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Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Sentimental Education:
a young man gets caught up in Occupy Wall St, before abandoning that after it fails to go into finance and lusts after the woman who friend zoned him

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Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
I'd do Hemingway, but he's already modern

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
Ulysses
A cuckold wanders around Dublin and overthinks things

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
Good Morning, Midnight
An aging woman returns to the bars of her youth to discover them themed and catering to her generation, full of tactful nostalgia and happy grayhairs

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is

Manticorny posted:

Finnegans Wake: your stoner roommate won't shut the gently caress up

Lol

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Count of Monte Cristo
A man exacts a decades long plan to put something over on three old acquaintances, assures them it was just a prank

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
2001: A Space Odyssey
A monolith is identified on the moon from Satellite photography. Nasa attempts to investigate, but is denied funding. Twenty years later, they manage to get a little drone up to test the soil around it

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

The Sun Also Rises
A post in r/relationships about a guy's trip to Spain where he did a bunch of macho poo poo but still couldn't get laid and he gets beat up by one of the boyfriends of the girl he can't get over.

Spot on.

For Whom the Bell Tolls
Communist idealists fight for freedom and justice for all people of the world, get roped into buying a con artist $1000 pants

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Old Man and the Sea
Grandpa has to get a job at Long John Silvers for the health insurance :(

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
In Search Of Lost Time

A man sits down to write the world's longest r/relationships post

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
Letter From Birmingham Jail

Your spinster aunt on facebook will be silent no more about government overreach

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
Decision Points, by George W. Bush

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Apology of Socrates

A defiant troll posts a ban me thread

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Sea of Fertility
A civil servant lives a secret inner life quite apart from his normal everyday life in which he wishes to observe others relishing the pleasures of the world he denies himself, all based on the singular romantic vision of his dead childhood friend and his girlfriend, who lives in Canada so he's never seen her, but they totally did it

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Wild Duck
When an old friend comes out of obscurity, a man discovers that his wife wasn't just watching TV during the long hours he spent alone in his den working on the next great game changing app. Includes a heavy handed message about gun control

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

McMurphy is sentenced only to a few months in prison because the judge didn't want something like a rape charge to ruin his family life. The rest of the inmates are all homeless or dead after the mental hospital was shut down in the 80s. Nurse Ratched works in a regular hospital, spending her free time posting "tough nurse" memes on facebook.

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Memoirs of Hector Berlioz

Smash Mouth: Recipes from the Road: A Rock N' Roll Cookbook

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Left Hand of Darkness
An envoy is sent to a newly discovered planet to judge fitness for joining in the interplanetary union, is exiled as a bigot for repeatedly misgendering the residents.

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is

turbomoose posted:

Little House on the Prarie

by Grover

Groverhouse of Leaves

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
Steppenwolf
A lifelong incel works on his great exhortation against the modern world, posting great volumes on Internet forums about how sensitive, nice guys are doomed to isolation. Through a chance meeting, he meets a blue haired woman playing Pokémon go, and through her he is introduced to the enriching world of anime fandom.

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is

Oyak posted:

That is already the plot of Ulysses (part of it, anyway).

They say the best literature is timeless

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
Madame Bovary

Prep the Bull

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
Post Office
Harry Chinaski thanks providence as he lucks into a job with regular hours, good enough pay to live, and union protection. He uses the stability to get his life back on track, getting his own apartment, a girlfriend, and allowing him to pay back the money he had borrowed from family.

Love in the Time of Cholera
Romance blooms between two residents at the Salinas Wellness Center, a live in clinic opened to serve the health needs of the ill and frail raised in families who do not believe in vaccination.

Johnny Got His Gun
Johnny, his face, voice, and limbs all burned away in a chemical attack in war, is paraded around by politicians who pose with his destroyed body to dump up support for the next war before he is killed by malpractice in a VA hospital.

An American Tragedy
An account of CNN's coverage of the 2016 American presidential election.

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is

Smash it Smash hit posted:

The Island of Doctor Moreau:
Goon meet

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is

guidoanselmi posted:

Falkner's The Sound and the Fury:

Four vignettes about the descendants of George Bush Sr, with:

George W. Bush as Benjy the invalid
Jeb! Bush as Quentin, the tortured intellectual
Neil Bush as Jason, the rear end in a top hat

Lol.

The Unvanquished

A group of ISIS militants tries to hold off the armies seeking to take over the territories they hold. ISIS is in trouble when one young man reconsiders a life of violence and war, and goes unarmed to meet the Americans. He is immediately shot to death a hundred feet away from the gates of their compound as soon as he is seen.

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

An account of the 2016 United States presidential election.

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Last Tycoon

A visionary computer programmer/salesman founds a computer company, which succeeds through years of conflict and intrigue, and chases a desperate lost love. The story is told when he is dying in hospice from trying to cure cancer with fruit juice.


e: also lol

Kennel posted:

And Then There Were None
Blocking Facebook friends with lovely opinions.

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
Miss Lonelyhearts

r/relationships 3.0

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is

du -hast posted:

Love in the Time of Cholera: swap.avi

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: Two teens go on a rafting trip to creampie teens and discover an unexpected size discrepancy when their negro manservant gets in on the action, followed by an gangbang of all members of an 1800s episode of Family Fued.

The Four Agreements: A mentally ill Mexican man publishes a book of bullshit, but his antipsychotics make him too tired to start the cult. Also refers to himself as a Don.

Lolita: Eyeball licking followed by loud excuses that it is in fact entirely normal to be an ephebophile.

The Silence of the Lambs: A prisoner with a foot fetish sends a young FBI agent to Aatrek's house

Lol nice.

The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius

Decision Points, by President George W Bush

The Art of War

Dungeons & Dragons Player's Strategy Guide: A 4th Edition D&D Supplement

House of Leaves
Apartment of Shrubs: An alcoholic lowlife finds and annotates a narrative about a defunct YouTube channel in which an apartment dweller wrestles with space concerns for his hybrid homebrew/pot grow operation in which he is saved by a previously overlooked closet. Or is he in danger? He explores it for a bit but gets the munchies and goes back to watch TV.

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Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
The Bonfire of the Vanities

A wealthy stock trader kills a black youth in a hit and run. He then becomes the focus of a media firestorm in which alternate sides declare him either a racist murderer or a heroic job creator defending himself from a probable criminal. It is promptly forgotten next week when the media moves on to issues of outage on college campuses, and the trader hires some high priced lawyers, and suffers so consequences.

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