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22 Eargesplitten posted:TL;DR: Credit card from 5600 Feb 1st to 253 Feb 3rd. Well done! Even if it's not completely gone, that's a huge chunk of debt paid off and you're very very close to clearing it soon. 22 Eargesplitten posted:I also am trying really hard to find someplace closer to work we can move. I feel like spending 2.5 hours commuting 5 days a week is really decreasing my quality of life. It’s a lot less time I can spend with my wife, and it’s time I can’t spend exercising. Any luck on this front so far?
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Feb 5, 2018 12:33
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22 Eargesplitten posted:I really want her to be involved with the finances because I don’t want to be a chauvinistic ‘50s household where the man controls the money and the woman shuts up and does as he says, but we just aren’t on the same page at all.  Sorry to hear that. It sucks to not be on the same page as your other half, especially when it's about important stuff. Does she find it hard to conceptualise debt, i.e. the credit card isn't money? Also, what does her being involved with the finances mean to you? Is it that you want her to help out with the record keeping and reconciling transactions? Having input into setting the budget? Agreeing on your life goals and making a financial plan on how to pay for it?Working this out is really important because in most cases, you'll find that there's always one person in a relationship who manages the finances. These days, it generally falls to the person who is more financially literate. That doesn't mean it always has to mean that they call all the shots. For example, I am the one who manages our household finances but we set our goals together. I draft the budget based on those goals and we agree the final budget together. I track and reconcile most of the expenses but he does some of this as well. At the end of every month, I run all the budget vs actual analysis and how we're tracking in terms of achieving our goals. We review the results and make any adjustments to budget together. Rinse and repeat each month. 22 Eargesplitten posted:She said I’m “overly logical” about finances. This is why salespeople don't use logic for their pitches, they play on your emotions. So yeah, if you want to convince her to get on board, you need to appeal to her emotions. Whether you choose the carrot or the stick depends on your situation and your wife. Example carrot: "Wouldn't a trip to a private island somewhere in the Pacific be nice? I think it'd cost about $XXXXX for a week-long getaway. And hey, you know what, that's exactly how much we paid in interest on our debt in the past year. Just imagine if we didn't have that debt and saved that money instead - we could have bought the plane tickets right now!"
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Feb 6, 2018 14:28
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turing_test posted:I really liked I Will Teach You To Be Rich. This. Sethi's got a lot of free resources to help you get started. Most of them are systems based too so you don't have to consciously think about it once you've got things set up.
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Feb 11, 2018 13:38
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22 Eargesplitten posted:We’ll have to keep looking. It’s a shame, the place was nice in terms of looks, good yard, good garage, good location, but just too small. I'm always amazed at how relative "too small" is country by country. Any time I look at average American homes, they just seem palatial to me. The thought of having to clean and maintain anything bigger than a 90sqm (~1000sqft) home gives me a headache. Granted my frame of reference is HK, NYC and Sydney... So is it too small as in "we can't fit all our stuff" or too small as in "we'd be constantly living in each other's laps"? To me, the most important consideration is whether you each have your own space you can retreat to if you just want to be alone, how often you're home and where you spend your time when you are home. My husband and I lived in a studio apartment in Manhattan and it was great. Living with that little space meant we didn't accumulate a lot of stuff and while we did cook a lot and entertained occasionally, most of the time we went out and just came home to sleep. In Sydney, we live in a 1 bedroom apartment with a baby. Space is tight but more because we haven't really thought out how to use the space well and we're in the process of rearranging. If it is "we can't fit all our stuff", how much "stuff" do you guys actually have, and how much of it do you actually use? It's really surprising what we hang on to "just in case" we might need it one day or because we paid some money for it long ago.
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Mar 13, 2018 23:02
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Must be my frame of reference, as 1100 sqft still sounds very spacious to me even with 3-4 adults! You sort of but didn't really answer my question about how much stuff you guys have and how much you actually use. I'm asking as reflecting on this can give you a lot of illuminating insights into your beliefs about money and spending it. If you visualize all your belongings as piles of cash, what do you see? A few large piles (small quantity of carefully chosen high quality items), lots of tiny piles (large quantity of cheap "bargains") or something else? Which things do you get the most utility out of? That could mean things that are frequently used or things that give you a lot of benefits every time you use it. Sometimes doing this leads to unexpected insights. Like the fact that the $100 kitchen trolley regularly generates grief in the form of clutter and daily collisions while the $600 heater is a life saver in winter. Yeah, I got rid of the trolley and have stopped constantly berating myself for I thought was an extravagant and borderline wasteful impulse purchase at the time.
