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Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

Asterios posted:

You won't even stand behind your smear. Refute the facts, buddy! They're all above your post, and apparently, your head.

Where does it say anything about "Holiday Gifts" in that staff picks article

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Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Alaois posted:

Where does it say anything about "Holiday Gifts" in that staff picks article

You mean the article about christmas lights, women standing next to christmas trees, and a fake catalog of toys, like the kind you get around christmas?

http://www.avclub.com/article/vintage-holiday-lights-and-kitschy-photos-plus-boo-247054

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

You desperately do not understand the staff picks section do you

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Alaois posted:

You desperately do not understand the staff picks section do you

I honestly don't! I swear to god, I do not read the av club regularly. I know I'm in an article called staff picks, and they're suggesting readers by my book.

But this isn't a case of me not getting specific site terminology right. This is a mod trying to smear a front page writer he doesn't like, instead of just doing what everyone else does, and saying "I hate that fat, unfunny guy."

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

Asterios posted:

I honestly don't! I swear to god, I do not read the av club regularly. I know I'm in an article called staff picks, and they're suggesting readers by my book.

But this isn't a case of me not getting specific site terminology right. This is a mod trying to smear a front page writer he doesn't like, instead of just doing what everyone else does, and saying "I hate that fat, unfunny guy."

Someone pointing out you made a mistake should not result in you crying SMEAR JOB SMEAR JOB STOP TRYING TO KEEP ME DOWN, you have legitimate mental issues you need to work out.

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Alaois posted:

Someone pointing out you made a mistake should not result in you crying SMEAR JOB SMEAR JOB STOP TRYING TO KEEP ME DOWN, you have legitimate mental issues you need to work out.

What else do you call posting that I'm lying about what the press said about me in an attempt to make me look bad?

I guess you've also run out of facts, though. You guys wanna fight me on the facts, go ahead. You just tried to with your weird "holiday" argument and it didn't work.

scott zoloft
Dec 7, 2015

yeah same
people think i'm a retard for having this book in my house and i think they might be right.

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

scott zoloft posted:

people think i'm a retard for having this book in my house and i think they might be right.

at least you got the book for free! imagine paying hard earned money to look like that

scott zoloft
Dec 7, 2015

yeah same

Asterios posted:

at least you got the book for free! imagine paying hard earned money to look like that

if only that were true. i unfortunately paid for it.

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

scott zoloft posted:

if only that were true. i unfortunately paid for it.

Oh god. I'm so, so sorry.

scott zoloft
Dec 7, 2015

yeah same
you don't sound sorry.

scott zoloft
Dec 7, 2015

yeah same
i think it is interesting that you're trying to prove that you have nothing to prove by providing of proof of the contrary while also panhandling in 3 different threads o_O

scott zoloft fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Dec 23, 2016

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

scott zoloft posted:

i think it is interesting that you're trying to prove that you have nothing to prove by providing of proof of the contrary while also panhandling in 3 different threads o_O

What can I say: I'm very easily baited. I'm not used to people talking about me in the abstract, and it's just really way too tempting to weigh in. One day, I hope there are multiple "Scott Zoloft Sucks" threads and you find the strength to ignore them.

Also, you started all this poo poo, so you're one to complain!

Inspector_666
Oct 7, 2003

benny with the good hair
This is like Donald Trump's Twitter account in post form.

#unfair

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Inspector_666 posted:

This is like Donald Trump's Twitter account in post form.

#unfair

What? I'm nothing like Donald Trump.

Donald Trump is funny.

John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Really?

Asterios posted:

You mean the article about christmas lights, women standing next to christmas trees, and a fake catalog of toys, like the kind you get around christmas?

http://www.avclub.com/article/vintage-holiday-lights-and-kitschy-photos-plus-boo-247054

This isn't an article about holiday gifts. It's just "this is stuff these three writers found cool enough to write about."

I mean you can't really gift a website about vintage Christmas tree pictures or the concept of bubble lights.

Kudos for getting your book mentioned at least? But it's not really the big thing you make it out to be.

Asterios posted:

What? I'm nothing like Donald Trump.

I dunno, the "weird, jealous head case!" insult was pretty Trumpy.

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

John Dyne posted:


Kudos for getting your book mentioned at least? But it's not really the big thing you make it out to be.


It's a big deal for me, dude! It's a nice little review and link to my book's Amazon page. I've never been written up in The AV Club before.

And you guys clearly all read the AV Club. I mean, enough to be the most pedantic assholes in the world about what qualifies as a suggestion of a "holiday gift" vs a suggestion to "buy a holiday themed book in a holiday themed article coming out during the holidays."

