tiny computer problems

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > tiny computer problems

joke_explainer

if your computer is 1.08 kg and is tinier than 1.604*10^27 meters in radius, it will instantly collapse into a black hole, possibly being the smallest computer ever (though it will immediately evaporate (actually in 1.059*10^-16 seconds (the luminosity released as hawking radiation should be an energy equivalent of over 23 megatons of TNT, which might be harsh)))

joke_explainer fucked around with this message at 09:11 on Oct 6, 2016

# ? Oct 6, 2016 09:01

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 20:58

a star war betamax: by Lowtax

Computer gets lodged in urethra because it is just too darn small and because it's shaped like one of those Amazonian catfish

# ? Oct 6, 2016 09:25

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

joke_explainer posted:

the long term trend of miniaturization of electronics has been amazing for making things portable, light, and easier to use... the computers got really small, small as they could be and still be practical to use. but they didn't stop! *holds head in hands, sobbing* now the computer is too tiny to use at all!!very impractical!!!

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# ? Oct 6, 2016 11:40

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

I know you think you're being funny, quoting Zoolander, but yes, I did make this computer for ants, a fact which can be deduced from its being small, too small for a human being to use. My insurance representative will be in contact with you, in regards to the damage you did to my computer. It was my first, and only, prototype. You failed to handle it with care due to the discrepancy between your size (human), and its size (ant, obviously). You should have known, because of how tiny it was. Now it lies in ruins.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Oct 6, 2016 11:45

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

I am very large in comparison to my computer which is very small

# ? Oct 6, 2016 12:14

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Ahundredbux posted:

I am very large in comparison to my computer which is very small

PEBKAC

# ? Oct 6, 2016 12:18

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

misty mountaintop posted:

PEBKAC

I am normal sized next to a normal sized computer

# ? Oct 6, 2016 12:55

Macnult

misty mountaintop posted:

I know you think you're being funny, quoting Zoolander, but yes, I did make this computer for ants, a fact which can be deduced from its being small, too small for a human being to use. My insurance representative will be in contact with you, in regards to the damage you did to my computer. It was my first, and only, prototype. You failed to handle it with care due to the discrepancy between your size (human), and its size (ant, obviously). You should have known, because of how tiny it was. Now it lies in ruins.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 14:17

google THIS

I have tiny headphones lost in my hair and a tiny VR headset perched on the bridge of my nose. they are tiny because they are accessories for my miniature computer and they were built to a similar scale. it's funny, because they are much smaller and less practical than such hardware normally would be

# ? Oct 6, 2016 14:56

Im Ready for DEATH

Mom we need to go to Best Buy

I sneezed again

# ? Oct 6, 2016 17:14

Macnult

my tiny computer can't handle java so i'm forced to use decaf with sugarcube

# ? Oct 6, 2016 18:18

Macnult

i still call it a mouse, but with a computer this size is that correct?

# ? Oct 6, 2016 18:19

Arkanomen: All he wants is a hug

Macnult posted:

i still call it a mouse, but with a computer this size is that correct?

For computers this small we call it the Mite.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 18:28

flavor.flv: I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches

Oh man, it was terrible. I unplugged my router and rebooted my computer ten times and it still wouldn't connect. I was talking on the phone with tech support and they were totally useless, but then my breath hit the computer when I yelled and moved it half a millimeter to the left. They should make the wavelength of the wifi signal shorter so this doesn't happen to anybody else.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 18:48

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

You might think a tiny computer would be a funny computer, because of its ludicrous dimensions. But actually, it is tragic, because its itty-bitty size makes it easy to lose, and it had all my torrented episodes of Legend of the Galactic Heroes on it.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Oct 6, 2016 20:27

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Ah, Fortune, you wretched bitch! Do you think it was funny to bring this tiny computer into existence? Look at the pathetic scene you have created: a paramecium is using the computer, and it does nothing but type the letter B over and over again!

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Oct 6, 2016 20:31

Macnult

misty mountaintop posted:

Ah, Fortune, you wretched bitch! Do you think it was funny to bring this tiny computer into existence? Look at the pathetic scene you have created: a paramecium is using the computer, and it does nothing but type the letter B over and over again!

lol

# ? Oct 6, 2016 20:37

Instruction Manuel: Yes, it is what it looks like!

