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rear end pen man, I want to believe.
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Oct 7, 2016 15:31
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JnnyThndrs posted:I'm kinda taking all of them at semi-face value until proven obviously fake though(like those old 50 Foot Ant stories), otherwise there's no real point in reading them. I'm with you on that generally and blanket believe many of them, but the 7-11 and Dogs stories were written like Chuck Palanhiuk fan fiction.
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Oct 7, 2016 15:31
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Captain Yossarian posted:Hi Jastiger I was wondering how you faired in the spooky gbs disappearance I'm glad to see you It was a tough storm to weather, but we're all here brother.
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Oct 7, 2016 15:33
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You can tell which ones are fake because one of the creative writing 101 guys loves using parentheses, at least one per paragraph
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Oct 7, 2016 15:40
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If I wrote any of these you could probably tell because I have a really hard time ending sentences If there's one that has a paragraph that's one big long sentence full of parentheticals and dashes and semicolons you know that one's an inside job
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Oct 7, 2016 15:43
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Dear 33 year old porn-goon that ate a burrito and beat off three times on your birthday: can you please give us more details on the burrito?
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Oct 7, 2016 15:50
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"Dogs" even had a little shocker sentence at the end akin to when the MC puts his head on the chopping block in that one Chekhov story. "Welp I shot it" If anyone believes that one wholeheartedly then they didn't pay attention in high school English. Descend to slumber posted:Dear 33 year old porn-goon that ate a burrito and beat off three times on your birthday: can you please give us more details on the burrito? It was a NOS Dilberito. A real treat.
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Oct 7, 2016 15:53
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Charles Get-Out posted:"Dogs" even had a little shocker sentence at the end akin to when the MC puts his head on the chopping block in that one Chekhov story. "Welp I shot it" Why would someone punish themselves like that on their birthday? Might as well just save yourself the effort and go to bed hungry instead.
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Oct 7, 2016 16:00
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Descend to slumber posted:Dear 33 year old porn-goon that ate a burrito and beat off three times on your birthday: can you please give us more details on the burrito? I hope there was rice and beans in it! Oh, and hot salsa and just a little bit of chihuahua cheese, lettuce, and of course onion and cilantro. That'd be the business!
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Oct 7, 2016 16:36
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Wasn't rear end Pennies a thing from some comedy show?
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Oct 7, 2016 17:43
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cilantro and lime for a "latin" kick!
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Oct 7, 2016 17:51
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DoctorStrangelove posted:Wasn't rear end Pennies a thing from some comedy show? It was, two guys talking on a golf course I believe
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Oct 7, 2016 18:05
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quote:I have a long term girlfriend who currently lives about an hour and a half away. She's planning to move in with me soon, but is waiting on a job that will allow her to do so. She's on the 2nd interview with a place, so we think it's close. Right now, we only spend weekends together. I don't want her to get this job because I love having my weekday nights free for myself. quote:Too much deep poo poo is being posted in this thread so have this, assholes.
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Oct 7, 2016 18:09
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DoctorStrangelove posted:Wasn't rear end Pennies a thing from some comedy show? http://www.cc.com/video-clips/zpuyqq/upright-citizens-brigade-rear end-pennies
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Oct 7, 2016 18:10
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Through the first two paragraphs of the first one I was all like "yeah I kinda miss those bachelor nights too hahaha" then I got to the last two paragraphs and I was like 
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Oct 7, 2016 18:10
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lets just rest assured that he didn't say he wanted to be eaten and digested by the gaint penis
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Oct 7, 2016 18:16
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hth posted:Catbox goes in bathroom. Get flushable litter and scoop it into the shitter. Change at least once a week. Humidity from shower ruins litter and makes it more likely to smell and fail to clump? At least, that's why I moved the box away from my bathroom. I don't live with anyone else (goony overgrown child), so it's really only me that suffers. I also make sure the box is always, always clean.
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Oct 7, 2016 18:26
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quote:Too much deep poo poo is being posted in this thread so have this, assholes. To be honest I was already aware that all normies are faggots so this hasn't come as a huge shock to me (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Oct 7, 2016 19:20
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Hey guys, I used to be kind of a loner, but know I'm a goddamn abomination against society.... with friends! Marvel at the crusty mucus on my fursuit.
