NFL Week 6 N/V: Manhoods out for Mariota

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Week 6 N/V: Manhoods out for Mariota

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Professor Funk posted:

I predict that not only will the Jets start 1-5, they will start 1-6.

The Jets schedule is so weirdly top heavy. After that they will probably beat most of the Browns, Dolphins, Rams, Colts, 49ers and Bills and get to 6-10 to 8-8 ish.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 15:09

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 01:27

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

And compare that to the Ravens, who after their bye have the: Steelers x2, Bengals x2, Cowboys, Patriots and Eagles.

I wonder what the odds are the Jets end the season with more wins then the Ravens.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 15:15

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

go go go go ROSCOE! posted:

If you had to guess Ken Bone's age, what would it be?

He's 34

Back in high school I worked at a Walgreens with a flamingly homosexual assistant manager who looked an awful lot like Ken Bone.

After working there for a few months I found out he was in his upper 20's and not the like 45 I had thought he was. Guess when you're eating for two, you're aging for two as well.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 18:05

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

I believe Tannehill is probably suffering a "Sam Bradford" career at this point. If you squint at him when he actually plays he has a lot of things that look good, but has been mostly in shitass garbage poop situations.

Marshmallow Blue posted:

I hope someone pelvic thrusts a football into the audience then gives everyone the finger.

Also, what happened at the Pats game with the guy getting ejected? Wasn't that his first infraction?

It was, but he cold punched a dude on the ground. That'll get you ejected straight up.

Kalli fucked around with this message at 18:19 on Oct 11, 2016

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 18:17

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Blitz7x posted:

Have the Patriots ever had a bottom 10 graded Oline in the Brady era

Last year it was a complete trainwreck, and the Patriots have had a declining offensive line for like the last 4 years running, but compensated for that by Brady just throwing the ball faster and faster to mostly mitigate it unless they're facing the Broncos with a 4th string tackle against Von Miller.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 18:22

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Quick reads is up and of course Tom is #1 and.. wait, what the christ did you do Indianapolis?

http://www.footballoutsiders.com/quick-reads/2016/week-5-quick-reads

quote:

1. Brian Hoyer - Who let this guy in at the top of the list? In 29 career NFL starts, this is the first time Hoyer has finished atop the quarterback tables in Quick Reads, and just his sixth time in the top five. It was, however, his third good game in a row, on the heels of his fifth-place finish last week and his seventh-place ranking in Week 3. Over those three games, Hoyer has completed 71 percent of his passes for 7.9 yards per pass with six touchdowns, three sacks, no interceptions, and an NFL-leading 391 DYAR. This is not the first time Hoyer has gotten hot, though. Just last season, from Week 4 to Week 6, he finished fourth, second, and sixth among quarterbacks in Quick Reads. In that three-game stretch, Hoyer completed 67 percent of his passes for 8.6 yards per pass with seven touchdowns, two sacks, and one interception. The rest of that year, he completed 58 percent of his passes for 6.5 yards apiece with 12 touchdowns, 23 sacks, and two interceptions. He finished the year 20th in DYAR, and then produced one of the worst playoff games we've ever seen. In other words, do not let this hot streak fool you -- this is still Brian Hoyer. Most of Hoyer's success against the Colts came up the middle, where he went 5-of-6 for 73 yards, with every completion gaining at least 10 yards and a first down. His one incompletion to that direction came on third-and-16. That was not his only third-down failure of the day -- on all third and fourth downs, he went 4-of-10 for 43 yards and only two conversions. Fortunately for him and the Bears, he was ridiculous on first downs, going 18-of-20 for 257 yards and 11 first downs.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 18:33

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Dominique Foxworth writes about the Patriots offense this week:

http://theundefeated.com/features/bradys-back-and-hes-in-great-form/

quote:

