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Rush Limbo posted:It's a tattoo people get based on the semicolon project. I work with someone who has the tattoo. She's smoking hot, but she is crazy as poo poo.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:48
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H.H posted:Witch mom That's awesome  We made Monster Spray (water in a spray bottle) when my son was 3 or 4; he would occasionally spray a little under his bed and at the window and closet when he was scared. Monsters never got him and he slept great!
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Nov 8, 2016 15:00
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loquacius posted:I looked it up, the show is cartoony as gently caress and I'm actually lolling a little bit at the thought of an actual grandpa rubbing his hands together with glee at the chance to finally get some sexy Magiswords time Our son is 10 and he watched that stupid loving show a few times until it joined Clarence and Uncle Grandpa on the banned list.
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Dec 28, 2016 22:32
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sinking belle posted:lol in a few decades you're gonna get repeatedly owned in increasingly agonising ways by your kid That starts the first time you're changing their diaper and a stream of piss hits you in the face. No need for waiting!
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Dec 31, 2016 19:23
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Guys, I think some of these confessions aren't real 
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Jan 2, 2017 18:54
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WampaLord posted:Some missionary must have seen someone with Ebola or some other disease where you spew out of both ends and assumed it was demonic. That reminds me of that TV series where people earnestly go out and search for Bigfoot. Naturally only at night, and while doing random Bigfoot calls :douchechill:
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Jan 11, 2017 01:43
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Rube-Goldberg-machine dad hears the doorbell, and steps on to the chair, looping the noose over his head and ensuring the knot is snug just under his ear. He sighs deeply, and after a brief pause, calls out, "Come in..." He hears the door open, sees his ex-wife peer around the door as she softly calls his name into the foyer. They both started at the solid thump of the counterweight striking the floor somewhere behind him, and he smiled faintly as he heard the scrape and flare of a match lighting. "Oh my god, what are you--" She was cut off by the snap of gunpowder and the sudden clatter of dominos. Then a slight thud, and another, and another, each louder than the previous, clangs now, the crash of glass, the floor beginning to shake, and she catches a flash of the 150 year old grandfather clock behind him, tipping forward and smashing in the back of the chair, sending him into a brief freefall before the rope caught him dangling, inches from the floor, leaving his shoulders and now-purple face still visible as she struggled to comprehend the banner's message: YOU DID THIS Stars and Stripes Forver began to play. She watched now, numb, as more small pyrotechnics detonated and showered her with smoldering debris. She hardly noticed the spring-loaded railroad spikes that fired into his skull, or blade that slashed across the foyer, separating head from dangling body and sending spurts of blood first over the banner and then under, pooling rapidly. The last thing she noted before all became light and chaos, was a familiar metallic springing sound, and the smell of fresh toast.
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Jan 25, 2017 22:49
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Perverts with blindingly bad taste are the worst
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Feb 12, 2017 10:44
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loquacius posted:How long did you keep going? You said you stopped after making eye contact with him, which, ok, yeah, but how long did that take? That's a p key factor in whether you should feel bad IMO The confessor should feel bad about stopping. The situation should have awakened his procreative response; he should get Hulk-boner, disintegrate the condom, and power-wash her uterus with his seed.
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May 12, 2017 14:44
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Therapy goon is a big strong man who is going to get domed in his sleep by his batshit crazy waif therapist
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May 25, 2017 21:04
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You can totally dream under sedation! Usually people don't remember much, but they can be like any other dream - mundane and boring, terrifying, or cool and awesome like bug warrior. Sometimes we'd hear about in the recovery room. I wish I could have awesome dreams that I want to go back to. Mine are always nightmarish or weird.
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Jan 9, 2019 20:12
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Splicer posted:Option 1) talk to your wife (boring) Option 6: cut your dick into pill-sized bits and put those in the sleeping pill bottle
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Apr 3, 2021 20:55
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