Life is rough in Obama's America

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Life is rough in Obama's America

Senior Management

I can't seem to handle this government mandated gay marijuana. I always pass out before I smoke my quota and wake up in reeducation camp.

:jerry:

# ? Sep 29, 2016 23:16

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# ? Apr 30, 2024 07:29

Senior Management

At first these new death camps for men kind of sucked, but at least we can all watch the sports games in peace.

:jerry:

# ? Sep 29, 2016 23:17

Jerry Mumphrey: by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

I don't know why Obama always comes by and changes whatever music I'm listening to to Guns n' Roses and makes a "V" with his fingers and waggles his tongue between them, but I guess he's the expert

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# ? Sep 29, 2016 23:26

saucyseadweller: So Damn Saucy

Dc looks so different now that the monuments have been replaced with Statues of Lenin and Stalin but whatcha gonna do?*shrugs*

# ? Sep 29, 2016 23:29

Senior Management

Everyone else seems so miserable now that all dairy milk has been replaced with soy milk. But I just sit back and laugh. I only ever drink gin.

:jerry:

# ? Sep 29, 2016 23:32

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

saucyseadweller posted:

Dc looks so different now that the monuments have been replaced with Statues of Lenin and Stalin but whatcha gonna do?*shrugs*

The Bill Ayers Memorial is my favorite place in the spring.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 23:33

Coolness Averted: oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

You know, I used to think replacing "Under God" with "Thanks Obama" in the pledge of allegiance was kinda gauche and didn't fit, but I'm really coming around to it.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 00:53

Fanky Malloons: Is your social worker inside that horse?

I though it was gonna be real hard to learn how to read and write in Arabic, but it turns out that as a woman in the United States of ISIS I'm not allowed to read or write anyway SO.

:krad: sig brought to you by the amazing & beautiful vanisher, feat. Helle Woods, artisinally designed by Death Sext !!!

# ? Sep 30, 2016 02:36

City of Glompton

Fanky Malloons posted:

I though it was gonna be real hard to learn how to read and write in Arabic, but it turns out that as a woman in the United States of ISIS I'm not allowed to read or write anyway SO.

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Sep 30, 2016 02:43

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Coolness Averted posted:

You know, I used to think replacing "Under God" with "Thanks Obama" in the pledge of allegiance was kinda gauche and didn't fit, but I'm really coming around to it.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 02:55

Lastgirl: Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

shave and a harelip posted:

argh

g*sh d*rn it obama!!1 :argh:

# ? Sep 30, 2016 04:12

HighwireAct: Pozzo's Hat

shave and a harelip posted:

argh

Lmbo

(Loving Mr. Barrack Obama)

# ? Sep 30, 2016 05:21

sebmojo: Legit Cyberpunk

I didn't have my bus fare and Obama said hey here's a couple of bucks and I said no that's ok I'll walk its only afew stops and he said no seriously here's the money and I said thanks

# ? Sep 30, 2016 07:00

Senior Management

Fanky Malloons posted:

I though it was gonna be real hard to learn how to read and write in Arabic, but it turns out that as a woman in the United States of ISIS I'm not allowed to read or write anyway SO.

yeah but at least you never have to worry about sunburn again. My beard is down to my waist and is very itchy but there is nothing that I can do about it.

:jerry:

# ? Sep 30, 2016 09:37

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

Lastgirl posted:

g*sh d*rn it obama!!1

# ? Sep 30, 2016 10:13

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

as a violent criminal I was sentenced to the 'chair', turns out it was just sitting on a chair for an hour thinking about what I did instead of getting electrocuted.. guess I'll just have to go on living then. Thanks obama :argh:

# ? Sep 30, 2016 10:17

saucyseadweller: So Damn Saucy

Now that Tumblr has become an official government organization all citizens are required to state what gender they identify as before every sentence so they don't mislabel someone. The punishment for forgetting is swift and severe.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 16:31

loquacius

Ahundredbux posted:

as a violent criminal I was sentenced to the 'chair', turns out it was just sitting on a chair for an hour thinking about what I did instead of getting electrocuted.. guess I'll just have to go on living then. Thanks obama

