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Isn't the whole thing kind of win win for both parties? If you have someone that's "I won't date someone who has a penis/is bi/posts on SomethingAwful/etc" then why would someone with those things waste their time or risk their personal safety trying to change their mind? I had a friend insist women will only date you if you have a cool car to drive them around in. I told him I'm not interested in the kind of women that care so much about it.
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Apr 18, 2024 00:01
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I've had a couple friends over the last few years lose very long term relationships due to *gender* happening and its rough. Both of them went through some very resentful periods where they tried their best to be supportive and open minded but it's very hard for some part of your brain not to resent what was going on and blame the person who you see as totally destroying your happy relationship and life. But both of them came out the other end "ok" and not becoming weirdo transphobes or anything like that. They mourned their old partner and relationship and moved on after some therapy. Both of them had to distance themselves and go fairly low-contact for their own mental health. But a 3rd instance was a big success because it was two bi girls who became a bi boy and a bi girl and it didn't hurt their relationship at all and one of them even admitted they found the person hotter post-transition so everyone wins.
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Apr 18, 2024 00:10
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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:Starting to date a cishet lady and I know now to make sure they’re ok with me being pan. What a world. Thankfully she was horrified at the idea I would have to ask but, friends, that is not always the case! I'm finding I need to do this regarding monogamy vs poly. I'm open to a lot, but I don't like sharing, and that's not a bomb I want dropped mid-relationship.
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Apr 18, 2024 01:17
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The Bible posted:I'm finding I need to do this regarding monogamy vs poly. I'm open to a lot, but I don't like sharing, and that's not a bomb I want dropped mid-relationship. Ya same.
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Apr 18, 2024 01:55
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Panfilo posted:Isn't the whole thing kind of win win for both parties? If you have someone that's "I won't date someone who has a penis/is bi/posts on SomethingAwful/etc" then why would someone with those things waste their time or risk their personal safety trying to change their mind? Women not dating bis is much more akin to men not dating women who make more money. It's a weirdly common outlier viewpoint that shows up in people who are otherwise reasonable about gender and sexuality.
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Apr 18, 2024 02:38
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Yeah I don't think that being told upfront they're not interested is the issue, it's that someone you're interested in is reducing you down to that one part of you and dismissing you outright, and probably also frustration at how prevalent it might be.
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Apr 18, 2024 02:46
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Leviathan Song posted:I'm kind of surprised that people aren't encountering women who refuse to date men that aren't 100% straight. I've encountered enough that I thought it was a typical experience. Obviously not all women think that way but I've been friends with women who mentioned it as a dealbreaker and I've had bi friends express frustration with it repeatedly coming up. I would've said the majority of straight women felt that way before reading this thread. I have certainly heard of this phenomenon, yeah. That's a whole other can of worms. What I was getting at is I think most women understand the difference between "I am bisexual, I gently caress men and women" and "I am straight and I currently live with a man, and have even had sex with this man, but the man has a vagina and we started dating when they were a woman and I like women and because they are a man now we are breaking up." If anything, I feel like the sort of woman who is averse to ever dating a bisexual man would respond to the latter not "oh gross, you queer" but more like "oh you poor thing, let me help you out."
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Apr 18, 2024 02:56
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Sagebrush posted:
see, my assumption would be the opposite. people averse to dating queers would, like OP himself, consider him tainted by queerness. in this sense his own mindset is a window into this one because they're working on the same unexamined gut feelings about things
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Apr 18, 2024 03:05
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Leviathan Song posted:Women not dating bis is much more akin to men not dating women who make more money. It's a weirdly common outlier viewpoint that shows up in people who are otherwise reasonable about gender and sexuality. Women with more money reminds me of the one redditor who blew up a cushy relationship because he off-roaded his gfs Porsche supercar
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Apr 18, 2024 03:10
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Yeah, I think the whole "some women might not want to date me if they learn I was once with a trans man" thing is actually a bonus. Good way to weed out bigots or hopelessly insecure women early in a relationship. But realistically, the issue here isn't that some hypothetical women are homophobic. It's that the OP is. It sucks to lose your relationship to something entirely out of your control. But it happens sometimes. Your partner could have been hit by a bus, would that have been better? You move on.
