and showed him the original thread. It's the main reason why we ended up going to therapy in the first place. He was actually the one who suggested that I update you all on the situation.
After I told him that someone could just Google berth ell pup and find the phrase in this thread, he looked me in the eye and said "That's so loving hot."
When he goes to work I'm leaving. He'll find this post eventually but I don't care. I need a few days to cool off and reconsider my options. He's ill. He needs serious help and I think I'm going to call his brother to tell him (without specifics). I texted my aunt already and she'll be here to pick me up with a moment's notice