PYF Comic: The only time I'm pathetic... Is when I'm making sweet love to my wife!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Comic: The only time I'm pathetic... Is when I'm making sweet love to my wife!

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SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

# ¿ Mar 12, 2021 15:28

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 22:12

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

I think the first one was posted earlier, but not any of the delightful follow-ups!

# ¿ Mar 13, 2021 10:22

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

KennyMan666 posted:

There actually are even more of them, including the conclusion where we get to meet Tony Lazuto himself.

Aw, I was going to post them gradually...

# ¿ Mar 13, 2021 11:15

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

RareAcumen posted:

I had no idea there were more than the first one, this rules

Yeah, they really make you laugh!

# ¿ Mar 13, 2021 11:21

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

# ¿ Mar 13, 2021 22:42

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Woebin posted:

Not to police your posting, but this seems kinda rude.

Eh, it's not like I have exclusive rights to these comics. I just thought it would be funnier to spread them out, so you don''t see it coming.

Anyway, the Tony Lazuto artist makes other cool comics as well:

Haha, that imgur collection is nowhere near complete. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

SimonChris has a new favorite as of 08:36 on Mar 15, 2021

# ¿ Mar 14, 2021 14:37

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

These edits are almost better than the real Lazuto comics.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2021 08:33

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

SimonChris posted:

Haha, that imgur collection is nowhere near complete. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Haha, good one! I don't know if the mods misunderstood, or if they just thought it was funnier this way. Either way, I am happy to have this as the sole entry on my rap sheet

This one was posted AFTER the conclusion, so there is hope for fresh Tony Lazutos in the future!

# ¿ Mar 15, 2021 17:39

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Edit: Maybe in too bad taste....

Someone call GBS. This could be an amazing photoshop thread.

SimonChris has a new favorite as of 20:08 on Mar 15, 2021

# ¿ Mar 15, 2021 19:15

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Ok, I've removed it for now (even though I don't see how it's fundamentally different than burexas.irom's pic).

Have some more comics, to keep the thread on topic:

# ¿ Mar 15, 2021 20:17

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

https://forums.somethingawful.com/banlist.php?userid=135136

I wouldn't want to ruin my perfect rap sheet, so I'll play it safe

# ¿ Mar 15, 2021 20:36

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Well, that's all folks! I can't find any more Tony Lazuto comics that haven't either been posted or linked on imgur. I actually like this ending better than the official one. It's more poignant.

The remaining comics are also available at the artist's web page at: https://www.eldercactus.com/organized-crime-is-evolving/

You can purchase all your Tony Lazuto merchandise from https://www.redbubble.com/people/eldercactus/shop?artistUserName=eldercactus&collections=1300791&iaCode=all-departments&sortOrder=relevant

SimonChris has a new favorite as of 09:47 on Mar 16, 2021

# ¿ Mar 16, 2021 08:48

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

I don't know how I missed this.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2021 20:57

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Zen Pencils seem to have fixed their archives, so I went and found this old favorite:

Winners throw away their life and marriage to play GoT LARP by themselves in the woods.

So inspirational...

# ¿ Mar 18, 2021 20:51

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Another classic:

"If you are bullied,
Beat the bullies to death,
With a hammer."
- William Ernest Hensley

His absolute lack of understanding of the poems he quotes is downright surreal.

This one actually has several sequels, but I am not going to post those because they are just gross.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2021 08:26

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Splicer posted:

Fun fact: Stockholm Syndrome was invented to explain why the hostages were "irrationally" concerned that the police might run in and execute their apparently quite peasant and empathetic captors and possibly also accidentally the hostages. Also they got mad at the police afterwards! _{for teargassing them}

Irrational hostage posted:

Yes, I was afraid of the police; what is so strange about that? Is it strange that one is afraid of those who are all around, in parks, on roofs, behind corners, in armoured vests, helmets and weapons, ready to shoot?

From: "See What You Made Me Do: The Dangers of Domestic Abuse That We Ignore, Explain Away, or Refuse to See"

Basically, the reason people like hostage takers better than cops is that hostage takers are better people than cops.

