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Crumpet Strumpet posted:- constantly mutters 'this is loving insane guys' under breath during meetings yikes, hittin a lil close to home here |
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Oct 8, 2016 21:30
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- knows how to spot vampire nests - has eaten at least one (1) really good Philly cheesesteak before - cool friend |
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Oct 8, 2016 22:31
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Oct 9, 2016 00:32
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Nooner posted:- knows how to spot vampire nests - 
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Oct 9, 2016 01:08
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- always knows where dollar beers are |
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Oct 9, 2016 03:14
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-smokes weed every day
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Oct 9, 2016 03:20
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-able to leap small buildings with a running start. -lists Ralp as a reference. |
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Oct 9, 2016 03:23
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i'm looking up answers as we speak, OP. Hang in there!
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Oct 9, 2016 04:43
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crr posted:i'm looking up answers as we speak, OP. Hang in there! gotta pad both the beater head and reso head then tune down to just barely when it resonates evenly. that's how you get a good deep tone. |
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Oct 9, 2016 07:29
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- gluten tolerant
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Oct 9, 2016 14:20
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-smashes the backboard on every dunk |
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Oct 9, 2016 14:44
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-delivered six snakes
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Oct 9, 2016 15:33
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-fourth wise men, they don't talk about me because I brought hemp, which big agriculture doesn't want you to know about hey have you read the emperor wears no clothes |
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Oct 9, 2016 15:43
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- probably knows more about nibiru the manmade planet hidden behind the moon than anyone else in your workplace when you think about it that way it's kinda like you guys should be applying to me haha! |
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Oct 9, 2016 15:49
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-can pet any animal no matter how ferocious with only minor bite marks or maulings |
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Oct 9, 2016 18:07
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Is generally able to show up to work and keep pants on all day |
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Oct 9, 2016 18:21
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- my chili contains corn and no meat but everyone really likes it and asks for my recipe, but i'll never tell
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Oct 10, 2016 00:19
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- vapes, but doesn't make a big deal out of it - connie refit enterprise was the best - exerts total control over all employees after eating royal jelly - rearrange the letters of my name and you can spell "eat my shorts"
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Oct 10, 2016 00:26
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- watched entire presidential debate without posting about it on social media - saw a bad movie in theaters but stayed for the whole thing while keeping a positive, optimistic attitude - able to clench and make fart silent no matter how much taco bell consumed prior - beat dark souls Good luck on the job hunt duder |
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Oct 10, 2016 12:25
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- able to inflate guts and effectively "inhale" air through anus - adaptable to any work environment |
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Oct 11, 2016 22:32
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-good attendance -sharp pencils -rarely blinks |
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Oct 11, 2016 23:44
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- has piece of the crag |
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Oct 12, 2016 01:07
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- smart enough to crowdsource resumé
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Oct 12, 2016 10:30
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- hot eats, cool treats |
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Oct 12, 2016 11:12
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Try searing your resume on a porterhouse or tomahawk chop, op |
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Oct 12, 2016 21:32
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- constantly spitting into cup
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Oct 12, 2016 22:08
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- a rootin' tootin' strong boy - a heart of gold - a chip on my shoulder (but it's a dorito L.O.L.) - jokes for friggin days my man |
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Oct 12, 2016 23:06
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- figured out how to put this emoji in my resume 🌞 |
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Oct 12, 2016 23:06
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- marvelous meat monkey (moistly) - stocking enough jovahn musk to last a nuclear winter - gives several "munny" a year to charitable causes - cheaper to hire me than to fight my discrimination lawsuit - folds proteins during downtime - dont need to cut myself to know i'm still alive ---------------- |
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Oct 12, 2016 23:34
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-problem with authority -gently caress you -team player
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Oct 12, 2016 23:59
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MrWillsauce posted:-problem with authority lol |
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Oct 13, 2016 00:02
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MrWillsauce posted:-problem with authority lmbo |
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Oct 13, 2016 00:06
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- second runner up for miss nascar '02 - got er' done |
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Oct 13, 2016 00:12
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- sees ghostface killa at best buy all the time but is always cool about it |
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Oct 13, 2016 00:18
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- firm handshake - excellent chokehold
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Oct 13, 2016 00:57
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- highly unlikely to coat the pages of this resume with contact poison - if employed, willing and eager to provide antidote just in case
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Oct 13, 2016 01:02
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Bring a geode to open up with your interlocutor as a symbol of trust and new beginnings. |
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Oct 13, 2016 02:22
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Fredflonston posted:Bring a geode to open up with your interlocutor as a symbol of trust and new beginnings. i used to bring lil gemstones i polished myself with my rock tumbler but the geode is so much better  thank you for your help
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Oct 13, 2016 04:31
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-im really good at lying -psych! -see what I mean?
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Oct 13, 2016 04:42
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| # ? May 16, 2024 05:13 |
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- excellent at timing a courtesy flush to maximize both courtesy and water usage - personal best for number of licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop: 3 and a half - managing all personal finances through visa gift cards to stay one step ahead of the man
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Oct 13, 2016 07:14
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