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E/N: 25, male, married. I grew up never having much money, so I never learned to budget it. I didn't get a job until my early 20s. It was a completely soul-crushing job, so I went out and got drunk nearly every night. I quit that job eventually, figured I would get a new one, so I kept acting like I had a job. Within 5 months I maxed out my $4000 credit card. I eventually did get a good job working in IT, but instead of paying off my debts, I went out to eat with my then-fiancee now-wife almost every night. A couple of jobs later, I was still doing the same thing, and my credit card debt had gone up to $5600 after a credit limit increase and a month off work due to an appendectomy. Whenever I would pay my credit card down by a few thousand, I would run it up within a couple months, even though I thought I was only using it for gas and groceries. Now I'm making really good money for me ($22/hr), but it's a 3 month contract lasting until late January, which means I have no job security. I also have to plan on paying my wife's car insurance, health insurance, and phone bill starting in March. I also have $5717.26 in collections. It's from a semester of college. My mother had always done the FAFSA, since it asks for way more information about the parents than the student. I guess this time she didn't do it. By the end of the semester, we weren't on speaking terms and I was in the middle of the worst long term depression spell of my entire life. I got some letters from the college, but I never opened them. It turns out that was them telling me I owed them money. I found this out at the end of 2014, but when I sent a validation letter the collections agency never provided validation. Then I got contacted again this year. I was in the middle of negotiations when I lost my previous job. I want to get that dealt with just so it isn't looming over my head, but I can't make any promises about paying until I have job security. My wife and I both have bad depression and anxiety, she has bad bipolar on top of that. We have a hard time not just saying "gently caress it" and ordering or going out whenever we have a bad day. And a lot of days are bad days. That's also why our medical expenses are so high. She's unable to work, the last job she held down was very part time, and it was for someone whose daughter's life was ruined due to her bipolar. Anyone else wouldn't have had the patience for how often she called in sick. She's applied for disability, but I'm not sure it will work. She hasn't worked consistently over the past ten years, but she's also had this problem for longer than she's not been working, which is supposed to be an exception. Current Bank Balance: $4073 Income: $3160 / 4 wks Expenses: Rent + utilities: $1020 Internet: $70 Groceries: $200 Car insurance $68 (paid for November) Gas: $130? Prescriptions: $65 Pet food: $75 Vet: $50 Doctors: $100 Car maintenace / repair: $100 Credit card: $140 Other Medical: $315 Netflix: $10 Household/hygiene supplies: $30 Haircuts: $15 Joint fun money / capital improvements: $200 E-liquid / coils: $50 Student Loan: $140 - $250 (depends on if I get graduated payments) Repay debt / build cushion: $345 - $445 depending on loan payments Debt: American Express at 20% APR: 5,675.42 Student loans: 7,038.14 at 6.8% 5,358.37 at 3.4% 4,500 at 4.66% 5,250 at 4.29% Loan from bank to cover hospital bill: 1,099.94 at ??%, $44.88 / month until 1/2019. I need to call to find out the actual interest rate, I'll edit it in then Personal debts: My mom: $680 Our ex-roommate's share of the deposit: $165 Doctor's bill: $199 Final bill from trash at last apartment: $25 Collections: $5,717.26 at gently caress My Credit Score% I also got a windfall from a source I cannot legally disclose smuggling cocaine in my rear end in a top hat. I've paid off a significant amount of debts with that already, and spent some on just surviving until my first paycheck. Currently it's at 4,073. I'm going to be paying back some of what I've set aside from my November paychecks, since I'm spending some of it in November. I'll put up an updated list of those tomorrow. I've hosed up my finances so often, I can't keep doing this. I'm only going to get more financial responsibilities in the coming year, and I'm not going to spend the rest of my life living paycheck to paycheck. We have Mint, we have YNAB, we're going to see which we like better. Are there any details I forgot to mention? I have a tendency to try to simplify things for clarity. In situations like this, it usually means I leave something important out.
