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Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
CRIME AND PUNISHMENT a student kills Rick Harrison and his simple servant Chumlee and buries a 52" flat screen tv in a quarry.

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Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
FRANKENSTEIN: A stem cell research assistant creates a crude lewd dude that somehow ends up on the republican ticket

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
Anna Karenina: Real housewives of St. Petersburg

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Sentimental Education:
a young man gets caught up in Occupy Wall St, before abandoning that after it fails to go into finance and lusts after the woman who friend zoned him

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
I'd do Hemingway, but he's already modern

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
The Time Machine:

A man travels to the distant future to discover that Trump and Hillary supporters have diverged and evolved in very different and terrifying ways.

At the end he travels even further, to a world ruled by enormous orange lobsters with very tiny claws.

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
To Kill a Mockingbird: A black man is shot by the police, Atticus takes the case for the family. Scout befriends a local R word.

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
Ulysses
A cuckold wanders around Dublin and overthinks things

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
Sherlock Holmes:

A man solves crimes using his downright uncanny ability to know exactly what to look up on Wikipedia.

The Hound of the Baskervilles:

Same basic story as the old one, except instead of Watson and those other people, the Scooby-Doo gang aid the detective in solving the ghost-dog mystery.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
"Room with a window that is entirely blocked by bricks except for the 1-inch square to look out of and you still pay way too much rent. Better start thinking about sucking dicks to make rent."

Manticorny
Sep 7, 2016

It's a sad and beautiful world.
To the Lighthouse -- a bunch of people sit around a beach house tweeting

Manticorny
Sep 7, 2016

It's a sad and beautiful world.
Two Gentlemen of Verona: same story just with ca-razy references to the big lebowski thrown in

ninjoatse.cx
Apr 9, 2005

Fun Shoe
Lolita: A pedo goes to jail for forever and people say bad things about him on the internet.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
It:

A bunch of scaredy cat kids have to come to grips with the scary clown sightings but ultimately they band together for a homosex orgy.

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
Good Morning, Midnight
An aging woman returns to the bars of her youth to discover them themed and catering to her generation, full of tactful nostalgia and happy grayhairs

Manticorny
Sep 7, 2016

It's a sad and beautiful world.
Finnegans Wake: your stoner roommate won't shut the gently caress up

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
The Golden Bough: This non-fiction classic has been updated with an in-depth analysis of modern myths such as Harry Potter, Disney's Frozen, and the popular videogame series Dark Souls.

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
Dox Quixote: the story of Caro

Plebian Parasite
Oct 12, 2012

The Portrait of Dorian Gray: In a long forgotten corner of the internet, a man's Myspace profile ages in his stead.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
The Art of War: Presented by Blizzard Entertainment.

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is

Manticorny posted:

Finnegans Wake: your stoner roommate won't shut the gently caress up

Lol

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Count of Monte Cristo
A man exacts a decades long plan to put something over on three old acquaintances, assures them it was just a prank

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
alot of these are really funny thanks for participating friends :] dont want to quote the whole page AYE yai yai!

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
Romeo and Juliet Frat bro is cat fished by a young teen but just goes along with it anyways

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
A Confederacy of Dunces:

Ignacius J. Reilly owns a computer and is a prominent member of several online communities. His forum posts are now inter-spaced throughout the book. His avatar image is an "ironic" anthropomorphic golden retriever, cropped from hardcore furry porn.

Everything else is the same.

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
Lord of the Flies: A bunch of pasty middleschool boys try to live out minecraft.

Plebian Parasite
Oct 12, 2012

Utopia: A idyllic philosophical look into a fictitious island nation that collectively redpilled

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
2001: A Space Odyssey
A monolith is identified on the moon from Satellite photography. Nasa attempts to investigate, but is denied funding. Twenty years later, they manage to get a little drone up to test the soil around it

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Pillbug

Smash it Smash hit posted:

Dox Quixote: the story of Caro

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!
Oct 27, 2007

:slick: :slick: :slick: :slick:

Doctor J Off posted:

I'd do Hemingway, but he's already modern
The Sun Also Rises
A post in r/relationships about a guy's trip to Spain where he did a bunch of macho poo poo but still couldn't get laid and he gets beat up by one of the boyfriends of the girl he can't get over.

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
The Great Gatsby: was going to make a cuck joke but this book is literally just a bunch of people cucking around.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Slaughterhouse Five:

Aliens land on earth and hack facebook to never display posts in a sensible chronological order.


Star Wars:
All the characters are still far away and very dead.

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

The Sun Also Rises
A post in r/relationships about a guy's trip to Spain where he did a bunch of macho poo poo but still couldn't get laid and he gets beat up by one of the boyfriends of the girl he can't get over.

also his dick dont work.

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
For Whom the Bell Tolls: an idiot american goes to afganistan to help the resistance and.. god damnit another caro story

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

The Sun Also Rises
A post in r/relationships about a guy's trip to Spain where he did a bunch of macho poo poo but still couldn't get laid and he gets beat up by one of the boyfriends of the girl he can't get over.

Spot on.

For Whom the Bell Tolls
Communist idealists fight for freedom and justice for all people of the world, get roped into buying a con artist $1000 pants

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Old Man and the Sea
Grandpa has to get a job at Long John Silvers for the health insurance :(

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
Metamorphasis: The tale of a professional gamer.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
Wuthering Heights: A man rises from humble beginnings and a rough and abusive childhood to become a world-famous pick up artist and blogger who writes a lot about women, how to get women, and how to be an Alpha Man.

Blurry Gray Thing fucked around with this message at 14:47 on Oct 20, 2016

Smash it Smash hit
Dec 30, 2009

prettay, prettay
The Idiot: Woody Boyd moves to the big city and gets a job as a bartender. Befriending a rich harlot(Kelly) that Sam Malone has his eyes on a tumultuous relationship is formed.

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Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
In Search Of Lost Time

A man sits down to write the world's longest r/relationships post

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