loquacius posted:

9/11 truther

loquacius posted:

asspen goon

loquacius posted:

stdh.txt

loquacius posted:

tl;dr my brother sucked my dick.

loquacius posted:

doob

loquacius posted:

mad about money goon

Bud K ninja sword posted:

hurry up and get arrested gun nut goon, before you hurt someone or get your rear end shot up during your recreational armed robbery fetish.

Cumslut1895 posted:

"Sin Hole"

The Management posted:

Links won't help anything. A hallmark of conspiracy theories, like other schizophrenic delusions, is that they are inherently unprovable. Shadowy groups are doing nefarious things that control our lives, remove our agency, and are ultimately responsible for our failings. No concrete evidence exists, and yet some enlightened persons have become aware of their plot. Of course these powerful groups never strike at the ones who are spilling their secrets, they are helpless to stop any idiot with a web browser from discovering how deep their conspiracy goes. And yet the rest of the world remains blind to their actions, choosing to remain ignorant while only you are sufficiently awake to see past the veil.

loquacius posted:

murder fantasy

CharlestonJew posted:

I still don't exactly get what mad pooper was doing

Was he pooping, wiping his butt with the TP, then wiping the toilet seat with the used TP?

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

I see we're back to pushing boundaries with the Secret Service again. Great job confession thread!

Lou Takki posted:

Pay someone to write your resume goon. I spent a few hundred and it was the best money I ever spent.

loquacius posted:

cancergoon

loquacius posted:

On the off-chance this isn't a troll, it's fantastic

loquacius posted:

goon

quote:

Previous confession from a fellow incel motivated me to submit my own. I'm also incel, but I have a different perspective as I'm a woman.

Men are infinitely more shallow then women, which is my problem. As a man, you can look like poo poo, gain weight, etc. As long as you are a little bit "charismatic" you have dumb skanks fawning all over you, and no time for girls like me. Even more so if you have something to catch their attention, like an eyepatch or a scar or a cast or something. Some "proof" of your manliness. There's nothing like that for us. I can't just go to a bar with an eyepatch and start having men fawn over me - I would look ridiculous.

I was never asked to a dance in middle or high school, I was just that chubby friend whose prettier friends all got dates. The dude bros were too busy dating cheerleaders, and the ugly nerds were pining after those same women. There was nobody left to show any interest in me. Once I worked up the courage to ask out a guy - I'll never do that again. He friend zoned me (yes, men do this far more often than women) and suggested I talk to his friend instead. Sorry, I'm not going to date your sloppy seconds, I have standards.

I've gotten more and more bitter over the years but it's justified. Men barely look at me, let alone ask me out. I've spent so much money at the gym and on various diet plans. None of it works. Every day I walk around, hoping that a guy will pay attention to me, instead of all the dumb whores. It never happens. Guys, despite all they claim, just want a dumb bimbo to sit around and look pretty. I want to talk about history, politics, magic, science, and things like that.

Your loss men. And I hope that incel man on these forums realizes that he's voluntarily not having sex, since people like me are still out there. But good luck finding us with your vision set to only detect "10s" and girls who are "bae" and various other garbage.

loquacius posted:

shower

Solice Kirsk posted:

My buddy married the first girl he dated out of high school and she was the first person he ever slept with and he was her second. They've been together since he was 19 (he's 36 and she's 35), have two kids, supported each other as they each went to school, and are amazingly happy together.

Meanwhile, I have to lie to girls about the number of women I've slept with because saying "I stopped counting once I got over 60...in my mid 20's" isn't a real big turn on to 99% of them.

shippergoon posted:

Working for the post office, I confess that I do not give a poo poo about your package and, at times, will damage your stuff if it means I can get off the road faster.

I'm delivering close to 200 packages a day now, if you think I'm treating every one with love and care then you're loving retarded. You're also a moron if you think I'm the exception, not the norm.

Last night I got back to the building at 9 pm. Realized I had accidentally left 3 boxes in my truck. Those count as lates, which can get me in trouble. So I tossed them back into the sort. They were shipped down to Chicago, where they'll be lost in the sort for a day or so. But they won't count as late on me since I never scanned them. Sorry kids, your overpriced toys might not make it for Christmas! Ask your rich parents to buy you more, snowflake.

One time, we were bombarded with people getting the new Iphone. A lot of black neighborhoods of course, really run done places were they SHOCKINGLY have money for the new phone every year. I slipped the phone out of the box of one, resealed it, then tossed the phone on the porch of a neighboring house. I like to imagine they got in a huge fight over it. That's the only thing that could have gotten me fired, but nobody ever found out.

Sjs00 posted:

So today my workplace threw us a 'christmas party' that involved going to the pub down the street and buying us lunch before returning us to the bullshit work that they pay me minimum wage to get up at 7:30 AM to do. All of my coworkers are 45+ and a stunning racial mix of asian black and white. Of course the oldest black woman who is pushing 50 talks about her 30+ family of children, and grandchildren which pisses me right off because drat lady close your legs. She is also constantly running her arm down my back whenever she walks by that I had to complain to the boss lady about it who just laughed it off. I'm seriously going to ask her what her favorite way to smoke crack is tomorrow!1! Really, this woman is like an old vacuum cleaner that has sucked up one too many shards of glass but instead of glass its black penises; her laugh, the one that females execute to let a potential mate know that they are willing to copulate ( you know the one ) sounds like a ragged crack smoker's wheeze combined with the sound of vocal cords clogged with long pubic hairs and literal chunks of penis. I'm also not even old enough to get into a pub!!!

loquacius posted:

happygoon

loquacius posted:

Tyler Durden

loquacius posted:

guntard

loquacius posted:

sociopath goon

Jim Barris posted:

Sometimes when I see people with bumber stickers that are egregiously stupid I break all the valve stems on their tires. I'm not sure if that's what its called but basically their tires go flat. It's fairly passive-aggressive and petty but, well, I hate those dumb loving stickers of calvin pissing on various things.

quote:

psychicgoon

The Management posted:

loquacius posted:

whiter than a Wilco show posted:

Stable poly




Ahahahhaahahhahhshshhshshshhshhahahahhahahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahaha

Bubblyblubber posted:

therapist bae, so what

loquacius posted:

For the past 7ish years I've looked for ways to reduce my sex drive. It's not particularly high but I would much rather spend the energy on my hobbies or work. Spending 10 hours a week jacking off is a huge waste of time and I could really use the sleep.

free basket of chips posted:

Does your wife work from home