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Oct 31, 2016 02:51
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Having sad brains and having bipolar is pretty hard going. I appreciate this will be difficult for you to stay disciplined but if you manage to this will get less stressful over time. For your circumstances you have a reasonable cash buffer. Some quick calculations show that your bank loan doesn't seem to be too bad in terms of interest rate. You're main problem debts are carrying the credit card balance and collections. With respect to collections I'm not the best person to advise. They will call a lot and apply a lot of pressure and stress. Negotiate a monthly payment, explain that you are up against the wall with your debts and you only have a specific sum that you can pay each month, something like $100/month. Remember you have no other money available, don't reveal any other financial details when they probe you for information. Once the AMEX is paid off then look at the remainder of the debt sent to collections. All other spare repayment money needs to go on the AMEX card as 20% interest is brutal. It will take a while to sort these out and get rid of the credit card debt so I'm not providing further advice, and I don't see a better tactic for approaching these debts at this time. At least the other lower interest rate debts will diminish while you are addressing your problem debts.
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Oct 31, 2016 03:22
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Yeah, as unhealthy as it is I have been really stressed out about money since June, so if I can just hold on to that until I'm used to being responsible, It should work this time. I've known for a long time that getting my finances under control will be the best thing I can do for my mental health. Really the biggest thing I'm worried about long term is the extra ~400 per month for her insurance and phone starting in March. If I can't get good benefits or a job with similar pay by then I don't know how I can make it work.
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Oct 31, 2016 04:08
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Is this medical insurance or other insurance? How much is the phone per month? Is there a reason for the phone when your budget is really tight?
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Oct 31, 2016 04:12
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Are y'all in therapy for your mental issues? If not you should be.
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Oct 31, 2016 16:01
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It's really hard to fix finances before you fix the mental disorder side of things. Fix or manage anyway. What are all of the treatments both you and your wife are doing? Therapy, pills, exercises, meditation, etc etc
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Oct 31, 2016 17:28
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:Are y'all in therapy for your mental issues? If not you should be. Not therapy right now, but heavily medicated. Therapy is on the to-do list. We try to at least go for walks with the dog regularly. I used to lift weights, but I was bad about going and gave up my gym membership because it was too expensive. I've been meaning to do some running and bodyweight exercises, but I rarely actually do anything despite knowing it will make me feel better afterwards. Her health insurance is $320 off the marketplace, car insurance is $30, and phone is $40. We were looking at the $30 100 minutes T-Mobile plan, but she still uses her phone for talking. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 18:30 on Nov 1, 2016 |
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Oct 31, 2016 18:24
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Both of you should be in therapy. It will help you make progress towards your financial and non-financial goals.
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Oct 31, 2016 21:25
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I think I am going to have to increase the doctor budget. She had a psychiatrist visit yesterday, that's already $100. I was hoping to spread out visits, but we need to go to therapists, I need to go to the dentist, and I also need to be seen for physical issues at a GP. Those are the least important, though. Those are just chronic annoyances, nothing major. I paid our ex-roommate yesterday, so that's one debt down. I know it's not an improvement in my financial situation, but it feels good to whittle away at the things I need to keep in mind and/or worry about. Because of that, I think I'm going to forget about what I had been planning to do with the windfall. Rather than throwing it all at the card and then paying back the rest of my personal debts and building a cushion, I'm going to do the latter first, and then throw all the extra I can at the card. It will mean more interest, but not having to keep track of a bunch of different debts will reduce my stress, which is a big thing at this point. I do have a week's paycheck and a small paycheck from a project coming in this week. I hadn't really budgeted October by itself, so while it's not "extra," it's money coming in that I hadn't allocated since it's not normal income. That's going to be enough by itself to cover a month's rent, so that's a big part of my cushion there. Or that's rent, and money in the windfall is the cushion. Or the money in the windfall is rent and the cushion, and this is debt reduction. I feel like how I categorize it doesn't matter, it's all money in the bank, and some of it is assigned in different places, but it doesn't matter where that money came from. Am I thinking about this wrong? Is it okay for me to blog post in here, as long as it's money related? That's what I'm inclined to do so far. Just make a post anytime something money related happens, or at least once a week for a budget update.