I posted a link to a write up about my book in a thread about my book. Keep finding fault with that, it's a great look, especially for our mods.

scott zoloft
Dec 7, 2015

yeah same

Asterios posted:

One day, I hope there are multiple "Scott Zoloft Sucks" threads and you find the strength to ignore them.

heh... THAT'll be the day :cool:

Asterios posted:

Also, you started all this poo poo, so you're one to complain!

it started from a place of love and turned ugly real fast.

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

scott zoloft posted:


it started from a place of love and turned ugly real fast.

Well the thing is, you were right! That dumb burlesque list was really lovely. So I kinda got what I deserved, I guess.

Cinnamon Bear
Aug 29, 2016

by FactsAreUseless
God bless you, President Baby. I haven't laughed this hard at your writing since ever.

Merry Christmas!

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

Cinnamon Bear posted:

God bless you, President Baby. I haven't laughed this hard at your writing since ever.

Merry Christmas!

Thanks, buddy. Don't forget to support me on Patreon!

het
Nov 14, 2002

A dark black past
is my most valued
possession

Asterios posted:

Thanks, buddy. Don't forget to support me on Patreon!
How are you this insecure when you have 350+ people giving you $2k+ per month? Like I get that that isn't enough to live on by itself but surely it's enough not to freak the gently caress out at the littlest perceived slight, right?

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

het posted:

How are you this insecure when you have 350+ people giving you $2k+ per month? Like I get that that isn't enough to live on by itself but surely it's enough not to freak the gently caress out at the littlest perceived slight, right?

If the guy's gonna punch, I'm gonna punch back!

There are now three threads dedicated to how lovely I am on a forum I've been reading since I was a kid. If I'm not handling this perfectly, I don't know what to tell you -- it's weird to experience and I'm doing the best I can.

And honestly, the idea that people would go so far as to parse me promoting my first appearance in the AV Club -- in a thread about my own book started by someone else -- as me intentionally misstating poo poo is incredibly hurtful. That's really, really low.

Asterios fucked around with this message at 12:06 on Dec 24, 2016

ass
Sep 22, 2011
Young Orc

Asterios posted:

If the guy's gonna punch, I'm gonna punch back!

There are now three threads dedicated to how lovely I am on a forum I've been reading since I was a kid. If I'm not handling this perfectly, I don't know what to tell you -- it's weird to experience and I'm doing the best I can.

And honestly, the idea that people would go so far as to parse me promoting my first appearance in the AV Club -- in a thread about my own book started by someone else -- as me intentionally misstating poo poo is incredibly hurtful. That's really, really low.

You're been reading SA since you were a kid and you still freak out like this when people call you out? How did you not learn?

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

rear end posted:

You're been reading SA since you were a kid and you still freak out like this when people call you out? How did you not learn?

I'm a dumb, sensitive baby! It's so, so stupid to engage. But I honestly do let the stuff get to me. I am egocentric and dumb.

Like, the first time I sent Lowtax a front page submission, I was 18. I'd always reach out every few years, until finally, an SA insider was generous enough to send my stuff to Garbage Day. And then fifteen years later, I got offered a weekly slot, which is a dream come true.

So I'm just very dumb and emotional about all of this. And clearly, I would rather spar with strangers on the internet about the syntax used in an AV club link on Christmas Eve than do anything to fix the massive problems in my life. And my oversensitivity makes me the perfect bait for the sites loyal trolls, who are now in their 30's & 40's, and are also depressed and sad and upset.

I'm dumb, and this is all dumb. But do any of us have anything better to do?

504
Feb 2, 2016

by R. Guyovich

Asterios posted:

I'm dumb, and this is all dumb. But do any of us have anything better to do?

Well yes, because some of us have written a book (It's you, you have better things to do)

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

504 posted:

Well yes, because some of us have written a book (It's you, you have better things to do)

Yeah, I owe a second one -- a 50k word memoir -- and it's terrifying. And I've gotta make 25 episodes of the five minute podcast before the end of the year. It's easier to fight with people who don't like me than create stuff for people who do. It's dumb, and I'm dumb, but anxiety, depression and a willingness to feed the trolls seem to be winning. Happy holidays!

RestingB1tchFace
Jul 4, 2016

Opinions are like a$$holes....everyone has one....but mines the best!!!
The AV club? lol. How exciting that their review will be seen by all of their ten visitors.