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Mar 14, 2018 02:17
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Leng: We have some stuff we don't really use, but it's stuff that we used in the last place we lived, now we just don't have the living space to use it. Our TV, for example. No room to fit it in the terribly shaped living room, so it's in our bedroom but we never watch TV in bed. Because of that, the sofa and chairs in the living room are mostly used by our pets. The last place we lived, all of that stuff was used because we had the room to use it. We could probably do without the dining room table, we never eat at the table except for romantic dinners. It could be the layout - if it's badly designed, the space will be inefficient and tricky to use well. Sometimes it is a matter of knowing how to use it though (or simply that the stuff you have doesn't fit the space). Have you thought about changing over some of your larger items to items that have storage/can collapse/expand as needed/are multi-purpose? We swapped over our couch and coffee table for a different couch and a large ottoman because the new items both have storage. I am never going back to furniture without storage ever again. On stuff: I'm pressing you on this point because I think you've said in the past that it's really easy for you to go from "I need to save money" to "I'm going to buy <thing>" and your answers so far have been coming across as somewhat evasive. One of your previous posts mentioned that you were going to sell off a bunch of old (hobby related?) things that have just been lying around. I forget how long you've been in your current place as you've talked about moving for a long time. Do you actually miss using all that stuff you just listed? And not having the space to use that stuff, what have you substituted instead? Take the TV for example. If you used to watch TV but now you don't, what have you been doing instead? And is that a better use of your time? And the sofa/chairs - if your pets are the only ones using them, what are you guys/guests using? Do you have company over a lot? And if you don't right now (because of space), have you had company over a lot in the past? Or do you just like the idea of having company over (someday)? n8r posted:You've listed off a bunch of crap that you could definitely get rid of if you moved to a smaller place - hell sell it to fund a deposit. This here is why I asked you to visualize all your belongings as piles of money. If you are not using your sofa/chairs/TV, that is effectively money sitting idle that could be put to better use. They have done studies on clutter and found that it affects your brain. Clearing out things will free up some cash as well as help with feeling like a space is too small. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/12-surprising-ways-clutter-is-ruining-your-life-infographic_us_59160aace4b02d6199b2eee5 freeasinbeer posted:They need a bunch of space because “reasons, I think they get in fights otherwise(I mean I _really_ doubt he’s having guests that often) To be fair, no matter how good your relationship is, sometimes you need a break from each other, even if both individuals are perfectly well-adjusted adults with no ongoing mental health issues. Whether or not you can make this happen in a 1 bedroom place depends a lot on what everyone does to chill out. If she's working on her art (and her studio is at home but not in the bedroom) and he likes to code in his spare time (and his coding rig is at home but not in the bedroom), they won't be able to get away from each other inside their home. On that note though, where do you and your wife spend most of your time at home, OP? And could you get that "space" from each other elsewhere? Like going to the gym maybe? Or a local library? I'm trying to think of indoor options since you've got Real Winter to deal with! Also I went back and skimmed your posts again and you mentioned you had a roommate before. How did that go? What is your track record like with house sharing?
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Mar 14, 2018 16:01
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22 Eargesplitten posted:I contacted a few more places, I’ve heard back from one. Hopefully we can get the hell out this month. That situation sucks and I'm sorry you're having to deal with it. In an attempt to try and offer some help other than commiseration, what is the relocation going to do to your finances and how much of it have you planned for? I don't believe you've posted what your overall situation looks like so it's hard to give specific advice. If you don't feel comfortable posting numbers, what about percentages?
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Jun 6, 2018 03:22
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Congrats on the new place! Your environment has a massive impact on your emotions so hopefully this will mean good things to come. It's especially nice that she was flexible on the payment arrangements.22 Eargesplitten posted:I need to find out the comparative costs of a moving company vs a moving truck and my younger brother and his friends. You might think that's a no-brainer, but teenagers eat a lot of pizza and I need to at least pay them something. Having done both, I recommend getting movers. If someone breaks something you can always go after them for compensation which you probably won't realistically do with friends/family. Also if you've got a lot of heavy stuff to move and stairs, etc there is a real danger that someone won't have proper lifting technique and hurt themselves. And something (generally something you kind of care about) always gets broken or scuffed or whatever during a move. 22 Eargesplitten posted:What else should I be planning for with regards to the move? this is the first time we've moved from a place where we don't have any roommates, we aren't going to need to buy anything to replace what the roommates owned. I guess changing my car insurance and renter's insurance? I guess I'll also need to swap over our vehicle registrations to the new county. This is where it starts to add up, isn't it? 22 Eargesplitten posted:We are ridiculously excited right now. My best advice is keep a handle on the excitement and don't go overboard immediately with buying stuff for the new place. I would actually encourage you to think carefully about what fits into your new place and then sell or donate whatever is not going to work rather than hauling it with you just because you have it. Remember especially that if you are planning to get roommates, they'll have their own stuff as well. You will feel much better without the clutter around plus free up some cash to go towards the move. If you need help, I think there's an interior design thread somewhere in A/T that you can get advice from.