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Oct 7, 2016 19:26
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I used to be a loser. I still am, but I used to be one too
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Oct 7, 2016 19:51
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Pollyanna posted:Humidity from shower ruins litter and makes it more likely to smell and fail to clump? At least, that's why I moved the box away from my bathroom. I don't live with anyone else (goony overgrown child), so it's really only me that suffers. I also make sure the box is always, always clean. Oh. I take baths like the big dumb manchild i am (it helps with the knees) so I dont really steam up my bathroom. Where do you put the cat shitter if not in the bathroom?
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Oct 7, 2016 19:56
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hth posted:Oh.
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Oct 7, 2016 20:04
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Nooner posted:lol what are you like 100 old man lol more like 300 am I right hahahhaha
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Oct 7, 2016 20:16
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I steal pens from all the hotels I go to, but I think that's why they're there right? Just for guests to take and use?
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Oct 7, 2016 20:46
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I do that rear end pen thing with hotel pens, and i don't sanitize them like that anonymous weirdo, what's even the point
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Oct 7, 2016 20:49
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One time a wiped my lovely cum dripping dick on my passed out girlfriend's hair before slowly smothering my infant child with a cum smeared stuffed elephant I won him at the county fair. But now I have friends and a carreer path so I've made improvements with my life!
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Oct 7, 2016 21:37
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goblins are real and Donald Trump is goign to bed with a goblin
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Oct 7, 2016 21:50
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Goblin vomit
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Oct 7, 2016 21:51
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Nooner posted:lol what are you like 100 old man lol i do a lot of running and am 100
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Oct 7, 2016 23:17
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Putty posted:goblins are real and Donald Trump is goign to bed with a goblin hmm, a persuasive argument for my vote
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Oct 8, 2016 02:58
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I like to think of the Trump goblin vine as Alex Jones summarizing his screenplayquote:My girlfriend dumped me on March 18th. We had been dating for close to 2 years before that, and I did something really bad and really stupid and deserved to be dumped. I wanted to try and be on speaking terms, but she hasn't spoken to me since then, and I don't think she ever will again. quote:A few years ago I was out with a good friend and we were both pretty drunk. During the course of the evening he told me that he had recently ended an affair with a co-worker of his (my friend is married with a couple of kids).
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Oct 8, 2016 12:37
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First guy,  Second guy, there's a good chance that if you were drunk enough that you don't remember who you were talking to or what you said to them, they were also drunk enough that they either don't remember hearing it or who they heard it from or even who they heard it about. Also, even if they do have a crystal-clear memory of the incident, there's a good chance they'll have enough social awareness to keep their mouths shut. Also also, you don't actually know you said anything, and even if you did, there's nothing to be done about it now. I wouldn't spend too much time fretting over this; this sounds like one of those social-anxiety things that isn't objectively a rational thing to worry about.
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Oct 8, 2016 12:42
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That dude either cheated on or killed Heather.
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Oct 8, 2016 13:15
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The "still with us" comment at the end did kind of suggest something there
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Oct 8, 2016 13:27
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I'm just gonna assume the "us" is him and his collection of vintage action figures. The truly bad thing he did was go to a action figure convention instead of her cat's birthday party.
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Oct 8, 2016 14:02
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Solice Kirsk posted:That dude either cheated on or killed Heather. If he cheated he would have just said that instead of being vague about it, and he wouldn't have had to block her friends because she would have told them it was over. Heather is definitely dead.
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Oct 8, 2016 15:39
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he had to clean the house and gently caress about in the garden. Heather is fake
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Oct 8, 2016 16:00
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Tbh, the first one is a lot less sad if he's in denial or feeling guilt about his girlfriend being dead.
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Oct 8, 2016 16:06
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I think that was the first semi-well written confession so far. SO let's see this go to that goons head and he starts submitting like 15 stories a day where his character slowly goes insane and the ghost of his beloved Heather turns into an avatar of vengence.
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Oct 8, 2016 18:17
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turbomoose posted:I steal pens from all the hotels I go to, but I think that's why they're there right? Just for guests to take and use? They're there to put up your butt while you're staying at the hotel you idiot. You're not supposed to take them with you when you check out.
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Oct 8, 2016 19:08
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