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Nov 1, 2016 18:49
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What treatments are you using besides medication and psychiatry visits for the both of you to manage your mental disorders?
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Nov 1, 2016 18:53
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That's pretty much it, aside from the therapy we need to go to. In the summer it's a lot easier to make ourselves go outside for a long walk or a rare hike. On the bright side, that "other medical" has nearly gotten rid of the SAD that has made winters so difficult for as long as I have known her. She still has less energy, but emotionally she has is miles ahead from where she used to be. I'm not sure what else you could mean aside from medication, Psychiatry, exercise, and medication.
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Nov 1, 2016 21:49
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I won't talk about budgeting for a little bit because others are more equipped to explain the how to and everything, but you both should really consider doing 30 minutes to an hour worth of physical activity a day on top of daily meditation practices to help with your mental disorders. These two things will do wonders for your girlfriends moods, and should help you out with depression. You could easily knock out both if you committed to daily mindfulness Yoga, or is there a couples sport you could get into? Running and biking aside, tennis, racquetball basketball all depending on what part of the country you're in you could do a lot of different things with low overhead costs.
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Nov 1, 2016 22:14
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I'll think about a sport. It would be nice to have something like that to do together, but I'm not optimistic, at least for the winter. We're in Colorado, so winter sports are mostly skiing/snowboarding/snowshoeing. None of those are cheap. I'm also not sure whether she will even want to spend more time outside. She has terrible circulation, she has been needing to wear earmuffs and gloves at night, even though it hasn't gotten much below 50 yet. At least she actually feels better after exercise now. Before last year, maybe even before this year, she felt worse after exercising. I've never been able to quiet down my mind enough to meditate. I don't know if she can either.
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Nov 1, 2016 22:25
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Mindfulness meditation isn't for quieting things down, but rather for paying attention to everything that's going on. Quieting your mind is a near impossible task for someone with bipolar so it'd be a really bad idea to teach someone that style. There are a ton of indoor sports, what would be wrong with getting gym memberships that have rock climbing or racquetball courts? That would be easy to find in denver. If you wanted to do some hunting you could both easily get into hockey also which is great all year round given where you live. Finding something you want to do is the easy part, getting you convinced to do it is well... The other side. Lastly this is something your therapist will recommend more than likely anyway. At least the exercise part and definintely breathing exercises
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Nov 1, 2016 23:29
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Cross country skiing and snowshoeing are free. edit: suggesting hockey is stupid, ice time fees are insane.
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Nov 2, 2016 01:16
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There's no such thing as "terrible circulation", just get your lazy asses off the couch and stop making excuses.
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Nov 2, 2016 01:19
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Pryor on Fire posted:There's no such thing as "terrible circulation", just get your lazy asses off the couch and stop making excuses. While this is kind of true in real life and especially for American society, it's likely the mental issues that are preventing them from doing that. You can't just yell at someone who is having depression, bipolar, whatever issues to just fix it. It doesn't quite work that way. That being said, maybe walking around a mall or somewhere inside? Personally, my wife has some issues getting motivated, and one thing that helps her, of all things, is playing Pokémon. Location based game is decently inspiring as an excuse to get out, is cheap, and you can do either indoors or outdoors. Assuming it's not a dead mall with no pokestops. Just an example that maybe an outside the box idea could help.
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Nov 2, 2016 01:34
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:Cross country skiing and snowshoeing are free. Skis and snowshoes are expensive, though. I don't know for sure if it's bad circulation or something else. But she gets cold extremely easily. She needs earmuffs in 40 degree weather. Yes, we've gone to the doctor, no we don't know what it is. We're going to try to walk with the dog as much as possible. There's a gym at work. Not much in the way of equipment, but I should be able to squeeze a workout in during my hour lunch. Assuming I don't just read the forums all lunch. I'm trying to explain to my wife why it's better to pay any surplus to the credit card rather than just stacking it up in the bank. I'm thinking of saying how if you have x dollars, pay y to the credit card, and have (for example) 40 dollars less interest per month in interest, you still have effectively x dollars, except you're also "making" an extra $40 per month. Is there anything I'm missing?