Whenever I lose the computer in the fibers of the carpet I console myself with a little TV

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuZr_vxWr3s

# ? Oct 6, 2016 20:40

social vegan

oh yes that mitochondria is the powerhouse of my dell

# ? Oct 6, 2016 20:41

Manifisto

looking to snort a line of tiny computers to cheat on my cs exam, not sure which linux distro to install

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Oct 6, 2016 21:18

Android Blues

google THIS posted:

tech support: is the computer powered on?

me: it's simultaneously on and off because I'm not observing it at the moment

# ? Oct 6, 2016 21:42

Android Blues

misty mountaintop posted:

I took this dude home and called him Computer Dick and he thought it was a compliment. Later, my computer suffered a mishap, due to its extremely small size.

misty mountaintop posted:

My computer is not tiny, it is just very far away, or very long ago.

misty mountaintop posted:

"Who would make a computer this tiny?" I think. Then it occurs to me. Tiny people made this tiny computer, unaware of the catastrophes that would befall it in the regular-size world.

misty mountaintop posted:

I know you think you're being funny, quoting Zoolander, but yes, I did make this computer for ants, a fact which can be deduced from its being small, too small for a human being to use. My insurance representative will be in contact with you, in regards to the damage you did to my computer. It was my first, and only, prototype. You failed to handle it with care due to the discrepancy between your size (human), and its size (ant, obviously). You should have known, because of how tiny it was. Now it lies in ruins.

misty mountaintop posted:

Ah, Fortune, you wretched bitch! Do you think it was funny to bring this tiny computer into existence? Look at the pathetic scene you have created: a paramecium is using the computer, and it does nothing but type the letter B over and over again!

# ? Oct 6, 2016 21:44

Android Blues

these posts...they're incredible...

# ? Oct 6, 2016 21:45

google THIS

i know how fast my internet connection is, but i don't know its position

# ? Oct 6, 2016 21:55

google THIS

yeah, more quantum mechanics humor, that's how we roll here in the 'yob :rock:

# ? Oct 6, 2016 21:55

alnilam

google THIS posted:

yeah, more quantum mechanics humor, that's how we roll here in the 'yob

it's called quantum humor because it contains the smallest possible amount of humor :twisted:

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Oct 6, 2016 21:56

google THIS

alnilam posted:

it's called quantum humor because it contains the smallest possible amount of humor

# ? Oct 6, 2016 21:59

social vegan

could I interest you in some
Netflix and squint

# ? Oct 6, 2016 22:05

Arkanomen: All he wants is a hug

I can't visit any sites on my microputer unless
some sends them to me via tinyurl.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 22:11

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

social vegan posted:

oh yes that mitochondria is the powerhouse of my dell

# ? Oct 6, 2016 22:12

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

social vegan posted:

could I interest you in some
Netflix and squint

# ? Oct 6, 2016 22:13

Business Gorillas

Actually, it's about ethics in single-cell journalism

# ? Oct 6, 2016 22:17

Business Gorillas

alnilam posted:

it's called quantum humor because it contains the smallest possible amount of humor

# ? Oct 6, 2016 22:19

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

Is the YQH (yob quantum humor) a fundamental unit, or can it be defined in terms of other fundamental units?
Also, what is the relationship between YQH and YQC (yob quantum chill)?

# ? Oct 6, 2016 22:45

google THIS

Barking Gecko posted:

Is the YQH (yob quantum humor) a fundamental unit, or can it be defined in terms of other fundamental units?
Also, what is the relationship between YQH and YQC (yob quantum chill)?

6.9*10^420 YQC/YQH

# ? Oct 6, 2016 22:48

Historical Wizards

I was trying to cheat on a test using my tiny computer, but then I turned the page and it blew away.

Many thanks Social Vegan for the wonderful av, and Fanky Malloons for the sig

# ? Oct 6, 2016 23:06

Android Blues

*trying desperately to cram the binary into the computer despite a tiny flashing warning screen telling me 0 is too large a number*

# ? Oct 6, 2016 23:14

Arkanomen: All he wants is a hug

My tiny computer had a little error and is trying to beep at me but it's hard pushing a single molecule of air around at a time but it's okay, I heard you little computer.

# ? Oct 6, 2016 23:19

Android Blues

wearable computing is really huge right now. i will be wearing my computer for instance until i next wash this sweater, and until then, it will serve as a stock terminal / weather reader / step counter for microfauna, lint, etc, nourishing the funny cartoon economy that lives on my clothes in the detergent commercial i, a distant rumbling voice, exist in

# ? Oct 6, 2016 23:25

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 20:58

Android Blues

it could also be a quirky cult hit children's cartoon - i don't know - i can't really hear what i'm saying

# ? Oct 6, 2016 23:32

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