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Apr 18, 2024 03:38
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Mister Olympus posted:see, my assumption would be the opposite. people averse to dating queers would, like OP himself, consider him tainted by queerness. in this sense his own mindset is a window into this one because they're working on the same unexamined gut feelings about things It's this. The West is tainted with Protestant morality. The fact that he was ever even homosexual-adjacent makes him tainted by sin. These aren't always the words that will be used, but it is the basis of the problem.
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Apr 18, 2024 04:17
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The Bible posted:It's this. The West is tainted with Protestant morality. The fact that he was ever even homosexual-adjacent makes him tainted by sin. Only America is that bad, other western countries have their religious foibles but they're very much in a class of their own.
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Apr 18, 2024 11:35
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Nissin Cup Nudist posted:Women with more money reminds me of the one redditor who blew up a cushy relationship because he off-roaded his gfs Porsche supercar I feel like people ought to see this, because his logic for having been allowed to use the GT3 is the most "14 year old trying to get around a punishment" I've ever seen AITA for not wanting to pay for my girlfriend's car maintenance after I used it with permission once while pet sitting for her My girlfriend (28F) was traveling and asked me (30M) to stay at her place and look after her dogs. She told me I could use her car for anything I needed during my stay. She has two cars and did not specify which one. A Porsche 911 GT3 and a Toyota Camry. I used the Camry most of the times but took the Porsche for a short road trip to a hiking trail and I hired a dog sitter that day. We did have fun with it in an empty field but nothing too extreme or going over what the car is rated for. When she got back she noticed the Porsche was more dirty (I did not leave it extremely dirty or anything just a normal amount of dirty) and asked me if I used that car, I said I did but only once. She got upset and said that I should have known when I said car she meant only the Toyota as she always refers to the Porsche as the Porsche or the GT3. She herself only uses that car for special occasions and sometimes takes it to a track, and I thought our trip counted as a special occasion. She got the car checked as she claimed it felt different, and came back with an incredibly expensive maintenance quote and told me I should pay for the suspension and undercarriage damage parts of the bill. I feel like she is being an AH I only used it for one day and I said I did not know maintenance was part of the deal and that I felt tricked. I offered to pay for the whole service of the Camry the next time it needs it. She got the other car knowing the maintenance is high for her hobbies and is trying to shift the maintenance cost to me. AITA EDIT: I did not know you could not use the car in fields (well I know but I thought one that was relatively flat would be ok if he drove slow) and my friend really wanted to try the car and pressured me to let him try it in the field even though I was reluctant but he assured me it would not cause any damage. I will pay the bill in that case maybe even the whole bill. I could afford it and I doubt my friend would pay for it. In the first place I wanted to fetch my Subaru Outback from my place so we could store more stuff, but my friend convinced me to take the Porsche. EDIT2: She knew I was going on the trip and she contacted a dog sitter she trusted and I paid for it.
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Apr 18, 2024 12:08
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Mister Olympus posted:see, my assumption would be the opposite. people averse to dating queers would, like OP himself, consider him tainted by queerness. in this sense his own mindset is a window into this one because they're working on the same unexamined gut feelings about things Tainted By Queerness sounds like a PSA from the 1950s Nissin Cup Nudist posted:Women with more money reminds me of the one redditor who blew up a cushy relationship because he off-roaded his gfs Porsche supercar I remember that. What a classic. And what an incredible dipshit.
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Apr 18, 2024 12:29
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Baronjutter posted:it's very hard for some part of your brain not to resent what was going on and blame the person who you see as totally destroying your happy relationship and life Leviathan Song posted:Women not dating bis is much more akin to men not dating women who make more money. It's a weirdly common outlier viewpoint that shows up in people who are otherwise reasonable about gender and sexuality.
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Apr 18, 2024 13:38
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Part of me has to wonder if the whole thing about women not wanting to date bi-men is rooted in insecurity. "If he's bi I have to worry about him cheating with both women AND men" kind of thing.
