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Luvcow

One day nearer spring

Manifisto posted:

"In America, comedian sits on chair," begins Yakov Smirnoff, world-famous sit down comedian, from his bar stool on stage. The crowd tenses with anticipation. They have an inkling of what might be coming next, but they cannot quite bring themselves to hope for something so brilliant, so audacious.

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Ahundredbux

The right to bear arms
Comedy was trying to be clever in class, but the teacher was having none of that.

social vegan



carrot top stares into his tickle trunk at a tiny stool with the cue card taped to it reading "stool sample" he pauses, is it even worth it anymore

Djeser


it's crow time again

"so i sit down on the subway," the comic begins. "and this guy, comes, he comes and he sits down beside me." he makes a wide-eyed gesture. we all know this situation. "so now we're on this subway, sitting. him and me, we're sitting next to each other." it's something that's always gone unspoken but he's finally putting words to it. "and then, get this--we get to a stop, and he gets up. but i'm still sitting there like," he motions exasperatedly at an imaginary chair next to his. the camera cuts to shots of the audience standing and eating dinner from their hands. they laugh and stamp their feet, because it's rude to applaud when your hands are full.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Fredflonston


social vegan posted:

carrot top stares into his tickle trunk at a tiny stool with the cue card taped to it reading "stool sample" he pauses, is it even worth it anymore

Machai

If your stool smells of fresh cut pine, you might be a carpenter

Machai

Sit er' down!

Machai

You will notice my sig contains BYOB treasure and comedian Sid, whom is sitting down.

Machai

*Chris Hanson walks onto stage. Audience erupts into laughter*

"So hey, you guys want to tell me why you are here?" *chuckling*

Luvcow

One day nearer spring

Machai posted:

*Chris Hanson walks onto stage. Audience erupts into laughter*

"So hey, you guys want to tell me why you are here?" *chuckling*

Machai

A clown is making balloon animals at a local fair. He takes out several balloons and twists them together to form a chair, which he sits upon. He then makes a giant balloon sewing needle and hands it to a nearby child. As the child pokes the chair with the "needle" the clown uses a needle hidden in his sleeve to pop the chair and falls over in a comedic fashion.

Senior Management



Slowly, the portly comedian makes his way to his chair. Every step is agony, the sweaty joke man must sit. He reaches the chair at an odd angle and sits with great force. But the chair has wheels and so it begins to spin. The comedy man cannot stop it. Here he spins for eternity. The scientist arrive with their steam and their pistons. They will harness the fat man for the world's energy needs. The spinning does not stop. We salute the comedy man's sacrifice.

:jerry:

I Was The Fury

Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

Clint Eastwood brings a president on stage for a bit he has planned for his politics speech.
"So you all might have noticed the chair this president is sitting on, and I ju-"
*silence*
"No chair, you'll have to wait your turn for me to sit on you, Obama is not done sitting yet"

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Sensible_Psycho

Without me, it's just aweso.
He's just sitting what we're all thinking

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