The feminist bookstore from Portlandia is angry!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The feminist bookstore from Portlandia is angry!

Reince Penis: Nov 15, 2007; by R. Guyovich

fishing with the fam posted:

Why would you go to that lovely little bookstore anyway when Portland has Powell's city of books? A place that owns and isn't filled with humorless assholes.

Humorless assholes?

Someone get these girls an account!

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:10

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:29

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Oscar Wild posted:

They have non gendered open restrooms. You can poo poo your pants if you want to though, I won't micro-agress you.

*pees on toilet seat* :mrapig:

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:12

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Curdy Lemonstan posted:

Oh I didnt read the thread, I dont mean you guys you are probably ~~hateful alt-right gbs goons~~ chill, but internet general

Ok well then that makes you look like an even bigger rear end because now you're the guy who ran into a thread without even reading it jabbering about internet justice or whatever :thumbsup:

1/5, weak-rear end gimmick

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:23

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

PK loving SUBBAN posted:

Humorless assholes?

Someone get these girls an account!

no stop it's bad enough we have SMG in CD

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:24

OMG JC a Bomb!: Jul 13, 2004; We are the Invisible Spatula. We are the Grilluminati. We eat before and after dinner. We eat forever. And eventually... eventually we will lead them into the dining room.

I pay good money to an older lady in leather to deprive me of my bodily autonomy at least once a week. I don't see what their problem is.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:24

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

How much money does that place make

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:26

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

OMG JC a Bomb! posted:

I pay good money to an older lady in leather to deprive me of my bodily autonomy at least once a week. I don't see what their problem is.

so does she always start with the buttplug or what

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:27

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

The feminist bookstore from Portland is angry. The clouds gather. The storm is coming.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:27

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

FactsAreUseless posted:

The feminist bookstore from Portland is angry. The clouds gather. The storm is coming.

but but we've been sacrificing cishet virgins to the delivery entrance out back once a month just like we're supposed to, what did we do wrong?!

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:28

OMG JC a Bomb!: Jul 13, 2004; We are the Invisible Spatula. We are the Grilluminati. We eat before and after dinner. We eat forever. And eventually... eventually we will lead them into the dining room.

Uncle Wemus posted:

How much money does that place make

25% less than the Bookstore of Manliness for selling the same books

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:29

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

OMG JC a Bomb! posted:

25% less than the Bookstore of Manliness for selling the same books

It would be called Dick's Hardcover Classics, dumbass.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:30

kikkelivelho: Aug 27, 2015

FactsAreUseless posted:

The feminist bookstore from Portland is angry.

anthropomorphism has finally gone too far

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:32

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

The feminist bookstore from Portlandia is hungry.

The feminist bookstore from Portlandia is sick of CERTAIN PEOPLE acting like Taylor is better than Bey.

The feminist bookstore from Portlandia misses you, Bernice. It's sorry. [later deleted]

The feminist bookstore from Portlandia is pretty pumped for the gym, gals!

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:35

MiracleWhale: Jun 30, 2015

Roylicious posted:

Oh my god that store is real?

"Capitalism is BAD!"
*owns and operates a small business*

Gay Shame SF, an intersectional political action group which is every bit as sane and reasonable as its name suggests, had a stenciling campaign where they spray painted "DIY business is still gentrification" on the sidewalk in front of hip local businesses in the mission neighborhood of SF. hilariously they spray painted this message in front of Modern Times Bookstore which is not only a local DIY business that has been there since the 70s, but is also the place where Gay Shame SF meets, infuriating the owners to the point where they almost got forbidden from returning there.

http://www.mattildabernsteinsycamore.com/maximum/maximum_may2006.html

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:43

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

FactsAreUseless posted:

The feminist bookstore from Portlandia is hungry.

The feminist bookstore from Portlandia is sick of CERTAIN PEOPLE acting like Taylor is better than Bey.

The feminist bookstore from Portlandia misses you, Bernice. It's sorry. [later deleted]

The feminist bookstore from Portlandia is pretty pumped for the gym, gals!

