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PokeJoe posted:The Giver The Receiver by Kirk Johnson The first in the series, though Widely panned as having serious plot holes in comparison to the second volume.
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Oct 31, 2016 15:28
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Crazyeyes posted:The Count of Monte Cristo: The Story of El Chapo lmfao Teriyaki Koinku posted:
 La Brea Carpet posted:Stranger in a Strange Land An autistic man develops an app to discuss the nature of God with other like minded individuals. It becomes a hook up app named Grok. 
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Nov 1, 2016 11:43
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The Martian A man stranded in a stuck elevator comes up with various tropes and tries to be Meta as gently caress Anna Karinina An asexual S J W gets railed in an unexpected way. Mein Kampf The Eliott Rodger Story
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Nov 4, 2016 10:37
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The Stranger A confused man discovers the downside of the European refugee policy.
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Nov 4, 2016 11:14
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Dune Timothy Leary discovers hash but is nearly foiled by the CHOOM gang
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Nov 4, 2016 11:15
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Gravity's Rainbow My nigga have u tried LSD??
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Nov 4, 2016 11:17
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Stranger in a Strange Land A Gypsy with a large penis is arrested, joins circus
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Nov 4, 2016 11:18
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Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas A drug fueled erotic bathing session in a cheap hotel nearly goes terribly wrong
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Nov 4, 2016 11:19
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Love in the Time of Cholera: swap.avi The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: Two teens go on a rafting trip to creampie teens and discover an unexpected size discrepancy when their negro manservant gets in on the action, followed by an gangbang of all members of an 1800s episode of Family Fued. The Four Agreements: A mentally ill Mexican man publishes a book of bullshit, but his antipsychotics make him too tired to start the cult. Also refers to himself as a Don. Lolita: Eyeball licking followed by loud excuses that it is in fact entirely normal to be an ephebophile. The Silence of the Lambs: A prisoner with a foot fetish sends a young FBI agent to Aatrek's house
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Nov 4, 2016 11:44
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Snow Crash A man on PCP with a piece of rebar goes on an imaginary aircraft carrier to kill a Samoan, misidentifies what BIOS stands for, all while a greasy wop named Enzo wrings his hands and grins. Cryptonomicon A long tome whose climax is syphilis, opiate addiction, and giving the middle finger to Douglas MacArthur. Also contains erotic furniture shopping and detailed descriptions of the puckered anus of a 6-year-old Filipino boy. I, Robot A 400-lb autistic goon finally has an entity that he can identify with. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao Fat goon with massive pimple infection and disinclination to bathe discovered a typewriter in Mexico or whatever and begins shitposting IRL. The Diary of Ann Frank: The worlds' best game of hide-and-seek followed by a free train ride. du -hast fucked around with this message at 15:49 on Nov 4, 2016 |
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Nov 4, 2016 13:59
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The Stand: An outstanding metaphor for the Jewish conspiracy Leaves of Grass: A man with a disinclination to work sits with his toes in a pond and writes garbage The Grapes of Wrath: A STEM graduate becomes a manual laborer and moves to present day Arkansas Of Mice and Men: A man with a Vaseline covered hand tracking down a retard and a midget who supports the 2nd Amendment.
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Nov 4, 2016 14:02
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Cry, the Beloved Country: A black man kills a white man in South Africa while the family is participating in erotic phone calls on the party phone line. The father of the killer succeeds in being cuckolded by the killer's own father, who goes on top of a mountain and founds Black Lives Matter Lord of the Flies An interactive look at the economy of the Republic of Somalia
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Nov 4, 2016 14:57
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Blood Meridian: An erotic tale of a young man, his horse, and various acts of extreme violence. Features a retard on a leash and a man that can make gunpowder out of his own piss, as well as several acts of animal sodomy. A recommended read. Child of God An extremely mentally disabled man who refuses to give up his property begins loving the corpse of a woman who dies on it, combined with the Metus video. A melange of bodily fluids. Capital in the 21st Century: A snotty Frenchman writes a million page book mostly generated with a Markov bot and recommends higher taxes for everyone to be placed in a world fund, though he is careful to specifically exempt the Jews from this scheme.
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Nov 4, 2016 15:31
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Ender's Game Extreme violence committed by an unstable child, including a sweaty erotic soapy shower child murder scene, followed by a retarded amount of laser tag that somehow leads to genocide. As penance the author converts to Mormonism. Foucault's Pendulum: A long rant about the Knights Templar set off by the protagonist's frustration with MS-DOS and StarOffice 2.0.
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Nov 4, 2016 15:35
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The Road A father-and-son picnic day in the Ghenzuo Coal Mine region of China. As they lack houkou they are forced to eat dirt. There is a lack of sodomy in this book that is disappointing, but it does involve nuclear bunkers and lung cancer.
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Nov 4, 2016 15:39
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The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire: A comfortable allegory for modern day Europe as immigrants slow storm the EU demanding entertainment and welfare faster than the union can expand, until its eventual collapse. Also the flag is replaced with the star and crescent. War and Peace: On a long bender, the author challenges his imaginary friend to a contest of how many words could be used in the book and the most boring way. While the title has War in it the title there is, in fact, no combat, and the book you might say is a peace of poo poo 
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Nov 4, 2016 15:47
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Paladinus posted:gently caress you, there's plenty of combat on War and Peace. Even in the very first book. Plus, Tolstoi used to serve in artillery, and it really shows. :-[
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Nov 4, 2016 16:33
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Bridge of Birds An alcoholic man and his retarded escort learn to swim. American Psycho Limp wristed sadism towards the homeless, Trump 2016 Mort d'Artur Strange women lying in ponds and distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Also no one has read the entire book. The Turner Diaries A racist screed written by Ben Garrison. Involves a mortar.