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Nov 2, 2016 03:49
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:Cross country skiing and snowshoeing are free. Rec league here is 10 dollars a game and even cheaper if you John for the season, just threw it out there because it sometimes can actually be affordable
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Nov 2, 2016 04:05
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Used winter equipment is readily available and is quite cheap.
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Nov 2, 2016 11:52
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Get your wife working, that will be the biggest help to your finances - and her mental well being. Not working is bad news for most people. *Most* people with mental illness can work when they are getting the right treatment. A major goal should be to get her to that point. Suggesting cross country skiing or hockey as a cheap sport is hilarious.
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Nov 8, 2016 00:29
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You can get a set of cross country skis for like a hundred bucks and at least where I live there's plenty of free state land to go ski on.
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Nov 8, 2016 13:06
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Except most people prefer to ski on groomed trails which adds either daily or annual pass prices. In addition, if you have never done aerobic activity outside, you'll probably need to buy some new clothing. You could easily spend $500-$1000 as a couple to get totally outfitted, and that is with buying lots of used gear.
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Nov 9, 2016 00:19
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People skiing on groomed trails are cowards or suburban fuckfaces, and if you live in Colorado you probably have enough gear to get by initially because you like, go outside in the winter occasionally. Seriously, I cross-country skiied for years and years while spending ~50 on some tolerable snowpants and ~50 on old lovely skis and poles. Sure, you can make it expensive, but it certainly doesn't have to be.
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Nov 15, 2016 15:25
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Sorry for basically abandoning this. Quick updates: Tons of unexpected expenses (2 broken phones, hospital bill, car repairs, broken vacuum) have eaten into the settlement. Our budget would have covered it if we had time to save up for those expenses like planned, but we didn't. We're saving for a move to a part of the state with a better job market so I can escape this string of 3-6 month contracts. So far I'm looking at ~6-10k raises for similar to slightly better jobs. 16k on the high end, but it would be stupid to plan for that. I've had one interview in my first week of looking. I'm really hoping for one that would probably only be at most 6k, but it has travel reimbursement, free lunch so I don't keep spending $2.50 several times a week when I forget my lunch at home, and most importantly, the best health plan ever. 0 copay, 0 deductible, 0 premium. Looking at my medical expenses, you can see why that's huge. That's about $500/mo, even more once I age out of my dad's insurance in a few months. My wife volunteered to take care of finances to take that off my plate. So far she's been just keeping track of that stuff on her own, but she's going to start using Mint next month now that she knows some of what it can do. The biggest challenge for me is going to be not breathing down her neck and micromanaging her. I've got a bad habit of being overly controlling, and that's a terrible thing when I need to be trusting her to take care of things. We've talked about it and she's going to try working once the winter is over and her energy comes back. The treatments mean she's not getting suicidal, but her energy is still drained by the SAD. That will be great if it works out. She was already thinking about it. The way I framed it to her is that we can survive on my pay, but her working would let us save up money to afford things like the wedding trip.
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Nov 28, 2016 19:53
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I am pretty sure I told her this, but I'm going to make sure she knows that I won't be pulling in as high a percentage of my gross pay next year. This year I have the education credit and seven months of unemployment, so I've filed exempt since June. Next year I will actually be paying income tax. Reply != Edit
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Nov 28, 2016 22:01
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Hey dude, hang in there with the mental stuff. I have been there and go back there from time to time. I don't have any grand advice but I did have a few thoughts. 1) Other posters are correct, getting yourself right should be a priority. Personally, exercise was always the best antidote for depression. You said you feel bad for paying for a gym membership but there are so many discount gyms out there you shouldn't deprive yourself of that. Planet Fitness is $10-15 a month. If you can't do that I can send you my P90x DVDs so you can work out from home. I've done that a couple times and had never felt so good. 2) As far as all the financial stuff, I would say keep it very simple. Make a list, prioritize your debts. If it was me, I would go credit cards/collections > misc bills > family loan > student loans > medical bill. Do everything in your power to wipe those out. Drive for Uber on the weekends, mow some lawns, whatever it takes. If you can somehow find a way to make another $300 a month you could get rid of all your debt and actually see light at the end of the tunnel. 3) Where do you live? Any possible way you can downsize to a slightly smaller place and save a couple hundred a month? Might be worth it. 4) As far as the reckless spending, going out and the like, that is something you have to do on your own to develop discipline. That is something you can very easily control. There are some things you can not control at this moment like debt and mental issues but developing healthy spending habits going forward is paramount.