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Jun 7, 2018 08:48
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Droo posted:Hopefully you did the same thing before you moved in. This is the really important bit. If you do not have this it is going to be difficult to argue.
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Jun 8, 2018 03:32
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That is a super expensive quote. I paid something like $350 a few years ago to move our stuff from a one bedroom apartment (of a similar size) back to my parents' place for storage. It was minimum 3 hour booking, we boxed everything before hand, then 2 guys rocked up and put everything in a truck, drove it to the destination, then put all the boxes in the places we directed them to. It literally took them maybe 90 mins, they were so fast. Either you guys have a lot of stuff, or much of your stuff is difficult to move (piano? large furniture? fragile stuff?), or they misquoted. I'd ring them up to verify, especially after you get some more quotes in.
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Jun 12, 2018 08:48
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22 Eargesplitten posted:I got a quote for $240-360 from another place. Waiting to hear back from a bunch of other places, but that’s much more in line with what I’m thinking. 22 Eargesplitten posted:I just realized that since I have a basement now I could put together a bench, power cage, and weight set as funds permit. It would take a while, but it would be nice to be able to do a full routine at home. Haifisch posted:Protip: Be on the lookout for free/cheap workout equipment after next January passes and people realize they're too In addition to Craigslist, try Freecycle and Facebook Marketplace (and the Facebook buy/sell groups for your area). If you set up alerts for stuff you want, good deals do pop up from time to time.
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Jun 14, 2018 07:37
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to stick to their resolutions.
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Checking in! How are you guys doing?
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Jul 9, 2018 17:14
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What I have found to be effective in Australian summers (most days are 30 degrees Celsius or higher, with 40+ degree scorchers being a regular occurrence) is to cover up MORE, not less. Wear loose, long, light colored clothing and don't forget sunscreen, hat*, sunglasses and carry at least a medium sized water bottle at all times. If it is not humid where you are, spraying yourself with water can help you cool down as well. * Ideally wear a wide brimmed hat. If you hate the look of those and prefer baseball caps or whatever, well, then any hat is better than no hat. Also re: the dog, when I was living in New York, I saw people take their dogs out with doggie boots on to protect their feet from the snow and ice. A quick Google turns up a bunch of options for summer as well. So yeah: Nam Taf posted:Stop finding excuses, start finding solutions. Edit to add: there is also the option of carrying an umbrella. I know non-Asians don't tend to do this and I normally won't either but if it's 45 C out and the sun is beating down, I am gonna embrace my inner Asian FOB and use an umbrella. Leng fucked around with this message at 14:05 on Jul 12, 2018 |
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Jul 12, 2018 14:03
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It's been almost a month since your last post - how are things going with the new place, getting out to exercise and with finances in general?
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Aug 12, 2018 01:49
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Your post in the other thread reminded me to check back in here.22 Eargesplitten posted:I'm miserable and on the verge of a mental breakdown.  Sorry to hear that, but don't give up!22 Eargesplitten posted:That's kind of why I haven't been posting, everything is terrible and I hate updating with bad news because I hate typing out how terrible everything is. I'm down to about 2k in savings, way under a month's expenses. Since I'll have more time, I guess I'll have to be cooking more. Not a fan of that, but I am a fan of eating. Just remember most journeys don't have a perfect trajectory. As long as you get up after a relapse and keep going, you'll get to where you want to go eventually.
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Aug 22, 2018 11:52
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 18:57 |
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Thanks. I’m really trying to keep going, I need to improve my self-care though. I’ve started putting on jeans in the morning rather than just pajama pants, which actually makes a big difference. I know that’s weird. Not so weird - clothes and environment can make a big difference to your mental state. If you find something works for you, stick with it and keep going! 22 Eargesplitten posted:My roommate's ex just moved back from Alabama and is here most of the time (it's a weird situation, they have a baby together and still kind of like each other), and she has been saving us so much money on food. She loves cooking, so she's been cooking all of the time. We split the grocery bill and she cooks some great food. We sit in the kitchen and talk, which gives some much needed social activity. My wife will take care of the baby for a bit, I'll take care of the baby for a bit, my wife will help with the food, I'll set the table, and we all eat together. It's something that I haven't had for a long time. This sounds really nice! I hope she sticks around, it seems like this is a change that has lots of positives for you guys.
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Sep 4, 2018 06:07
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