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Nov 5, 2016 13:24
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Trainspotting A Scottish man extracts items from a toilet and returns them to his anus. Also has a potato as a significant character. Requiem for a Dream Incomprehensible heroin addled writing style, in which a hot chick, a white guy, and a negro have a heroin fueled gangbang until the aforementioned chick does a double dildo action. Also includes a highly Jewish mother and constant relocation of a television.
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Nov 5, 2016 13:28
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Uncle Tom's Cabin Inspired racism for the next 150 years. He was "one of the good ones". Leviathan Wakes Garbage. Just garbage.
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Nov 5, 2016 13:28
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The Hunger Games Extremely attractive main character gets creampied for two burnt loafs of bread and spends a lot of time looking for cheat codes
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Nov 5, 2016 13:30
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Known and Unknown: A Memoir: An old man justifies genocide while also providing helpful life tips known as Rumfeld's Rules, a collection of dad jokes packed into a delightfully jingoistic near-novel. Pale Fire: A Russian Aatrek starts a race with himself as to whether he could write this disturbing poem before the vodka annihilated his brain. Also very difficult to read on Kindle. The Kite Runner A young man spends time at Aatreks house getting religious instruction, before flying a kite with TNT on it into the twin towers. The Things We Carried: Despite its name, this novel does not involve cargo relocation, etc, so do not believe the title. A white man spends a lot of time ranting about stars and grenades to a man named Kehoe Waiting For Godot: The line at the Los Angeles DMV The Joy Luck Club A disjointed history of the Chinese people and their superiority to gwilo
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Nov 5, 2016 13:37
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The Bible Jesus Christ!
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Nov 5, 2016 13:42
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A Streetcar Named Desire: A man rapes an insane woman who is then transferred back to the hospital. No charges are filed.
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Nov 5, 2016 13:45
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Fahrenheit 451 A man learns to read, causing his wife to commit suicide. The protagonist loves fire so much that he is blinded by the nuclear weapons at the end of the book and ends up dying of radiation poisoning shortly after. The Invisible Man: A negro shaman writes a cryptic book about how he has learned the Level2 "Spell of Invisibility". Also contains various incoherent rants. Cujo: 
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Nov 5, 2016 13:49
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Journey to the Center of the Earth Icelandic thieves hide Deutchbank bonds in a cave.
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Nov 5, 2016 13:51
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The Adventures of Tom Sawyer: The semitie gets engaged to an older woman. They go to check out plots at the graveyard but end up finding a two men digging up corpses to commit horrific sexual acts. Bewildered they storm into a haunted house. Also somehow he convinces idiots to paint a fence. A Confederate of Dunces: The earliest book to include masturbating into a condom. A goon finds himself eating hot dogs out of a cart with severe social anxiety and heartburn. Also includes a black man who cleans floors while chain smoking, and a guy named Robichaux who gets drunk with a bunch of old ladies and rants about communists. In the end, the Marxist Leninist Party takes over New Orleans and seizes the means of production.
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Nov 5, 2016 15:15
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The Old Man and the Sea: A telling allegory for the financial crash of 2008-2009. An old man hooks a fish and its a nice big one, but eventually smaller fish and bottom feeders come to steal his wealth. Also a great book for morons as no sentence is more than 4 letters long. In the end the man realizes that he could have grabbed the fish and put it in the boat, and kills himself out of shame. For Whom the Bell Tolls: A bunch of Mexicans are fighting over who should be boss while presenting the civil war in a depressing but interesting way. It tolls for thee
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Nov 5, 2016 15:19
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In Search Of Lost Time: An autistic Frenchman discovers methamphetamine and becomes slowly more incoherent after several thousands of pages in multiple books, which include such themes as peons being miserable, being filthy at all times, and living in complete misery and dark. I don't know that I would recommend it for goons as it might hit too close to home, especially the "ephebophilia" in the last books.
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Nov 5, 2016 15:22
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Peter Pan: A boy who can fly and never grows up collects mad cash from the registered sex offenders in the neighborhood.
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Nov 5, 2016 15:23
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On The Road: A book that everyone claims to read but never has. Alternate title: loving MILLENIALS
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Nov 5, 2016 15:25
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Angela's Ashes: An alcoholic man has everyone die around him. Eventually Angela is sent to Auschwitz (free train ride) and is gassed and cremated. The alcoholic man sighs and turns back to his beer and YOSPOS.
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Nov 5, 2016 15:26
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THE PWNER posted:Heart of Darkness: hyper competent bow-using 12 year olds band together to venture into the heart of an old god and vanquish it once and for all 
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Nov 5, 2016 15:27
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Heart of Darkness A white man going into a KFC in Compton at 11PM.
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Nov 5, 2016 15:27
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Death of a Salesman: A Wal-Mart employee dies of an easily curable disease since he has no health insurance and no savings. He is replaced and forgotten the next day. A guy named Biff also attends a funeral, but is kicked out for his stupid loving name.
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Nov 5, 2016 15:32
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The Crucible: Ted Cruz' first 100 days in office.
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Nov 5, 2016 15:35
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The Secret Garden A memoir of Joseph Fritzl told in his own words.
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Nov 5, 2016 15:51
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The Voyage of the Beagle: A self proclaimed genius declares black people, in fact, of a different species, and collects hundreds of them to return to the plantations in Virginia for an easy buck.
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Nov 5, 2016 15:58
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A Boy and His Dog A young man accidentally walks into the bad part of Detroit. The dog does not help.
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Nov 5, 2016 16:28
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Lord of the Rings: Nine hundred pages of descriptions of the plants and what Frodo & the gang had for breakfast. Approximately 10 pages of cool stuff and battles. Major plot hole and BOREamir is a good name for it  .
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Nov 5, 2016 16:31
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