Though he was not sharp on every play, Brady outwitted the Browns� defense on more plays than he didn�t. On Brady�s first play, he put on a clinic. The result was just a 10-yard pass to Julian Edelman, but Brady�s pre-snap manipulations and checks were impressive. Brady was under center with the running back, LeGarrette Blount, eight yards deep. There were two receivers to the left and on the right, Rob Gronkowski was next to the tackle, with Edelman in a tight split only a couple of yards away from Gronkowski. Brady puts the slot receiver in motion and learns that the Browns are in a zone defense. And because of the tight split of Edelman, the safety has to come down to the line of scrimmage to avoid getting blocked by Edelman and not getting to his run responsibility. Those two tells are enough for Brady to know the Browns are in cover 3. So, Brady audibles to a pass. Blount moves his alignment two yards closer, in order to join the protection. Then Brady snaps the ball knowing that the safety, who is at the line of scrimmage, cannot get to the flat, his pass responsibility, fast enough to defend an out route. Watching that play unfold was like watching the inner workings of an expensive watch, so precise and methodical that it was almost boring in its excellence.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 19:21

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Who drafted those two guys?

They were both 3rd rounders, 2013 (Dallas) and 2014 (Billy).

Billy Turner is like a guard they stuck at LT for no good reason, so it's not exactly surprising he sucked rear end at it, but Dallas Thomas has looked hopeless by everyone's accounts at all times, so it was definitely time for him to go.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 19:24

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

go go go go ROSCOE! posted:

Dang I totally forgot about him. He was a very smart player.

yeah, he's doing a weekly film look at games and it's a good short read for some nerdy stuff. He also was on Barnwell's podcast like 2 weeks ago for a bit and went over a bunch of things you can look for to figure out what kind of play the offense will run.

Brockenstein posted:

What an accomplishment

Hey, I'm just saying if someone just happened to print that quote on a T-shirt I would buy a couple.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 19:29

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

ketchup vs catsup posted:

Foxworth is also a weekly guest on bomani jones 'the right time' podcast, which remains the single best podcast in sports.

I have a 17 hour flight next week so I think I will finally actually start listening to that thing.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 21:05

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Ghost Dog posted:

its cool that hes doing this, every single ex player and coach on the networks could do this,and when they are new you see some of it but eventually its beaten into them to just yell really loudly about who wants it more and everyone gets dumber because of it, its great.

Yeah, Geoff Schwartz is also doing this on a podcast and posting gifs of plays on twitter. He was also on Barnwell's podcast and talked about how mad he gets at Phil Simms for just getting things so wrong when he clearly has to know what the play is.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 21:44

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

They should bench Tannehill imho, he's clearly the problem.

Now you might think the RT is at fault in that top one with the way he jumps back and just kinda swipes at the DE for a moment. But it's really clear he's expecting to fake that then go right and the RG was supposed to take him. But the RG at the snap just jumps into a double team on the DT, leading the RT to basically pass the guy into thin air.

Then because the RB needs to go into his route he also fakes like he's going to block for half a moment before letting Tannehill get annihilated.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 22:10

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

quote:

In a segment set to air Wednesday as part of ESPN�s �E:60� show that features Bennett and his brother Michael, the Patriots� tight end ripped his old team, saying that one of the reasons Chicago struggled in the three years he was with the team was that the Bears had a �bunch of bitches� on the roster.

�That�s why we didn�t win games,� said Bennett. �And coaches liked the bitches.�

He also went after Chicago quarterback Jay Cutler.

�Some guys that you want to be the leader, that�s not the guy that�s a leader,� Bennett said of Cutler. �Everyone in the locker room knows that this is not the leader, but this is what you want the face of the team to look like.�

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 23:03

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Ehud posted:

Just kidding if we get the offensive line in order he'll easily be top ten

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 00:21

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

All players of the week:

AFC:
O - Tom Brady - Tom Brady
D - CB Nickell Robey-Coleman, Bills - 2 ints including a pick 6
ST - Adam Vinatieri - Kicked some FG's.

NFC:
O - RB David Johnson, Cardinals - 150 yards in the slow choking extinguishing of the 49ers
D - Darius Slay - 'ed the Eagles
ST - Returner- Jamison Crowder, Washington - 85 yard punt return TD

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 17:31

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Tom is the handsomest at ignoring non-football questions

https://twitter.com/JoeGiza/status/786232825817157634

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 17:33

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Things getting a bit chippy in Green Bay:

Mike McCarthy posted:

"I don't know why the hell I have to come in here and answer questions about what you think went wrong on offense."

