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Now that's a confession! Have you started dating again?
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Nov 2, 2016 20:38
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I thought they were done buying you Sherman avs. Guess they just missed seeing em.
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Nov 2, 2016 22:36
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Cumslut1895 posted:Broken dick goon, I don't think you have enough blood. Maybe you need to get some blood from other people So he's a vampire?
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Nov 4, 2016 03:19
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tater_salad posted:is this what happens in animes? You get a nosebleed? True story, one time I got into a fight with a guy at a bar for smacking my girlfriends rear end as she walked by so my nose was bleeding. When we got home she immediately jumped my bones as we walked through the door so she got my blood all over her face/neck/misc. other places. So there has been at least one time a nose bleed lead to sex in real life. Probably a lot more if you count coke nose bleeds.
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Nov 4, 2016 16:36
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Who Is Paul Blart posted:Or you could just ghost your girlfriend. Just move out while she's at work and change your cell phone number. If you ever see her again refuse to admit you've ever met her. I kind of like this idea. Maybe even hire character actor Don Cheadle to show up and tell her this is how life would have been if she made different decisions.
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Nov 4, 2016 18:26
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Fried Watermelon posted:But what if you are Don Cheadle? Then hire Nicholas Cage. Obviously.
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Nov 4, 2016 18:29
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new phone who dis posted:As long as everyone is cool with it it's fine of you feel up your girlfriend in your sleep. I get that guys concern. I have a similar problem, but mine is if someone walks into my room when I'm sleeping or is there when I wake up, but wasn't when I fell asleep, I attack them. I've stopped myself before hurting someone every time so far, but I know there's gonna be that one time I punch a girlfriend in the head and then I'm gonna be "that guy."
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Nov 5, 2016 13:41
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Can't. They'll just tell me there's something wrong with me.
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Nov 5, 2016 14:17
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Yeah, I know thats not how it works, but its not a problem that comes up very often and its not something I actively worry about. Hasn't happened in years honestly. I'm just saying I get why that guy is nervous because its something that happens when he's not in control of himself. I'd empathize the same way with someone that turns into a werewolf, for instance.
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Nov 5, 2016 15:24
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Sjs00 posted:Handcuff yourself when you sleep then Its not fun unless you're awake 
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Nov 5, 2016 17:08
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As far as abducting your kids and fleeing the country goes, using BitCoin as a laundering/stashing tool isn't the worst idea. It's international, doesn't follow any federal regulations, and is near untraceable once cashed out. There's a reason drug/arms dealers use it.
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Nov 6, 2016 09:29
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Teaching your child that knives solve problems is a slippery slope. Look at the UK! It's like knife crime island over the!
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Nov 6, 2016 18:01
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You want a knife in me! See what's going on in there!
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Nov 6, 2016 18:57
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Tell them one of the rules is not to touch your dick. Stop everything immediately if one of them does and make sure your friends can handle stopping things if they need to.
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Nov 7, 2016 03:44
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Monster Spray is an awesome idea. I'm gonna package it and sell it at Toys R Us. "Isn't your child's ease of mind worth $6.99?" edit: Actually, I'm fully licensed, registered, and insured...I could start a monster protection insurance company. Be the same thing really. Solice Kirsk fucked around with this message at 23:00 on Nov 8, 2016 |
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Nov 8, 2016 22:57
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Stuntman posted:slitty axe wound, front butt
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Nov 14, 2016 18:00
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artificially stocked lake posted:fuckhole Let's have some tact. Husband Hole.
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Nov 14, 2016 18:44
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Is it still considered a "cuck" if the husband is joining in? I'd argue that letting anyone else drill your wife would qualify as a "cuck" even if you were actively joining in at the time.
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Nov 14, 2016 19:01
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LethalGeek posted:I mean you could argue that if you're dumb It's about the sanctity of marriage!
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Nov 14, 2016 20:39
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Jose posted:Minge is British Then you could call your dick a clunger! Cause it clears the pipes, you see.
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Nov 14, 2016 21:38
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Cosmic Charlie posted:I havent thought about this in years, but I used to work with an old dude that always called it a "water knot" Wow. That's going into the old lexicon.
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Nov 15, 2016 00:17
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Hopper posted:Open lame confession re the word "minge" There was a guy called Big Pussy on The Sopranos so you're ok.
