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When I was growing up in High School I met my High School sweetheart. Unlike a Bruce Springsteen song, she was called Sue, not Mary. Sue and I were going steady for months and one night I took her down to the creek in my 396 Chevy and we knew that night we were gonna go all the way. We parked up, made some small talk and were both nervous. I had the World Series on the radio and goddamn it, it was a close game. It was the bottom of the ninth and we thought that they'd never win. As they played through the tenth innings, the squeeze play paid off and for the life of me I can't remember which darn team won that night. What I remember is Sue's body glistening through the moon roof on that darn Chevy as I climaxed inside her sinewy body. Eight months later, I flunked High School. Sue was pregnant and for my birthday I got a union card and a wedding coat. My dreams of being a high falutin' Wall Street trader doing coke off the exquisite tits of hookers were dead and buried. Her parents had made me promise to marry her to make sure that there was no bastard child and I lived up to the responsibilities that I had saddled myself with. When it came to Sue giving birth, the child came out of that once sweet cooch dead. Our child was a stillbirth, a dumpster baby to be thrown out because our darn 1950s medicine couldn't prevent it or find any medical use for the organs that had just been spat out. To this day, I still get PTSD flashbacks every time I open a can of Sweet Sue's Whole Canned Chicken, which is pretty much what I live off these days. The fleeting moment of hope that a live chicken will slide out of that opening, only to be greeted by the horrific reality. A dead animal sliding out in fluids.    Anybody else got any Springsteen/Meat Loaf/Officer and a Gentleman inspired tales of teenage woe they'd like to get off their chests?
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Nov 4, 2016 21:32
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 17:22 |
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jesus christ
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Nov 4, 2016 21:35
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you think anyone ever hosed one of them chickens?
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Nov 4, 2016 21:38
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Was it gloop or gloopgloop?
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Nov 4, 2016 21:38
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this thread made me feel again.
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Nov 4, 2016 21:57
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That's one hell of an OP
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Nov 4, 2016 22:01
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 those pictures are nms bro
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Nov 4, 2016 22:06
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Nooner posted:you think anyone ever hosed one of them chickens? *almost raises hand*
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Nov 4, 2016 22:11
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There's a blues-based musical in this one for sure.
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Nov 4, 2016 22:22
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Nooner posted:you think anyone ever hosed one of them chickens? This would make a good chorus.
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Nov 4, 2016 22:23
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Everything dies baby that's a fact
Nightrain fucked around with this message at 22:43 on Nov 4, 2016 |
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Nov 4, 2016 22:31
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Goddamnit once I saw that can it was all over for me. Also I'm vegan now.
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Nov 4, 2016 22:32
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Raar_Im_A_Dinosaur posted:Goddamnit once I saw that can it was all over for me. Also I'm vegan now. is this you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szz40SZMzpI
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Nov 4, 2016 22:33
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Nooner posted:you think anyone ever hosed one of them chickens? Only certain chickens meet the stringent requirements for being canned chicken. Guess which ones.
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Nov 4, 2016 22:39
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Nooner posted:you think anyone ever hosed one of them chickens? Humans... It's not an "if" it's a "how many"
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Nov 4, 2016 22:46
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requesting Chicken Fuckers tag for me and my friends
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Nov 4, 2016 22:47
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Cool thread, OP. I voted it 5 for you. Sorry about your chicken/baby.
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Nov 4, 2016 23:03
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I actually survived OP is just too embarassed to acknowledge me
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Nov 4, 2016 23:06
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whats wrong with that kid's face
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Nov 4, 2016 23:17
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Nov 4, 2016 23:18
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Nightrain posted:Everything dies baby that's a fact Chinatown will be so relieved when he reads this post.
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Nov 4, 2016 23:26
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they used to sell pouches of sweet sue chicken in prison and not even the most pathetic inmates would eat it
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Nov 4, 2016 23:26
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I went to the grocery store recently to get a nice canned ham to keep until the holidays.
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Nov 4, 2016 23:31
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I don't think I made a good choice.
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Nov 4, 2016 23:31
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jesus loving christ wtf Edit: mother of gently caress https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRBO9HaGq7E Edit 2: holy gently caress that is vile, I hope Trump wins and justs destroys your country because seriously gently caress you Lollerich fucked around with this message at 23:37 on Nov 4, 2016 |
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Nov 4, 2016 23:33
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Lollerich posted:jesus loving christ wtf It's now owned by a British company
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Nov 4, 2016 23:42
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Sweet Sue because if you try and eat it your family will end up suing for wrongful death syndrome because you died from getting terminal butt rabies from eating Sweet Sue boiled chicken rear end. Hee Haw!
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Nov 4, 2016 23:46
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Nov 4, 2016 23:58
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Theophany posted:When I was growing up in High School I met my High School sweetheart. Unlike a Bruce Springsteen song, she was called Sue, not Mary. Sue and I were going steady for months and one night I took her down to the creek in my 396 Chevy and we knew that night we were gonna go all the way. We parked up, made some small talk and were both nervous. I had the World Series on the radio and goddamn it, it was a close game. It was the bottom of the ninth and we thought that they'd never win. As they played through the tenth innings, the squeeze play paid off and for the life of me I can't remember which darn team won that night. What I remember is Sue's body glistening through the moon roof on that darn Chevy as I climaxed inside her sinewy body. 5ed lol i was thinking about the same thing
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Nov 4, 2016 23:58
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Jamoke posted:I don't think I made a good choice. loving great stuff.
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Nov 5, 2016 00:07
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it's real hard to describe what eating sweet sue chicken is like. nothing about the taste or texture is right. the chicken is room temperature and it has a slimy mouthfeel.
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Nov 5, 2016 00:16
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That looks so loving gross.
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Nov 5, 2016 00:40
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Nov 5, 2016 00:43
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holy gently caress hahahah
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Nov 5, 2016 00:49
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Nov 5, 2016 00:54
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Kosher Pickup Line posted:this thread made me feel again. Same, thank you op. 5'd.
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Nov 5, 2016 00:56
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Nov 5, 2016 01:27
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Nov 5, 2016 01:35
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Nooner posted:you think anyone ever hosed one of them chickens?
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Nov 5, 2016 02:21
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 17:22 |
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Nov 5, 2016 02:32
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