Also from the Bengals gamebook preview for this weekend's game:

Kalli fucked around with this message at 18:00 on Oct 12, 2016

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 17:48

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

go go go go ROSCOE! posted:

https://twitter.com/AaronMatas/status/785921841944596480

Both are pretty good at shooting themselves in the foot.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 19:00

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Yeah, Tannehill isn't some world beater of a quarterback, but if you dropped him on their teams could he be Sam Bradford or Dak Preskott or Andy Dalton? Yeah, probably.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 22:59

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

fsif posted:

How incumbent is it on a quarterback to change protections? Is there a way I can blame Tannehill for the clear path sacks?

Tannehill is experienced enough that he's calling protections, but his linemen are so bad that they're loving up their assignments and getting beaten regardless when not

Cian Fahey wrote up a long article about the Dolphins-Titans game explaining why Adam Gase is defending Tannehill so strongly and thinks the linemen are trash and the receivers suck outside of Landry:

http://presnapreads.com/2016/10/13/adam-gase-ryan-tannehill-and-realistic-expectations/

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 15:55

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Ehud posted:

"WE WANT MOORE"

Make sure you read the sack that starts with "Tannehill adjusted to a 7 man protection, the Titans send 4, and a rusher gets free immediately"

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 16:06

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Ghost Dog posted:

nope

i feel like some goons dont understand how important qbs are and how rare their talents are, despite it being blindingly obvious. having one who is good at anything is actually pretty loving rare. if every qb was good without pressure they would not be valuable. outside of a like 10-15 good qbs everyone else is so bad they actively tank any chance you have at winning. and the good ones never move from their team so despite seeing a large number of qbs in the good category its still basically impossible to get one if you dont have one.

I disagree somewhat. The best quarterbacks can still be excellent even in terrible situations, like Rivers currently, Romo back before he had that incredible offensive line and Dez, Brees at times, and Cam last year are all good examples here. Losing with a great QB is losing with a stacked deck, mere competency should be carrying you to wild card appearances.

But beyond that, teams with good situations with excellent supporting casts and schemes that elevate talent. Dak Preskott should be a very limited rookie quarterback, but he's thriving because teams have to dedicate so much to still get run over by their offensive line. Dak might be some amazing diamond in the rough (he isn't), but you could probably replace him with 25 guys and be getting fairly similar results. The Cowboys have also neglected their defense in building the murderline that they probably won't win anything before they're no longer that, so that's a thing too.

But then you've got a large number of quarterbacks that are good enough to be successful in the right situation, but can't elevate talent or get ruined by bad coaching / team building. Guys like Flacco, Matt Ryan and Andy Dalton are probably the top of the curve here, with other guys like Bradford, Tannehill and plenty of others will look good at times, awful at others, but if you put a solid team around them, you should, more often then not, be pretty happy with what your offense is doing. The drop off from these guys to the Geno Smiths or god, the Ryan Lindleys of the world is enormous, and if you have one of these guys, you just have to hope your GM and coaching staff are competent enough to put pieces in place around them to succeed before other pieces break.

Or you don't, and spin your wheels for a decade while you joke about going 8-8.

Or I'm full of poo poo, there's that too

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 16:32

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

TheChirurgeon posted:

You're definitely full of poo poo, given that 4 different QBs were all total loving garbage behind the same line last year

A broken Matt Cassel, Brandon Weeden and Kellen Moore.