Is this a reference to old-style Facebook requiring you to start your status updates with your name (and before that your name followed by the word "is")

because if so I like it

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:43

paul_soccer10: Mar 28, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

loquacius posted:

I actually visited Portland mostly because of Portlandia, we were in Seattle for a week and took the train down to see Portland for a couple days

Sour beers are good, donuts are good, lines are bad, restaurants are good, wine is good, that video arcade with cheap craft beer on tap fuckin' ruled, Pittock Mansion was cool, and Powell's City Of Books was fantastic, but we made the mistake of going on a vacation to a non-tropical location in February so the weather was bad and that kinda ruined it a little

Like, the weather was way better than it was at home (in Boston) but you still don't wanna go on vacation and have it be 45 degrees and drizzly the whole time

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:43

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

Calm down

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:44

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Rubellavator posted:

Calm down

I'm angrier than the feminist bookstore from Portlandia :mad:

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:46

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

MiracleWhale posted:

Gay Shame SF, an intersectional political action group which is every bit as sane and reasonable as its name suggests, had a stenciling campaign where they spray painted "DIY business is still gentrification" on the sidewalk in front of hip local businesses in the mission neighborhood of SF. hilariously they spray painted this message in front of Modern Times Bookstore which is not only a local DIY business that has been there since the 70s, but is also the place where Gay Shame SF meets, infuriating the owners to the point where they almost got forbidden from returning there.

http://www.mattildabernsteinsycamore.com/maximum/maximum_may2006.html

from the link:

quote:

It would be great if Gay Shame could conceive of a "solution"for gentrification, but we don't pretend to have the answers. In this case we were instigating a first step: challenging DIY business owners and patrons to acknowledge their role in gentrification.

I like how the author was self-aware enough to commit that sentence to paper, but not self-aware enough to understand how loving retarded the statement he made was

"DIY business is still gentrification!"
"OK, thank you for letting us know, what should we do?"
"uhhh?"

e: holy poo poo the amount of self-fellating in that article is incredible

Snow Cone Capone fucked around with this message at 21:50 on Sep 30, 2016

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:47

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

The feminist bookstore from Portlandia is what it is. It is who it is. IT WILL BE WHAT IT WILL BE.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:48

kikkelivelho: Aug 27, 2015

feminist bookstore comes alive in Portlandia, seeks final solution to gentrification.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:50

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

FactsAreUseless posted:

The feminist bookstore from Portlandia is what it is. It is who it is. IT WILL BE WHAT IT WILL BE.

Have you been bingeing out on Welcome to Night Vale or what (I'm not complaining)

# ? Sep 30, 2016 21:53

spank my snatch: Jun 4, 2009

The world holds its breath as the feminist bookstore from Portlandia stirs

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:17

OMG JC a Bomb!: Jul 13, 2004; We are the Invisible Spatula. We are the Grilluminati. We eat before and after dinner. We eat forever. And eventually... eventually we will lead them into the dining room.

MiracleWhale posted:

Gay Shame SF, an intersectional political action group which is every bit as sane and reasonable as its name suggests, had a stenciling campaign where they spray painted "DIY business is still gentrification" on the sidewalk in front of hip local businesses in the mission neighborhood of SF. hilariously they spray painted this message in front of Modern Times Bookstore which is not only a local DIY business that has been there since the 70s, but is also the place where Gay Shame SF meets, infuriating the owners to the point where they almost got forbidden from returning there.

http://www.mattildabernsteinsycamore.com/maximum/maximum_may2006.html

Maybe they felt shame for the role they played in gentrification.

Gay Shame.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:22

Homeroom Fingering: Apr 25, 2009; The secret history (((they))) don't want you to know

Don't go down there child. On nights like this, when the moon is full and there is a stillness in the air, the basement becomes the domain of the feminist bookstore... and it is angry.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:22

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Kelp Me! posted:

Have you been bingeing out on Welcome to Night Vale or what (I'm not complaining)

http://biblehub.com/exodus/3-14.htm

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:24

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Guy hearing extremely famous bible quote: Is that from Night Vale.