SimonChris has a new favorite as of 13:59 on Mar 22, 2021

# ¿ Mar 22, 2021 13:56

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

I don't know if I am the only one old enough to remember Yamara:

# ¿ Apr 19, 2021 17:24

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

SimonChris has a new favorite as of 19:55 on Apr 19, 2021

# ¿ Apr 19, 2021 19:52

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

# ¿ May 24, 2021 19:33

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

# ¿ Jun 10, 2021 20:10

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

# ¿ Jul 7, 2021 16:03

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

CyberLord XP posted:

Do you like well drawn fantasy post apocalyptic Scandinavian webcomics with magic and trolls and cats? You do! Well that is pretty specific genre but here you go:

The style of the first page kinda reminds me of the classic Lord of the Rings illustrations by Queen Margrethe II of Denmark:

Say what you will about our beloved queen, but she draws a mean Nazg�l. It's a pity she didn't get into webcomics.

SimonChris has a new favorite as of 19:14 on Jul 19, 2021

# ¿ Jul 19, 2021 19:12

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Post Your Favorite (or Request): I'm existing just for listing!!! � The video I saw, years ago, of an orangutan being recused from a brothel still haunts me.

Edit: Is that too long? Maybe just "An orangutan being recused from a brothel still haunts me."

SimonChris has a new favorite as of 20:20 on Jul 19, 2021

# ¿ Jul 19, 2021 20:05

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

By popular demand posted:

Those Queen Margrethe illustrations are amazing, I hope to see the day when an adaptation based on these would be made.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOVCIvpRaTE

She did d�coupage sets for an adaption of H.C. Andersen's "The Wild Swans" some time ago. I would love to see a higher-budget international production with this kind of art style.

http://www.meridian.org/wildswans/aboutartist.html

SimonChris has a new favorite as of 20:54 on Jul 19, 2021

# ¿ Jul 19, 2021 20:51

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Apparently, this is with Watterson's approval. There is a long ongoing storyline, not just a few joke strips.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2021 17:50

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

# ¿ Jul 21, 2021 20:32

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

It is a bit hard to read, but Bloom County has always been a left-leaning comic, so I definitely don't think he is trying to imply that being progressive is bad.

# ¿ Jul 22, 2021 12:02

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

SimonChris posted:

SimonChris has a new favorite as of 13:37 on Jul 23, 2021

# ¿ Jul 22, 2021 20:45

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

SimonChris posted:

SimonChris has a new favorite as of 09:31 on Jul 23, 2021

# ¿ Jul 23, 2021 07:13

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

SimonChris posted:

# ¿ Jul 28, 2021 15:17

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

SimonChris posted:

https://twitter.com/bloomcounty/status/1421285390544220164

# ¿ Jul 31, 2021 07:42

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

# ¿ Aug 3, 2021 20:13

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

# ¿ Aug 10, 2021 06:44

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Lol, if you don't have your doge Enrico sack Byzantium for you!

# ¿ Aug 25, 2021 10:09

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

By popular demand posted:

Those Queen Margrethe illustrations are amazing, I hope to see the day when an adaptation based on these would be made.

https://twitter.com/Variety/status/1432607189215162372

It's not LOTR, but it is a fantasy movie (decoupage counts as comics, right?).

SimonChris has a new favorite as of 13:41 on Aug 31, 2021

# ¿ Aug 31, 2021 13:38

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

# ¿ Sep 17, 2021 09:48

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

SimonChris posted:

# ¿ Sep 18, 2021 08:39

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

SimonChris posted:

# ¿ Sep 23, 2021 16:12

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

SimonChris posted:

# ¿ Sep 25, 2021 11:35

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 22:12

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Dicebox - Book One: Wander
Chapte 1: Pre-ramble

SimonChris has a new favorite as of 07:22 on Oct 1, 2021

# ¿ Sep 30, 2021 09:29

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Comic: The only time I'm pathetic... Is when I'm making sweet love to my wife!

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