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Apr 18, 2024 15:30
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Super Waffle posted:Part of me has to wonder if the whole thing about women not wanting to date bi-men is rooted in insecurity. "If he's bi I have to worry about him cheating with both women AND men" kind of thing. the thing about men not dating women that make more money than they do is also rooted in insecurity. "If I'm not the main breadwinner I am basically worthless"
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Apr 18, 2024 15:31
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I'm on record as saying this, basically all toxic or unhealthy behavior can be traced to insecurity of some sort or other lol
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Apr 18, 2024 15:31
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loquacius posted:the thing about men not dating women that make more money than they do is also rooted in insecurity. "If I'm not the main breadwinner I am basically worthless" It's getting to a point where DINK will be the only way to be able to afford stuff, so bring on the rich(er) women imo
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Apr 18, 2024 15:41
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loquacius posted:the thing about men is they're rooted in insecurity. ftfy
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Apr 18, 2024 16:59
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I make a decent living. Not rich, but I might be able to retire one say. As far as I'm concerned, bring on a girl that's cool, and likes me and makes more money than me. We might actually both be able to retire and also raise a family and poo poo working together like that.
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Apr 18, 2024 17:35
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Apr 18, 2024 21:01
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posted:
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Apparently, there are class 2 zits that make a noise when you pop them.
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Apr 18, 2024 21:39
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Huh. I hadn't ever gagged from reading something before.
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Apr 18, 2024 21:54
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Long-time reader, first-time wretcher.
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Apr 18, 2024 22:05
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I actually shouted "Jesus gently caress!" out loud
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Apr 18, 2024 22:06
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Reminds me of those California Charcoal ads where people are pulling entire vaseline porcupines out of their faces. Please tell me I'm not the only one who saw those.
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Apr 18, 2024 22:14
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I. M. Gei posted:Reminds me of those California Charcoal ads where people are pulling entire vaseline porcupines out of their faces. Do the needful.
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Apr 18, 2024 22:17
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Can't fool me, anon, I spotted a gross-out fesh at the first mention of zits and stopped there 
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Apr 18, 2024 22:23
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That post was the equivalent of a John K gross out close up.
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Apr 18, 2024 22:23
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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:Do the needful. Ugh, fine!  WARNING for gross poo poo coming out of human faces https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQaD9s6lPJY Slightly longer version in 4:3, also
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Apr 18, 2024 22:26
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I. M. Gei posted:Ugh, fine. I hate it.
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Apr 18, 2024 22:28
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It does a pretty drat good job of convincing you that you need to buy the product.
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Apr 18, 2024 22:32
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Those extreme tough masks are also loving horrible for you in the long run, simple skincare routine can be pretty cheap and easily customizable these days.
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Apr 18, 2024 22:35
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I love a gel mask it feels satisfying af.
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Apr 18, 2024 22:35
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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:I love a gel mask it feels satisfying af. Plus real OGs use the blood mask anyhow.
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Apr 18, 2024 22:40
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teen witch posted:Those extreme tough masks are also loving horrible for you in the long run, simple skincare routine can be pretty cheap and easily customizable these days. I'm confused, are you telling me I need to get all the vaseline out of my face with California Charcoal or not?
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Apr 18, 2024 22:48
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teen witch posted:Those are fine but there’s a class of peel offs that can gently caress up your skin barrier, leading to rashes, dryness and…more clogged pores. Is that the “vampire mask” thing? Sounds metal af.
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Apr 18, 2024 22:49
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I. M. Gei posted:I'm confused, are you telling me I need to get all the vaseline out of my face with California Charcoal or not? Dang It Bhabhi! posted:Is that the “vampire mask” thing? Sounds metal af. What I’m referring to is this product from The Ordinary, I’ve used it weekly for maybe almost 5 years now? It’s kept my skin far less oily but I can use it in winter with a good night cream or moisturizer. The key is consistency, which you’ll need as it is very bizarre feeling to use initially.
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Apr 18, 2024 23:02
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teen witch posted:If there is Vaseline in your face, like in it, there are much larger problems no peel off mask will solve. Slugging from the inside could be a new thing, however. Oh dang I did not expect this thread to up my skincare game but gently caress yea thanks.
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Apr 18, 2024 23:56
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