Sorry I didn't list them by name, but that's basically between the Geno Smith and Ryan Lindley tier of quarterback garbage.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 16:55

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

TheChirurgeon posted:

Those guys are all better than Geno Smith or Ryan Lindley and there was a point at which replacing Brady with Cassel got a team 10 wins.

e: I'm not saying that Prescott is the next Brees or anything, but he's definitely above replacement level. Simply having a great offensive line doesn't guarantee good decision-making, pocket presence, or performance. A large number of sacks are the fault of the Quarterback and/or the scheme

e2: Tannehill is bad, and his line sucks. It can be both

I think Dak is above replacement level, but I also think there's 25 guys you could put in that situation and have similar results with that offense even if they make a few dumb throws because they'll also be able to make more complicated reads then what's being asked of 1 month in rookie Dak. You have to go a deeper then 25 QB's before you're hitting Geno Smith but I'd rather sign an injured Charlie Whitehurst then start Geno. Basically, I'm saying that if Stephen was asleep at the switch and Jerry had managed to get away and trade something dumb for Cutler or Mariota or Cousins or Flacco (to pick 4 random guys between the like 10th and 25th best QB's) that they'd probably have similar success to what Dak is doing right now, at least in my humble opinion. Stat wise, Dak is killing it right now, but I bet if he was on the Titans right now, he'd be considered hot garbage.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 17:47

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Metapod posted:

Your utter disgust for the titans organization despite having 0 emotional attachment is just fascinating

I also find myself having extremely negative emotions towards Exotic Smashmouth despite having no emotional attachment to the team. Hell, if anything I want to like them because the Colts can go to hell, they don't deserve it right now.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 20:38

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

a new study bible! posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3783372&pagenumber=3&perpage=40#post462336446

Ignore the post that I made late on about how the Vikings will regress

Kirios was the most correct poster: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3783372&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=9#post464134235

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 22:49

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

In the NFL is cartoonishly awful department:

http://www.dailybusinessreview.com/...=20160913175242

Former offensive lineman Darryl Ashmore just entered a lawsuit against the NFL for denying his disability benefits. He's an 11 year vet from 1992-2002, played for the Rams, Washington and Raiders, and now has dementia among a laundry list of other medical issues.

The NFL scheduled a medical exam away from someone with his condition can travel, wouldn't allow him to move or reschedule it, then denied his application for missing it.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 22:58

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

kiimo posted:

I was wondering how long it would take but I just got over Ken Bone. Go away.

Not even a tenth the lasting power of Joe the Plumber.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2016 02:08

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Does Suh kick dick in practice? If so maybe we can explain the Dolphins oline woes finally.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2016 15:31

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

So I'm listening to Barnwell talk about what the Dolphins do with Tannehill next year and brought up Cutler or possibly trading for Romo as replacements. No point this just made me laugh

# ¿ Oct 15, 2016 19:50

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Ehud posted:

dolphins fans on twitter are constantly asking if cutler is a possibility, as in, "can we please bring cutler in to fix our QB issues?"

lol

Imagine the quit Cutler would show behind that oline

# ¿ Oct 15, 2016 20:39

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

What the hell America? Good thing I'm going to investigate tomorrow.

https://twitter.com/BrianPickett/status/787502312365457408

# ¿ Oct 16, 2016 22:33

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Since we're griping about stuff. Shout out to whomever at the passport office fat fingered in my first name so 10 hours before my flight I get to haul my rear end into Boston to get it fixed

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 20:13

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Not mad though because holy poo poo does the patriots offense kick rear end right now.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 20:19

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Flikken posted:

Or how the ball carrier puts the ball on the ground a full yard past where it was.

It's really funny when defensive players move it back though. Like that gif of the jets dude and some running back swapping it back and forth

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 20:20

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Diva Cupcake posted:

Oh yeah congrats on not having to face one of the only 2 good QBs the Pats have to face on their entire schedule. As per usual.

Can't say I'm too sad about that. I'm gonna be on hotel wifi in Hong Kong though so I'm pretty iffy to actually get to see the game. Unless I can find a sports bar that's open all night

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 20:25

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

FizFashizzle posted:

Dun dun

Dun dun

Dwweeeeeeeeen

Boring update. They were super helpful, it was ready in an you and I slapped the happy button and high fived the guard on the way out

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 23:10

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 01:27

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

The game just ended and now the fire alarm is going nuts in this airport. Hope I'm not about to did y'all. Please don't let that game be the last I ever see

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 04:56

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