Me: *praying silently for America*

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:25

Push El Burrito: May 9, 2006; Soiled Meat

I opened and meninist bookstore but messed up the name and now my store is filled with Amish looking people

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:25

bag em and tag em: Nov 4, 2008

Rubellavator posted:

Calm down

The feminist bookstore from Portlandia is tired of being told to calm down.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:26

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

FactsAreUseless posted:

Guy hearing extremely famous bible quote: Is that from Night Vale.

Me: *praying silently for America*

Guy seeing multiple posts that ascribe Lovecraftian traits to a small building: Is that from Night Vale?

Me: *wondering what being unfamiliar with bible quotes has to do with being American*

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:40

skeevy achievements: Feb 25, 2008; by merry exmarx

Kelp Me! posted:

"DIY business is still gentrification!"
"OK, thank you for letting us know, what should we do?"
"uhhh?"

strangely enough the proposed solution is always the same:

"give us money/power to atone for your sins"

not like the priesthood at all, no xir

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:41

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Kelp Me! posted:

Guy seeing multiple posts that ascribe Lovecraftian traits to a small building: Is that from Night Vale?

Me: *wondering why being unfamiliar with bible quotes has to do with being American*

This is a Christian Nation, and if you ever went to church you might know that. But you don't go to church, do you? You just go to the feminist bookstore from Portlandia.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:41

Roylicious: Feb 21, 2012; Braver than the cops
ain't afraid of no chaps
If they steppin up on me
I just start bustin some caps

The bricks groan and the wood cracks. The glass creaks and the lights flicker.

The Feminist Book Store demands sacrifice.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:43

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

skeevy achievements posted:

strangely enough the proposed solution is always the same:

"give us money/power to atone for your sins"

not like the priesthood at all, no sir

I mean at least the guy is honest about "we literally have no solution"

FactsAreUseless posted:

This is a Christian Nation, and if you ever went to church you might know that. But you don't go to church, do you? You just go to the feminist bookstore from Portlandia.

Hey I go to synagogue once every few years! I just learned the bible in the One True Godly Language :smug:

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:45

BIG PUFFY NIPS: Mar 7, 2007; College Slice

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into the feminist bookstore from Portlandia.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:45

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Last night, there was no 15-foot tall, two-foot thick rectangle made of blue slate towering over the faded grass and weakened tulip garden in front of City Hall. But now, there is. A feminist book store, with indifferent geometry and a long, sharp shadow cast by the low morning sun. It is an ominous construction, channeling ancient powers and long-dead gods. Perhaps, it is even connected to our primordial extra-terrestrial ancestry. And now, just a few days before Christmas, this looming, dark store shows up mysteriously in the night, casting scornful shadows across both our dreams and our primitive understanding of the world.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:46

OMG JC a Bomb!: Jul 13, 2004; We are the Invisible Spatula. We are the Grilluminati. We eat before and after dinner. We eat forever. And eventually... eventually we will lead them into the dining room.

A feminist bookstore is problematic because it creates a monetary barrier between the public and feminist thought, thus insuring that only the monied privileged elite have access to it.

I suppose you might find some relevant books in your public library, but hobos masturbate in there.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:49

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Kelp Me! posted:

Hey I go to synagogue once every few years! I just learned the bible in the One True Godly Language

Oh, your synagogue taught in English?

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:51

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

I am genuinely curious as to how the people working that store would react to a guy walking into the store by himself.

I'd like to think they'd be super friendly and pretty jazzed that a guy was genuinely interested in learning about feminism and how to contribute to gender equality from the other side of the fence, but history (and Tumblr) tells me that would not be the case.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:52

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:29

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

FactsAreUseless posted:

Oh, your synagogue taught in English?

just loving lol if you didn't learn the bible in Neo-Assyrian Aramaic

# ? Sep 30, 2016 22:53

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