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Dec 1, 2016 22:41
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Planet Fitness would kick me out in 15 minutes for setting off the lunk alarm, even if they had the equipment I needed. 24 hour fitness is an option, but the problem really is just me being lazy. I can work out a little bit at home, but I never do. I could go to the employee gym on lunch, but I don't. I really just need to stop being lazy. Short of a door mounted pullup bar, I have what I need. I'd heard that Uber really barely pays anything after all of the associated costs and having to handle your own taxes as a contractor. Is that not true? I'm not sure it would be a good idea anyway, just from a relationship perspective. I'll think about it. E: As in, actually thinking about it. Looking into what would be involved with it, pay, that sort of thing. If we broke our lease and got a roommate for the cheapest place we could find, we might be able to cut $200/mo off, more realistically $100. Our 1 bedroom is barely more expensive than 2/3 the cost of the cheaper two bedrooms around here. And it's the same size in terms of square feet. We are going to be moving soon, though. At least hopefully we will. Unfortunately, after estimating how much I'm going to be paying in taxes next year due to no longer being exempt, and how much paying for my wife's health insurance, car insurance, and phone will cost starting in March, we probably will have to be paying the same amount and getting a roommate if/when we move. But if we don't move somewhere that pays more and I get stuck with the same pay when March hits, we won't be able to make ends meet at all. It really sucks that in the US, you need to have been working consistently over the past 10 years to qualify for disability. Because if you've been disabled for a while, too bad, you don't qualify. We're hoping that if she can't work in the spring, we can get the exemption of her having had her disability (depression) since before she was expected to work. She's been dealing with it since junior high school, and her doctor should still have records of that. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 19:02 on Dec 3, 2016 |
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Dec 3, 2016 18:42
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22 Eargesplitten posted:It really sucks that in the US, you need to have been working consistently over the past 10 years to qualify for disability. Because if you've been disabled for a while, too bad, you don't qualify. We're hoping that if she can't work in the spring, we can get the exemption of her having had her disability (depression) since before she was expected to work. She's been dealing with it since junior high school, and her doctor should still have records of that. If you are in your thirties, you basically have to have had a part time job for 5 of the last 10 years in order to qualify for social security disability. You do not need to have the full 10 years (40 credits).
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Dec 3, 2016 18:57
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I don't think driving for Uber is a great idea considering the massive potential insurance liability that exists. There are better ways to make spare money.
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Dec 6, 2016 11:44
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Like finally getting off my rear end and selling all of those retro Infocom games, suits, dress shoes, guitar, and amp. Obviously that's not long term, but it's what I should have done months ago. I also need to go to the plasma clinic a few times. I was going to go when money was super tight earlier in the year, but two of my medications needed letters from my doctor to be accepted. I know it seems like a poor drug addict/college student (same thing, amirite  ) thing to do, but the first four visits add up to $270, and that's nothing to sneeze at. I probably won't after that.We probably aren't going to the wedding after all, which sucks but is also a huge load off my mind (and bank account). Hopefully she'll do some sort of celebration in the States for the probably 90% of American friends that won't/can't pay $3-4,000 to go to a different continent for a wedding. Maybe this way we can save up from our fun money to go visit another friend in Seattle around that same time. Round trip tickets are $100, and we can crash at the friend's place, so that will keep costs down. That will be something we budget for, though. We're not just going to say gently caress it and destroy 2 months of savings. I've got a second round job interview on Monday for a job making $27/hr. It won't end up netting much more once I take out income taxes and my wife's health insurance, but it would still be a lot better than what my current job would be after taxes and insurance. Contracts suck, job hunting sucks, but it occurred to me that they do have one distinct advantage. It gives me an excuse to hop rapidly between companies and positions. At the beginning of this year I was making $17. Now I'm making $22, and if I got this job it would be an increase of 66% in one year. Next year I really need to land a position with good insurance for the two of us, but for now I can keep jumping up the ladder on contracts. Not that I would refuse a full time direct hire position with actual benefits.