504
Feb 2, 2016

by R. Guyovich

Asterios posted:

Yeah, I owe a second one -- a 50k word memoir -- and it's terrifying. And I've gotta make 25 episodes of the five minute podcast before the end of the year. It's easier to fight with people who don't like me than create stuff for people who do. It's dumb, and I'm dumb, but anxiety, depression and a willingness to feed the trolls seem to be winning. Happy holidays!

So.. I guess you have two options.

1: Leave this website, get help, keep writing and maybe even make a successful career out of your writing.

2: Stay here, keep getting worked up, collapse, become a Smorky level failure that people mock forever.

I know which one id do if I have any talent and a potential shot to get paid to do what I like.

Asterios
Apr 17, 2008

So long, Skorpex!

https://www.presidentbaby.com

504 posted:

So.. I guess you have two options.

1: Leave this website, get help, keep writing and maybe even make a successful career out of your writing.

2: Stay here, keep getting worked up, collapse, become a Smorky level failure that people mock forever.

I know which one id do if I have any talent and a potential shot to get paid to do what I like.

OK, this is terrifyingly accurate. Thank you for this. I'm gonna install one of those dumb IP blockers only manbabies with no self control use.

Seriously, thank you, this is very well put and I will 1000% take your advice.

Proud Rat Mom
Apr 2, 2012

did absolutely fuck all
asterios your articles read like they are written by the dog from family guy. like all your 'characters' are thinly veiled satires which you drop during some sentences and go straight to expressing your 100% mild polictical views.

your paperboy article was pretty funny, had a good hook, and you kept in character enough to keep the piece going. but alot of them like the brock sampson one or the bear university one either suffer from unfunny sentences, no frame of view or both.

RestingB1tchFace
Jul 4, 2016

Opinions are like a$$holes....everyone has one....but mines the best!!!
I liked the Christmas casualty article from today. Pretty good.

your friend a dog
Nov 2, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo

RestingB1tchFace posted:

I liked the Christmas casualty article from today. Pretty good.

me 2

Shine
Feb 26, 2007

No Muscles For The Majority

Asterios posted:

OK, this is terrifyingly accurate. Thank you for this. I'm gonna install one of those dumb IP blockers only manbabies with no self control use.

Seriously, thank you, this is very well put and I will 1000% take your advice.

No you won't.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Asterios posted:

OK, this is terrifyingly accurate. Thank you for this. I'm gonna install one of those dumb IP blockers only manbabies with no self control use.

Seriously, thank you, this is very well put and I will 1000% take your advice.

Hey my dude,

I'd like to congratulate you on the release of your first book! That's amazing and plenty of people do plenty less with their entire lives.

I think your writing needs work, all writing needs work, but a lot of the stuff you write is funny and I really enjoy it. I don't think it's fair or cool the way folks are ganging up on you but there are only a few ways to react to that. Either read what they have to say, subtract the cheap potshots and bullshit from the honest criticisms, and use that to improve your writing (best way) ignore them completely (second best way) or read it and let it affect your confidence as a writer and a person, which seems to be what might be happening here. That is the third best way, in other words the worst way.

Those are just my ratings and I don't know you so YMMV. Don't block an IP, just let the dumb poo poo roll off you and take from it what's useful to improve what you do.

Psycho Society
Oct 21, 2010
How did someone with literally zero self awareness get to be a front page writer on something awful. You'd think after reading and trying to contribute to SA for at least a decade you'd realize that the writers kind of need to able to laugh at themselves too.

Some of your stuff is passingly funny but it's utterly stomped into the dirt by your tendency to attack anyone who gives you minor criticism.

Cinnamon Bear
Aug 29, 2016

by FactsAreUseless
Hey, he made a new year's resolution to not engage and so far he's avoided it! I'm genuinely impressed.

But also a little sad because when he attacks critics its usually funnier than his actual writing. Unintentionally, but still, it counts.

504
Feb 2, 2016

by R. Guyovich

Psycho Society posted:

How did someone with literally zero self awareness get to be a front page writer on something awful.

Are you under the impression its difficult to provide free material for a website?

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
Call me crazy, but if I wrote something that was noted by a recognizable website I'd probably brag about it too, and if I did so as an employee of a website I'd also be pretty upset if other employees (paid or not) of that website called me out for it.

That said, I don't know all the details or the history of everyone involved, just my two cents.

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FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Hey, I want to apologize publicly for being a dick to you, Asterios. I'm sorry. It was an amazingly stupid thing to do, and you didn't deserve it. I know other people were already doing it, but I should not have joined in, especially not as an admin. Anyone who contributes content to the front page deserves recognition for helping to keep this site going. Again, sorry. I mean that.

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