Man, they're really "sticking it" to you domestic violent criminals, huh? I'm an illegal immigrant criminal, and whenever a cop catches me doing a crime, instead of arresting me he is legally obligated to give me a big wet kiss right on the lips :smug:

# ? Sep 30, 2016 17:26

loquacius

Also the illegal immigrant meetings where we write your laws and argue over who gets to steal your wives are a lot of fun, there's always a big fancy halal buffet

# ? Sep 30, 2016 17:27

eonwe

I knew Obamacare would kill me. I have been selected to be euthanized as I was drawn in the death panel lottery. The only thing that saves me now is the government bureaucracy and red tape that I so hated before.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 17:27

loquacius

Surprisingly Christmas is still a holiday, but now you have to celebrate it by cutting up and eating a New Testament using crucifixes as utensils while a DHS agent looks on threateningly

and it's only a half day off work too

# ? Sep 30, 2016 17:33

City of Glompton

Eonwe posted:

I knew Obamacare would kill me. I have been selected to be euthanized as I was drawn in the death panel lottery. The only thing that saves me now is the government bureaucracy and red tape that I so hated before.

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Sep 30, 2016 17:34

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

I hate that the National Anthem is "gently caress Tha Police" now. Couldn't they have picked something a little easier for ordinary people to sing? Everyone always screws up Eazy-E's verse.

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# ? Sep 30, 2016 17:34

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

change.org petition to fly the flag at half-mast whenever anyone is triggered.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 30, 2016 17:36

eonwe

I was there the day they banned Pepe the Frog. Feels bad man.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 17:45

Higgy

misty mountaintop posted:

change.org petition to fly the flag at half-mast whenever anyone is triggered.

change.org petitions are now legally binding and the only method of legislation ever since Obama abolished Congress and replaced the Supreme Court with the judges from The Voice.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 17:46

loquacius

Eonwe posted:

I was there the day they banned Pepe the Frog. Feels bad man.

Pepe actually made eye contact with me as they hauled him off to the guillotine. I couldn't hold his intense gaze. My eyes went immediately to the ground in front of me. There was too much shame in my heart, at my own cowardice.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 17:54

saucyseadweller: So Damn Saucy

The American flag change was a shock to many but i kinda like it, rainbow is much nicer to look at than red, white and blue.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 18:01

loquacius

saucyseadweller posted:

The American flag change was a shock to many but i kinda like it, rainbow is much nicer to look at than red, white and blue.

At first I thought replacing the stars with a bunch of Islamic crescent moons was a violation of church and state, but then the islamocommunist thought police disappeared my children so I stopped thinking that for my own safety

# ? Sep 30, 2016 18:13

Fanky Malloons: Is your social worker inside that horse?

Higgy posted:

change.org petitions are now legally binding and the only method of legislation ever since Obama abolished Congress and replaced the Supreme Court with the judges from The Voice.

:krad: sig brought to you by the amazing & beautiful vanisher, feat. Helle Woods, artisinally designed by Death Sext !!!

# ? Sep 30, 2016 19:59

Twerkteam Pizza

gently caress I forgot to pick up my pronoun vitamins today, my social justice worker is going to kick my butt with a harsh scolding

# ? Oct 1, 2016 06:20

Starshark

Hillary killed four people, including a mod, and Obama just let her up and get away with it...

# ? Oct 1, 2016 06:41

Coolness Averted: oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

Starshark posted:

Hillary killed four people, including a mod, and Obama just let her up and get away with it...

*adjusts glasses* Well actually, that was in Obama's Libya

# ? Oct 1, 2016 07:55

Nathilus: I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

The epa poisoned my river and killed my cattle.

# ? Oct 1, 2016 14:29

alnilam

Nathilus posted:

The epa poisoned my river and killed my cattle.

nice av/post combo

# ? Oct 1, 2016 14:42

Senior Management

I can barely fit my mandatory Islam class into my busy Sunday schedule as is, but now I have to find another four hours every weekend for my equally mandatory and schedule conflicting Atheism is session as well. Life is hard when big government forces you to adhere to a rigid Gay Islamic Atheist schedule. I should have voted Ron Paul.

:jerry:

# ? Oct 1, 2016 16:00