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Nov 15, 2016 14:11
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limp_cheese posted:I was more weirded out that he was so upset with his wife he couldn't get it up to gently caress her while she is asleep. Is it normal for married couples to have a tacit understanding that if the woman is asleep and the guy is horny he can do whatever he wants? Yes, but the same goes for the woman. Once I woke up and found out I was having sex with my girlfriend. It was a good morning.
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Nov 16, 2016 17:55
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There's a topless maid service. I doubt it would take much convincing to escalate the service.
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Nov 16, 2016 18:15
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There's women out there that want to be in a "traditional" household where they are the homemaker and the husband works so get a divorce and go out and find one. The funny thing about that is because of the stagnation of wages and the nearing death of the true middle class one person earning a normal income is not enough to sustain a family with children.
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Nov 16, 2016 19:12
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Serge Painsbourg posted:The moral of this story is to never have children. Ever. True that. Having a kid on an average income now means you will probably never retire. We're a generation that will have to work well into our 80's while all the Baby Boomers have been retired for like 40 years due to advances in health care. Plotting for the possibility of there being no social security for people in their 30's now is an actual thing to be considered.
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Nov 16, 2016 19:33
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Serge Painsbourg posted:That, plus producing children increases resource consumption. Since we're heading toward a global climate crisis, it's probably not a good idea to have children. They will feed the strong in the dark days to come.
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Nov 16, 2016 19:43
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Wizzle posted:Pay someone in SA Mart to paint it. It might cost a couple hundred bucks but it's better than nothing. Yeah, this is the best way to handle it. You know, besides giving the money back and coming clean.
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Nov 17, 2016 01:32
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Who hasn't felt someone's bare rear end with the back of their hand to check if they have a fever? I do this for coworkers all the time.
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Nov 18, 2016 04:21
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therattle posted:Cleaning-lady punisher: you're disgusting. Do you really think she deserved that, or did you just want an excuse to humiliate somebody over whom you had power? (Clue: more likely the latter). loving rear end in a top hat. Did you just totally miss the part where she parked a little bit into his parking space? He should have fired her and paid a hitman to kill her now penny-less family so that she dies hungry, cold, and alone.
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Nov 18, 2016 17:38
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Having seen a few dead bodies in the street/alleys I'll tell you its best to just not think about it. Move if you have to, but understand that everywhere in a bad neighborhood has probably had some misfortune happen there.
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Nov 22, 2016 03:43
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We never called it a "fight club" but my friends and I used to box each other all the time. We tried using that as the way to settle simple disputes....but that was a bad idea.
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Nov 22, 2016 20:54
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Harakiri Potter posted:I was eating at a Denny's.. I think in Yukon, Oklahoma and these juggalo dudes invited me to their fight club. I had to see it so I followed them over and it was just their parents driveway. They put on football pads and started hitting each other with padded sticks. It was pretty funny. I was laughing and then they started playing with lighter fluid. I left and they were yelling to me come back, come back, we're not done yet. Bless you trucker goon! Yours are the cowboy of the modern age! 
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Nov 22, 2016 23:38
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- John Daly
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Nov 23, 2016 16:44
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Breast milk is at least made specifically for humans to drink. It's weird, but drinking other animal's milk is weird too. Now sucking milk out of your pregnant wife's tits while you're loving is a fetish I can understand, but squirting it in your coffee and selling it to people is hosed up.
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Nov 26, 2016 04:33
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bradzilla posted:lmao you got scammed so loving hard Or use LinkedIn. That poo poo is like honey to flies if you have securities registrations or tech degrees.
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Nov 26, 2016 19:20
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I call my semen "the away team" so maybe? 
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Nov 28, 2016 06:40
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quote:I am an inner-city teacher My favorite part of this is that the simple math doesn't add up. Edit: Never mind, my new favorite part of this is my lack of reading comprehension.
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Nov 28, 2016 15:01
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If I got diagnosed with terminal cancer I would immediately destroy something beautiful and priceless. My most likely target would be The Song of the Lark at the Chicago Art Museum since it's my favorite painting. Just rub kerosene all over it and then shred it to poo poo with a knife/box cutter. I can't think of a more horrible or selfish thing to do, so that's probably the way to go.
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Nov 29, 2016 16:40
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guns for tits posted:How do you mistake a 15 year old for an adult? He obviously just missed the "social cue" about sexually assaulting children.
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Nov 29, 2016 17:04
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