- Ace of Baes
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Every morning I wake up and kiss my government issued gay boyfriend, I don't want to but it's the law.
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Sep 29, 2016 08:09
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May 20, 2024 23:33
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- Ace of Baes
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After I get out of bed I stretch and walk down stairs to eat my breakfast, vegan gluten free soy bacon, the only breakfast item sold in stores now.
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Sep 29, 2016 08:09
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- Ace of Baes
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At first it was hard to adjust to living in a FEMA internment camp, but ever since I got a job on a death panel things have been going more smoothly.
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Sep 29, 2016 08:12
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- Ace of Baes
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It's highly illegal to accidentally misgender someone, which is difficult since we're all required to wear full body burkas, luckily Ezra Klein is constantly blaring from the government installed loudspeakers, so if you do slip up, they probably wont be able to hear you.
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Sep 29, 2016 08:13
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- Ace of Baes
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It was a downer when George Soros used his secret hurricane machine to destroy all white people's homes, but life inside the FEMA camp sure has a sense of community.
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Sep 29, 2016 08:14
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- Ace of Baes
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Guy Who melts down guns to build statues of Obama: It's a living.
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Sep 29, 2016 15:13
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- Ace of Baes
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at first I was bummed about the mandatory birth control and abortions but once I was forced to adopt a whole extended clan of Syrian refugees, I learned that family is made in your heart not your womb
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Sep 29, 2016 17:45
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May 20, 2024 23:33
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- Ace of Baes
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Obama made me and Fat Arnie smoke doobies and then he forced us to get gay married in front of the sacred Wiccan corn patch. I was totally freaking out and going "no way" at first, but now I really want to make this relationship work. How can I get my forcibly gay married cell-cum-soul mate to get on board?
lol
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Oct 4, 2016 04:13
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Sep 29, 2016 08:09