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Dec 6, 2016 20:38
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Those all sound like really good things. Keep your chin up and follow through, in a few months you'll be surprised how much better you'll feel.
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Dec 7, 2016 14:31
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I'm surprised nobody brought this up. We have posters in here discussing risk related to driving for Uber (personal insurance for commercial purposes) when the OP is smuggling coke in his rear end for cash. You should probably not smuggle coke in your rear end for cash.
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Dec 21, 2016 08:20
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Wait for real? Where?
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Dec 25, 2016 19:57
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Wickerman posted:I'm surprised nobody brought this up. We have posters in here discussing risk related to driving for Uber (personal insurance for commercial purposes) when the OP is smuggling coke in his rear end for cash.  gently caress you, you're not my real dad!I made a joke about it somewhere, I'm not sure if their reference was joking too. I got an offer for a new job. I'm in negotiations for that one now, and I might have an in for an interview somewhere that would pay better and be a permanent position. This could be huge. It's in the Boulder area, so it would have a higher cost of living, but our medical costs and debt would be the same so we could end up ahead still. I'll post an update when everything is finalized.
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Dec 25, 2016 20:09
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Doubleposting because I can. The first week of January, I got laid off from a position making $17 an hour.  I'll start on either the 12th or 16th, depending on whether they want me starting on a Thursday. I haven't heard back on another job I applied for that I thought I would be a good fit for, but I'm probably not getting an interview because I heard that they were looking to decide really soon. I don't know what my post-tax take home is going to be, is there any calculator updated for 2017 based on the exemptions rather than the specific tax burden?
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Dec 29, 2016 16:33
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22 Eargesplitten posted:I don't know what my post-tax take home is going to be, is there any calculator updated for 2017 based on the exemptions rather than the specific tax burden? If you are just trying to figure out how big your paycheck is going to be you can use the ADP calculator https://www.adp.com/tools-and-resources/calculators-and-tools/payroll-calculators/hourly-paycheck-calculator.aspx.
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Dec 29, 2016 16:45
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Thanks. Looks like I should be a couple hundred up per month after tax. Depending on the health insurance they offer I might be able to cover that with that since it's pre-tax. Individual health insurance is post-tax, right? E: actually, factoring in everything else, that's going to end up with us behind where we are, but it would be even worse next year where I currently am.  I really hope she can work this spring. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 20:20 on Dec 29, 2016 |
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Dec 29, 2016 20:05
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Thanks. Looks like I should be a couple hundred up per month after tax. Depending on the health insurance they offer I might be able to cover that with that since it's pre-tax. Yes, if your employer deducts health insurance directly from your paycheck it is currently exempt from all tax (including FICA). It is hard to imagine a scenario where you would be well served by turning down employer insurance to purchase your own. It looks like you are going from a job that paid $22 per hour to $27 per hour? It is hard to believe that you could possibly be worse off than before, even if you have to pay your full insurance cost for a couple. That would be more than a $10,000/year premium for a couple which is high for two young people (unless you both smoke I guess).
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Dec 29, 2016 20:49
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I'm currently exempt from income tax due to finishing college this year, the credit is going to outweigh my tax burden. Next year I have to start paying tax again. I'm also eventually going to have to move, and this is in a more expensive area. The tax would put me in at least as bad of a position where I am now too. Hopefully in 6 months I'll have a permanent position at the place, their health insurance is fantastic. I currently don't need insurance, so I'm going to have to weigh getting it through the employer for both vs getting it through the marketplace for her.
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Dec 29, 2016 23:31
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