SENTIENT HOUSEMEAT posted:

Ever since the arrival of "Eric" our fan-fiction society had begun the inexorable slide towards inevitable destruction. After the events of last night I became so powerfully angry that I ended up sleeping on my neighbour's driveway. I woke up underneath his car, yet another data point in my developing theory that my neighbour, who works the night shifts, is parking his car on top of me when I sleep there. I sleep outside during these potent rages because I am concerned that my treasured posessions would not survive the full force of my fury, not even my collection of editions of the seminal Objectivist text "The Fountainhead", which are ordered by publication date and at this point certainly worth a vast sum of money should I ever choose to sell them which I never would because of how important they are to me.

The latest consignment of ignorant bile that emanated from what "Eric" is pleased to call his mind was over my Captain America/House crossover fic which I continue to maintain recontextualises both works to such an insightful extent that it could heal the divisions in our great nation if only the ignorant peons that comprise the majority of the populace would open their minds long enough to see it. The preening ignoramus made a number of unwelcome and incorrect observations regarding a key character in my work, who helps Dr. Gregory House lead Steve Rogers to the inevitable conclusion that Anarcho-Capitalism is the only correct way for a nation to function. "Eric" insisted that this character represented a "blatant self-insert", purely because they simply happen to have the same hair and eye colour as me as well as sharing my beliefs and stylish dress sense.

I suppose that I should not allow myself to be surprised by the capriciousness of inferior minds, but it continues to baffle me that my fellows afford this "Eric" with any measure whatsoever of attention and respect. This is a man who will freely admit without any trace of shame to enjoying the show "The Big Bang Theory" which is deeply offensive in the way that it stereotypes nerds and nerd culture, which if you look at it objectively is absolutely the most oppressed group in the world. That show is basically blackface but for nerds and if these SJWs really cared about so-called "cultural appropriation" they would be up in arms about this shameful nonsense but they are not, which tells you all you need to know, really. He also once made a joke the punchline of which was a reference to the "Large HARD-ON Collider" which I did not appreciate because the project at CERN has become very personally meaningful to me ever since I read an article about the Higgs Boson on Forbes dot com, a site I no longer frequent due to their policy on ad blockers.

Sometimes at night when the panic attacks threaten to overwhelm it helps to rest my naked body against the cool enamel of my empty bath.