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grandma: boy I am feeling it. you want something? grandma's going to go get some saltines in milk. me: nah, I'm good. *much time passes* me: I wonder where grandma went. *gets up and starts looking around, a tiny little voice is heard from grandma's pile of dolls* dolls: come to us. me: uh... dolls: you can be a doll too. me: *freaking out* uhhhhhhhhh... dolls: if you won't come to us *grandma leaps out of the pile of dolls* WE'LL COME TO YOU! me: ahhhhh! *falls over* grandma: hahaha you should see the look on your face! me: grammmmmaaaaaa, you could have given me a heart attack! grandma: hahaha, whatever dummkopf! me:... grandma: and also I love you. me: awwww ---------------- |
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Oct 7, 2016 17:18
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| # ¿ May 3, 2024 20:36 |
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hey I never noticed it before grandma, but you're pretty hairy... *is talking to grandma's toy poodle* ...and small. ---------------- |
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Oct 7, 2016 19:59
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grandma: I'm so high right now, deary... *gets excited look on her face* grandma:...that... *gets even more excited* grandma:...I feel like I'm gonna... *gets so excited. just too excited* me:...oh god, here it comes. grandma:... have a GRAND MAW SEIZURE, AHAHAHA me: oh wow, eesh. dad: *pops head around corner wearing beer hat and smoking joint* ahahahahaha me: did you have something to do with this? dad: I totally did! grandma: he totally did! nice one, son! dad: thanks mom! me: I'm mortified. dad: hi mortified, I'm dad! hahaha grandma: hi dad, I'm grand maw seizure! I'm a seizure! hahaha me: you two are the worst, lol everyone: lol ---------------- |
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Oct 7, 2016 21:28
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me: smoking weed with my gam gam. grandma: that's right, but you're under arrest because your gammers is AN UNDERCOVER COP! *whips out gun* me: wait, why? we live in Denver. grandma: oh... oh yeah... grandma:...well I still really am an undercover cop... grandma:...you gotta admit that's pretty cool *puts gun back in knit holster* ---------------- |
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Oct 8, 2016 14:19
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me: why doesn't grandpa ever smoke with us? grandma: that doddering old bitch went straight edge in 2003 grandpa: *sits in corner listening to minor threat, drawing x's on his hands* ---------------- |
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Oct 8, 2016 14:26
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